Category: families

Sep 02

Celebrating My Favorite Octogenarian!

I vaguely remember when my maternal grandparents turned 80 and somewhat recollect when each of my parents reached that  milestone. But what I distinctly recall is that they all were really old!

So why isn’t my husband old as he hits the big 8-0 tomorrow?

He certainly doesn’t look his age and honestly, he has less physical ailments than I do, even though I’m seven years younger. Despite his youthful appearance and early morning daily workouts at the Y, Ralph acknowledges this birthday feels “tougher” than all the other ones because it “sounds old.”

As I tried to figure out a present which could convey how thankful and proud I am of this guy, I might have mentioned to a few people all over the country that sending a birthday card would be nice.

And I may have colluded with his men’s Bible study so they could gift him a stay at a beautiful resort where he can go fly fishing.

And I conceivably could have a family party planned with all the kids and grands this weekend.

But I want to do something more.

So will you indulge me for a few moments as I celebrate my favorite octogenarian?

My husband was born in Scranton, PA, “just like Joe Biden” as he likes to point out.

He was the only child of older parents. “I think Mom finally proposed to Dad after they dated about 15 years,” Ralph says, adding that he thinks he “might have been the second virgin birth.”

He graduated from Eastern Baptist College near Philly with a student body at the time of  525–about 75 people less than my math class at the Ohio State University.

After a sledding accident in college landed him in the hospital with a concussion, he felt “called” to become a pastor. In May of 1973, I accompanied him to his seminary M.Div. graduation in Massachusetts.  A month later, he proposed.

We only had been dating two months after meeting on a blind date, but we waited a whopping six more months more before tying the knot.

Ralph spent more than 30 years pastoring three congregations, including planting an American Baptist church in 1983, which still serves the Lord today. I wish I’d kept track of all the joyful baptisms he did. And he absolutely does the best weddings and funerals.

After retiring, he spent 10 years designing and selling church buildings. Since I retired in 2015, he takes care of many household duties –besides all his beautiful flowers outside–enabling me to have more time for writing and my cancer support ministry.

As the family patriarch, my hubby always texts an encouraging Bible verse prayer to family members each week.

At Refuge Church he’s the oldest member and still volunteers for remodeling and clean-up tasks at our new congregation’s future meeting place. He’s still as handsome as ever and he still makes me laugh–which I definitely need more of!

Shortly before we met, I made a decision that the only reason I would marry someone was if I believed that together we could serve God better than either of us could separately.

I believe that is exactly what has happened for the past almost 53 years.

And I expect it will continue…with my favorite octogenarian. Hopefully, ’til he’s 100 and I’m only 93.

I will be your God throughout your lifetime—
until your hair is white with age. Isaiah 46:4

The song below is my blessing for my wonderful husband. Perhaps you’d like to join me in praying it over him and your family as well. (Be sure to open in your browser to hear this 3 ¾-minute version of “The Blessing” by Cody Carnes and Kari Jobe.)

 

 

 

Jul 01

Celebrating as Much Life A.C. as B.C.

There’s quite a big anniversary being celebrated this week.

No, I’m not thinking of the  exciting 250th anniversary of our nation’s birth on Independence Day, July 4.

For me personally, an even more momentous anniversary occurs two days earlier. July 2 is the 36th anniversary of my surgery to remove Stage 3 colon cancer, diagnosed when I was 36 years old.

That’s right, I will have lived as long A.C. (After Cancer) as I did B.C. (Before Cancer).

Wow…so many emotions and memories swirling in my 72-year-old brain.

Without cancer I wouldn’t have developed a deep friendship with my oncologist, Dr. Marc Hirsh and his wife Elizabeth (pictured at this year’s Pink Out fundraiser for cancer patients).

Without cancer I wouldn’t have been an oncology patient advocate offering free emotional and spiritual support to thousands of patients and their caregivers for almost two decades.

Without cancer I wouldn’t have become a bestselling author of multiple books published by Tyndale House.

Without cancer I wouldn’t have met many of you.

And without cancer, I might not have learned how very wrong I was about God.

Back in 1990 from my hospital bed, the future looked bleak.

My chance of survival was maybe 40-percent. Odds were that my wonderful husband, whose first wife died from ALS, would bury another spouse. Chances were my sweet daughters would grow up without a Mommy.

Feeling afraid and overwhelmed, I fumed to God: “You are making a really big mistake here. And there’s nothing You can ever do to make up for this because it is too awful.”

But I was the one who was making a really big mistake. Even though I had been a Christ-follower since 1972…I was limiting God’s power to my meager human understanding.

My hope was just to see my daughters, then ages 8, 10 and 12, grow up. Instead I have had the precious privilege not only of seeing them mature into beautiful adults, but of getting to know and love seven amazing grandchildren, ages 8-15.

Thirty-six years ago I simply wanted to get well quickly. Instead God allowed me to suffer through my treatment (constantly nauseous and allergic to the primary chemo drug) so that I might be equipped to minister to suffering people–hundreds of thousands, according to my book sales.

My desire was to put my cancer ordeal behind me and return to a normal, happy life. Instead this disease has been a main focus of my life for more than three decades as God continues to show me that He “is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to His power that is at work within us.”  (Ephesians 3:20)

I am so humbled to see how the Lord has used me in spite of me and how He has used my cancer story for His glory. I don’t know why He allowed me to “beat the odds,” but of this, I am certain:

“The voices of a million angels could not express my gratitude.
All that I am and ever hope to be, I owe it all to Thee.” (Andrae Crouch ©1971)

As you celebrate America’s 250th anniversary, I hope you will join me in praising God for my 36th  “cancerversary.”
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Please open in your browser to hear (and perhaps sing along to) “My Tribute (To God be the Glory)” with Natalie Grant and CeCe Winans.

&nbsp

Jun 03

Six Years and Counting: My Oncologist Has Cancer Final Blog #14

SIX…WHOLE…YEARS

That’s how long it’s been since Dr. Marc Hirsh, my dear friend, oncologist and former boss, was diagnosed with a rare, stage 4, incurable neuroendocrine tumor of thymic origin.

Neither the specialists nor Marc expected him to last six weeks, let alone six months…and certainly not six years.

On May 22, 2020, Marc went to the ER with severe chest pain and great difficulty breathing. Imaging showed a 12 cm tumor in the center of his chest had invaded his heart and collapsed one lung. The next day after seeing the reports, Marc instructed his employees to start closing his 31-year-old oncology practice. The next month he devised his own protocol of radiation/hormone therapy/oral chemo and began his healing journey.

Regular follow-ups have miraculously shown the tumor to be smaller (less than 6 cm) and stable.

Last month Marc turned 75 and this week he and Elizabeth celebrated their 46th wedding anniversary. In these past six years, they’ve welcomed two adopted granddaughters, traveled tens of thousands of miles in their RV, and allowed a new dog–a 90-pound golden retriever named Boondock–to steal their hearts.

“I feel like the past six years, in some ways, are the most enjoyable of my life,” Marc says. “I loved being an oncologist, but it was hard work and stressful being in solo practice.”

And while he misses his patients, Marc (an accomplished, multi-instrument musician with a great Bob Dylan voice) really enjoys the extra time he has to relearn classical music, as well as play old favorite Messianic Jewish worship melodies. He’s even taught his only grandson to play the saxophone and describes him as “quite talented.” And after not having enough lung power to play his own sax for the first few years after the diagnosis, Marc once again has picked up his “baby” alto saxophone.

“I still get short of breath and a little light-headed if I forget to stop playing soon enough,” he says with a laugh, “but I’m enjoying it again.

“I’m living like I don’t have cancer,” he adds. “Psychologically, I feel like I’m cured and just slowing down because I’m getting older.”

20th anniversary

When I asked Marc what he’s grateful for in these “extra” six years, he quickly answered: “Definitely more time with Elizabeth, our (two) children and (five) grandchildren…and having time to do things outside of medicine.”

In 2023 another challenge appeared as Elizabeth was diagnosed with Parkinson’s disease. Her left side is greatly affected and she needs Marc’s assistance with the tasks she no longer can perform by herself. Prescription medicine has helped with some of Elizabeth’s symptoms and she is managing to push through the unpleasant side effects.

At his 5-year “cancerversary” milestone, Marc told me: “I’m incredibly grateful to God that He allowed me to be here for Elizabeth after all she’s done for me.”

When I first blogged about Marc’s diagnosis, I never imagined I would give semi-annual updates for six years. Now that he is finished with check-ups at Hershey Medical and will be followed by local physicians instead, there won’t be any more “updates” from me. Think of it as “no news is good news.”

Marc describes his life-shattering diagnosis as now feeling like a “distant nightmare,” adding “I barely remember it and feel like I’ve totally moved beyond it.”

“I think the thing I’m really grateful about is that I just feel a lot more peaceful, much less anger and frustration with other people,” he explains. “I wouldn’t say I feel closer to God, but it’s more of a peaceful relationship.”

To which I say, thank You, Jesus, for six…whole…years.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Please open in your browser to hear Rich Mullins, Marc and Elizabeth’s favorite Christian artist, sing “You’re My One Thing.” Songwriters: Rich Mullins © 1989 Edward Grant Inc.

May 20

Do You or Someone You Know Need a Vacation From Illness?

Our extended family of 14 (seven adults and seven kids) always spends a fun-filled vacation week together and this year we’ll be heading back to a lakeside home in the Poconos Mountains (a.k.a. foothills). I think most of us are counting the days until we can relax, refresh, renew…and catch more fish with Grandpa!

Ever feel like you need a vacation from whatever health trial you and your family are facing?

You probably do (or you know someone who does)—at least a mental one, if not a physical respite as well.

Believe it or not the chemo room at Dr. Marc Hirsh’s office, where I worked as a patient advocate for nearly 20 years, became a mini-vacation from illness for patients when we threw elaborate parties for two days near Halloween.

One year it was a Sesame Street theme and I obliged as Miss Piggy. (For the record, I “porked up” with eight pairs of rolled up socks under my skirt and down my blouse!)

Another year we dressed up as Wizard of Oz characters with good and bad witches giving chemo. I covered my whole yellow-clad body with a long piece of yellow shelf paper.

“Follow the yellow brick road!” I announced in my best Munchkin voice as I led patients back to the treatment room.

You’ve probably heard of the non-profit organization Make-a-Wish which grants wishes for children facing a life-threatening illness—often a trip to Disney World or a chance to meet a famous athlete or movie star, but there also are programs for adults.  

If you search “free wish-granting for adult patients” a slew of them come up. This list will get you started on vacays for all kinds of serious illnesseshttps://cancercarenews.com/more-cancer-freebies/wishes/ But don’t make the mistake I did once by searching for “adult wishes” as that’s an entirely different category!

My friend Barb Titanish and her wonderful H.O.P.E. ministry, have created a beautiful farmhouse retreat in south-central Pennsylvania where folks can have a vacation from cancer. The 18-acre site has a beautiful farmhouse, a swimming pool, peaceful walking trails, a tranquility garden and a fire pit . Folks can come for three to five days. https://hopelifeline.org/application-for-haven/ 

“Whether you are just diagnosed, starting a new treatment or at the end of life, you need to give yourself a break,” says Barb. 

You also can create a mini-vacation from illness right in your own home. Declare every first Friday of the month to be “Cancer-Free Friday” where you only watch funny movies and no one is allowed to mention the “C” word. Or plan an outing for the day—a backroads ride with a picnic or an ice cream stop. Perhaps a mani-pedi and a tea room. Or maybe an afternoon hitting golf balls and eating BBQ.

Ask yourself, what would help your mind/body/spirit to take a vacation from whatever you’re facing? Pray about it and ask God how you or someone you know can make it happen. People cannot read your mind so let those who have asked to help you know what you really need. You deserve a break today…and I’m not thinking McDonald’s.

When they walk through the Valley of Weeping, it will become a place of refreshing springs.
The autumn rains will clothe it with blessings. Psalm 84:6

Adapted from Peace in the Face of Cancer ©2017 by Lynn Eib

P.S. I’d love for you to leave a comment about vacation plans you have for any kind of R&R this summer!)

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Open in your browser to hear Refresh Me by Leeland

Feb 25

The Day Tim Timmons Left Me Speechless

L. to R. Tim, Bob, me, Taylor Hughes

In the summer of 2023, I had the incredible privilege of meeting and sharing the stage with a musician-cancer survivor of whom I had never heard: Tim Timmons. We both were speakers for a three-day cancer survivors’ retreat held at NYT bestselling author Bob Goff’s southern California conference center.

Personally, as a longtime colon cancer survivor, Tim had my full attention when he spoke about how “Poop Happens!” When he sang his debut number, Cast My Cares, I knew I had found a new musical prayer. And when he shared that he was a 20+-year survivor of a rare, incurable cancer, diagnosed at age 25 and now the father of four, my heart felt a special connection.

But it was when he told a true story that I absolutely fell apart.

Tim shared how he’d written and recorded a song he thought was “really good,” but his record label did not agree. Eventually, he and his best friend, Bart Millard (lead singer for MercyMe) rewrote and recorded it on the band’s label.

And then for the 35 of us cancer survivors in the room, Tim played and sang the song…Even If.

I stood to my feet, lifted my hands and sang my heart out. I had no idea Tim had the initial inspiration for my favorite song…the one with which I closed all my “Morning of Hope” seminars. The one that always leads me to bask in holy presence. And now God had allowed me to know the song’s story and meet its creator.

Scheduled to speak next, I went on stage, but was sobbing so hard I was speechless.

“I’m wrecked,” I whispered to Tim as he hugged me.

And why am I sharing this personal story today?

Because if you’re seeking a word to the weary for yourself or someone you love, I’m recommending you go meet Tim Timmons…at the movies!

Last week my husband and I saw the new release I Can Only Imagine 2, starring Milo Ventimiglia (This is Us, Gilmore Girls) as Tim. (It was my first time at the local Movie Tavern, where the plush seats fully recline and when you press a little button, a nice young man brings you food and drink. Who knew???)

Anyway, I went through two or three tissues and I could hear my husband sniffling next to me. Tears of sadness and joy. Goosebumps of God’s goodness. Infusions of faith.

We both were a whole lot less weary.

If you can’t get to the movie theater, Tim has other ways to encourage you, including his weekly podcast https://www.10000minutes.com/ which discusses practical ways to “realign our lives with the way and heart of Jesus.” (You also can sign up for uplifting text messages and view short videos to help feel God’s nearness. And find Tim’s music at https://www.timtimmonsmusic.com/ )

When Tim was diagnosed in 2001, doctors gave him five years to live. He turned 50 this month and next week is the release of his book, Waking Up Again: A Journey of Grief & Gratitude, co-authored with wife Hilary.

The authors say: “This is not a book about cancer. It is about how to embrace the gift of waking up each day, knowing the presence of Jesus in times of sorrow, and His faithfulness when the future feels fragile.”

Tim Timmons has been waking up on “borrowed” time for more than two decades. Every day he takes a black marker and makes an “X” on his right wrist, reminding himself that he’s been given the gift of another day.

I hope you’ll let his words/music/life “wreck” your weary heart with God’s love for you today.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Open in your browser to hear Make it Well, the newest MercyMe song, co-written by  Bart Millard / Ethan Hulse / Tim Timmons https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xLrF-ml7uks