Category: waiting

Feb 25

The Day Tim Timmons Left Me Speechless

L. to R. Tim, Bob, me, Taylor Hughes

In the summer of 2023, I had the incredible privilege of meeting and sharing the stage with a musician-cancer survivor of whom I had never heard: Tim Timmons. We both were speakers for a three-day cancer survivors’ retreat held at NYT bestselling author Bob Goff’s southern California conference center.

Personally, as a longtime colon cancer survivor, Tim had my full attention when he spoke about how “Poop Happens!” When he sang his debut number, Cast My Cares, I knew I had found a new musical prayer. And when he shared that he was a 20+-year survivor of a rare, incurable cancer, diagnosed at age 25 and now the father of four, my heart felt a special connection.

But it was when he told a true story that I absolutely fell apart.

Tim shared how he’d written and recorded a song he thought was “really good,” but his record label did not agree. Eventually, he and his best friend, Bart Millard (lead singer for MercyMe) rewrote and recorded it on the band’s label.

And then for the 35 of us cancer survivors in the room, Tim played and sang the song…Even If.

I stood to my feet, lifted my hands and sang my heart out. I had no idea Tim had the initial inspiration for my favorite song…the one with which I closed all my “Morning of Hope” seminars. The one that always leads me to bask in holy presence. And now God had allowed me to know the song’s story and meet its creator.

Scheduled to speak next, I went on stage, but was sobbing so hard I was speechless.

“I’m wrecked,” I whispered to Tim as he hugged me.

And why am I sharing this personal story today?

Because if you’re seeking a word to the weary for yourself or someone you love, I’m recommending you go meet Tim Timmons…at the movies!

Last week my husband and I saw the new release I Can Only Imagine 2, starring Milo Ventimiglia (This is Us, Gilmore Girls) as Tim. (It was my first time at the local Movie Tavern, where the plush seats fully recline and when you press a little button, a nice young man brings you food and drink. Who knew???)

Anyway, I went through two or three tissues and I could hear my husband sniffling next to me. Tears of sadness and joy. Goosebumps of God’s goodness. Infusions of faith.

We both were a whole lot less weary.

If you can’t get to the movie theater, Tim has other ways to encourage you, including his weekly podcast https://www.10000minutes.com/ which discusses practical ways to “realign our lives with the way and heart of Jesus.” (You also can sign up for uplifting text messages and view short videos to help feel God’s nearness. And find Tim’s music at https://www.timtimmonsmusic.com/ )

When Tim was diagnosed in 2001, doctors gave him five years to live. He turned 50 this month and next week is the release of his book, Waking Up Again: A Journey of Grief & Gratitude, co-authored with wife Hilary.

The authors say: “This is not a book about cancer. It is about how to embrace the gift of waking up each day, knowing the presence of Jesus in times of sorrow, and His faithfulness when the future feels fragile.”

Tim Timmons has been waking up on “borrowed” time for more than two decades. Every day he takes a black marker and makes an “X” on his right wrist, reminding himself that he’s been given the gift of another day.

I hope you’ll let his words/music/life “wreck” your weary heart with God’s love for you today.
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Open in your browser to hear Make it Well, the newest MercyMe song, co-written by  Bart Millard / Ethan Hulse / Tim Timmons https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xLrF-ml7uks

Feb 11

Who’s Taking Care of YOU?

Do you know what to do if you’re on an airplane and there’s a sudden loss of cabin pressure?

Image by Orna from Pixabay

Scream? Pray? Help other passengers?

All good ideas, but if you paid attention to the flight attendant before takeoff, you know to “secure your own oxygen mask first before you help others.” 

Thankfully, I’ve never been on a plane experiencing a sudden loss in cabin pressure, but hearing a diagnosis of cancer or facing some other life-altering situation in your life or your loved one’s certainly can make one feel faint.

It’s common for folks to feel exhausted while caring for a cancer patient…or aging parents…or special needs children…or a loved one with a chronic condition…or grandchildren caught in a nasty divorce. The weeks, months or even years of loving support can weary anyone.

Many years ago I remember being awakened–yet again– in the middle of the night hearing my father-in-law in his bedroom below us. When I checked, I found him sitting stark naked on the bed. I asked him about his clothes to which he replied: “Ralph took them off.”

I redressed him, went back upstairs, chided my husband for disrobing his dad and tried to get back to sleep before I had to get three little girls ready for school.

I’ve been a caregiver for family members—either unwell physically or mentally—for most of the past three decades. I’ve had a relative with dementia living in our home for years and I’ve made bi-weekly seven-hour car trips for months to be with a relative undergoing chemo. I’ve been so physically fatigued I had to literally crawl up the second-floor stairs and I’ve been so emotionally exhausted I’ve spent hundreds of dollars pouring out my woes to a counselor.

Being a caregiver is incredibly hard…I get it.

But I also know we make the task even more difficult when we fail to take good care of ourselves. Do you know what Jesus said the two most important commandments are? First, “Love God with all your heart, soul, mind, and strength” and second, “Love your neighbor as yourself.”

Don’t miss those last two words: “as yourself.” It doesn’t just say to “love your neighbor.” It says we need to love ourselves. In fact, we can’t really love other people if we don’t love ourselves.

It is not selfish of you to do something refreshing, rejuvenating or relaxing for yourself. You cannot “fill up” your loved one when both of you are running on fumes. 

I remember when I settled my mother’s estate after she lived the last years of her life in a wonderful continuing care retirement community. There was a whopping $900 left.

I gave our three girls $100 each and told them to treat themselves. I gave my brother $300 and told him to do the same. And then I took my $300 and went to Hershey Spa for the day. I’m positive that my mom–a very frugal person–approved of my splurge.

If you can’t leave your family member alone, this is the time to call in one of those offers of help that others have made.  Watch a funny movie, enjoy a massage, go fishing, get a pedicure, take a walk, hit a bucket of balls, catch a nap. Do something to lift your spirits so afterward you can once again lift someone else’s.

And please cut yourself some slack as you wait for your caregiving burden to ease.  Here’s a prayer from the song “Make it Well” by MercyMe*:

I need a peace that only Heaven knows
Jesus, could you please
just sit and cry with me
Till I can sing
Till I can sing
It is well with my soul.

++++++++++++++++++Excerpted from Peace in the Face of Cancer ©Lynn Eib 2017+++++++++++++
* Please open in your browser https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xLrF-ml7uks&list=RDxLrF-ml7uks&start_radio=1  to hear  “Make it Well” by MercyMe (from their new film “I Can Only Imagine 2” in theaters Feb. 20).

Jan 14

Praying, Posting and Megan’s Update

So if you knew that there was a very strong possibility someone was planning on breaking into your home and stealing some of your precious possessions, what would you do?

Would you do nothing? Or would you try to prevent this from happening?

Personally, I first would pray.

And then I would get very busy.

Installing dead bolts, an alarm system, security cameras, motion detectors, door/window sensors, timers for lights, and maybe even recording a barking dog! I would spare no expense in making my home as secure as possible. I believe my actions either would prevent a burglar from entering, or at least catch the thief.

When I worked as an oncology patient advocate, I often posed the “burglar” question to those who had or were considering genetic testing. Their results would reveal whether they had an inherited mutation, greatly increasing the risk of certain cancers. I told them that in my opinion, knowing was far better than not knowing because if there was an “enemy” lurking to steal their health, there were steps they could take to eliminate or at least reduce that cancer risk.

Still it’s usually a difficult, scary decision to have genetic testing and then get a proactive plan to deal with the consequences.

And that is one of the reasons I’m so proud of my new Polish friend Megan, who was diagnosed last spring with breast cancer while pregnant with her little girl. Subsequent genetic testing discovered she had inherited a BRCA1 mutation, which led to more tough decisions for the 37-year-old mother of two. Last month after successfully completing her chemo treatment, Megan underwent a prophylactic double mastectomy.

“I am full of hope and I hope to God that everything will work out,” Megan wrote me just before that successful surgery.

I love this sweet young woman’s “Nehemiah” attitude. And by that I mean, she personifies one of my favorite verses:

 But we prayed to our God and posted a guard day and night to meet this threat.–Nehemiah 4:9

If you’re not familiar with Nehemiah’s story, this verse describes his response to enemy threats to the Jews rebuilding of the wall around Jerusalem. He prayed and then he posted people to guard the work.

What a great balance of faith and effort.

“Our prayers do not replace our actions; they make our actions effective for God’s work.”
–Enduring Word, Nehemiah Commentary

 Throughout Megan’s unwanted journey, she has clung to faith and taken steps to protect her health.

I don’t know what threatens your peace, but I hope you will respond like Nehemiah, with praying and posting a guard. Your prayers don’t replace your actions, but they certainly make them more effective for God’s work.

Next week on Jan. 19, Megan will have both her ovaries removed, as she posts another guard. Will you please join me in praying for her?
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Please open in your browser to be inspired by Lincoln Brewster’s “While I Wait.”

 

Dec 02

Holding on through the Doubts

“Your book has been a ray of hope for me,”  declared the email I received recently from a young woman in Poland.

GOD Wins over Cancer: testimonies of healing

When an international license for a Polish translation of When GOD & Cancer Meet was purchased a couple of years ago, I never imagined I actually would get to correspond with a Polish reader…wow!

But there she was–complete with a photo holding the book.

So today I would like to introduce you to that reader and share a little of Megan’s story–one of honesty, courage and faith…even in the midst of doubt.

After giving birth to a precious daughter this past April, Megan, 37, was diagnosed in May with Stage 2 breast cancer and a BRCA1 genetic mutation. Last month she finished  chemo, but still faces a double mastectomy and removal of her ovaries because of her increased cancer risk.

“This (diagnosis) has been very hard for me,” Megan told me. “Even though I pray and receive so much love and support from my family (including a husband and a teenage son), there are moments when I begin to doubt whether I will have the strength to endure to the end of the fight.”

“Even though I fully trust God and have surrendered my life and everything I love to Jesus, this time in my life is very difficult,” she confided.  “I want so much to live, to stay close to my family, to walk the dog…to simply live.”

 In her first email to me, Megan asked for something that could help her “hold on in the moments when doubt returns.”

What a great desire…not to give up no matter what life dumps on us.

Don’t all of us weary folks need some encouragement to hold on in the hard times? I sure did as a 36-year-old mother facing cancer back in 1990. And now as a grandmother twice that age, I still need uplifting when it seems every month I’m saying goodbye to another loved one, and every day the world feels less safe and peaceful.

Doubts can easily creep in as we wait for God’s timing to heal whatever has been broken or lost.

I believe these are the moments we learn to trust God in spite of, not because of our circumstances.

Even though the fig trees have no blossoms,
    and there are no grapes on the vines;
even though the olive crop fails,
    and the fields lie empty and barren;
even though the flocks die in the fields,
    and the cattle barns are empty,
 yet I will rejoice in the Lord!
    I will be joyful in the God of my salvation!
The Sovereign Lord is my strength!
Habakkuk 3:17-19

Dear sweet Megan, as you trust God in spite of your circumstances, I am believing Psalm 94:19 will be true for you:

When doubts filled my mind, Your comfort gave me renewed hope and cheer.

Next week on Dec. 11, Megan is scheduled for her double mastectomy and I don’t want her to have any doubts that God will be her strength and His comfort will renew her hope.

Friends, will you join me in praying for my new friend–who lives about 5,000 miles away, but is very close to my heart? And please pray also for the young atheist in the chemo room who received a copy of my book from Megan because as she said: “Who knows? Maybe it will touch her heart and she’ll start to believe.”

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Please open in your browser to hear the powerful words in the song “I Will Fear No More” by The Afters ©Fair Trade Services.

Oct 28

When God was Ten Days Late

I distinctly remember when God was late…in fact, I was certain He was exactly 10 days late.

Dec.’93

It was Christmastime 1993 and it appeared our family soon would be homeless.

Our home, which had been on the market for nine long months, finally had sold. But the house on which we had a contingency contract–and really wanted–was purchased 10 days earlier.

We had  to be out of our house in 60 days, but already had seen every house in our price range within the 100-mile radius of our girls’ school district. There absolutely was nowhere else to look.

I figured someone in our church family would take us in, although the five of us might have to split up.

I was crushed.

Really, Lord?  You couldn’t have saved that house for a measly 10 more days?  I whined,

Our Realtor said he would talk to a couple who had withdrawn their house from the market after only posting it for a week.

“Let me see if they’ll agree to just one showing,”  he suggested.

They did, so we saw the home and quickly made an offer.  However, selling their house was contingent on them getting to buy a specific nearby house.

As negotiations continued the next night between the two homeowners, I remember forcing myself to pray for God’s will to be done…when I really just wanted to beg Him to get us this house!

I was relieved when two contracts were signed that night and we had a place to live, but troubled because I couldn’t see how we could pay the extra $40 a month for the new mortgage.

Honestly, Lord, I still don’t  understand why You let us lose the other house. It had an in-ground pool and wouldn’t raise our payments. It would have been perfect, I whined again. 

I was about to find out how imperfect my plan had been.

Brian and Mary Reigart, the former owners, were a little younger than we, but their kids were much younger–4 and 1 compared to our girls, 11, 13, and 15. Our families hit it off and the Reigarts visited the small church my husband pastored.

“When we attended that Sunday morning, it was such a moving experience that I couldn’t stop crying,” remembers Mary. “You said it was the Holy Spirit.”

The Spirit kept touching the couple as they began attending regularly and asked Ralph to baptize them. Soon our kids were swimming in their in-ground pool and we were vacationing together–they paid for places we couldn’t afford and we provided three free babysitters, which Brian and Mary seemed to think was an even trade. (It was many years later when our girls realized they had been unpaid help…they thought they were just having fun with two adorable kids!)

“So many memories I treasure,” Mary said as the four of us recently enjoyed a 2.5-hour tea luncheon. We reminisced of days when Brian and Ralph ran the Pigeon Hills. And when Mary and I studied (and laughed) together in our Wise Women group.

Did I mention that immediately after we moved into our new house, I got a raise at work…yep, $40 a month. Oh, and a few months later we drove by the “lost” house and saw a huge sand mound in the front yard nearly obscuring the house. We never could have afforded that $10,0000 septic remedy.

I like how Brian summed up our 30-year friendship: “You never know how God will be working. Even while we were taking our home off the market, God brought the Eibs into our lives to purchase it. And through that process He started a relationship which has blessed our family for 30 years and it is still going strong.”

I think I better retitle this blog: “When God was Right on Time.”
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Open in your browser to hear a beautiful song which perfectly describes what I experienced when I thought God was ten days late. “Four Days Late” with Juanita Du Pleissis, ©1997 by C. Aaron Wilburn and Roberta Wilburn