Category: disappointment

Oct 28

When God was Ten Days Late

I distinctly remember when God was late…in fact, I was certain He was exactly 10 days late.

Dec.’93

It was Christmastime 1993 and it appeared our family soon would be homeless.

Our home, which had been on the market for nine long months, finally had sold. But the house on which we had a contingency contract–and really wanted–was purchased 10 days earlier.

We had  to be out of our house in 60 days, but already had seen every house in our price range within the 100-mile radius of our girls’ school district. There absolutely was nowhere else to look.

I figured someone in our church family would take us in, although the five of us might have to split up.

I was crushed.

Really, Lord?  You couldn’t have saved that house for a measly 10 more days?  I whined,

Our Realtor said he would talk to a couple who had withdrawn their house from the market after only posting it for a week.

“Let me see if they’ll agree to just one showing,”  he suggested.

They did, so we saw the home and quickly made an offer.  However, selling their house was contingent on them getting to buy a specific nearby house.

As negotiations continued the next night between the two homeowners, I remember forcing myself to pray for God’s will to be done…when I really just wanted to beg Him to get us this house!

I was relieved when two contracts were signed that night and we had a place to live, but troubled because I couldn’t see how we could pay the extra $40 a month for the new mortgage.

Honestly, Lord, I still don’t  understand why You let us lose the other house. It had an in-ground pool and wouldn’t raise our payments. It would have been perfect, I whined again. 

I was about to find out how imperfect my plan had been.

Brian and Mary Reigart, the former owners, were a little younger than we, but their kids were much younger–4 and 1 compared to our girls, 11, 13, and 15. Our families hit it off and the Reigarts visited the small church my husband pastored.

“When we attended that Sunday morning, it was such a moving experience that I couldn’t stop crying,” remembers Mary. “You said it was the Holy Spirit.”

The Spirit kept touching the couple as they began attending regularly and asked Ralph to baptize them. Soon our kids were swimming in their in-ground pool and we were vacationing together–they paid for places we couldn’t afford and we provided three free babysitters, which Brian and Mary seemed to think was an even trade. (It was many years later when our girls realized they had been unpaid help…they thought they were just having fun with two adorable kids!)

“So many memories I treasure,” Mary said as the four of us recently enjoyed a 2.5-hour tea luncheon. We reminisced of days when Brian and Ralph ran the Pigeon Hills. And when Mary and I studied (and laughed) together in our Wise Women group.

Did I mention that immediately after we moved into our new house, I got a raise at work…yep, $40 a month. Oh, and a few months later we drove by the “lost” house and saw a huge sand mound in the front yard nearly obscuring the house. We never could have afforded that $10,0000 septic remedy.

I like how Brian summed up our 30-year friendship: “You never know how God will be working. Even while we were taking our home off the market, God brought the Eibs into our lives to purchase it. And through that process He started a relationship which has blessed our family for 30 years and it is still going strong.”

I think I better retitle this blog: “When God was Right on Time.”
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Open in your browser to hear a beautiful song which perfectly describes what I experienced when I thought God was ten days late. “Four Days Late” with Juanita Du Pleissis, ©1997 by C. Aaron Wilburn and Roberta Wilburn

 

 

Sep 09

When Eagles Get Too Wet

If you’re wondering how I’m feeling after my August mini-sabbatical set aside for renewal and refreshment, I can describe it in two words:

Wet eagle.

No, not wet beagle…wet eagle. And I don’t mean a damp eagle, I mean a really soaking wet eagle.

Confused? Let me explain.

Four days before our scheduled family vacation the first week of August, my husband developed back pain so severe he couldn’t even stand straight. His chiropractor–after twice attempting adjustments–sent him to orthopedic urgent care. X-rays were negative and the diagnosis was sciatica with an Rx for six days of tapering prednisone.

Back at  home I parked my usually very helpful husband into a La-Z-Boy recliner and began caring for him while I finished all the packing for our week-long trip to a lakeside cabin coincidentally named “Eagles’ Landing.” Unfortunately, all that extra walking, leaning and carrying exacerbated my two medical issues: a plantar plate tear on the bottom of my foot, and the post-herpetic neuralgia in my back (think burning shingles pain which doesn’t go away).

I’ll spare you the play-by-play of our health saga, but more than a month later, we now know Ralph has a herniated L4 disc. Thankfully, he can stand up straight, but still has a long way to heal.

Meanwhile, my pain persists, which brings me back to wet eagles.

Did you know that an eagle’s estimated 7,000 feathers are not fully waterproof?  If they get saturated with too much moisture, these majestic birds actually get waterlogged and become aerodynamically unable to fly.

And if this occurs when they’re on the water–perhaps fishing for prey which fights and pulls them under–the eagle doesn’t have the lift necessary to take off. So it must start swimming toward land as evidenced in the link to this amazing 9-second video IMG_3615 taken recently by our friend Chris Gaffga as he kayaked on the Potomac River beside a too-wet-eagle.

After climbing ashore, Chris’s eagle spread its feathers and waited on the rocks for the sun to dry them before attempting to fly again.

That leads us to an important truth. While bald eagles normally soar up to 10,000 feet and golden eagles up to twice that high…

Sometimes even eagles can’t soar. 

I wanted to “soar” last month, but it didn’t happen. And I know many of you can relate. You or your loved one is dealing with a chronic condition. Or facing a serious diagnosis. Or reeling from life-altering circumstances. Perhaps you’ve felt water-logged for months, years or even decades.

Physically, some of us or our loved ones aren’t going to “soar” again here on Earth, but I believe spiritually we all can be lifted above the turmoil.


He gives power to the weak
    and strength to the powerless.
Even youths will become weak and tired,
    and young men will fall in exhaustion.
But those who trust in the Lord will find new strength.
    They will soar high on wings like eagles.
They will run and not grow weary.
    They will walk and not faint.--Isaiah 40:29-31

Image by rise-a-mui from Pixabay

Even if the physical deliverance doesn’t come in the way we prayed, God can give us emotional strength and spiritual power to not grow weary or faint. Who knows? He might send an eagle or maybe a  whole flock of them to carry us.

In the meantime, keep swimming, keep flapping, and keep trusting in the LORD. I’m right there with you…while I wait for the Son to someday dry my feathers.
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Open in your browser to hear “Lead Me to to the Rock” by Carly Fletcher.

 

 

Jun 17

Easy or hard: Which would you choose?

1st grade

3rd grade

It was early fall 1960 and my family recently had moved from Ohio to California.  I loved first-grade in the Buckeye State, but second grade apparently was “boring” in the Golden State where reading and math textbooks were the same ones I already completed.

My mother said I usually walked home from school, didn’t want to talk about anything, and then threw up. I would have suspected the cafeteria food or my tight perm, but  my parents, my teacher, and the principal got together and decided on a course of action.

After work that Friday, Dad sat on the edge of my bed with me. I don’t remember how the conversation started, but I definitely recall how it ended.

“So do you want to stay in second grade and have EASY work? Or go to third grade and have HARD work?”

With just-turned-seven-year-old exuberance, I replied: “I want to go to third grade and have HARD work, Daddy!”

On Monday morning, I took my crayon box out of my desk and marched down the hall to Miss Milford’s class, where I happily found “hard” work and stopped puking.

Pretty sure that was the last time in my life I voluntarily chose hard instead of easy.

Remember those Staples’ “easy” buttons from about 20 years ago? Personally, I would like the phrase “That was easy!” to describe my everyday life! I’m always on the lookout for ways to make life easier–for myself or people I care about. As I pray for the hurting people I know (and myself!), I always hope the answer/healing/resolution comes quickly.

But more often than not, it seems those prayers do not afford me a chance to respond with an “easy” button. Not only does life often not get any easier, sometimes it gets a whole lot harder–with no relief or explanation in sight.

I realize that many of you know exactly what I mean because  I’ve sat with you while you heard bad news. I’ve prayed with you when your world turned upside down. And I’ve cried with you as the worst actually happened.

You and I both know that life has not always been easy for you and your loved ones.

The word “easy” only appears in the Bible nine times–at least in the New Living Translation. Proverbs has a verse about lizards being “easy” to catch and the OldTestament prophet Ezekiel warns that scattered sheep make an “easy” target for predators.

But my favorite “easy” verse is found in Matthew 11:

“Then Jesus said, ‘Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens,
and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you. Let me teach you,
because I am humble and gentle at heart, and you will find rest for your souls.
 For my yoke is easy to bear, and the burden I give you is light.’”

I need to forget about the “easy” button and hoping to make life easy-peasy. Scripture never promises that God won’t give us more than we can handle, but Billy Graham preached and I believe:Billy Graham

“The will of God will not take us where the grace of God cannot sustain us.”

― Billy Graham

A yoke is not designed for one animal and neither were you designed to bear your burdens alone. Let Jesus carry them with you, resting in the sure knowledge that He will not take you where He cannot keep you.
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Open in your browser to hear “Rest for Your Soul” by Austin French.

May 20

Celebration Time: My Oncologist has cancer Part 13

Well, the milestone that no physician thought possible–but for which family, friends and patients prayed–is here.

Tomorrow, May 22, 2025, is the fifth anniversary of Dr. Marc Hirsh’s diagnosis of a stage 4 very rare neuroendocrine tumor of the thymus!

Marc doesn’t have a party planned–life itself is enough of a celebration for him.

He and wife Elizabeth–plus Golden Retriever Boondock–recently returned from two weeks of traveling south in their camper van–a trip that  seemed impossible five years ago.

Marc clearly remembers how he felt when diagnosed at age 69.

“When I saw  that it had invaded into my heart and was in my lung, I was pretty pessimistic,” he recalls. “I was having a lot of trouble breathing, short of breath and in a lot of pain. In the hospital when Elizabeth asked me if it was curable, I told her I probably would be dead in three weeks.”

The “lowest point” emotionally came during his appointment with an oncologist at Johns Hopkins, where Marc was “very hopeful” he would learn something optimistic.

Instead, the doctor recommended an extremely toxic chemotherapy regimen which had “no data that it was curative.”

“I still have the oncologist’s report…and it said that if I didn’t do what they said, I’d be dead soon.”

But Marc refused the recommended treatment.

“I knew how incredibly toxic it was and I knew how weak I was,” Marc explains. “I knew how immuno-supressed I’d be and we were in the middle of COVID. I likely would have had to spend a lot of time in the hospital and the virus easily could have killed me.”

Instead he devised his own protocol of radiation/hormone therapy/oral chemo and what had been a grapefruit-sized tumor was the size of a lime at his check-up last year.

Last week on their trip, Marc celebrated his 74th birthday with a quick stop to purchase the “State Dessert of Maryland.”

“I bought myself a Smith Island Cake and I froze it and am eating a piece every day,” he confesses with a smile.

Elizabeth added that “he’s eating it all by himself” as she  gave up  sweets decades ago!

Marc says the realization that he might not quickly die from the cancer has dawned slowly.

“After about two or three years of (the tumor) being completely stable or slightly smaller. I started thinking I might actually be cured and there’s no active tumor left,” Marc explains.

“But I’m under no illusion,” he continues, “that the cancer definitely will never come back. I have a check-up June 10 so we will see how it looks.”

In the meantime, he has joined the local senior center’s twice-weekly over-60 basketball league.

“My wind is not what it used to be and the games are pretty intense and exhausting, but I’m enjoying it.”

When I asked Marc if he had any encouragement for those facing daunting health circumstances, he replied: “No matter what the so-called experts say, there are exceptions to generalities.

“Keep living for the moment, each day, each hour, each minute, and try to find meaning and joy no matter what the situation.”

Marc, who for 30+ years has shared his faith as a Jew who believes in Jesus as Messiah, says his diagnosis reminded him that others would see whether his actions were consistent with his words.

“I knew I had the opportunity to be courageous and to live life to the fullest,” he adds. “I could be an example of how to deal with what life hands you.”

(Life has handed Elizabeth a challenge, too, as she was diagnosed in 2023 with Parkinson’s Disease and needs Marc’s assistance with tasks she no longer can do.)

And at this 5-year milestone, for what is Marc most thankful?

“I’m incredibly grateful to God that He allowed me to be here for Elizabeth after all she’s done for me.”

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Open in your browser to hear Rich Mullins, Marc and Elizabeth’s favorite Christian artist, sing “Awesome God.” It seems appropriate on this 5-year “Cancerversary” to acknowledge our awesome God, and Rich sitting at the piano sharing a little about his faith before he sings reminds me of what Marc has done at our prayer support group concerts for the past three decades.

 

 

 

 

Feb 25

Anyone need a “One-Minute Pause?”

I know those of you reading this blog have many burdens on your hearts. Some for friends and family. Some for crises you’ve heard or read about. And others for situations which haven’t even happened, but you fear they will.

Me, too.

And sometimes it feels overwhelming.

That’s why I’m so thankful I came across bestselling author and counselor John Eldredge’s “everyday practices for a world gone mad.”

“You’ve got to release the world…people, crises, trauma, intrigue, all of it,” Eldredge advises. “There has to be sometime in your day where you just let it all go. All the tragedy of the world, the heartbreak, the latest shooting, earthquake–the soul was never meant to endure this…It’s way too much. Your soul is finite. You cannot carry the sorrows of the world. Only God can do that. Only He is infinite.”

When I first read those words, I felt such relief. All of the day’s sad/disturbing/painful stories were too much for my soul to bear.  And that was ok because it’s not my job to bear them.

“Somewhere, sometime in your day, you’ve just got to release it,” Eldredge adds. “You’ve got to let it go.”

We do that, he says, by stopping throughout the day for a “One-Minute Pause” as we pray:

“I give everyone and everything to You, God.”

I love how The Message Bible paraphrases the call of Jesus to lay down our burdens:

Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you’ll recover your life.
I’ll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it.
Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you.
Keep company with me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly.
Matthew 11:28-30

Eldredge describes the One-Minute Pause as an invitation to “benevolent detachment,” which is the ability to let things go–“not so much physically, but emotionally, soulfully.”

It’s not a call to stop caring, but to surrender all those cares to the One who ultimately is in control.

This releasing of our heartfelt concerns to God helps clear out our “cluttered soul,” Eldredge explains.

It’s a “turning over into the hands of God whatever is burdening us and leaving it there,” he adds.

We empty our souls of the burdens we never were meant to carry and the Lord fills our souls with what we always really needed: Himself.

Go ahead and breathe deeply. Then take a One-Minute Pause to pray:

I give everyone and everything to You, Lord.

Then pray it again every time you find yourself trying to carry the burdens your soul never was meant to bear.

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Please open in your browser to hear  “Come to Me (The Rest Song)” by Steven and Hannah Musso. (Click on CC at the bottom for Closed Caption lyrics.)

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