Category: gratitude

Dec 16

Can You be Weary and Grateful at the Same Time?

 

Weariness…either you’re facing it or someone you love is. I recently heard from a songwriter and new FB friend Carrie Marshall* who told me that in this weary year she has been diagnosed with a concussion, COVID-19 and cancer.  “I call it the Triple C,” she explained with an added LOL.

I looked up “weary” in my little Random House pocket dictionary of synonyms and antonyms I’ve had since my college journalism days and synonyms include: exhausted, tired, fatigued, spent, impatient, dissatisfied, tedious, and irksome.

Any of those describe your feelings some days? Yes, there are so many things for which I’m grateful and yet there are so many losses piling up: worshipping together as a church; having friends into our home; hugging and holding hands with loved ones; and canceling a daughter’s 40th birthday weekend in Waco, a 50th high school reunion to southern California, special ministry events, and an exciting trip to Nova Scotia.

I constantly thank God for His blessings like the outdoor “Wild Lights” at the local zoo with the grandkids and grocery curbside pickup ready as soon as I finish writing. But if I‘m honest, I’m truly sad and grieving in the midst of my thankfulness.

Yes, I am weary.

Shannon Adducci, who knows a thing or two about weariness, describes herself as “a wife, mom, singer-songwriter, worship leader, trauma-survivor, mountain-lover, and Christ-follower.” Her recent blog about weariness was as excellent as her music. It inspired this blog and I’d like to share some of her encouraging thoughts with you.

“I have been programmed through the years to think I should just be able to choose gratitude at all times and, in every instance, flip weariness or sadness on its head and replace it with the spirit of joy – with the help of a handy, hip-pocket Scripture, of course!

“And, certainly, there is a place for simply choosing joy and gratitude. I do it often. But it also incredibly important to honor the deep emotions we might be experiencing, lest they fester unattended and infect our souls.

“So, what if it doesn’t have to be one or the other of these? Not joy instead of sadness. Or recovery in lieu of grief. Or breakthrough eclipsing stuck-ness. What if it is actually OK to be in it all at the same time? …

“What if it could all be one holy, messy struggle and me not feel guilty about it?…

“So, here’s the good news…

“Even in my utter weariness, Jesus offers me an invitation and not a rejection slip.

“Come to me,” He whispers.

“Not after you recover but in order to recover.”

“Jesus fully and gently acknowledges exactly where you and I are and encourages us to hang out with Him in our most depleted state.” (©2020 Shannon Adducci. Bold emphasis mine.)**

“Come to Me, all who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.
 Put My yoke upon your shoulders—it might appear heavy at first, but it is perfectly fitted to your curves.
Learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble of heart.
When you are yoked to Me, your weary souls will find rest.”
The VOICE Bible Matthew 11:28,29

Thank you, Jesus, that it’s okay for us to feel weary alongside thankfulness. I’m so grateful that we don’t have to just choose one or the other, but by the power of Your Spirit within us, help us to rest in Your presence.

“Long lay the world in sin and error pining
‘Til He appears and the soul felt its worth
A thrill of hope the weary world rejoices
For yonder breaks a new and glorious morn.
Fall on your knees; O hear the Angel voices!
O night divine, O night when Christ was born
O night, O Holy night, O night divine!”
(“O Holy Night” by Adolphe Adam 1847 emphasis mine)

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*To connect with Carrie and preview her beautiful, newly released single “I Will Sing,” (which she hopes “encourages others who are either in or headed into a dark and scary place”), go to https://music.apple.com/us/album/i-will-sing-single/1544622642?fbclid=IwAR29O3YQC5Ftyx2mNIFi1tZwaceUFti5zP-pThv0ilyXqlMOzd6VIRpJhEI

** To connect with Shannon and preview her incredible music, go to https://shannonadduccimusic.com/store (I have all her CDs and love them all!)

Please open in your browser to enjoy the powerful song  from the Christmas CD “Love Came for Me” by Shannon Wexelberg Adducci

Nov 11

Hope is the Thing with Feathers

 

If you had asked my friend Carollynn Supplee what gave her hope throughout her cancer journey, she would have smiled and quickly answered: Feathers.

She loved Emily Dickinson’s poem “The Thing with Feathers” which begins:

Hope is the thing with feathers
That perches in the soul,
And sings the tune without the words,
And never stops at all.

When she was first diagnosed with a brain tumor at the age of 46, Carollynn discovered a Bible verse that quickly became her favorite:

He will cover you with his feathers.
He will shelter you with his wings.
His faithful promises are your armor and protection. Psalm 91:4

Even though medical doctors and treatments at that time gave her no hope of surviving more than a few months, this verse gave Carollynn incredible hope. It also started a real fascination with feathers and the number 914.

“Whenever I see a feather it reminds me of God’s protection for me,” she told me shortly after moving to the area and joining my support group. “And I like to look for the number 914 on signs to remind me of God’s constant care for me.”

I had to chuckle when eight years after her initial diagnosis Carollynn held her first grandchild, born on her birthday and weighing 9 pounds, 14 ounces! When Carollynn passed away a few months later at 4:19 p.m., her husband Ed said he smiled at  Carollynn’s last gift to remind him of her special verse.

“One final example of her fabulous humor,” he wrote in an email to friends and family. 

Probably the most amazing, hope-filled story of Carollynn’s life under God’s wings happened in 1995 shortly after her diagnosis when she and Ed traveled to Chincoteague Island, VA, for the annual Wild Pony Swim & Round-up. The couple planned to buy a wild pony and donate it back, but when they arrived all the turn-back ponies were sold.

Meanwhile two little girls with $500 were desperately trying to buy a pony to take home, but the price always was too high. Carollynn noticed one of the girls had feathers on her shirt so she introduced herself to the family, shared her recent brain tumor diagnosis, God’s promise to cover her with His “feathers,” and her desire to give back a pony. It took some convincing, but finally the girls’ parents allowed the Supplees to buy them a pony.

They all thought Pony #42 was solid brown, but as he turned, a lone white streak resembling a jagged feather became visible. The girls named him Sea Feather.

For the next eight summers the Supplees traveled to Chincoteague and gifted a pony, including the final year when a wheelchair-bound Carollynn purchased “Chincoteague Miracle” for a sobbing little girl whose dad had recently passed from cancer. (A nonprofit “Feather Fund” established to continue the couple’s work has since given away 45 wild ponies including the 2004 recipient pictured below. https://www.featherfund.net )

When I see feathers today, they remind me of my beautiful friend Carollynn, but they also remind me of my God whose “wings” shelter us in our trials.

Because you are my help,
I sing in the shadow of your wings.
My soul clings to you;
your right hand upholds me. Psalm 63:7-8

Can you feel those “wings” over you—protecting you, shielding you, drawing you close? Have you trusted God enough to truly let Him cover you? He longs to do that for you.

“How often I have wanted to gather your children together as a hen protects her chicks beneath her wings,
but you wouldn’t let me.”
Jesus speaking over Jerusalem in Matthew 23:37

Please let the Lord love you today. Let Him hold you under His “wings” and give you hope.
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Be sure to open this blog in your browser to hear the music video “Psalm 91 (On Eagles’ Wings)” by Shane & Shane

Oct 14

“Cancer will not steal one day from me!”

 

Not long after Donna Wishowski was diagnosed with cancer, she made a decision which would radically shape the next 17 years of her life: “Cancer will not steal one day from me!”

It was a choice that no matter how many days she had left–or didn’t have left–she would not allow a disease to control them.

Oh, cancer tried plenty hard to do just that. It tried to steal her joy when she was first diagnosed in 2003 at the age of 52.  But she went through surgery, chemo and radiation–all the while trusting that “God has a purpose for my life.”.

And then less than two years later it tried to steal her faith by metastasizing to her lung. But she endured more surgery–always choosing to seek God as she “let the day unfold” before her.

In 2008 cancer made a desperate plea to steal Donna’s hope by taking Lee, her husband  of 40 years. But instead she insisted she would “be present in the moment” and not future what-ifs.

Then in 2015 cancer attempted to steal Donna’s strength as her long remission ended and the disease returned with a vengeance. But Donna persevered with her T.A.C.O. philosophy: Trust, Adventure, Challenge & Opportunity.

I didn’t know any of Donna’s story when she and her friend Jeanine emailed me in 2018 to tell me they had been praying with and giving away copies of my books to all the cancer patients they met.

The two ladies invited me to come to Ladysmith, Wisconsin, and share my “When God & Cancer Meet” seminar. I honestly tried to get out of it when I saw what a hassle it was going to be to get to their little town in the middle of nowhere: a 90-minute ride to the airport, two plane flights, and then a three-hour car ride. But it’s really hard to say “no” to a Stage 4 cancer patient who is determined to share the love of Jesus with hurting people.

And that’s how I had the distinct pleasure of meeting Donna in June of 2019.

Her daughter Bobbi says that year her mom’s “faith continued to grow stronger even as her blood counts fell and her cancer markers climbed.”

Declining health didn’t stop Donna’s ministry of encouragement. In March of this year, she ordered more of my books to give away and talked to my husband about how to start a prayer ministry at her church.

In July Donna decided to stop treatment, but cancer was not about to steal her love of the outdoors (including gardening, hiking, kayaking, snowshoeing and tubing). On July 17 she went for her final kayak ride (pictured above). On August 15 she planned to be boating on the river again, but was too weak to walk or climb into the kayak. Instead friends lifted her wheelchair into the water as she waved and flashed her beautiful smile.

Two days later–just shy of her 70th birthday–Donna Wishowski went Home to her Lord and Savior, having kept her promise that “cancer will not steal one day from me.”

Philippians 3:12-14 was her life scripture:

I don’t mean to say that I have already achieved these things
or that I have already reached perfection.
 But I press on to possess that perfection
for which Christ Jesus first possessed me.
No, dear brothers and sisters, I have not achieved it,
but I focus on this one thing:
Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead,
  I press on to reach the end of the race and
receive the heavenly prize for which God,
through Christ Jesus, is calling us.

And that, my friends, is  how we keep cancer–or anything else–from stealing even one day from us.

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Be sure to open this blog in your browser to hear the music video below “Joy” from Rend Collective. (The word “joy” was one of Donna’s absolute favorites, Bobbi says.)

Sep 30

Living with Uncertainty: My Oncologist Has Cancer (Part 4)

 

Would you like to hear some GOOD NEWS today?It has been 4.5 months since my oncologist and former employer, Dr. Marc Hirsh (pictured above with me in 1999) was diagnosed with an extremely rare cancer.  It has no known cure nor effective treatment, but Marc finished his self-prescribed regime of 30 days of radiation and chemotherapy a week ago. That in itself–as all of us cancer survivors know–is something to celebrate.

And there’s more GOOD NEWS.

“I’m feeling much better,” he told me in yesterday’s phone interview. “My swallowing is about 80-percent improved. The nausea is gone. I’m not as tired as I was, and my appetite is picking up.

“It feels great not to have to get up and take a treatment,” Marc added. “I felt like I was poisoning myself, but it was something I had to do.”

But there’s even more GOOD NEWS.

Marc’s radiation oncologist, Dr. Michael Watson told him that the tumor has “significantly shrunk.” More imaging will be done in about a month to measure the decrease and check for any new spots, but the early scans are encouraging.

However,  after practicing oncology for 31 years, Marc knows good news quickly can change to bad.

“The tumor is still there and it’s just a question of whether it will act up,” he explained. “I wonder how long this window of remission or ‘holiday’ will last. I have faith and believe that anything is possible and it could go on for years, but it could be only weeks or months.”

Still, given the “dramatic  and weird way” the cancer first presented May 23, Marc is grateful for how much his situation has improved.

“I had this big (12 cm) tumor pressing on my heart, pericarditis (inflammation of the heart lining), chest pain,  constant headaches from pressure on a blood vessel, a collapsed lung with a pleural effusion (excess fluid),  and I was short of breath,” he recalled. “I really thought I probably would die in a few weeks…So it’s amazing how good I feel now.”

When I asked Marc how he deals with the uncertainty his diagnosis/prognosis brings, he responded: “I’m sad and disappointed, but I still feel strong and optimistic.”

“You don’t know when adversity hits how you’re going to do,” he explained. “I’m lucky to have Elizabeth who has been at my side constantly. Not everybody has a partner with her strength and love, and my family has been here for me from the beginning.”

Marc,  a Jew who has believed in Jesus as his Messiah for the past 40 years, said he wondered if his faith would be the source of strength he expected it to be.

“I figured God would show up…and He did,” he said. “It’s been a confirmation of what I already believed.”

I asked Marc about Bible verses which have been especially encouraging during this trial and he immediately mentioned one of my absolute favorite scriptures:

Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away,
yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day.
For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us
an eternal glory that far outweighs them all.
So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen,
since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.
2 Corinthians 4:15-17

“There’s a lot of uncertainty, but I’m glad I’m not afraid of dying,” Marc added. “And I’m also very happy I’m still alive.”

We are too, Marc…We are, too.

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Be sure to open this blog in your browser to hear the music videos “Be with You” and “The Love of God” by Rich Mullins, Marc and Elizabeth’s favorite Christian artist. I couldn’t make up my mind which song to pick, so you get a double blessing today. This second one is only a little over 2 minutes long and so worth your time.

 

Aug 19

Faith & Family: My Oncologist Has Cancer (Part 3)

 

It’s one thing to be given a cancer diagnosis. It’s another matter to be told there is no known cure for that cancer. And it’s a whole other ballgame to learn there’s no recognized effective treatment either.

My oncologist, Dr. Marc Hirsh, has been smacked with this reality in the three months since he was diagnosed with an extremely rare atypical carcinoid of the thymus gland. And like so many facing a life-threatening illness, his world looks a little different.

“I’m learning to appreciate the moment– like when I take a deep breath and it doesn’t hurt and I don’t cough,” Marc told me in a recent phone interview. “And having medicine to control the pain is really great.”

So how does he get through the day without obsessing about his discouraging diagnosis and poor prognosis?

“I’m staying as active as possible–walking around our property everyday,” he said. “I also get a lot of joy in reading and studying.”

Music also brings much happiness to Marc, who has been “playing a lot of keyboard” since his diagnosis. (He also plays piano, guitar, saxophone and harmonica –and does a great Bob Dylan vocal.)

Since 1991 when I started the Cancer Prayer Support Group, Marc has entertained and  inspired his patients and their families at our semi-annual dessert concerts. Whether playing “Go Tell It on the Mountain” with a boogie beat or changing popular song wording to share his testimony (Aretha Franklin’s “You Make Me Feel Like a Natural Woman” became “You Make Me Feel Like a New Creation”), he brought much happiness to the crowds which eagerly gathered.

But Marc said what gives him the most joy each day is being with his family.

“I feel really fortunate to have my great wife and kids and grandkids here with me,” he said. “And all the cards I get are great, too.”

One of Marc’s favorite Bible passages, which helps him to “focus on living in the moment and not worrying about tomorrow” is found in the Sermon on the Mount.

“Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?…But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own. Matthew 6:25-27, 33-34

Still Marc acknowledged that “living for the moment is easier said than done.” In fact, he hesitated to offer advice on coping with cancer.

“We’re all so unique and God has created each one of us in a unique fashion, so I don’t think there’s a five-step solution,” he explained. “But I think we all need to find some meaning in the midst of the diagnosis. And we need to face our own death and not be in denial.

“I’ve always thought it’s a paradox that God is in control while life is random and chaotic ,” he added. “But whatever happens to my body, I know that my spirit is eternal  and when my body dies, it’s not the final answer.”

“I am the resurrection and the life.
Anyone who believe in me will live, even after dying.
Everyone who lives in me and believes in me will never ever die.”
John 11:25-26

P.S. (If you want to know how Marc, a Jewish physician, met the Great Physician and became a Christ-follower in 1979, I share that story in my first book When God & Cancer Meet.)

FYI Marc has a new blog where he explores medical, theological and philosophical issues related to his cancer journey. To sign-up for a free subscription, go to:  https://marchirshmd.wordpress.com

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Be sure to open in your browser to hear “Bound to Come Some Trouble,” another song by Marc’s favorite Christian artist, Rich Mullins.