Category: laughter

Sep 30

Still Learning to Love (and Live) Like Carolyn

Last month when Carolyn Dunn, my dear friend of 40+ years had a biopsy to diagnosis the “spots” on her liver and pancreas, we prayed it would be “just” lymphoma.

It was not.

Instead, she and husband David, a retired pastor, received what most would consider a devastating diagnosis–Stage 4 pancreatic cancer.

“I was stunned,” Carolyn said when she called with the CT scan news, which first revealed the lesions.

The couple, married 62 years, had been spending the summer at their remote, lakeside Maine cabin, affectionately named Dunn Inn. Their family took turns visiting and enjoying swimming, fishing, boating, lobster-eating and celebrating Carolyn’s 81st birthday.

In the spring, Carolyn had had stomach issues which seemed to resolve with medication, but in July the pain returned, along with a fever. After Maine ER docs and blood tests couldn’t find an answer, the Dunns headed back early to PA for more tests. That proved to be a wise decision as a CT scan revealed a pulmonary embolism (blood clot in the lung) and Carolyn was immediately admitted to the hospital.

After long conversations with her oncologist–a compassionate Christian man–Carolyn decided not to take chemo, but instead receive palliative (comfort) care.

I still am weeping.

I have considered Carolyn my mentor since David was on the committee which chose my husband in 1983 to pastor the new church plant in Spring Grove, PA. Ten years older than me, with three daughters–including a Bethany in the middle–Carolyn was the perfect wise woman from whom I could learn.

And learn I have.

I’ve watched her deal with the shock of teenage pregnancy, the pain of divorce, the estrangement of family, and the betrayals of ministry. And in each trial, she showed me how it looks to love unconditionally. To pray impossible prayers. To wait patiently on the Lord. To be the hands and feet of Jesus.

And in the good times (especially women’s retreats), I watched as she taught me to laugh at embarrassing moments–like when you’re fishing at your cabin and your husband bends over to tie up the boat, but you accidentally snag his underwear with your fishing hook, and then you’re laughing so hard you can’t get the hook out!

Now with this health news, I am watching my wise friend teach me to face my own mortality.

“I know my life is coming to an end, but I choose to focus on the goodness of God,” Carolyn said. “I want my life to bring glory to God–I want it to be a showcase for His glory!”

I am not surprised that Carolyn is facing death the same way she has faced life. What an incredible, eternal inheritance she is leaving her three daughters and their families, including seven granddaughters and six great-grandchildren (and yes, she finally got some boys!)

Casting Crowns’ lead singer Mark Hall has a beautiful song (video below) which says: “I don’t want to leave a legacy and I don’t care if they remember me–only Jesus.”

And then Hall’s song poses two great questions: “Did I live the truth to the ones I love?” and “Was my life the proof that there was only One whose name will last forever?”

Carolyn, just in case you ever wonder, I’d like to answer those questions for you.

YES, you lived the truth to the ones you love.

And YES, your life has been proof that there is only One whose name will last forever.

 I am one of the thousands who will remember you because of your legacy of loving and living like Jesus. From the bottom of my heart, thank you, dear friend.
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Please open in your browser to hear “Only Jesus” ©2018 Provident Label Group LLC, a division of Sony Music Entertainment

Jun 03

My Father vs. the Angry Goose

Did I ever tell you about the time my father was attacked on a golf course?

It’s true.

After Dad retired from civil service, he worked part-time at a community course as a ranger traveling the links in a golf cart. A seasoned golfer with a 4-handicap in his younger days, Dad knew he should steer clear of the nesting goose on the course. And thought he was keeping a safe distance from her not-hatched-yet goslings.

But mama goose apparently didn’t agree that he was far enough away, and as he rode by, she circled around and flew straight toward him.  Dad kept thinking that surely she would turn, but instead the goose aimed her sharp beak right between his eyes. At the last second he let go of the wheel and threw up his right arm to protect his face as the goose’s broad wing knocked off his baseball cap. Dad lost control of the cart and ended up capsizing in a shallow stream–much to the amusement of a nearby foursome of young guys, who literally fell to the green in hysterics!

He laughed as he later told me the story, but I was horrified.

“Dad, what if you hadn’t thrown up your arm in time?” I chided him. “Do you know what the newspaper headline would have been the next day?…’Man Goosed to Death on Golf Course’!”

Please excuse my weird sense of humor, but as an ex-newspaper reporter, I’m always thinking about stories and headlines! Anyway, the moral of this story seems to be that Mother Goose will do whatever needs to be done to protect her family!

Mother hens do likewise. Have you ever watched one clucking and spreading her wings as she tried to safely gather her chicks when a dangerous storm or predator approached?

Did you know that Jesus once described Himself as a mother hen? In Matthew 23:37 we read:

“O Jerusalem, Jerusalem, the city that kills the prophets and stones God’s messengers!
How often I have wanted to gather your children together
as a hen protects her chicks beneath her wings, but you wouldn’t let Me.”  (emphasis mine)

As Jesus looked over the city of Jerusalem, He knew that He was the answer to the longings of Jewish hearts, but the people didn’t want to hear it. Like a protective, loving parent, the Lord longed to draw these folks close and keep them safe, but they wouldn’t let Him.

Can you feel those “wings” over you today–protecting you, shielding you, trying to draw you close?

Even if you can’t, I promise you they are there.

The eternal God is your refuge, and His everlasting arms are under you.–Deuteronomy 33:27

He will cover you with His feathers.
    He will shelter you with His wings.
    His faithful promises are your armor and protection.-–Psalm 91:4

Yes, I know that bad things still happen to us and those we love. And yes, I know that unfair circumstances often are forced upon us. But I also know that even in the midst of this fallen world, God’s love cannot let us go.

Below are two favorite photos of my dad. In one he is safely holding 2-year-old me at the edge of Niagra Falls and in the other he meets and cradles his firstborn grandchild. Even if you don’t have happy memories of your earthly Father’s arms protecting and shielding you, today you can start experiencing that peace in your Heavenly Father’s arms as you draw close and let Him love you.

(Please open in your browser to enjoy the beautiful song “Under His Wings (Psalm 91) by Tom Mottershead.)

Jan 14

Planning to get in shape in this new year?

Many people make New Year’s resolutions to get in shape–perhaps walking or maybe strength training. But I’m wondering if you’ve considered any “internal jogging?”

That’s the phrase some researchers use to describe the therapeutic benefit of laughter because it increases our heart rate and our body’s ability to use oxygen much like physical exercise does. I don’t know about you, but I like the idea of “yucking” it up much better than the notion of pounding the pavement!

When I was first diagnosed with cancer as a young wife and mother, I honestly wondered if I would ever really laugh again.

That’s why when I came home from the hospital I sent my husband to the video store (remember them?) to get every “Pink Panther” movie he could find. I don’t know if you enjoy Peter Seller’s slapstick comedy as the bumbling Inspector Clouseau, but I always have found it impossible not to chuckle.

So I watched them all. I laughed through them all. And it was very good medicine.

I certainly don’t believe laughter always can cure what ails you, but I definitely believe the proverb that tells us “a cheerful heart is good medicine.” My Bible footnotes say the literal translation is “a cheerful heart causes good healing.”

(I was considering inserting an illustration here about how my husband and I got a lot of good medicine last Friday night as we watched THE Ohio State Buckeyes beat Texas and advance to the national
College Football Championship, but decided you might think that was tacky of me.)

Even if my last comment didn’t make you smile (pretty sure I can still hear my Penn State friends groaning), I absolutely believe it is possible to find joy every day. Consider Psalm 118:24:

The psalmist isn’t waiting to rejoice when there’s good health news. Or if the issue is resolved. (Or after his team wins.) No, he’s rejoicing in this day. God has made this day and it is a gift.

No matter what else happens–or doesn’t happen–go ahead and simply be glad in today. It will be good medicine for your soul.

Here’s a prayer for all you joy-seekers (based on Nehemiah 8:10 and Numbers 6:24-26):

Lord, I pray that You will give me a cheerful heart, in spite of all the struggles and heartaches in my life
and in this messed-up world. I don’t want merely to smile and pretend I’m happy.
But I do want to feel Your quiet joy and perhaps even hear laughter from my lips.

Please help me to heed Nehemiah’s words not to be dejected and sad, for “the joy of the Lord is my strength.” And Holy Spirit, please develop in me the fruit of joy—not based on my circumstances, but on my relationship with my heavenly Father. Let it be a joy that simply is grateful for a day to love and be loved.

I pray, Lord, that You will bless me and protect me. That You will smile on me and be gracious to me.
And that You will show me Your favor and give me Your peace. Amen.

(This blog is adapted from my devotional published in Praying through Cancer: Set Your Heart Free from Fear, ©2006 Susan Sorensen and Laura Geist, W Publishing Co., a division of Thomas Nelson Inc.)
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Open this music video in your browser if you want a chance to smile because ain’t nothin’ gonna steal one little girl’s joy!

Nov 07

Nothing Can Steal This Clown’s Joy

My friend Bunnie is a redheaded, retired heavy equipment operator with a delightful New England accent who loves to laugh. On weekends she “clowns” around at the local Dairy Queen whipping up balloons and smiles for children. On weekdays she takes off her clown make-up and cooks hot meals, which she joyfully delivers to the homeless folks in a nearby neighborhood.

Did I mention that she has stage 4 tongue cancer, carries her portable oxygen tank everywhere and is on hospice?

The year before her diagnosis, Bunnie moved to Florida and wondered what she would do in her post-retirement life.

“I was laughing so much, I dreamt I should be a clown,” she recalls with a chuckle. Bunnie Googled “clown schools,” found one only two hours from her new home, took the courses, and became a member of the Fellowship of Christian Magicians.

Then she began volunteering at her local Dairy Queen, performing magic tricks and twisting balloons into animal shapes. While the children enjoyed their ice cream, she shared character-building stories and told them about God’s love for them.

But in August 2013, the shows stopped when Bunnie was diagnosed with inoperable tongue cancer. Doctors told her that without chemo and radiation, she probably had six months to live. She was devastated with that prognosis, but resolute in her faith: “You can even take my tongue, and I’ll still find a way to share the gospel,” she announced to her doctor.

Bunnie had thirty-five radiation and eight chemo treatments. Following a two-week hiatus, she was back clowning at Dairy Queen.

After she read a copy of my first book, When God & Cancer Meet, Bunnie felt as if God were telling her to share her story by giving away copies of that book. So she bought dozens and passed them out to cancer patients and caregivers.

Then in May 2015 more bad news–a scan showed the cancer had spread to her lungs.

“I was really, really devastated for a little while—for maybe an hour or something,” she told me, chuckling on the phone, after we became Facebook friends. “The Lord said, ‘You’re still here for Me and I’m going to use you right here at the cancer center.’”

She headed back for more treatment and armed with more books (a final total of 425, she says!).

Think about it…Bunnie had every reason to be bitter—a devastating cancer diagnosis in a new state with no family nearby, just when she was ready to relax and enjoy retirement. Cancer of the tongue when she loves to talk fast and laugh often.

But Bunnie knows what I hope you do too—that your purpose in life never changes. It is the same whether you or your loved one has a lot of cancer, a little cancer, or no cancer. Your purpose in life—and mine—is to know God and love Him more, and to help others know God and love Him more.

Bunnie says her life verse is the same one I have chosen in my retirement:
“My life is worth nothing to me unless I use it for finishing the task assigned to me by the Lord Jesus
—the work of telling others the Good News about the wonderful grace of God.” Acts 20:24

As long as you have breath (even if it’s from an oxygen tank), God is not finished with you!

Excerpted from Peace in the Face of Cancer ©2017 Lynn Eib. All rights reserved.

UPDATE: In 2018 Bunnie passed away, 4.5 years after her initial diagnosis.
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Please enjoy the incredible testimony and original song “These Walls” from Jason Davis, the pastor who lost 80-percent of his tongue to cancer.

Apr 12

Incredible Getaway for Cancer Journeyers (at a very reduced price)!

Walking through cancer is a journey…so whether you’re 20 days in or 20+ years out of treatment (or anywhere in between), this incredible getaway is just for YOU! (And if you haven’t been diagnosed personally, please share this great opportunity with your family and friends who have.)

The 240-acre Oaks Retreat Center near San Diego, CA is the perfect place to find the restoration and rejuvenation we all need – mentally, emotionally, and spiritually.

Join NY Times bestselling author BOB GOFF,  musician-cancer survivor TIM TIMMONS, comedian-magician TAYLOR HUGHES, and the person-with-the most-cancer-survivor-friends, ME  🙂  as we offer hope, humor, and healing for the journey…unlocking what’s inside and releasing the YOU the world still needs! (And God wants to use!)

At this getaway, you will be poured into and surrounded by inspirational people in a safe environment with others on a cancer journey–who understand your journey like few rarely do. You will have plenty of opportunities to connect with one another or simply to be alone.

There are stunning views to enjoy, hiking trails, pickle ball courts, a swimming pool, cozy nooks in the cafe (complete with a fireplace), rocking chairs throughout the campus, and carefully crafted experiences to help you unlock where you are on your journey and what you need to thrive along the way. (Horseback riding and massage therapy are available for an additional charge.)

The cost includes two nights’ lodging, meals, snacks, and all the retreat sessions. Thanks to special funding, those costs are one-third to one-half of the usual price for a three-day Oaks Retreat with Bob Goff! (A few scholarships also are available for those with financial needs.)

It’s been almost 33 years since my cancer diagnosis and I still consider myself a cancer journeyer living in its shadow. But I’m  so grateful to be finding God’s light to lead me on the way. I would love to meet or reconnect with you June 5-7 at The Oaks Retreat Center and walk some of your journey with you.

Space is limited, so sign up today using this link:  Unlocking YOU

Blessings of HOPE,
Lynn

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Please open in your browser to enjoy the song “Cast My Cares” by Tim Timmons, diagnosed in 2001 with inoperable liver cancer and given a life expectancy of only five years.