Category: disappointment

Jan 14

Planning to get in shape in this new year?

Many people make New Year’s resolutions to get in shape–perhaps walking or maybe strength training. But I’m wondering if you’ve considered any “internal jogging?”

That’s the phrase some researchers use to describe the therapeutic benefit of laughter because it increases our heart rate and our body’s ability to use oxygen much like physical exercise does. I don’t know about you, but I like the idea of “yucking” it up much better than the notion of pounding the pavement!

When I was first diagnosed with cancer as a young wife and mother, I honestly wondered if I would ever really laugh again.

That’s why when I came home from the hospital I sent my husband to the video store (remember them?) to get every “Pink Panther” movie he could find. I don’t know if you enjoy Peter Seller’s slapstick comedy as the bumbling Inspector Clouseau, but I always have found it impossible not to chuckle.

So I watched them all. I laughed through them all. And it was very good medicine.

I certainly don’t believe laughter always can cure what ails you, but I definitely believe the proverb that tells us “a cheerful heart is good medicine.” My Bible footnotes say the literal translation is “a cheerful heart causes good healing.”

(I was considering inserting an illustration here about how my husband and I got a lot of good medicine last Friday night as we watched THE Ohio State Buckeyes beat Texas and advance to the national
College Football Championship, but decided you might think that was tacky of me.)

Even if my last comment didn’t make you smile (pretty sure I can still hear my Penn State friends groaning), I absolutely believe it is possible to find joy every day. Consider Psalm 118:24:

The psalmist isn’t waiting to rejoice when there’s good health news. Or if the issue is resolved. (Or after his team wins.) No, he’s rejoicing in this day. God has made this day and it is a gift.

No matter what else happens–or doesn’t happen–go ahead and simply be glad in today. It will be good medicine for your soul.

Here’s a prayer for all you joy-seekers (based on Nehemiah 8:10 and Numbers 6:24-26):

Lord, I pray that You will give me a cheerful heart, in spite of all the struggles and heartaches in my life
and in this messed-up world. I don’t want merely to smile and pretend I’m happy.
But I do want to feel Your quiet joy and perhaps even hear laughter from my lips.

Please help me to heed Nehemiah’s words not to be dejected and sad, for “the joy of the Lord is my strength.” And Holy Spirit, please develop in me the fruit of joy—not based on my circumstances, but on my relationship with my heavenly Father. Let it be a joy that simply is grateful for a day to love and be loved.

I pray, Lord, that You will bless me and protect me. That You will smile on me and be gracious to me.
And that You will show me Your favor and give me Your peace. Amen.

(This blog is adapted from my devotional published in Praying through Cancer: Set Your Heart Free from Fear, ©2006 Susan Sorensen and Laura Geist, W Publishing Co., a division of Thomas Nelson Inc.)
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Open this music video in your browser if you want a chance to smile because ain’t nothin’ gonna steal one little girl’s joy!

Dec 31

Are you tired of all the bad news?

Interviewing Atty. F. Lee Bailey 1989

Sometimes I miss my days of being a newspaper reporter–reading three daily papers and chasing after big stories (like interviewing F. Lee Bailey, attorney for such notorious defendants as the Boston Strangler, O.J. Simpson, and Dr. Sam Sheppard, a.k.a. “The Fugitive.”).

But most of the time nowadays I don’t even want to hear much of the news.

Devastating wars, the constant threat of terrorism, political unrest,  severe weather disasters, so much hate, and too many friends and relatives battling illnesses.

Life is not only hard; it’s downright unfair, as some people seem to have more than their share of trouble. You or your loved one might even be one of those people.

Wouldn’t it be wonderful if we lived in a world where everything was fair, people didn’t get sick and sad things didn’t happen? That would be a great place to call “home.”

Did you ever wonder why there’s such a longing in each of us for just such a place? It’s a longing for home, you know.  A longing for our real home. You see, we weren’t created to live in Pennsylvania or New York or anywhere else on the face of this planet. We were created for our real home…Heaven.

Image by Tumisu from Pixabay

The Bible describes Heaven as the place where God “will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and there will be no more death or sorrow or crying or pain.” (Revelation 21:14)

And why won’t there be any more tears or death or pain? Not because we’ll have all the money we ever wanted. Or all the success. Or all the beauty. Or any other tangible item.

It’s because we’ll have God Himself.

“Look! God’s home is now among his people! He will live with them and they will be his people.” (Revelation 21:13)

We’ll have what we always really needed to be whole—the constant presence of God Himself.

The great 17th-century philosopher and mathematician Blaise Pascal wrote that we all have a “God-shaped vacuum” inside. There’s a hole, so to speak, in our souls that leaves us longing for something more than this world has to offer.

God has “planted eternity in the human heart” the writer of Ecclesiastes tells us.

God knows only He can fill that hole of longing even though we try to fill it ourselves. Some of us try to fill it by buying “stuff” or with relationships or with work or sports or with learning or religious rituals. Some even try things like food or sex or drugs or alcohol. But none of these can fill the God-shaped vacuum in us…instead they only make it bigger.

The only thing that fills that hole and makes us whole is when God fills it with Himself by putting His very Spirit inside us. And when God’s Spirit lives in us, we discover our purpose for living.

It’s really quite simple…Do you know what it is?

We were created to praise God.

That’s right. We find true joy, true fulfillment, when we realize there’s Someone bigger than us. Someone greater than us. Someone worthy of every bit of praise we can give.

If you’ve not really had praise for God well up in your heart lately (or ever!), I pray that you will today.

And if you’re still trying to fill that God-shaped vacuum with other things, I pray you’ll allow God to fill you with Himself and satisfy that longing for your real Home

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Open in your browser to hear “Indescribable” by Chris Tomlin and please sing along–out loud or in your heart.

And here’s a bonus video of Chris singing about “Home.”

Dec 10

For Those Without the Christmas Spirit

It’s the time of year when people talk about “getting in the Christmas spirit.” I’m not exactly sure what is meant by that phrase, but it certainly implies feeling joy and excitement for celebrating this yuletide season (like attending a CeCe Winans’ Christmas concert!)

But what about those who aren’t “in” the spirit? Those who are deeply grieving  the death of a loved one. Those who are battling depression and can barely get out of bed. Those whose hearts are breaking over a family member’s addiction. Those whose spirits are crushed by a spouse’s betrayal.

What do weary folks like these need to do at this time of year?

That’s the situation in which my friend Connie found herself back in 2004 just three months after her 47-year-old husband Brad collapsed and died while doing light construction work at a Guatemalan orphanage.  Facing the Christmas season without her “best friend, soul mate and life partner” was overwhelming.

“I felt terrible that because of Brad’s death I did not want to celebrate Jesus’ birth,” Connie recalls. “There is an unending ache in my heart and I just want him to come home–I just want to see him again.”

Thankfully, a good friend gave her some insight that helped ease the young widow’s holiday pain.

He asked and answered a question for her: “Do you want to know what Jesus is doing this Christmas season?…He’s weeping. He’s weeping with you.”

I love that image. Jesus wasn’t urging Connie to get in the spirit of the season. He wasn’t chiding her for expressing the painful feelings. The Lord wasn’t disappointed that she couldn’t just put a smile on her face.  He didn’t care whether she had a Christmas tree or sent out holiday cards or baked cut-out cookies.

No, He wept with her because her world had been rocked and her spirit was crushed.

Perhaps that’s how you feel this holiday season or maybe someone you love is struggling to “get in the spirit” because of their painful circumstances. Or perhaps you have a little of the “Christmas spirit,” but think you should do more.

What a great time to show grace either to yourself or someone else.

That mental picture of Jesus weeping with Connie in her grief helped her believe that her Lord truly did understand what she was feeling…even if no one else really could. She stopped worrying about a holiday to-do list and instead prayed:

“Just for today, I need to see Jesus.
Just for today, I need to seek Jesus.
Just for today, I need to serve Jesus.”

She celebrated the Savior…without the Christmas spirit. And I believe all of us weary ones can too.

“Somewhere in your silent nightHeaven hears the song your broken heart has cried.Hope is here, just lift your headFor love has come to find youSomewhere in your silent night.”

 

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Open in your browser and click “Watch on YouTube” small arrow in bottom left corner to hear the beautiful song “Somewhere in You Silent Night” by Casting Crowns.

 

 

 

 

Nov 26

When Life is “One Holy, Messy Struggle”

Weary…I’m guessing either you feel it or someone you love does.

I looked up  the word “weary” in my little Random House pocket dictionary of synonyms and antonyms I’ve had since my college journalism days and synonyms include: exhausted, tired, fatigued, spent, impatient, dissatisfied, tedious, and irksome.

Any of those describe you or your loved one these days?

There are so many things for which I’m grateful, like grandkids nearby (with a cuddly new family member!). And yet there are so many hurts piling up.  A cousin enduring chemo; another one awaiting biopsy results. Friends burying their young son. Marriages on the verge of break-up. Christians without compassion for others created in God’s image. A massive stroke paralyzing a wonderful husband and father. And six months of pain/doctors/scans/therapies after my “treadmill takedown.” (But that’s a story for another blog.)

If I‘m honest, I’m sad and grieving in the midst of Thanksgiving week. Yes, I am weary.

Shannon Adducci, a self-described “wife, mom, singer-songwriter, worship leader, trauma-survivor, mountain-lover, and Christ-follower,” once blogged about her emotional struggles:

“I have been programmed through the years to think I should just be able to choose gratitude at all times and, in every instance, flip weariness or sadness on its head and replace it with the spirit of joy – with the help of a handy, hip-pocket Scripture, of course!

“And, certainly, there is a place for simply choosing joy and gratitude. I do it often. But it also is incredibly important to honor the deep emotions we might be experiencing, lest they fester unattended and infect our souls.

“So, what if it doesn’t have to be one or the other of these? Not joy instead of sadness. Or recovery in lieu of grief. Or breakthrough eclipsing stuck-ness. What if it is actually OK to be in it all at the same time? …

“What if it could all be one holy, messy struggle and me not feel guilty about it?...

“So, here’s the good news…Even in my utter weariness, Jesus offers me an invitation and not a rejection slip. ‘Come to me,’ He whispers. ‘Not after you recover, but in order to recover.’

“Jesus fully and gently acknowledges exactly where you and I are and encourages us to hang out with Him in our most depleted state.” *

Let’s cling to the truth in the words of the beautiful Christmas hymn, O Holy Night written in 1847 by Adolphe Adam:

Long lay the world in sin and error pining
‘Til He appears and the soul felt its worth
A thrill of hope the weary world rejoices
For yonder breaks a new and glorious morn.
Fall on your knees; O hear the Angel voices!
O night divine, O night when Christ was born
O night, O Holy night, O night divine!

Thank You, Lord, for coming to our weary world and calling us into Your presence where we can find rest.

*©2020 Shannon Adducci. Bold emphasis mine.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Open in your browser to hear the encouraging words in Shannon Wexelberg Adducci’s song “Whole Heart.”

 

Aug 13

How Anger Evolved into Peace

The early days of the pandemic were pretty tough on everybody, especially those–like my friend Erin–dealing with serious health issues.

“After months of doctors dismissing my symptoms, they worsened in April 2020,” recalls Erin, who was 42 and experiencing abdominal pain with occasional fevers. “I had a few Zoom visits–because of COVID, I couldn’t get anyone to see me. They kept saying the symptoms were from COVID, which I didn’t think they were, but no one would listen.”

Finally on Aug. 21, 2020–her 43rd birthday–surgery was scheduled at Johns Hopkins, near her Maryland home.  CT scans had revealed an infection and doctors expected to treat a diverticulitis abscess.

“But I woke up from surgery to hear they found a tumor in my sigmoid colon and a hysterectomy was needed because of widespread infection inflammation,” Erin says. “I was a very healthy woman who had taken good care of myself, but I became a crumbled, devastated mess.”

Erin, a wife and mother of three–aged 10, 13, and 15 at the time– says she was “terrified” when she heard the news, including the fact cancer had spread to three lymph nodes and she would need six months of weekly chemo.

Erin’s family 2020

“Everything was spiraling out of control and it all felt very unfair.”

Having a life-threatening illness was especially traumatic because her only sibling–younger brother Dominic–died in 2004 from a drug overdose at age 23.

“I was worried about my kids, my husband and my parents,” she explains. “I’ve already lost my brother; they’ve already lost their son. Hasn’t our family had enough tragedy?”

Erin and my paths first crossed in November 2020 when she messaged me on Facebook, thanking me for how helpful 50 Days of Hope had been. Shortly after that, she joined my Moms’ Cancer Prayer Support Group  on Zoom and garnered a bit of relief for the isolation she felt.

However, chemo was tough for Erin–her fingers peeled so much she couldn’t open her cell phone by touch, and she lost all her hair–despite the nurses’ assurance that never happened with her treatment regimen!

Then 22 months after her diagnosis, a blood test revealed abnormalities. Follow-up scans showed an 8mm (pea-size) tumor on her liver.

Erin, a businesswoman https://www.erinpelicano.com with an engineering degree, found the new diagnosis “more devastating” than the first one.

“I have a brain for numbers and everything added up to stage 4 disease that I probably  wouldn’t survive,” she recalls.

In July 2022 she had surgery to remove the small spot, followed by complementary treatments intended to boost her immune system.

When I asked her how this roller coaster ride has affected her spiritual faith, she says it has “evolved.”

“At first I was incredibly angry with God because we had lost my brother and I had tried to be a good person and do the right thing. And I kept looking for someone to give me the reassurance that I was going to be alright, but no one would.

“Eventually I realized I had to lean on God and prayer to provide me peace in my day,” she explains. “I didn’t want to die young, but I came to a sense of peace after so much anger.”

And that peace came even before she sent me this text last month.

Erin says she continues to encourage others not to ignore their symptoms because “you know your body.”

“I knew something wasn’t right, but I couldn’t get doctors to listen to me. I think God can speak through our instincts,” she adds. “Don’t doubt yourself–fight for answers!”

Erin is committed to hearing truth everyday, so at 10 AM her favorite Bible verse pops up on her cell with some very wise words for the weary:

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Open in your browser to hear “In the Valley” by CityAlight and featuring Sandra McCracken.