Category: strength

Given No Hope–Alive and Well 50 Years Later

 

“There is something you must always remember.
You are braver than you believe, and stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think.”
Christopher Robin to Winnie‑the‑Pooh in Pooh’s Most Grand Adventure

I love these words of encouragement from one best friend to another. They were the sentiment of a life-changing pep talk given to me in high school by my dear friend Cecil, who is the first person I knew who survived cancer.

We met in a speech class in the fall of 1968. I was a junior and he was a sophomore at Victor Valley High, where he was without a doubt the best orator. When he chose me to be his debate partner, I was thrilled. I didn’t know that the year before he had been diagnosed with fibrosarcoma (a rare cancer of the soft tissue), only that he always had a large Band-Aid on his forehead and that its self-described “flesh” color did not match his black skin. 

I’m not sure if either one of us ever used the “C” word. In the sixties, cancer was something adults whispered about and doctors tried to keep from patients’ knowledge.

“Why do you always wear a Band-Aid?” I naively asked him one day.

“Because I’m very embarrassed about my scars” was his quiet reply.

The scars were the result of multiple surgeries—beginning when he was fifteen—to try to cut away the cancer and extend his life.

“The fibrosarcoma was eating through my skull,” Cecil explained as we chatted on the phone about this chapter.

Back then chemotherapy was in its infancy, and radiation therapy couldn’t possibly be safely aimed at a patient’s head, so his doctors simply sliced away, waited for the cancer to grow back, and then cut it out again.

By the fall of 1968, doctors were so pessimistic about Cecil’s future, they recommended he drop out of high school. “Once it hits the optic nerve, it will go right to the brain. Go home and don’t even worry about school anymore,” they advised.

But Cecil had other plans.

“Not only am I going to go back to school, I’m going to graduate,” he told them. “And not only am I going to graduate, I’m going to go to college. And not only am I going to go to college, I’m going to go to the best college!” he defiantly added.

His equally strong-willed mother approved, saying, “If you want to go back to school, it’s fine with me. I don’t want you to just lie down and die.”

So Cecil went to school, ran track, and played basketball and football, wearing a customized helmet to protect his forehead as he darted downfield with the ball. (Bet that wouldn’t be allowed these days!) Just about every Saturday for the next two years, we were together at a speech meet or a debate competition, eventually becoming the first students from our school to make it to the speech state championships.

But in the summer of 1970, right after I graduated, Cecil’s cancer came back, and more surgery ensued. The hole in Cecil’s forehead was getting rather large, so doctors stitched his left forearm to his forehead for six weeks in an attempt to graft skin there. However, in the fall of 1970, the relentless cancer returned.

Surgeons wanted to operate again and now sew his right arm to his head, but his mother refused. She moved him to another hospital, ignoring the doctor’s warning that if she did he’d be “dead in two weeks.”

Physicians at the new hospital did the same kind of surgery, without stitching his arm to his head. At Cecil’s first recheck, they were pleasantly surprised the cancer had not returned. Three months later, they were shocked to find no sign of it. Three more cancer-free months later, they were speechless.

“We can’t take any credit for this, because we didn’t do anything different from the other doctors,” they told the then-eighteen-year-old Cecil. “The fibrosarcoma was like a runaway freight train on a dry, straight track, and it just stopped. In medicine we call it a spontaneous remission.”

Cecil finished high school, serving as student body president, and went on to graduate with honors from Harvard University, where he played football, ran track, and coached the debate team. As I write, he is a sixty-three-year-old longtime university law professor with many accolades and former students across the country who say his teaching expertise and friendship changed their lives.

“Despite all the dark predictions, I’m alive and doing just fine,” he says. “I believe to this day that God healed me despite all the gloom and doom. And it has never come back because He had other plans for me.”

I’m so grateful that meeting Cecil was part of God’s plan for my life. Before we participated in our first debate meet, I was scared and not at all confident in my speaking and writing abilities. I felt insecure because I was the youngest in my class (I graduated at sixteen) and because my father’s job had forced me to twice move midyear to new high schools. But Cecil shared words very similar to Christopher Robin’s with me, and I took them to heart. And as they say, the rest is history.

When we face the trials of life. including cancer, we discover the incredible strength of the human spirit as we do things we never thought we could. But I hope you also are discovering that the greatness of God is the reason you are braver, stronger, and smarter than you realized.

Find a mirror, look straight into it, and tell yourself: “I am braver than I believe. I am stronger than I seem. I am smarter than I think. God is much greater than I can imagine.”

And then share those words today with someone else who needs to hear them. You never know how God may use them to change a life.

(If the music video doesn’t automatically load, please use this link https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cb4o4lN0c_E&list=RDCb4o4lN0c_E&t=23 )

Can ANYTHING else go wrong???

 

If I believed in a “technology curse” (which I don’t), I would be convinced someone had put one on me! Allow me to recap the past few months of my life with technology:

  • My cell phone Apple ID was all screwed up sending me dozens of error messages everyday. And after many, many hours of phone conversations with Apple customer service (“I’ve never seen anything like this!”) and callbacks from supervisors and senior technicians (“I don’t know why that didn’t fix it.”), I had to reset my phone to factory default twice. That did not solve the problem, so my youngest daughter spent five hours on the phone with Apple as they completely wiped out my phone (“We think we should be able to get the data back.”)
  • The phone wipeout solved the Apple ID problem, but I lost all my messages, voicemails and about 50 contacts, the latter of which had to be recovered from a corrupted backup I had to install on an old iPhone and then manually enter into my clean phone (another three-hour total process!)
  • Meanwhile problems with my website and WordPress blog which began last September continued. Blogs no longer posted to Facebook and I had to manually go through several steps each week to make it happen. My WordPress would seem to be working fine and then after about two hours of writing, I could no longer save anything. That meant no more adding anything or changing anything–even if the blog wasn’t done. Sometimes I could add a photo from the library and sometimes not. Once in a while I could insert a YouTube music video, but not usually.
  • During these “cursed” months, I attempted to fix the mounting problems: engaged a second webmaster to try and solve the issues; got help from a tech at my publisher; switched to a larger, faster server; upgraded my internet speed; and replaced my aging PC with my first Mac.

I sat down last Monday ready to write because I was SURE all my efforts (and prayers!) had solved my problems, but instead things went from bad to worse. An error message appeared informing me that my website “could not be found.” And sure enough, it was true–my website and my admin login page to reach it were gone–vanished into cyberspace.

Fighting back tears, I contacted my new server and discovered they had taken down the site because when my files were transferred from my old server, 100+ infected pages were discovered. Customer service assured me that my website was not really gone, but had to be cleaned up.

Twelve hours and $200 later, my new security company had “disinfected” my site and it was up and running. Since then I’ve spent another 8-10 hours implementing most of the recommended security measures (not quite done yet). As of this writing, WordPress seems to be working fine although I still cannot post to Facebook.

And did I mention that the same day my website “disappeared,” my husband came down with the flu replete with a horrible, hacking cough? While I struggled all week to follow instructions written in technical jargon way above my pay grade, I couldn’t get a sympathy hug, a de-stressing neck massage or even talk to him because any vocalizing brought on a new coughing fit. (My dearest friends for the past week have been Lysol spray and Clorox disinfecting wipes!)

And why in the world am I telling you all this? Partly because I thought it might be good therapy for me and cheaper than actual counseling 🙂 but mainly because I want to say that: GOD IS GOOD.

Most of the time people utter that phrase when things have gone well–a good CT scan, improved blood counts, successful surgery, disappearance of side effects. We tend to say “God is good” when our prayer has been answered the way we hoped it would.

But that’s not the message of scripture. The Bible says that God is good ALL the time.

Psalm 145:8,9 The LORD is gracious and compassionate, slow to anger and rich in love. The LORD is good to all; He has compassion on all He has made.

Psalm 119:68 You are good and do only good; teach me your decrees.

Psalm 34:8 Taste and see that the LORD is good; blessed is the one who takes refuge in Him.

We tend to think God is good when disaster has been averted or circumstances improve, but God is good even when disaster strikes and circumstances do not get better. All of God’s attributes–including His goodness–are present all the time.

  • He is good when your phone has to be wiped out.
  • He is good when your blog doesn’t work.
  • He is good when your website disappears.
  • He is good when your husband has the flu just when you really need him.
  • He is good when the cancer recurs.
  • He is good when the pain doesn’t stop.
  • He is good when…you fill in the blank based on your day (week, month or year!)

The Old Testament prophet Habakkuk understood this truth:

Even though the fig trees have no blossoms,
    and there are no grapes on the vines;
even though the olive crop fails,
    and the fields lie empty and barren;
even though the flocks die in the fields,
    and the cattle barns are empty,
yet I will rejoice in the Lord!
    I will be joyful in the God of my salvation!
The Sovereign Lord is my
strength!
Habakkuk 3:17-19a

We see the goodness of God when we remember that He loved us so much He allowed His only Son’s prayers to go unanswered (Luke 22:42) in order to save our souls and make sure this trial-filled life is not all there is for us. And until that day we are set free from all our struggles (I’m positive there is no technology in Heaven), He gives us strength through His Holy Spirit to face each day.

Yes, God IS good all the time!

Isn’t There a Faster Way to Wait?

“Why does it take so long to get back my blood work?”

“I have to hang on the whole weekend for the test results?”

“What do you mean the doctor can’t see me until next week?”

“This waiting is killing me!”

Ever moaned any of these phrases? I sure have. I once made the mistake of scheduling a barium enema test on a Friday. I thought I would have ulcers by the time I finally got the results on Monday. I jumped every time the phone rang and worried every time it didn’t. black-and-white-woman-girl-sitting.jpg

The first few years after I finished chemo, I used to call and talk to the nurses prior to each of my follow-ups so I could get my tumor marker results before I went in for my appointment. I just couldn’t stand to wait.

When I have to wait, my mind begins to wander, the bad little voice of fear starts to pipe up, and I usually begin to think the worst.

A few months after I finished my chemo, I had a CT scan for some terrible abdominal pain I was experiencing. The technician asked me to wait twice while she conferred with another medical person and came back and took more pictures. Each time she came back in the little room and looked at me I became more and more convinced she looked sadder. I should have realized she probably felt sorry for me in my pitiful little blue paper gown, but instead I surmised I must be going to get terrible news.

Finally when she came back in for the third time—even though I knew she wasn’t allowed to say anything about the scan—I blurted out: “Please tell me what’s wrong. I know it must be really bad. Just tell me, I can’t stand this waiting anymore!”

She looked rather puzzled and reassured me that the only thing wrong was that the pictures were not quite clear enough so she had to take another set. I felt better for a moment and then decided she probably was paid to say that to everyone.

I went home and waited for the call from my family physician. When it came, my fear that a new tumor was obstructing my bowel was quickly put to rest. Instead I was told that I needed to take a laxative!

I am convinced that those of us who are planners, who like to be prepared and who relish being in control, make the worst “wait-ers” on the face of the earth. Waiting prevents us from planning, impedes us from being fully prepared, and thwarts our attempt to be absolutely in control of the present as well as the future.

Waiting is a common theme throughout the Bible—after God miraculously freed the Israelites from slavery in Egypt, they waited in the desert for forty years before He allowed them to enter the Promised Land. Jacob waited fourteen years to marry his beloved Rachel after he was tricked into virtual slave labor by his future father-in-law. The disciples of Jesus waited three very long, agonizing days for Him to rise from the dead.

Often when we wait we become discouraged and are tempted to give up. The Israelites whined and moaned during most of their forty years of waiting. Jacob was furious when he discovered that his father-in-law had tricked him into marrying Rachel’s older sister and he would have to work another seven years to marry Rachel. Following Jesus’ crucifixion, the disciples gave up right away and were already back fishing before His resurrection.

When you’re waiting, I have some advice for you. It’s the same advice I tell myself when things are taking too long. Don’t give up. Give in . . . to God.

Go ahead and put yourself at His mercy. That’s where you already are anyway. You might as well as admit it, because when you do then you can start to experience the transforming power that waiting can have on our character.

Don’t get confused. It’s not that the waiting itself changes us—otherwise we all would be pretty wonderful people. After all, everybody has to wait sometimes! But it’s how we respond to the waiting that can be transforming.

I love how author-pastor Rick Warren explains in The Purpose-Driven Life that godly characteristics—things like love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness, and self-control— are developed in our lives when we are put in situations in which we are tempted to respond exactly the opposite way.

Patience “is developed in circumstances in which we’re forced to wait and are tempted to be angry or have a short fuse,” Warren writes.

I put this principle into practice one day while I braked for yet another red light on my hurried lunch-hour errand trip. I looked straight at the light, smiled, and said out loud to myself: “I am not waiting for a traffic signal. I am being conformed into the image of Jesus!”

The declaration made me laugh out loud. But I’ll tell you; it was a wonderfully freeing moment. I didn’t squirm waiting for the light to change. I wasn’t frustrated that I wasn’t making good time. I just sat there and enjoyed the presence of God, which supernaturally settled over me.

Try it yourself.

I am not waiting for test results. I am learning to depend more on God.

I am not waiting for a doctor to call me back. I am learning to be patient as God is patient with me.

I am not waiting in cancer’s shadow; I am becoming more like Jesus.

There is no faster way to wait, but there is a better way.

A Simple Way to be Healthier in 2018

So are you one of many people trying to eat healthier in the New Year? I’ve seen  quite pexels-photo-264537a few Facebook posts touting various plans: Whole 30, Clean-Eating, Volumetrics, Eat This Not That, and the 3-Day Military Diet, to name a few.

Or are you one of the scores of folks aiming to exercise into a healthier 2018? I found all these fitness routines recommended on Pinterest: 30-day Butt and Gut Challenge; 25-minute Treadmill Hilt Workout; Sweat Your Way through the Alphabet; Guns, Buns & Abs Challenge; and Low Angle View of Woman Relaxing on Beach Against Blue Skyeven the Victoria Secret Full Body Workout. (I don’t even think I want to know what that last one entails!)

Healthy eating makes very good sense to me and I tried to practice it right up until I got diagnosed in 1990 with stage 3 colon cancer at the age of 36! In addition to my careful cuisine back then, I belonged to the local “Y” and exercised for 90 minutes three times a week. So I’m the first person to admit that eating well and exercising do NOT guarantee a healthy, long life. But, I’m here 27 cancer-free years later so I’m NOT about to say my lifestyle didn’t help either.

But we all know we are more than just flesh and bones. Each of us is a spiritual being as well. And we can’t really separate our body, mind and spirit. Each one affects the other. What we put into our bodies can affect our minds and spirits (like how your mind feels after drinking too much caffeine or how a dark chocolate Dove bar seems to make the day seem brighter?).

What we allow into our minds  can influence how our bodies and spirits feel (like how I have trouble falling asleep after watching a scary movie or can’t relax right after an exciting late-night football game).

And the condition of our spirit can affect our mind and body as well (like how I get a headache when my trust with a friend has been betrayed).

A holistic approach to good health is, I believe, crucial for wellness. But it can be difficult to be strong in spirit when we don’t feel well in body or mind. Mental stress, physical fatigue or pain can discourage and/or depress even the best of us.

That’s why its so crucial to care and “feed” all our parts. It’s pretty obvious that our bodies need the right food (and that Ben & Jerry’s Cherry Garcia ice cream does not count as a fruit serving!). They also need the right rest (listen to your body if it’s telling you to take a nap!). And they need the right exercise (reaching in and out of a potato chip does not count as repetitive arm curls!).

It’s clear we can feed our minds by filling them with such things as soothing music, positive thoughts (like good blogs!) and mental stimulation. But how do we feed out spirits?

It’s actually very simple, and unlike organic foods and fancy gym memberships, it’s free. As you read the Word of God and truths about His Word, you are supplying the Free stock photo of business, cross, shadow, religionnourishment your spirit needs. You can access Bibles and inspirational daily readings through sites and free apps like https://www.biblegateway.com/ and https://www.youversion.com/ . You can even sign up for no-cost Bible plans on a variety of topics designed to encourage and empower you in everyday life.

Even if serious or chronic illness makes it difficult for you to strengthen your body some days, don’t ever let your spirit go hungry–feed it everyday with God’s Word and you will be strong in spirit.

Dear friend, I hope all is well with you and that you are as healthy in body as you are strong in spirit. —3 John 1:2

 

 

 

 

What do you want MORE of in 2018?

 
My 3-year-old granddaughter Abby is not the world’s best sleeper.

Image may contain: 1 person, eating, sitting, child, food and indoor

She’s not the worst either, but definitely not as good as her brothers, ages 1 and 5. In  fact she’s quite the master of “stalling” at bedtime and/or “needing” things in the middle of the night. You may be  familiar with the toddlers’ universal “necessities” list: potty, drink, doll, stuffed animal, nightlight, book, blanket, socks etc.

But Abby has upped this game to a new level as she cries out in the wee hours of the morning and Mommy appears and asks the sensible question: “What do you need, Abby?” To which this adorable child sweetly replies: “More Jesus.”

Check and checkmate–Abby wins hands down. I mean no matter what time it is and how tired you are, how does anyone say no to “more Jesus”?

In case you’re wondering, what Abby specifically is requesting– it’s for her mommy to sing the bedtime ritual melody “Jesus Loves Me” one more time. (Often she even will add her tiny voice to the chorus.)

The kid is a genius. I would want to give her “more Jesus” any time day or night.

Of course Abby’s hard-to-deny request got me thinking about what do I want MORE of in 2018? (I can definitely think of some things I want LESS of–pounds, wrinkles, gray hair, and sagging, just to name a few!) But what do I hope there was MORE of?

Certainly more good health for all of you fighting cancer and other serious/chronic illnesses. Definitely more comfort for those who are grieving the loss of loved ones. Clearly more love for families torn apart by the pain of addictions, divorce and abuse. And absolutely more peace for this violent world.

But when it comes right down to it, I think I’ll pray that you and I have more Jesus this year. 

I pray that from His glorious, unlimited resources He will empower you with inner strength through His Spirit. Then Christ will make His home in your hearts as you trust in Him. Your roots will grow down into God’s love and keep you strong. And may you have the power to understand as all God’s people should, how wide, how long, how high, and how deep His love is. May you experience the love of Christ, though it is too great to understand fully. —Ephesians 3:16-19a

And when you can’t fall asleep or when you wake up in the middle of the night, perhaps you will choose to echo my little granddaughter’s request: More Jesus.