Category: peace

Jun 04

Restoring What the Locusts Have Eaten

This is the story of one woman’s pain, her mistakes, and her grief. But it’s especially the story of how God redeemed her heartaches…and her soul.

My dear friend Carmen grew up with an angry, abusive father, whom her mother divorced when Carmen was about 11 or 12. As she looks back on her rough childhood, she believes she suffered from undiagnosed clinical depression from her teens through early adulthood.

“I remember being tired, bored, lonely, and feeling nothing really made me happy,” she recalls.

Eventually she met a handsome star athlete as she was moving into her dorm at Temple University in Philly. They quickly were in a “serious dating relationship,” but before long, he “cheated” on her.

“My depression became worse and I internalized all the hurt,” Carmen says. “I thought the only way out of the pain was to end my life.

“That was the first attempt to take my life and then I compounded the problem by marrying him,” she acknowledges.

The second suicide attempt came after her new husband continued to stray.

“I tried to end my life again, but God wouldn’t have it,” Carmen remembers. “Even then, God had a bigger purpose for my life.”

The infidelity pain was compounded by two tragedies: Before the couple married in 1985, a baby boy born without kidneys who survived a mere 16 hours; then another son born in 1986 with multiple birth defects, who lived only 16 months.

Carmen was devastated.

Renea & Carmen

“I was so angry with God I went to see my friend Renea, who talked about knowing God–and I wanted some answers!,” she recalls. “I always thought she was the best friend and that she would be a really great friend if she’s just quit talking about Jesus!”

But when Carmen took her angry questions to her friend, “she gently and kindly told me about Jesus–a real Savior who wanted a relationship with me.”

The two women, friends since teenagers, started going to worship together, and Carmen still remembers the pastor’s sermon which changed her life. It was the story in 2 Chronicles 20 where the Israelites prayed and “raised a hallelujah,” and God made a way where there seemed to be no way.

“For the first time, the Word of God actually made sense to me,” Carmen says. “I went down front (of the sanctuary) and gave my life to the Lord on January 31, 1988.”

“Since then it has been a beautiful adventure,” she says, “I was miraculously healed of the depression and when my husband cheated on me again, I didn’t blame myself because I knew I was a child of God!

“I looked up and said ‘I deserve better than this!’ and that gave me the strength to leave him.”

Fast-forward to August 1997 when a co-worker introduced Carmen to his friend Greg. It was another whirlwind romance, but Carmen was not the same person.

“My criteria was a husband who loved God even more than he loved me, and I found one,” she explains.

Carmen’s recent 60th birthday party

The couple married in March 1998 and have since adopted two children, son Quinn (now 16) from Ethiopia and daughter Makenzie (now 11) born in the States.

“God has restored everything that was taken from me,” Carmen says. “He completely healed my broken heart over my babies and He’s given me two beautiful children and a wonderful husband…this is a testimony of what God has done!”

No wonder one of Carmen’s favorite verses is Joel 2:25:

I will restore to you the years the locusts have eaten.

Carmen has been in my weekly women’s Bible study for almost four years and our group was shocked to learn of the heartaches she has faced, as she is known for her beautiful, glowing smile.

“It’s joy!,” she told us. “It’s not happiness; before I was seeking happiness and now I have JOY!

“I don’t share my story so you will feel sorry for me, but because I want you to know the miracle of God,” she explains. “I know God is real!”

As an adult, Carmen forgave and reconciled with her dad and they had many good years together before his death in 2005.

“He was just a flawed human being in need of forgiveness, just like the rest of us,” she explains. “And like my favorite song says: May my whole life prove that God is good.”

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Please open in your browser so you don’t miss Carmen’s favorite song, “God is Good” by Jonathan McReynolds. “The first time I heard it, I just broke down,” she says.

May 07

Absolutely Beating the Odds

My friend Bill Shrieves, 77,  always has been an overachiever.

A while back he and his wife bought a new in-home care franchise, rapidly growing it into a large, profitable venture. In his younger days, he completed the Marine Corps Marathon three times and just to prove he still could, did it again when he turned 70.

No wonder he decided he could survive a stage 4 pancreatic cancer diagnosis.

“I never really thought I was going to die,” Bill told me after we met last month at my “Morning of Hope” seminar on Maryland’s Eastern Shore.

The medical pronouncement of get-ready-to-die came in January 2011.

Yes, you read that right. As of this writing, Bill is a 13.5-year survivor of pancreatic cancer spread to the liver, making him once again in an elite group as the 5-year survival rate for stage 4 pancreatic is only 1-3%.

Bill’s journey began in November 2010 when an episode of dark urine led him to urgent care where at the age of 64 he was diagnosed with a pancreatic tumor.

The day before Thanksgiving he was at the University of Maryland, Baltimore for surgery called a Whipple procedure which removed the head of the pancreas, the first part of the small intestine, the gallbladder, and the bile duct.  (Only about 20-percent of pancreatic patients are eligible for a Whipple.)

Bill applied to a clinical trial for his post-op treatment, but a CT scan two months after surgery revealed bad news: he no longer was eligible for the trial because the cancer had metastasized to a handful of liver lesions.

“My oncologist told me ‘get your affairs in order because you probably won’t live until the end of the year’.”

Bill started a regimen called FOLFIRINOX, which combines three chemo drugs and a vitamin-B derivative to enhance their efficacy. By mid-March all the lesions except one were gone and in July it, too, disappeared.

After eleven rounds of chemo, Bill’s doctor followed him with scans for several years, but “at the 10-year mark my oncologist fired me!” Bill recalled with a laugh.

However, well before Bill hit that amazing 10-year mark, he was back to achieving again, and in 2013 founded a small nonprofit called Mid-Shore Pancreatic Cancer Foundation midshorepancan.org

“I really wanted to have an impact on pancreatic cancer patients locally,” he explained.

About 15 volunteers offer practical support to maybe a dozen patients each year, and talk or correspond with dozens more around the world who need encouragement. Funds are raised through evening 5K runs at a local golf course.

“We do things like pay bills for them–we even bought a set of false teeth for a lady!,” Bill said.

I asked him why he thinks he has survived when doctors and statistics said he would not.

“I do think optimism is an important thing and I also have a strong faith in God,” said Bill, who along with his wife Jean of 57 years, has two children, three grandchildren, and two great-grands.

“Every day I ask myself why God spared me and what am I supposed to do today,” he added. “I don’t know how someone can face a potentially life-ending illness without faith.”

(For more encouraging pancreatic cancer survivor stories, go to https://pancan.org/stories/)

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Bill loves gospel music and he and Jean attend a small African-American church where they are the only  white folks. The song “Heaven is Looking Down on Me” is one he enjoys hearing his church’s men’s choir sing. So open in your browser, sit back, and be blessed by The Canton Spirituals’ rendition.

Apr 23

The Day I Shook the Hand of “The Greatest”

Would you believe I shook hands with and received a mini-apology from boxing legend Muhammad Ali, a.k.a “The Greatest”?

In 1970, when I was a college freshman, my best friend Jackie and I went to hear Ali speak at the Mansfield branch campus of THE Ohio State University. We were excited, so we arrived early and sat in the front row. The person introducing the former heavyweight boxing champion presented a framed, oil painting of the Champ.

Ali looked around to see where he could safely set down the very large piece and motioned for me to come forward. I jumped up and took the portrait from him as he loudly announced: “Thanks, I always wanted a white slave!”

I thought it was a hilarious comment, but after his speech, Ali sought me out, extended his right hand, and said, “You knew I was just kidding, right?” And then the hand that would punch the likes of Sonny Liston, George Foreman, and Joe Frazier warmly clasped mine.

True story.

In 1984 Ali announced he had Parkinson’s disease, and if you watched that incredible moment at the 1996 Atlanta Olympics when he shakily lit the torch, you could see what a painful turn the former Olympic gold medalist’s life had taken https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HxUSzcp4h5k

Before his death in 2016 Ali advised: “Don’t count the days; make the days count.”

My beautiful friend Georgia, https://georgiashaffer.com author, credentialed Christian life coach and survivor of four cancers–including stage 4 lung–shares a similar philosophy: “Life is a gift, so what am I going to do with it?…Live it purposefully and passionately, and make the time I do have count!”

Good thing Georgia didn’t “count” her days after the lung cancer diagnosis as she’s alive and healthy 11 years later!

If you or someone you love has received a life-threatening diagnosis–or like me, you are noticing more wrinkles in the mirror–you’re face-to-face with your own mortality.

And if a physician has told you that your days or your loved one’s days are numbered, I hope you are not trying to count them. Do not embrace those longevity guesses and allow them to become self-fulfilling prophecies. (I’ve lost count of the scores of cancer survivors I know who have outlasted medical predictions and weren’t “supposed to be here.”)

I hope you’ll ask yourself what you care deeply about and then allow that love to nurture your spirit and give you hope. If you have regrets, make amends where necessary and be thankful for the God of second chances. Seek out and enjoy the things that help you feel God’s peaceful presence.

The Bible says we ought to learn to “number” our days, but that doesn’t mean we should try to figure how many we have left. Instead, we should realize that every person—sick or well—has a limited supply. Illness and aging do us a favor when they remind us that however long we live on earth, it’s a blink compared to eternity.

Eternal One, let me understand my end
 and how brief my earthly existence is;
help me realize my life is fleeting.
—Psalm 39:4, The Voice Bible

Teach us to realize the brevity of life,
 so that we may grow in wisdom.
—Psalm 90:12 NLT

Nobody really knows how many rounds we have left in us, but as long as you have this day, there’s no reason to throw in the towel. Ask God how you can make this day count in your life, in the life of someone you love, and for eternity.

Partially excerpted from Peace in the Face of Cancer, Tyndale Momentum, ©2017 Lynn Eib.
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Please open in your browser to hear the video “God of All My Days” by Casting Crowns. 

Apr 09

Incurable Cancer and God’s Goodness

If you ask my dear friend Pat Magness what’s getting her through a nearly three-year journey with incurable cancer–and remission from it–she will tell you: God’s goodness and Lee’s encouragement.

Both God and husband Lee were in Pat’s life long before the sobering diagnosis, but her love for each has grown much deeper.

Pat and Lee, college sweethearts and retired college professors, have been avid travelers for all their 57 years of marriage–visiting about 50 countries.

But their cancer journey has been the most difficult they’ve ever faced.

“I was diagnosed in July 2021, but I had terrible back pain for months,” Pat recalls, “so I knew something was really wrong.”

An MRI finally revealed the problem: two spinal fractures.

She was directed immediately to another hospital for emergency  surgery to stabilize her back and avoid any paralysis. Meanwhile, Lee was admitted to a different hospital with a “scary” cellulitis (bacterial skin infection)!

Pat’s extensive blood work and bone marrow biopsy revealed the culprit was multiple myeloma: a blood cancer that develops in bone marrow plasma cells.

With two short rods implanted in her spine, Pat left the hospital in a fitted back brace she wore for three months.

When both were released from their hospitals, they spent the next month with younger son Ethan and his family, who live in the same town.

“We had been independent, traveling the world and all of a sudden we couldn’t even take care of ourselves in our own home,” Pat explains.

Chemo began shortly and the cancer responded almost immediately. Soon doctors were discussing a stem cell transplant, even though at 74 Pat normally would be considered “too old.”

Vanderbilt-Ingram Cancer Center decided Pat was a good candidate for the procedure, designed to restore the body’s ability to produce new blood cells after treatment with the very high chemo doses.

A transplant is an ordeal lasting several weeks and includes constant monitoring and high risk of infection. Pat and Lee stayed at a nearby apartment and every day Lee insisted they walk back and forth to the center.

“It got really tough,” Pat remembers. “I would say ‘I don’t think I can do that’ and Lee would encourage me to try. We walked every day for six weeks and there was only one time he had to drive me.

“I credit Lee with saving my life,” she continues. “He made the beds, did the cooking and the driving–everything for me.”

Celebrating 2nd transplant anniversary

Follow-ups tests show the cancer to be in complete remission and Pat continues on a bi-monthly “maintenance” treatment. She admits it gets tiring to be “constantly confronting your own mortality–you can’t pretend there’s nothing wrong.”

But in those discouraging moments, Pat recalls the hope promised in Romans 15:13:

May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in Him,
so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.

When I asked what got her through the toughest times, Pat says it was “songs in the night” (Job 35:10)

A former church pianist, she “began to hear worship music, especially at night–it was so unusual.”

“No anxiety,  I just felt gratitude for life and for treatment,” she adds. “The song I heard most was ‘Goodness of God’.

“When you enter the cancer world, it helps to have things to live for and I just had so many things.”

Grandchildren’s high school and college graduations.  A new ministry praying for cancer patients. International traveling again. And last month accompanying us on our Mississippi riverboat cruise to belatedly celebrate our 50th anniversary.

Yes, the goodness of God.

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Open in your browser to hear Pat’s favorite song in the night–“Goodness of God” with CeCe Winans.

Mar 19

Finding Serenity

“The Serenity Prayer” was always a favorite of my father–who would have turned 99 this month–and I love it, too. A framed needlepoint of that prayer hangs in my office and was made for me in  the ’70s by a dear friend in our first pastorate in western New York State.

Connie sadly passed away in her 20s from ovarian cancer after we had left the area. At that time “cancer” was just a scary word to me and I had no inclination that cancer support ministry would become my life’s calling.

Last week as my husband and I were leaving Florida– in spite of five wonderful days of speaking and relaxation–I felt overwhelmed by my mental to-do list.

 Upon returning home, we would be traveling AGAIN! This trip is for our rescheduled 50th anniversary celebration riverboat cruise. (Remember the one I had to cancel the day we were supposed to leave for Paris because I was in the hospital with a small bowel obstruction and about to have a 12-day hospital admission including a horrible NG tube and surgery? Yeah, that one. )

So much to be done in a week–unpacking/repacking, catching up on all the emails and messages, paying bills, preparations for the two Bible studies I would miss, etc…Oh, and finally STARTING our taxes! (Yes, I know I’m late to that party!)

One of the things really stressing me was that my bi-weekly blog was scheduled for today and I had no ideas, no interviews done, nothing, nada, zilch. I couldn’t see how I could possibly find the many hours needed to write, along with choosing thee right scriptures, photos and song. Delaying a week wouldn’t help because we would be gone for two Wednesdays.

Then The Serenity Prayer popped into my mind. This is something I can change! It’s my blog, I make the rules and I will  just skip it.

But while waiting for our airport Uber ride, God gave me the idea of blogging about the prayer, including what photos and song to use–while assuring me I could finish it quickly.

I changed my attitude and began writing in my head. I also asked my husband to take a photo of me right then and there as a testimony to the fact that sometimes God changes our circumstances and sometimes He changes us. Either way, we find serenity.

The Serenity Prayer as most of us know it is the shorter, revised version adopted by Alcoholics Anonymous almost 100 years ago. But here’s the original prayer as written by Reinhold Niebuhr (1892-1971), American pastor, theologian and political commentator.

God, give us grace to accept with serenity 
the things that cannot be changed, 
Courage to change the things 
which should be changed, 
and the Wisdom to distinguish 
the one from the other.

Living one day at a time, 
Enjoying one moment at a time, 
Accepting hardship as a pathway to peace, 
Taking, as Jesus did, 
This sinful world as it is, 
Not as I would have it, 
Trusting that You will make all things right, 
If I surrender to Your will, 
So that I may be reasonably happy in this life, 
And supremely happy with You forever in the next. Amen.

Dear friend, I pray today for you to have courage to see any hardship you face as a “pathway to peace.” To have faith in God’s timing to “make all things right.” And with Him to be “reasonably happy” now and “supremely happy” forever.
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Open in your browser to hear the incredibly beautiful “The Serenity Prayer Song” by the Serenity Prayer Project.