Category: gratitude

Dec 26

Happy Endings!

I have a confession to make. I’ve never even admitted it in public before.

I enjoy romantic Hallmark movies.

Yes, I know they all have the same plot: A beautiful, successful city girl visits her small hometown, where she meets/gets reacquainted with a rugged, handsome guy, who has nothing better to do than help her every day until they fall madly in love and drive off in his pickup.

I simply love happy endings.

In fact, I really don’t like to watch any movie that doesn’t have one. I guess it’s because I see so much sorrow and sickness in real life.

So, may I share a personal story with a very happy ending?

I have gone on only one blind date in my life: April 6, 1973. I was 19 and finishing up my junior year of college. My friend Janet and her husband Tom set up a next-day double date for me with the assistant manager of the Christian bookstore that Tom ran. I already had plans to play table tennis with a guy who was perfecting my forehand slam, but I broke that date (another first).

We saw the movie Doctor Zhivago and had sundaes at Friendly Ice Cream afterward. I remember I ordered a junior hot fudge because I didn’t want my date to think I was a big eater.

Apparently, my small appetite impressed him because on June 4, after two whole months of dating, Ralph proposed. I immediately said yes–basically the first and last impulsive thing I’ve ever done in my 70 years.

We married Dec. 29, 1973, which makes this Friday our 50th anniversary.

We’ve had our share of struggles–trying to make ends meet while paying my tuition and Ralph’s seminary loans, as well as hospital bills from his late wife’s battle with ALS.  The ending of our first pregnancy with a Mother’s Day miscarriage in ’77. The diagnosis of my colon cancer in 1990  with a 40-percent chance to survive.

Ralph has endured replacing two shoulders and three knees (not a typo– one got infected and had to be redone after I gave him six weeks of daily IV antibiotics). Most recently I developed a small bowel obstruction, which could have taken my life, but thankfully was successfully resected.

We’ve weathered the ups and downs of more than three decades of pastoral ministry and spent years caring for aging relatives who had neither the strength nor the finances to care for themselves.

I married Ralph because I believed that together we could serve God better…and by His grace I think that has happened.

It’s incredible what one blind date has led to: three daughters, three granddaughters, four grandsons, two sons-in-law, and half-a-century of getting to know and love God more, while trying to help others do the same.

And that’s my happy-ending story.

Of course, we don’t know how it eventually ends here on earth, but praise God, we do know that an unending happily-ever-after awaits us in Heaven.

Please rejoice with our love story as you listen to this love song, which I’m dedicating to my husband…and to my Savior.

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Sep 26

Family Additions: My oncologist has cancer (Part 11)

Not only is my oncologist Dr. Marc Hirsh alive and well 3.5 years after pretty much everyone expected him to die, but his family is growing.

On the same day this month that he got the good news from Hershey Medical that the 2.5-inch tumor behind his heart is still stable, he officially gained another granddaughter! Daughter Sarah adopted  a precious 3-year-old girl, whom the single mom has fostered since she was about 18 months old.

“The official adoption proceedings were great,” Marc told me on the phone a few days ago. “Social services had a big party afterwards for everyone and then Sarah had a party on the weekend with a huge blow-up water slide. It was great!”

The newest Hirsh joins big brother Levi, 9, and  another foster child whom Sarah has had since she was just a few months old.

The other new Hirsh family member is even younger…but much bigger.

Meet Boondock, a loving golden retriever who weighed about 80 pounds at 16 months when he came to Marc and Elizabeth.

Ouachita Lake State Park, Arkansas

Even though they’re both bonafide dog lovers, neither had planned on getting another dog after Marc’s beloved Jake had to be put down in 2020. But when the sweet, golden pup needed a home, it was clear to them that they should welcome “Boonie” into their house…and their 19-foot RV.

“He’s a very good traveler,” Marc said. “He really enjoys the RV although he’s too big to turn around in it and has to back up.”

Boondock is “very comfortable in small spaces” and “scrunches up” into the crawl space below the Hirshes’ bed when they lower it for sleeping, Marc said.

The three of them have plans to go out West and visit daughter Jessi and family in Oregon, with plenty of scenic stops along the way.

“I pick out all the routes and areas I want to see and make all the camping reservations,” Marc explained. “I’m the navigator and Elizabeth does all the driving.”

I asked Marc, 72, how it feels to be surviving a rare, incurable cancer for this long.

“I get anxious a couple of weeks before I go in (for a 6-month recheck) because I still have symptoms,” he acknowledged. “I get winded more easily now and you never know whether it’s old age or something else. I definitely have ‘scanxiety’ and it’s good to get a normal report.”

But he refuses to cower in cancer’s shadow, fretting about the future.

“I’m just kind of at this place where I’m really happy to be alive and have a (sound) mind and be with people I love,” he explained.

Biblehub.com

“Living in the moment really gives me peace,” he added. “I don’t worry about tomorrow. I want to be grateful and concentrate on living for today. I’m not worrying about cancer.”

P.S. Marc is moving his semi-annual checkups to summer and winter so the family can more easily take long road trips in the fall and spring.  Next check-up and blog update: June 2024.

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Open in your browser to enjoy  “You’re Always Here (Psalm 23)” by Rich Mullins, Marc and Elizabeth’s favorite Christian artist. (I wish it was better audio, but the words are still powerful.)

 

 

 

 

 

Jul 26

What Happened when I Didn’t Feel Thankful

Photo by Alexas_Fotos on Unsplash

Struggles and afflictions in life produce an assortment of emotions…thankfulness is not usually one of them. In 1990 when I found out my cells had gone awry and allowed cancer to grow inside me, gratefulness was about the last thing I felt.

But I kept thinking about the Bible verse to “give thanks in all circumstances” (1 Thessalonians 5:18). I knew it didn’t mean I had to praise God for ­every­ awful thing, but instead, that I could have a thankful heart even in the midst of awful things.

So a few weeks after my diagnosis, I looked for something for which to be thankful.

Summer 1989

Let’s see . . . I have cancer at the age of 36 after taking good care of myself. No…can’t think of anything worthy of thanks there.

My three little girls may have to grow up without a mother. Nope, that ­doesn’t work either.

My husband already has buried one wife and now I have a  60-percent chance of dying soon. Naw, that isn’t inspiring any words of praise.

­I’m going to have to take toxic chemotherapy, when I ­don’t even like to take an aspirin. Not much there to feel grateful about.

Finally, it came to me.

Dr.  Marc Hirsh! I have a Messianic ­Jewish oncologist—who knows, maybe the world’s ­only Messianic ­Jewish oncologist—who last year began practicing medicine just seven miles from my home.

For the first time since hearing the words “you have cancer,” I thanked God in the midst of my devastation.

Father, you know I ­don’t feel any thankfulness, but I want to thank You for leading Dr. Marc Hirsh here to be my doctor.

I can ­only imagine God smiling and saying, “Now you’re getting it. Just wait and see how ­really thankful you’re going to be when I use this doctor to bless and change your life.”

©Kevin Glibert, “Physician” Magazine

The short story of what happened with our “doctor-patient relationship” is that our families became close friends and in 1996, Marc and his wife offered me a position as a patient advocate providing emotional and spiritual care to his cancer patients and their caregivers.

I ­can’t imagine what my life would have been like without being a patient advocate for nearly 20 years. It’s incredible to me what one small prayer of thankfulness set in motion.

Dear friend, I don’t know what trial or heartache you’re facing, but I’m wondering if you have found anything for which to be thankful in the midst of your circumstances?

The Old Testament prophet Habakkuk penned a wonderful example of thankfulness even when everything around him was going wrong:

Even though the fig trees have no blossoms,
And though there are no grapes on the vines;
Even though the olive crop fails,
And the fields lie empty and barren;
Even though the flocks die in the fields,
And the cattle barns are empty,

Yet I will rejoice in the LORD!

I will be joyful in the God of my salvation! Habakkuk 3:17,18

Go ahead, be thankful in all things—even when the chemo hair follicles have no “blossoms,” even though your strength “fails”” and even though your dreams “lie empty and barren.” Go ahead and rejoice in the Lord because a prayer of thanksgiving can unleash the power of God in truly amazing ways.
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Be sure to open in your browser to hear “Good God Almighty” by Crowder ©2021.

Mar 14

Dancing for “Stable”: My oncologist has cancer (Part 10)

STABLE.

As an adjective, Merriam-Webster defines it as “not changing or fluctuating” and gives it synonyms like firm, solid, steady, secure, fixed and strong.

Those words have positive connotations and especially when applied to a disease not considered curable. Like the very large, very rare, neuroendocrine carcinoma of thymus origin lurking behind the heart of my oncologist and dear friend, Dr. Marc Hirsh.

When I got the good news last week that his scan at Hershey Medical Center once again showed the tumor was stable, I was elated! However, as you can see, my text response was decidedly understated. That’s because I was sitting at a nice restaurant with three women who had driven half an hour to meet me and discuss broadening their cancer support ministry–so, it didn’t seem appropriate to be scrolling through my phone for just the right celebratory emoji!

Marc’s Hershey visit was with a new oncologist (his former one retired) who had mountains of records to read regarding this incredible journey which began in late May 2020. Marc was so sick and the prognosis was so poor back then that he immediately closed his three-decade old, solo-oncology practice.

Because no effective treatment was known, Marc devised his own protocol consisting of monthly hormone injections, daily radiation and an oral chemo.

“So far your regimen is working,” the new oncologist told him.

Marc isn’t ready to give the treatment all the credit because he also believes in the healing power of God.

“Whatever the reason (the tumor is stable), I’m just grateful to have the time,” he told me me on the phone.

So I asked this 72-year-old beloved physician, husband, dad, and grandfather how he uses this gift of “extra” time (besides enjoying family!).

“I read four or five hours a day–books on medicine, philosophy, science and theology; newspapers and magazines,” he replied. “I exercise an hour or two a day, play piano about an hour.”

Oh, and he’s rereading the entire Bible–something he first did in 1973 at the age of 29 after a  good-looking lifeguard at his apartment pool promised him that “if you pray and read the Bible with an open mind, God will reveal Himself to you.”

Marc and the lifeguard have now been married 42 years and shared the ups and downs of life together–including both being diagnosed with COVID-19 in December after attending Marc’s family reunion in New York.

Elizabeth’s symptoms resembled a mild cold. But with the nearly 2.5-inch tumor behind Marc’s heart and one of his lungs damaged from an initial collapse, he fared much worse.

“I had very serious symptoms and was surprised how much pain I had,” he said.

Flat on his back for two weeks, his oxygen levels dropped, but never so low as to need intervention. Both are grateful for vaccinations and boosters, which they feel may have saved his life or at least prevented hospitalization.

Marc admits that he was “slightly worried” heading into this last checkup because of lingering COVID-19 symptoms. But after he and Elizabeth got the good news of “stable” they celebrated.

“When we got home, I poured us each a glass of Moscato (wine) and we danced to some old 45s,” he said. “It was nice.”

Marc, we rejoice with you both that the tumor is “unchanging” and most of all that our God is too.

Jesus Christ never changes! He is the same yesterday, today, and forever. –Hebrews 13:8

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As always, I close with a song by Rich Mullins, Marc and Elizabeth’s favorite Christian artist. This one is called “You’re My One Thing” and based on Matthew 5:8 in the Sermon on the Mount, one of Marc’s favorite passages.

 

 

Jun 29

Are you an “agent of blessing?”

My parents 1952

My mother grew up in the days when gentlemen drove and ladies rode, so she didn’t get behind the wheel of a car until well into her thirties. Fortunately, she loved to walk and I have happy memories of us walking, talking, and playing “Twenty Questions.”

I still love to walk. My jogging days are over, but nearly every day for more than two decades, I have hiked three miles.

Since we moved to a neighborhood with sidewalks seven years ago, my daily steps have been a great way to meet people.

“Are you going to talk to someone today?” my introvert husband asked as I tied my Hoka athletic shoes.

“I never know,” I replied with my extrovert smile.

 

But I do know that I’m praying to be an “agent of blessing.” 

That’s a term I read in a devotional by Chris Tiegreen based on Proverbs 11:11:

“By the blessing of the upright, the city is exalted.”

Here are some answers to my traveling prayer:

A bright, summer morning I saw a forlorn-looking boy sitting on his bicycle blocking the sidewalk. As I got closer, he moved to the grass.

“Thank you–that was really thoughtful of you!”  I told him. ” You are a kind young man. I hope you know God loves you very much. Never forget that!”

He cheerily responded: “Have a nice day!”

One cold afternoon as I approached a middle-aged woman getting off a bus, I remarked: “That red coat is a beautiful color on you!”

She smiled broadly, confessed she was lost, and asked if I could help her find her destination. I Googled it on my phone and pointed out the building to her.

Image by Bryan Clayton from Pixabay

Just today I overheard two lawn care workers speaking Spanish during their water break. I smiled and said, “I have a blessing for you–OK?”

They both nodded yes, while one took out his earbud and the other removed his hat. I spoke the Español blessing I memorized when I traveled to Mexico for the Spanish edition of my first book many years ago: “Les mando mucho saludos y bendiciones en el nombre de Cristo .” *

“Muchas gracias!” was the grinning reply.

The ways God uses me as an agent of blessing may look very different than how He uses you, but I believe each  of us “upright” people can be a blessing-deliverer.

You may not be a talkative people-person like I am, but as Christ-followers, the same Spirit who guides and empowers me lives inside you as well! He will use your distinctive personality and gifts to be an agent of blessing no matter what path you’re on–physically or metaphorically speaking.

You might be at the office offering smiles or compliments to co-workers.

You might be home dishing out warm hugs and delicious dinner to children.

You might be sitting on the couch signing a card of encouragement to a struggling friend.

You might be flat on your back in bed picking up the phone to check on another hurting person.

You even might be in a doctor’s office or chemo room silently praying that healthcare workers and patients see Jesus in you– despite the dread you feel.

We may never know this side of Heaven how our blessing touched another person. But whether our travels are happy or hard, planned or pushed upon us, we can trust God to use us as agents of blessing in a world longing for His loving-kindness. 

* (For my non-Spanish speaking friends, “I bring you many greetings and blessings in the Name of the Christ.”)
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Enjoy the words of the old hymn “Make Me a Blessing.”