Category: Miscellaneous

May 06

May: My Month of “Unanswered” Prayers

For me, May is a month full of mournful memories. Of difficult prayers not answered the way I had hoped.

Mom & Dad 50th anniversary 2002

  • A miscarriage ending my first pregnancy May 8, 1977—Mother’s Day!
  • My father’s death May 20, 2011, alone in his apartment with a hospice nurse, as my family raced there from another state, and as my mother—his wife of nearly 59 years—was transported home after an extended hospital stay in another town.
  • My mother’s death May 31, 2014, four months shy of welcoming two great-grandchildren.

I’m willing to bet you have some months, holidays or seasons which remind you of prayers not answered the way you hoped.

Why, God, did I even get pregnant if the baby was never going to be born? Why couldn’t this have happened on another day besides Mother’s Day?

Why, Lord, did my Dad have to be without his family by his side? Why couldn’t he live four more hours until Mom arrived?

Why, God, couldn’t my mom’s infection have been found sooner and treated? Why couldn’t she have lived a little longer and held two precious great-grandchildren?

I’m sure you have your own “whys.”

Why this diagnosis?  Why this financial struggle? Why this job loss? Why this grief?

I can honestly say that even though God didn’t give me any real answers to my questions, He did meet me in the pain.

Alone in my hospital room following the miscarriage and D&C surgery, I finally was able to cry. People telling me that I was young and would have other children had not soothed my grief.

1977 pregnant with Danielle

Don’t they realize I want the child I carried inside me for three months and already loved?

So in my despair that no one seemed to understand, I told God I needed to hear from Him.

I randomly flipped open my Bible and touched the right-hand page. (I do not normally recommend the “flip-and-point” method of scripture reading!)

My eyes fell on James 1:2-4:

Consider it all joy, my brethren, when you encounter various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance. And let endurance have its perfect result, so that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.

Reading those verses that Mother’s Day brought me a peace unlike any other time I’ve ever read them. I was still grieving my circumstances, but I knew the God of the Universe had heard my cries and was at work in my life. I could endure in His strength.

When my mother was in her last days resting peacefully in her own bed, I put a CD player on the headboard and a stack of CDs next to it—a mix of music she loved: barbershop 4-part harmony, instrumental jazz and worship tunes. I encouraged the caregivers to choose and a play a CD.

When she passed away, I walked into the room and fell to my knees sobbing by her bedside. I can honestly say it was the deepest sorrow I have known.  And then I heard it:

The CD playing an old a cappella version of  “In Christ Alone”–one of the songs I want at my funeral.

“My source of strength,
My source of hope
Is Christ alone.”

 I had not put in that CD and honestly didn’t remember the song was on one of the discs.

But God “remembered.” He knows how much that song means to me and He supernaturally arranged to have it playing as He welcomed Mom Home.

So, my weary friend, take all your questions to your heavenly Father and then “fall in the arms of the only One Who knows the reason for every hard season.”
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Please open in your browser to hear the encouraging song Hard Season by Matthew West.

 

Apr 22

The Most Important Thing about You

I treasure this depiction of “God” drawn decades ago by my youngest daughter Lindsey. Don’t you love God’s cape? Obviously a superhero to her not-quite 6-year-old eyes.

So I’m wondering what did God look like to you when you were a child? Has your mental picture stayed pretty much the same or has it changed?

I think most of us probably have some inaccurate views of God–images not taught in scripture, but impressed upon us by songs, movies or our upbringing. Contrary to that beautiful Bette Midler melody, God is not watching us from a distance. And while Garth Brooks is correct that “some of God’s greatest gifts are unanswered prayers,” we are not just talking to “the man upstairs.”

Twentieth-century American author/pastor A. W. Tozer made an amazing statement about how we view God:

Wow! The most important thing about you and me is not our jobs, education, money, looks or even our families. Instead the very most important thing about us is what we think about God–who He is, how He acts, what He can and cannot do.

In fact, our view of God shapes our attitudes, our emotions, our responses, and our plans in unimaginable ways.

So do you think of God as “the man upstairs” who’s nearby and helps out if we need a hand? Or is He the Creator who laid the foundations of the earth (Job 38:4) and whose power and presence cannot be contained in a building or a universe (2 Chronicles 2:6)?

Is He like Santa Claus making a list of who’s naughty and nice? Or is He the God of grace, giving us what we don’t deserve and of mercy, not giving us what we do deserve (John 1:16, Ephesians 2:4)?

Is the God in your mind a strict dictator only looking out for Himself? Or is He the always good Father who
“loved the world so much that He gave His one and only Son, so that everyone who believes in Him will not perish but have eternal life” (John 3:16)?

Is your image of God one of a magic genie who grants our wishes if we utter the right prayer or say the perfect number of Hail Marys? Or is He the holy Almighty “beyond our reach and exalted in power” (Job 37:23) and for whom “nothing is impossible” (Luke 1:37)?

Ponder your situation or your loved one’s and ask yourself: What am I thinking about God in relation to this trial…this diagnosis…this struggle…this fear…this disappointment…this loss?

Is your image of Him found in the Bible or has it been pieced together from some less reliable sources?

I love author Ann Spangler’s description of God: “With no failings or flaws, He is better than the best person you have ever met or read about. Because God is entirely good, there is never any room for improvement, never any need for change. Everything about Him–His thoughts, motives, intentions, plans, words, commands, decisions, and actions–is good.”

The LORD, the God of compassion and mercy!
I am slow to anger and filled with unfailing love and faithfulness.
—God speaking to Moses, Exodus 34:6

If that is what comes to mind when we think about God, it will change the way we face the trials of life.

Dear friend, no matter what happens–or doesn’t happen–to you or your loved one, I promise you that no one has ever, or will ever, love you as much as our good, good Heavenly Father does.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Open in your browser to hear “Good Good Father” by Chris Tomlin ℗ 2015 sixstepsrecords LLC and Capitol CMG, Inc.

Apr 08

Have you been bamboozled?

A few weeks ago I taught a Sunday School lesson for second- through sixth-graders which left most of the class gagging, spitting into napkins and begging for water.

My granddaughter tasting “wet dog!”

It was one of my all-time favorite lessons.

Lest you think I’ve totally lost my mind, here’s what happened.

I explained to the dozen kids gathered that I wanted to play a game which I was calling “Good Decision/Bad Decision.” Participation was entirely voluntary.

I think all of them were familiar with Bean Boozled jelly beans, but for any of you “uninformed,” there are two “flavors” for each color of jelly bean. You have to decide which one you will eat. A tan bean with brown spots could either be toasted marshmallow or stinkbug. A red and white one: pomegranate or old bandage. And an orange bean: peach or barf! 

I didn’t want any kids to actually “barf,” so I had napkins to spit out yucky beans, small cups with water to rinse out mouths, and delicious gumdrops to remove any lingering aftertaste.

I was surprised that every single student wanted to play and most wanted multiple turns! A few “good” decisions were made, but there were definitely plenty of “bad” too. (I ran out of napkins and most of my gumdrops. Here’s a 12-second video of some of the action https://youtu.be/P5mYYOFupgo )

Afterwards we talked about how to make good decisions and avoid bad ones, while recognizing that Bean Boozled candy didn’t actually give you any way to consistently make a good choice.

That lesson got me thinking about negative, life-altering events about which we don’t get a choice. Like when I was smacked by a colon cancer diagnosis in 1990 at age 36 when I was pretty much a health nut. I was perplexed and confounded this could happen to me and felt as if I had been fooled and cheated into thinking that living a healthy lifestyle would protect me. (By the way, all those italicized words are definitions of bamboozled!)

I got handed a stinkbug jelly bean instead of the toasted marshmallow one I expected.

How about you? Anything turning out in your life not the way you planned?  Perhaps something unfair or even unimaginable? Maybe a health diagnosis for you or a loved one which resembles “stinky socks” much more than “tutti-frutti?”

So much of the discouragement I’m feeling about this world right now stems from people’s decisions which adversely affect me and especially others I care about–leaving a “bad” taste in my mouth. So what can I do? Spit in a napkin? Drink water? Eat a gumdrop?

I wish it were that easy.

Instead, I remind myself that when life feels out-of-control, there is one thing I always can control: me.

“The longer I live, the more convinced I am that life is 10 percent what happens to us and 90 percent how we respond to it,” writes pastor-author Chuck Swindoll. “I believe the single most significant decision I can make on a day-to-day basis is my choice of attitude.”

So these are the verses I’m trusting the Holy Spirit to use for my “attitude adjustment:”

Listen, open your ears, harness your desire to speak,
and don’t get worked up into a rage so easily, my brothers and sisters. James 1:19 The Voice Bible

Since God chose you to be the holy people He loves,
you must clothe yourselves with tenderhearted mercy,
kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. Colossians 3:12

I agree with Pastor Swindoll that “When my attitudes are right, there’s no barrier too high, no valley too deep, no dream too extreme, no challenge too great for me.”

And I remind myself that as Mack Brock sings: “My God is still in control…You have not left me alone, though the world has let me down.”
(Open in your browser to hear.)

 

Mar 25

How My Cell Phone and My Husband Irritated Me

Sleepover “twinning” with the youngest grand

On and off for the past couple of years, my cell phone has been driving me crazy.

Just as I was falling asleep, I would hear a very loud noise, which sounded like some sort of a warning buzzer coming from my phone (in “Do Not Disturb” mode) lying on my bedside table.

Because I have a very strong “startle reflex”–inherited from my mother and grandmother, and unfortunately passed on to two of my daughters–when that “alarm” went off, I sat right up in bed, wide awake. I couldn’t believe my husband slept right through it! I immediately checked the phone, but found no emergency alerts activated. Twice I asked my girls to investigate why my phone was doing this, but they couldn’t find any cause either.

Fortunately, this only happened every few months, but recently it occurred two nights in a row. Now I was really irritated–both with my phone and with my husband for sleeping through such an earth-shattering sound! The next night I moved my phone across the room and covered it up, so I couldn’t possibly hear it.

But, you guessed it…it happened again. The strange part was the loud buzzer still sounded as if it were right next to me.

So the following day I googled “loud noise waking me up at night.” I skipped over the AI blurb and looked at the article from the very reputable Cleveland Clinic entitled “Exploding Head Syndrome (EHS).”

Say what???

It sounded like a joke, but I quickly read through the overview: “Often described as hearing sounds like explosions, gunshots, thunder or other loud noises. The sound isn’t real and nobody else can hear it.” (I immediately apologized to both my phone for not actually making any sound and to my husband for not actually being able to hear it! And I also was so glad I hadn’t “heard” an explosion or gunshot!)

The cause of this sleep disorder is unknown, although one possibility is the brain having an abnormal sleep transition–which seems to be my case as it occurs just after I’ve fallen asleep or just before I’m ready to wake up.

(I’m reluctantly adding Exploding Head Syndrome to my growing list of weird, chronic conditions, including post-herpetic neuralgia, psoas syndrome, hyper-accoustic ear, and plantar plate tear.)

 

So what’s interrupting your “dreams” these days? A health crisis? Marriage struggles? Job insecurity? Financial woes?

And what’s keeping you awake at night? War worries? Stock market anxiety? Wayward children? Aging parents? Unrelenting grief?

As for me, I’m trying to see life’s trials–including my “exploding head”–as an opportunity to really keep focused on the Lord. I know that when we’re weary, God can get our attention in a way that doesn’t always happen when life’s happy and smooth. (But it’s definitely not my preferred method!)

I keep reminding myself of the words to a song by Tim Timmons, a 25-year survivor of a rare, incurable cancer:

In the morning, You have my attention
In the evening, You have my attention
Every season, the laughing, the breaking
The dancing, the waiting
You have my attention

I don’t like the weariness I feel in my life and in this world, but I am listening for God’s “still, small voice.”

Weary friends, feel free to leave a comment so I can pray for you, too.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Open in your browser to be encouraged by “No Other Gods” from Tim Timmons.
© 2020 Integrity’s Alleluia! Music/10000 Minutes Prayers/SESAC (adm worldwide at CapitolCMGPublishing.com, excluding the UK & Europe which is adm by Integrity Music),Jingram Tunes (SESAC) / So Essential Tunes (SESAC) (admin. by www.EssentialMusicPublishing.com), When I Run Music (BMI) (Admin. by CopyrightSolver), Grunt Galaxy Music (ASCAP) CCLI# 7163054

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Dec 17

You Can’t Really Celebrate Christmas without Easter

Shortly after we moved to this area in 2015, we heard Lee Magness, a guest preacher at our new church say that he and his wife Pat had recently retired and relocated here to be near their grandchildren. I ran up to him after the service, introduced myself and asked if they wanted to join my husband and me in our brand new club: “Retired People Who Moved to Pottstown to be Near Their Grandchildren.”  He said “yes” and our very exclusive club (only four members) has been meeting regularly ever since! 

At one of our December “meetings” (the one after visiting Longwood Gardens for the Christmas lights), Lee gifted us a copy of his beautiful, original poem–(much more impressive than the homemade oatmeal I gave them.) I’m sharing the poem here as my Christmas gift to all of you. (If you were hoping for oatmeal, you’ll have to stop by my house.)

I love how Lee’s poem wonderfully entwines Christmas and Easter. It reminds me of the Apostle John’s description of that first Christmas as the time God encamped, tabernacled, pitched a human tent to make His home among us (John 1:14). I recommend reading the poem slowly to let the power of Lee’s words truly sink in.

ENCAMPMENT
So God stopped time for thirty-three years
And He pitched a tent of flesh
Which He unfolded one night
And enfolded the next

And that moment in which God tread time
Lasting from the darkness to the darkness
From the sunrise to the sunrise
Was called Jesus Christ

In great pain Mary labored over God
And suddenly in merciful agony
A man burst forth from the courtroom
Into the yard filled with a vicious mob

The mother knelt down
To wrap the baby in swaddling clothes
And they ripped them from his body
And kneeling down gambled them away

And because there was no room in the inn
She gently laid him
On the wooden beams of the cross
Where they nailed his reaching hands

And the animals heard the baby
And drew near hoping to be fed
And they bleated and bawled
Crucify him, crucify him

And the shepherds on the hillside
Came to see this thing
Which they thought would soon be past
And asked, Are you the King of the Jews?

And the wise men came to see Jesus
One brought spices, another perfumes
And a third removed his golden crown
And jammed its thorns into his brow

And in that dark Judean night
The new-born baby cried out
Wanting protection from the cold wind
My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?

And as the star stopped over the manger
There was darkness over the whole land
And just before the baby fell asleep
He softly cried, It is finished

And in that moment of ghastly glory
When Mary lay exhausted with an empty tomb
He said, I am the resurrection and the life
And in the next moment He redeemed the time
 ©1975 by Dr. J. Lee Magness

The birth of Jesus becomes worth celebrating when we fast-forward to His death and resurrection and see how He redeems–saves our souls–when we choose to follow Him.

So MERRY CHRISTMAS and a BLESSED EASTER!
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Every Christmas season I listen to all 2.5 hours of Handel’s Messiah on my old LPs…but did you know that George Frideric Handel wrote the 53-song oratorio for Easter, not Christmas?  The premier performance of Messiah was during Lent in Dublin, Ireland, on April 13, 1742, and at Handel’s request all performance proceeds were donated to prisoners, orphans and the sick.

The “Hallelujah Chorus” was performed for the first time in the U.S. on New Year’s Day 1863  at the Grand Jubilee Concert  in Boston, celebrating the news that Lincoln had signed the Emancipation Proclamation.
Please open the link below in your browser to be inspired by the Hallelujah Chorus. (Standing is optional 🙂 )