Apr 22

What “Granny Clampett” Taught Me about Love

If you’ve ever seen that spunky character Granny Clampett on the old television show The Beverly Hillbillies, you have a pretty good mental picture of my friend Alice. She was about the size of her TV counterpart with long, salt-and-pepper hair pulled back in a tight bun. Her blue eyes danced mischievously despite the fact she was nearing 80.

And from her I learned what God’s love is really like.

Alice’s ramshackle two-story home was on a road I traveled often and occasionally I’d see her outside.  Who is that tiny flannel-clad lady swinging such a big ax?

In the spring of 1995, Alice’s world met mine.

Her older daughter brought her to my Cancer Prayer Support Group meeting. In true Granny Clampett style, Alice didn’t particularly trust strangers and firmly announced that she didn’t know why she had come and wasn’t going to participate. 

But over the ensuing weeks, we all warmed to one another and Alice became like a favorite “granny” to our group. Soon she was suggesting some of her home remedies for the physical woes we experienced:

Soak walnuts in whiskey for a few days to relieve diarrhea.

Nibble on a bit of peach pit for heartburn. “I know they have laetrile in them and it’s poisonous, but it doesn’t hurt me,” she insisted.

For respiratory problems, Alice swore by a mixture of honey, lemon, whiskey, and linseed oil: “If there’s somethin’ down there in your chest, that’ll bring it up!” 

Photo by Vlad Deep on Unsplash

Alice and I developed a special bond because we had the same kind of cancer. Not much else about our lives was the same. 

She had had a tough life, but remembered having felt “a great love for God” when she was only 3. As an adult she took her own three children to church faithfully until their teens.

But then something happened that made Alice feel she wasn’t welcome and she stopped attending. When she came to our support group, it was her first time in decades to set foot inside a church building.

 Every month Alice came to our support-group meeting and occasionally on a Sunday morning, I’d see her sitting in our congregation, smiling at me.

In the spring of 1996 I asked her to be my guest at our church’s Mother-Daughter Banquet. When I picked her up, my jaw dropped…Hair obviously freshly washed and piled in a soft bun. A  bright pink skirt-and-sweater set, accented by a matching jewelry ensemble. Plus a light perfume fragrance. 

“Wow! Do you look beautiful!” I exclaimed. She was beaming now and handed me a crocheted cross bookmark. I told her I would put it my Bible, where I would see it every day and think of her. 

At the banquet, we laughed and even cheered when she won a prize for the oldest mother. 

A few months later Alice was bedridden, nearing death. We read the Psalms together and she announced that she was “ready to go home to God.”

“I love God,” she kept whispering.

“He loves you, too,” I promised her–grateful that she had found her way back to Him.

 

I can’t recall the first time Alice told me “You’re my best friend.” But I do remember feeling embarrassed by her pronouncement, knowing I had done so little for her. I resisted the temptation to protest, thanked her and hugged her frail body close to mine.

I told her I loved her and that she would be my forever friend…It was our last earthly conversation.

And that’s how my friend Alice taught me about “the overwhelming, never-ending reckless love of God…I couldn’t earn it, and I don’t deserve it.”

Excerpted from When GOD & Cancer Meet ©Lynn Eib, 2002
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Be sure to open in your browser to hear “Reckless Love” by Cory Asbury.

Apr 08

Should I “snooze Jesus”?

I don’t know if you’re on Facebook or not, but I have to be honest that much of the time lately I wish I wasn’t.

Don’t get me wrong. I love hearing from readers around the world who have been encouraged by one of my books and take time to let me know and share a little of their story. I love photos of old friends whom I don’t get to see in person often (or maybe ever!). And I love updates from cancer survivors and their families.

But I dislike intensely (that’s the phrase my mother made my brother and me use instead of “hate”) all the political posts, especially those which are not factual. And I really intensely dislike the lack of compassion I see, including from some of my Christian brothers and sisters.

So when a FB friend (not someone I know in “real” life) kept sharing posts which I felt fit both those categories, I decided I did not want to see these popping up in my feed any more. Easy enough, to remedy right?

Well, what I hadn’t really considered was the fact the first part of the “friend’s” online name was “Jesus.” Here are the choices I was given:

 

I’m sorry the photos are a little blurry, but I was laughing so hard when I read the options that I think I shook my phone.

“Snooze”Jesus for a month? Is that like hitting the alarm button, going back to sleep and ignoring Him?”

“Report the post” and they “won’t let Jesus know”? Pretty sure that’s not going to work.

And worst of all: “Unfollow Jesus” but “stay friends?’ Don’t we become friends because we are following Him?

When I finally stopped laughing, I starting seriously thinking about whether I unconsciously have chosen any of these options in my relationship with my Lord Jesus.

And the answer, I’m sorry to say, is yes.

I do “snooze” Him at times as I “ignore” His quiet whispers to spend more time with Him.

I do “see fewer posts” from Him when I skip reading my Bible and play word games instead.

And I always do want to be His friend, but I don’t always choose to follow the way I know He wants me to.

So these are the questions I’m asking myself in these turbulent days: Have I “snoozed”Jesus lately? Am I following Him or a political party? Is His Word prioritized in my day–both reading it and living it? Would the King of Kings give my FB posts a thumbs-up?

I’m finding that more than ever I need to guard what goes into my mind and heart so I can better control what comes out in my words and actions.

Proverbs 4:23-25 offers great wisdom:

Guard your heart above all else, for it determines the course of your life.
Avoid all perverse talk; stay away from corrupt speech.
Look straight ahead, and fix your eyes on what lies before you.

Whatever struggles we face today, Hebrews 12:2 gives us the answer:

And let us run with endurance the race God has set before us.
We do this by keeping our eyes on Jesus, the champion, who initiates and perfects our faith.

Please worship the Lord with this beautiful rendition of “Turn Your Eyes (Jesus We Lift Our Eyes to You) by Sovereign Grace Music. (Open in your browser to play the music video.)

 

 

Mar 25

“Do one thing every day that scares you.”

First Lady Eleanor Roosevelt

I love this quote attributed to Eleanor Roosevelt.* I can only imagine how many “scary” things this First Lady had to do each day. She was described as a shy child, orphaned by age 10. Later her husband, Franklin D. Roosevelt, was stricken with polio, necessitating her expanded role in his political career.

Eventually she became the first First Lady to speak out on political and humanitarian issues, for which she was both strongly criticized and enthusiastically praised. I wonder if she woke up each day reminding herself: Do one thing today that scares you.

I’d like to suggest that today the scariest thing God may be calling you–and me–to do is to “be still” and trust Him.

Let me explain by sharing a great story in 2 Chronicles 20 about a scared Jewish king named Jehoshaphat. He was told that some powerful armies were coming to attack Jerusalem and his reaction was not atypical from what ours might have been—he “was terrified”!

Jehoshaphat “begged the Lord for guidance” and God answered by sending His Spirit to speak through one of the king’s men who announced:

 “This is what the Lord says: Do not be afraid! Don’t be discouraged by this mighty army, for the battle is not yours, but God’s. Tomorrow, march out against them. You will find them coming up through the ascent of Ziz at the end of the valley that opens into the wilderness of Jeruel. But you will not even need to fight. Take your positions; then stand still and watch the Lord’s victory. He is with you, O people of Judah and Jerusalem. Do not be afraid or discouraged. Go out against them tomorrow, for the Lord is with you!” (2 Chronicles 20:15-17)

The king and his people agreed to “fear not”—instead they believed God’s message and began to worship Him, praise Him, and sing to Him. At the very moment they did this, the Bible says God caused the approaching armies to fight amongst themselves and kill each other! The Israelites won the battle without a fight because God fought for them. 

Logically, standing still does not sound like a good way to win a battle. But then God’s ways are not always our ways, are they? The armies coming against Jehoshaphat were way too large and powerful to be defeated by the king and his men. The situation was hopeless from their perspective—but it was hope-filled from God’s vantage point.

One of the most difficult admonitions in Scripture for me to follow is Psalm 46:10: “Be still and know that I am God.” I’m not very good at being patiently still.

The word translated “still” in Psalm 46:10 is the Hebrew word harpu. I’m no Hebrew scholar, but I did some research and found it conveys the idea of letting go or ceasing to act. It’s the opposite of striving with our arms up, ready to fight or defend ourselves.

I think that at times we need to quit striving, acknowledge our fears, surrender the fight to God and prayerfully release His power to work in the situation.

So go ahead and do one thing today that might scare you: trust the Lord and be still–even when it doesn’t seem to make sense.

(This post is excerpted and adapted from Peace in the Face of Cancer, copyright Lynn Eib 2017.)

* Widely attributed to Eleanor Roosevelt (including in a 2013 book by the same name), I could not verify any original sources. The earliest verifiable print source appears to be a June 1997 Chicago Tribune advice column by Mary Schmich. But even if Mrs. Roosevelt didn’t utter this sentiment, I think she lived it!
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Open in your browser to hear the song I’ve been listening to every morning in the face of discouraging, seemingly hopeless circumstances: “Be Still and Know” with CeCe Winans.

 

 

Mar 11

Are you as contented as a 2-year-old?

A dozen years ago I was on our deck serving an early morning breakfast to my oldest grandchild, Bauer, 2½. Thanks to my husband’s green thumb, the deck was bursting with beautiful blooms and as I stumbled around, chiding my foggy brain to wake up, little Bauer let out a small toddler sigh.

“It’s lovely out here,” he said with a sweet smile. “We have everything we need.”

Ah, contentment.

A bowl of multigrain Cheerios with milk, a Lightning McQueen sippy cup of juice, the beauty of nature, and a day with grandma—what more could you possibly want?

Maybe a clear PET scan? Perhaps a day without turmoil? How about not struggling with depression? No more medicine side-effects would be nice. An insurance company that didn’t balk at paying for what the doctor ordered would be really great.

It’s difficult to have childlike contentment when we live in a grown-up world where in the U.S. alone, a new cancer diagnosis is made every 30 seconds and  someone is identified with Alzheimer’s every 65 seconds. On top of those sobering statistics, every second the political fight rages around us seemingly unabated.

It’s not easy to find contentment while watching ourselves or a loved one deal with  physical/emotional/mental assault.

I remember many years ago, our dear friends, Don and Jean, found their world turned upside down when she was diagnosed with inoperable, stage 4 non-small cell  lung cancer. The retired schoolteachers frantically began searching for contentment.

“I was shocked,” she told me at the time. “I thought I was too healthy to get cancer. I was doing all the ‘right’ things to be a healthy person—never smoking, eating right, exercising, weight control, regular checkups and all that.”

After that frightening diagnosis, both Don and Jean tried to live in the moment, but the admonition to “take one day at a time” was “the opposite” of their teaching careers.

“As teachers we always had to look ahead and plan for another day,” they explained.

Learning to live one day at a time—and live it to the fullest (like contentedly watching a Maine vacation sunset)—was not an easy task.

“I think both of us in our own way just turned this whole thing over to God,” Don recalled. “For me it was putting total faith in His plan—knowing it’s a perfect plan—even if I didn’t understand it all.”

I’ve thought often about my grandson’s contented sentiment, especially mornings when I sit down with my to-do list, ready to organize everything that I think needs to be done that day! Sometimes I pause, smile to myself and say: “It’s lovely here and we have everything we need.”

Perhaps that’s a sentiment with which you could start your day?  The words of a toddler could be described as childish, but if you have total faith in a loving God, they can become childlike trust.

I remember that peaceful feeling when my newly delivered, just-nursed firstborn slept in my arms. All the hours of terrible back labor and exhaustion were forgotten. The future still was unknown, but with the psalmist I could say:

 

Of one thing I am certain: my soul has become calm, quiet, and contented in You.
Like a weaned child resting upon his mother, I am quiet. 
Psalm 131:2 The Voice Bible

And on this promise I still can rest:

Keep your lives free from the love of money and be content with what you have, because God has said,
“Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.” Hebrews 13:5

 It is lovely here in my soul and with God I have everything I need.
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Please open in your browser to hear the music video “If I Got Jesus” by Ben Fuller. (I liked the words and music so much, I decided to ignore the grammar mistakes! 🙂 )

Feb 25

Anyone need a “One-Minute Pause?”

I know those of you reading this blog have many burdens on your hearts. Some for friends and family. Some for crises you’ve heard or read about. And others for situations which haven’t even happened, but you fear they will.

Me, too.

And sometimes it feels overwhelming.

That’s why I’m so thankful I came across bestselling author and counselor John Eldredge’s “everyday practices for a world gone mad.”

“You’ve got to release the world…people, crises, trauma, intrigue, all of it,” Eldredge advises. “There has to be sometime in your day where you just let it all go. All the tragedy of the world, the heartbreak, the latest shooting, earthquake–the soul was never meant to endure this…It’s way too much. Your soul is finite. You cannot carry the sorrows of the world. Only God can do that. Only He is infinite.”

When I first read those words, I felt such relief. All of the day’s sad/disturbing/painful stories were too much for my soul to bear.  And that was ok because it’s not my job to bear them.

“Somewhere, sometime in your day, you’ve just got to release it,” Eldredge adds. “You’ve got to let it go.”

We do that, he says, by stopping throughout the day for a “One-Minute Pause” as we pray:

“I give everyone and everything to You, God.”

I love how The Message Bible paraphrases the call of Jesus to lay down our burdens:

Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you’ll recover your life.
I’ll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it.
Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you.
Keep company with me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly.
Matthew 11:28-30

Eldredge describes the One-Minute Pause as an invitation to “benevolent detachment,” which is the ability to let things go–“not so much physically, but emotionally, soulfully.”

It’s not a call to stop caring, but to surrender all those cares to the One who ultimately is in control.

This releasing of our heartfelt concerns to God helps clear out our “cluttered soul,” Eldredge explains.

It’s a “turning over into the hands of God whatever is burdening us and leaving it there,” he adds.

We empty our souls of the burdens we never were meant to carry and the Lord fills our souls with what we always really needed: Himself.

Go ahead and breathe deeply. Then take a One-Minute Pause to pray:

I give everyone and everything to You, Lord.

Then pray it again every time you find yourself trying to carry the burdens your soul never was meant to bear.

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Please open in your browser to hear  “Come to Me (The Rest Song)” by Steven and Hannah Musso. (Click on CC at the bottom for Closed Caption lyrics.)

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