Category: gratitude

Aug 05

Irony: My Oncologist Has Cancer (Part 1)

 

I remember thinking how ironic it was when I was diagnosed with cancer just six weeks after interviewing the local oncologist, Dr. Marc Hirsh, for my newspaper story about the hospital’s new cancer support group.

And now in an even greater irony, that cancer specialist–my oncologist–has been diagnosed with the very disease that he spent most of his adult life treating and trying to cure.

When Marc’s wife Elizabeth called with his bad news, I was devastated. The four of us have been prayer partners for almost 30 years, spent the past 24  Labor Day weekends cruising the Chesapeake Bay in their boat, and agonized  in prayer for countless cancer patients and their families during the nearly 20 years I worked as his patient advocate.

I’ve interviewed Marc many times in those three decades and written about him in all of my published books, so I figured it was time for another interview–this one to find out how it feels for an oncologist to be diagnosed with cancer.

“I feel like my cancer education has been completed,” Marc told me. “Right from the start (of this cancer journey) I was filled with a sense of irony. Every time an IV went in, or they drew blood, or I got a scan, it was surreal. I know it’s a cliche´ word, but it’s almost as if you’re out of your body watching and being dismayed and slightly amused at what you’re seeing.

“So, this is what it feels like to hear somebody say ‘there’s a tumor in your body.’ To hear ‘you have cancer.’  To hear ‘there’s a strong probability you’re going to die’,” he explained. “I knew about all that before, but I never knew what it felt like.

“It’s one thing to order a PET (scan), it’s another thing to get the injection and be left alone in a room for an hour waiting for it to happen,” he explained. “You just don’t have a clue what it’s actually like until it happens to you.”

The completion of Marc’s self-described cancer education began the night of May 22. He had Fridays off so he was home working out, playing music and feeling fine. The pain hit in the middle of the night and his wife of 40 years rushed him to the local ER. Tests there revealed a large tumor above his heart, but it was weeks before it had a name:  atypical carcinoid of the thymus gland. It’s a cancer so rare that there are only about 160 documented cases in the country.

There is no known cure and no known effective treatments.

Doctors at two medical centers suggested he take a strong, rather toxic combination of chemo drugs, but had no data to show it would work. So instead, Marc did what he’s always done when faced with a rare, difficult diagnosis for a patient: he researched.

Working alongside his Hershey Medical oncologist and Hanover, PA, radiation oncologist Dr. Michael Watson, Marc has come up with a plan he thinks could help:  a monthly hormone therapy injection, along with daily radiation therapy and oral chemo.

And despite the diagnosis and fairly bleak prognosis, Marc said he doesn’t feel afraid.

“Fear is the one thing I thought I would feel, but I didn’t,” he said. “Maybe anxiety or depression, but not fear.

“I never felt God had abandoned me,” he explained. “Forty years ago I asked Jesus into my heart and I’ve never felt since then that He wasn’t there–even in the tough times.”

The LORD is for me, so I will have no fear.
What can mere people do to me?  Psalm 118:6

 

Aug. 12 PART 2: My Oncologist’s Thoughts on Loss–his health, his profession and his beloved dog
 Aug. 19 PART 3: My Oncologist’s Thoughts on Faith, Family and Finding Strength

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Be sure to open this blog in your browser to hear the song “Hold Me Jesus” by Rich Mullins, one of Marc and Elizabeth’s favorite artists.

 

May 22

“Don’t look for big things, just do small things with great love… The smaller the thing, the greater must be our love.” Mother Teresa

 

I’m pretty sure the only thing “small” about Mother Teresa’s life was her stature. Nearly 50 years of sacrificially serving the “the unwanted, the unloved, the uncared for” hardly seems to qualify as doing “small things.” But there’s certainly no doubt that this diminutive nun, honored in 1979 with the Nobel Peace Prize, was filled with great love for the poorest of India’s poor. 

Don’t worry, I’m not suggesting you head to Calcutta and take a vow of poverty (although health insurance premiums, deductibles and co-pays may leave you feeling as if you have!). But I am encouraging you to ask God to show you some small things you can do with great love.  No matter how uncertain or bleak life looks, I guarantee you it will become brighter as you reach out in love to others in need.

Cindi, a cancer survivor who lives in the shadow of recurring granulosa cell tumors, says she wakes up each day “knowing my life is very different than most people.

“I’m either overwhelmed with thankfulness for still being alive six years past my diagnosis or just the opposite, and I am overwhelmed with fear that I might not be here for my daughter in the future,” she explains.

“The way I try to cope with it is to live outside myself,” she says. “It really helps to get out of my own crisis and reach out and love someone else. I try to offer acts of kindness toward others—visits, cards, small gifts.”

Cindi says she doesn’t have money or energy to do big things for others so one day she bought a bunch of $3 plants at Aldi discount grocery and gave them to folks who “needed cheering up.” Another day she and her daughter delivered bags of Pepperidge Farm cookies to friends going through hard times.

“I would say everyone who got them cried,” Cindi recalls. “You think you’re going to bless this person, but you walk away blessed. The Lord has given me several opportunities to encourage others and in so doing, I’m the one who has been encouraged.”

Doing small things with great love “really helps me to come out of my own health crisis,” she adds.

I realize it might not sound logical, but the next time you are feeling anxious or worried or discouraged or overwhelmed, try living outside yourself. Ask God to show you even one small thing you could do with great love for another person who is going through a hard time.

 

“Come be My light” were the words Mother Teresa heard Jesus speak to her heart as He called her to minister to the poor.

I believe He whispers those same words to all of us today—cancer survivors and caregivers included.

Come be My light to someone else feeling the darkness. Come be My light even if you think your light is a small one, it is better than no light at all.  Come be My light because when you shine it with great love, it is sure to be a blessing.

“Here’s another way to put it: You’re here to be light, bringing out the God-colors in the world.
God is not a secret to be kept. We’re going public with this, as public as a city on a hill.
If I make you light-bearers, you don’t think I’m going to hide you under a bucket, do you?
I’m putting you on a light stand. Now that I’ve put you there on a hilltop, on a light stand—shine!
Keep open house; be generous with your lives. By opening up to others, you’ll prompt people to open up with God, this generous Father in heaven.”
Matthew 5:14-16 The Message Bible 

Excerpted from Peace in the Face of Cancer. Copyright 2017 by Lynn Eib.
+++++++++++++
Make sure you open this article in your browser so you can enjoy the song below by Kathy Troccoli.

 

 

 

Mar 13

Have you raised a HALLELUJAH today?

A diagnosis of cancer or any difficult trial brings with it many responses, but “Hallelujah!” is not usually one of them. When I found out my cells had gone awry and allowed cancer to grow inside me, gratefulness was pretty much the last thing I felt. 

But I kept thinking about the admonition in the Bible to “give thanks in all circumstances” (1 Thessalonians 5:18). I knew that did not mean I had to be some sort of masochist and praise God for ­every­ awful thing that happened to me. Instead, I believed it meant I could have a thankful heart no matter how depressing my circumstances were.

So a few weeks after my diagnosis in 1990, I began to look for something for which to be thankful. It was one of those conversations between my head and my heart.

Let’s see . . . I have cancer at the age of 36 after taking good care of myself physically. No, ­can’t think of anything worthy of thanks there.

My three little girls may have to grow up without a mother. Nope, that ­doesn’t work either.

My husband already has buried one wife and now has a 60-percent chance he’ll outlive another. Naw, that isn’t inspiring any words of praise.

­I’m going to have to take toxic chemotherapy, when I ­don’t even like to take an aspirin. Not much there to feel grateful about.

Finally, it came to me.

Dr.  Marc Hirsh! I have a Messianic ­Jewish oncologist—who knows, maybe the country’s ­only Messianic ­Jewish oncologist—practicing medicine just seven miles from my home. I humbly bowed my head and heart and for the first time since hearing the dreaded news “you have cancer,” I thanked God in the midst of my circumstance.

“Father, you know I ­don’t feel any thankfulness about my situation, but I want to thank You for leading Dr. Marc Hirsh here to be my physician.”

I can ­only imagine God smiling and saying, “Now you’re getting it. Just wait to see how ­really thankful you’re going to be when you I use this doctor to change your life.”

After that prayer, the rest is history, as they say. (If you want to read the earlier incredible story of Marc’s spiritual journey to faith in Jesus as his Messiah, you’ll have to read my first book, When God & Cancer Meet.) But the short story of our “doctor-patient relationship” is that our families became close friends and in 1996 he and his wife Elizabeth offered me a position in his office as a patient advocate providing emotional and spiritual care to cancer patients and their caregivers. I ­can’t imagine what my life would have been like without being a patient advocate for nearly 20 years.

If you or your loved one have a cancer diagnosis or are facing some other unwanted difficulty, I’m wondering if in the midst of your circumstances you have found a reason to raise a HALLELUJAH–literally “praise song” (hallelu) “God” (Jah)).

I think the Old Testament prophet Habakkuk penned a wonderful example of offering a “sacrifice of praise” (Hebrews 13:15) even when everything around him was going wrong:

Even though the fig trees have no blossoms,
And though there are no grapes on the vines;
Even though the olive crop fails,
And the fields lie empty and barren;
Even though the flocks die in the fields,
And the cattle barns are empty,

Yet I will rejoice in the LORD!

I will be joyful in the God of my salvation! Habakkuk 3:17,18

Go ahead, be thankful in all things—even when the hair follicles have no “blossoms,” even though your strength “fails”” and even though your dreams “lie empty and barren.” Go ahead and “Raise a Hallelujah” because a prayer of thanksgiving can unleash the power of God in our lives in amazing ways! (Don’t miss the music video below–open in your browser to view!)

Dec 19

Training Yourself to Be Invincible to Pain

 

Last week I shared with you my pastor’s thoughts on not being consumed with trying to make all our pain go away, but instead learning how to be invincible to it–“incapable of being conquered, overcome or subdued” by it.  Those who accomplish this “are an unstoppable force,” Pastor Brian said.

I’ve been trying to be invincible over the last nine months, which–without going into detail–have been and continue to be a huge health ordeal for my husband and me. Suffice it to say, that next to having cancer and chemo in 1990, this has been the most difficult year of my life.

And unlike Superman I wasn’t born “invincible,” so today I’m sharing some more of Pastor Brian Jones’ “pain” blog including my thoughts at the end. His words (in italics) have been a great reminder to me during this season of suffering and I pray they will be to you too.
++++++++
I know this sounds counter-intuitive – but I want to challenge you to pray a prayer of thanks right now for the pain you’re going through.

Thank God for your trials.

Thank Him for the person these trials are helping you become.

Ask Him to help you reinterpret the pain you’re going through, from viewing trials as “signs of His absence” to viewing them as “opportunities for His goodness.” Allow the Holy Spirit to train your mind to be “invincible”–unstoppable–to pain by seeing God’s presence in any and all our circumstances.

Sometimes the goodness of an event can be recognized immediately. Other things like problems with kids or a sickness can take years to put our finger on any silver lining.

And let’s be frank, some events will never be able to be viewed as blessings during our lifetimes. It will take standing next to Jesus Himself and having Him show us the big picture before we’ll be able to make sense of what happened.

Until then, let’s pray for the courage to pick up our crosses instead of walking around them. 
+++++++++++
If you are like me, the last thing you really want to do is pick up a cross. But it’s an action required of all true Christ followers: “Then (Jesus) said to the crowd, ‘If any of you wants to be my follower, you must turn from your selfish ways, take up your cross daily, and follow me’.” (Luke 9:23, also Matthew 10:38, 16:24; Mark 8:34; and Luke 14:27).

I’ll readily admit that when it comes to my health–or my husband’s–I’m “selfish.” My prayers become very self-centered and self-serving: Heal me, Lord. Father, make this go away quickly. Jesus, restore him now (so I don’t have to be a constant caregiver!).

I’m always looking for quick fixes which will make me feel or my loved one better. But what if that’s not the cross God has for me to carry?

What if having to go to physical therapy so often causes me to develop friendships with people who need Jesus?

What if countless doctors’ appointment afford the opportunity for Christ to shine through me in those medical offices?

What if slowing down because of health limitations makes me rely more on the Holy Spirit’s power than my own strength?

What if all this waiting for test results and restored health is designed to help me be still and know that He is God?

What if the blessings I’ve been seeking are not as important as the ones my Heavenly Father has in store?

And as Laura Story sings in the video below: “What if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise?”

“Always be joyful. Never stop praying. Be thankful in all circumstances, for this is God’s all for you who belong to Christ Jesus.”  1 Thessalonians 5:16-18

Brian Jones is the founding Pastor of Christ’s Church of the Valley in Royersford, PA, a graduate of Princeton Theological Seminary, and the author of four books. He’s also my pastor and most important of all, a huge Buckeye fan! Connect with him at  https://brianjones.com

Nov 21

Some Help So You Can Be Thankful in All Circumstances

It’s Thanksgiving week and most of us are pretty busy getting ready to eat lots of food…I mean, say lots of thanks. So instead of me pecking away with only one hand (yep, broken wrist still healing) to write words you don’t have time to read, I’m posting a couple songs of thankfulness. You can listen to them while you roll out pie crusts or mash sweet potatoes or double-check your turkey cooking instructions to prevent salmonella!

Or crank up the volume, have a seat and take a break from your holiday preparations to, (especially if you’re not really feeling well).

However or whenever…just please take few moments to be blessed by these songs of gratefulness. I’ve included the lyrics so you can sing along if you like 🙂

“Always be joyful.
Never stop praying.
Be thankful in all circumstances for this is God’s will
for you who belong to Christ Jesus.”
–1 Thessalonians 5:16, 17

No matter what we’re dealing with this Thanksgiving, we have a God who loves us and proved it once and for all when He sent His Son to save us from our sins and defeat our greatest enemy, Death. Let’s give thanks to Him in all our circumstances.