Category: suffering

Feb 05

Dumping Our Anger

 

When I was in the hospital after my cancer surgery, a friend came into my room with a big smile and announced: “God is going to teach you great things through this trial!”

I wanted to take the IV out of my arm, stab it in hers, and tell her, “You get in the bed and learn great things from God, because I ­don’t want to learn this way!”

Of course, I didn’t say that. Instead I just smiled and hoped she would leave very soon.

If you had asked me in June of 1990 whether I was angry about the nightmare unfolding before me–stage 3 cancer at age 36 with three young daughters and a husband who already had buried his first wife--I would have insisted that I was not. After all, it’s not really proper for a Baptist minister’s wife to get angry, is it?

But as I look back on those dark days after diagnosis, I realize I experienced a bevy of emotions: shock, disbelief, denial, disappointment, frustration, sadness, worry and yes, anger.

I don’t know what deep suffering or  overwhelming struggles you’ve had to face. Maybe you’re not as angry as I was; perhaps you’re only just a tiny bit ticked. Then again, maybe “fury” better describes what you’re feeling today.

Where can you go to dump it?

I suggest you run where all those with great suffering need to run: to the only One whose shoulders are broad enough, whose arms are strong enough and whose love is deep enough.

“It’s all right—questions, pain, and stabbing anger can be poured out
to the Infinite One and He will not be damaged…
For we beat on His chest from within the circle of His arms.”
 Anne Cetas, Our Daily Bread.

Can you visualize that for yourself? You crying out to God, beating your clenched fists upon His chest and Him holding you in His loving arms.

            I am exhausted from crying for help; my throat is parched.
My eyes are swollen with weeping, waiting for my God to help me. Psalm 69:3

My God, my God, why have you abandoned me? Why are you so far away when I groan for help?
Every day I call to you, my God, but you do not answer.
Every night you hear my voice, but I find no relief. Psalm 22:1-2

And then after you’ve hurled your questions heavenward, don’t forget to go to God’s Word to find His response. A good place to start might be the promise He gave to Jeremiah, who was filled with so much grief he has been called “the weeping prophet:”

“I have loved you with an everlasting love; I have drawn you with loving-kindness.
I will build you up again and you will be rebuilt…”
 Jeremiah 31:3, 4

I believe our heavenly Father is the best place to turn with our suffering. He’ll either give us the answers we seek, or the peace we need to live with the questions.

(Be sure to open this blog in your browser to hear the music video below “Cry Out to Jesus” by Third Day.)

 

Jan 23

Is the wildfire of fear, worry or anxiety burning in your life?


Fear is your enemy’s weapon. He uses it skillfully and often to great effect. Fear and its offshoots–worry and anxiety–are like a wildfire, encroaching on every area of your life and leaving destruction in their wake.


Fear eats its way into your emotions, robbing you of the peace and rest God intends for you. Fear burrows into your relationships and colors your interactions with those you love. Fear robs your body of its vigor, occupies your thoughts, and monopolizes your attention. Fear hijacks your life.

We experience fear when situations and people are not under our control. Fear is a feeling of powerlessness. We can’t control outcomes, events, or people. Anything you can control does not cause fear. As we recognize our vulnerabilities, we begin to fear. It comes naturally to us and puts down deep roots. Unless we guard against it, we grow in fear instead of growing in faith.

When you are experiencing fear in any of its forms, consider fear as an indicator you are trying to carry a burden that is not yours to carry. You are trying to do God’s job for Him. You feel the responsibility for managing the situation, and you inherently know you are not powerful enough. So fear sets in.

Fear is designed to steal every single thing Jesus wants to give you. Fear targets joy and peace like a heat-seeking missile… Introducing fear and worry into your thoughts is Satan’s attempt to dethrone God in your life. He hints to you that God might not be all He claims to be. Isn’t that the essence of fear?

Why does God repeat His injunction, “Do not fear,” over and over? Because there is so much to fear. If you were expected to navigate life on your own, in your own ability, then fear would be the only choice. He does not promise to give you a life that has nothing fearful in it, but He does promise to buffer you in such a way that fear does not have the last word. We don’t have to give fear free rein in our lives. We are not at the mercy of events outside us because we have the living, present Jesus inside us.

It seems our human nature, apart from the redeeming, restoring work of Jesus in us, is hardwired for fear. When challenges appear, we default to fear. Fear is our habit. So Jesus is saying over and over, “Do not fear.” It’s not a command. You can’t make yourself stop fearing. It’s an invitation . Maybe it sounds something like this: “Let that fear drive you to Me. You have no control, but I have complete control. Instead of wallowing in fear, let fear redirect your heart and fasten it on Me.”

Jesus is the fear-buster. His voice speaking to your heart has the power to decimate fear. The voice that called the world into being with the power of His word has direct access to your mind and emotions. The Father says, “This is my Son, whom I have chosen; listen to Him.” (Luke 9:35)

We will all find ourselves in circumstances that have the potential to produce fear, and Jesus will use those circumstances to makes us fearless.
Today’s blog is an excerpt from Prized: Experience the Tender Love of the Savior, Jennifer Kennedy Dean, pp. 106-108. Copyright (c) 2019 by the Praying Life Foundation. Published by New Hope Publishers. Used with permission. (Be sure to open this blog in your browser to enjoy the song below “Fear Not” by Kristene DiMarco.)

Jan 08

How’s your heart in this New Year?

 

Here’s what I know about the New Year ….

If your heart is beating, you have a purpose. It doesn’t matter if it’s a broken heart, grieving heart, sad heart, lonely heart, full heart…any kind of heart. If it’s beating, God has a plan for you and a purpose for each and every beat. Friend, your beating heart matters.

 

This is an ECMO machine that helped my sweet friend’s heart. ECMO stands for extracorporeal membrane oxygenation and is a lifesaving therapy which adds oxygen to the blood and pumps it throughout the patient like a heart normally would. This process takes place outside the body and lets the lungs and heart rest temporarily and have time to heal. I treasure this picture because it is a visual reminder that sometimes our hearts have seasons where they need help to beat. Moments to rest. Time to heal.

 

 

You are still here, you are still alive, your beating heart and your every breath still matter. So take on this next year with confidence and grace. Nothing is too broken for God to fix. You may be the one who needs “outside” help for your heart. Or perhaps you are the one God wants to use to give a hurting person time to rest and heal. Allow others to help and help others. Love deeply. Seek Jesus because as the song below says, every beat of your heart is calling out His Name.

I will give them a heart to know Me, for I am the LORD; and they will be My people, and I will be their God, for they will return to Me with their whole heart. Jeremiah 24:7 NASB

And I will give you a new heart, and I will put a new spirit within you. I will take out your stony, stubborn heart and give you a tender, responsive heart. Ezekiel36:26 NLT

P.S. Many thanks to my friend Joanna Dennstaedt who originally wrote this wonderful post and allowed me to tweak and expand a little upon it for this blog. Joanna is a 5-year survivor of stage 3 melanoma and founder of the nonprofit ministry Radiant Hope, which offers support/comfort/inspiration to cancer patients (including giving them a free copy of my book 50 Days of Hope!) You can connect with this beautiful lady at https://www.joannadennstaedt.com/?fbclid=IwAR3ISWHRUo0eFf9GQScAqUbWKEaVsRftys41lz3ift_JKAKGdypM1ceqWzc

Be sure to open in your browser to hear  the music video “Every Beat” by North Point InsideOut.

Dec 18

IF ONLY…

If only I hadn’t missed that one little step on the deck, fallen and broken my wrist fourteen months ago.  If only that tumble didn’t cause a nerve injury, greatly impeding my recovery and still needing prescription pain relief. If only all the trauma  didn’t bring on tachycardia, requiring a complete cardiac workup and lifestyle changes. If only a screw didn’t come loose a year later, necessitating removal of the hardware. If only being intubated for the surgery didn’t cause painful TMJ.  If only I didn’t have to start all over again with occupational therapy.

All these health struggles caused by one little missed step.

How about you? Any “if onlys” in your life or your loved one’s?

If only this diagnosis had not come right now. If only that distracted driver hadn’t rear ended us. If only my partner hadn’t been unfaithful. If only I didn’t lose my job. If only my loved one was still here with me. If only…you fill in the blanks.

 

In the Gospel of John we read about sisters Mary and Martha who sent a message to Jesus concerning their brother Lazarus: “Lord, your dear friend is very sick.” Jesus got the message and then promptly stayed put for two more days. By the time he arrived at Lazarus’ home, his friend had been in the grave four days.

Martha ran outside the village to meet Jesus and told him: “Lord, if only you had been here, my brother would not have died.” (John 11:21, italics mine)

Shortly, Mary arrived with the same heartbroken words: “Lord, if only you had been here, my brother would not have died.” (John 11:32, italics mine)

Jesus followed the two women to Lazarus’ grave and scripture tells us He was both angry and weeping. He knew His Heavenly Father was going to raise His friend back to life in a few moments, but that didn’t prevent Jesus from being mad and from crying.

Friends, I believe Jesus cares deeply about our “if onlys.” I believe He is angry when our frail bodies break down with sickness and injury. He’s angry when other people’s missteps cause us pain and suffering. He’s angry when partners are unfaithful. He’s angry when unfairness happens to us. He’s angry when death temporarily steals a loved one from us.

If you are wondering what Jesus thinks about your “if onlys”…He’s weeping with you.

He’s shedding tears because we have to experience trials in this life and He longs for us all to be in Heaven where the Book of Revelation tells us “there will be no more death or sorrow or crying or pain. All these things are gone forever.”

Right before Jesus prayed for Lazarus’ resurrection, He told all the weeping mourners: “Didn’t I tell you that you would see the glory of God if you believe?” (He didn’t add the word “only” but His message is the same.)

I can’t tell you exactly how God is going to respond to your painful “if only,” but I know He loves you and if only you believe–trust in Him–you will see His glory some how, some way, some time. He may bring physical healing or emotional soothing or relationship restoration or supernatural comfort.  As the song below reminds us: “When your pain runs deep, His love runs deeper still.”

Open in your browser to hear the music video “Somewhere in Your Silent Night” by Casting Crowns

Dec 04

How much praying is enough?

Guest blog by Julie Coleman author/speaker/teacher/cancer survivor http://juliecoleman.org

Is God more moved to answer our requests by persistence? If we pray hard enough or long enough will that increase our chance of getting the answer we are hoping for?

How persistent is enough? Praying for something 20 times? Fifty times? Five times a day? Ten?

The Apostle Paul didn’t seem to think in terms of big numbers. When his “thorn in the flesh” became unbearable, he prayed to God. Not 50 times or even 20. “I implored the Lord three times that it might leave me,” he writes in 2 Corinthians 12:8.

Three times? I could knock that out in a half-hour. If persistence was the issue, don’t you think Paul would have made the request more times than that? 

You may have heard Jesus’ parable about the “persistent widow “(Luke 18:2-8). The woman was being harassed, so she approached a certain judge for assistance. The judge had no interest in her plea and ignored her protests. However, he finally tired of her constant badgering and gave in to her demands, saying: “Even though I do not fear God nor respect man, yet because this widow bothers me, I will give her legal protection, otherwise by continually coming she will wear me out.”

I’ve always heard it taught that this story teaches we need to be persistent in prayer, so God will give us what we want. But I believe the Luke 18 parable is not so much about the widow, but about the self-absorbed judge.

The judge is a real jerk: ignoring the pleas of the oppressed, refusing to respect God or people. Absolutely self-absorbed. Even when he finally acquiesces to the widow’s repeated requests, it’s all about him. “Because this widow bothers ME…otherwise by continually coming she will wear ME out.” (emphasis added)

Now seriously, is this depiction of the judge meant to represent God in any way?

No! Jesus contrasts the earthly judge with His heavenly Father so the disciples can see how different the two are.

“Then the Lord said, ‘Learn a lesson from this unjust judge. Even he rendered a just decision in the end. So don’t you think God will give justice to his chosen people who cry out to him day and night? Will he keep putting them off? I tell you he will grant justice to them quickly!’” Luke 18:6-8

I believe Jesus is reassuring His disciples about the character of God, not giving them a burden of how persistently they ought to pray.

A careful look at the widow parable yields a much more accurate view of what Jesus was trying to communicate as Luke gives us a big clue in his introduction. “Now He was telling them a parable to show that at all times they ought to pray and not to lose heart.” (italics added)

The disciples would not lose heart if they understood the character of God. He has a plan for this world and will bring it to fulfillment. Jesus is teaching them: God is on the throne. He wants you to trust Him…even when things get grim. He is NOT that self-absorbed judge. Don’t lose heart when opposition comes and circumstances pile up against you.

I don’t think this parable is about prayer at all. Instead it’s about who God is…and why we should never lose heart.

 

Be sure to open this blog in your browser to hear the music video “Do Not Lose Heart” by Caroline Cobb.

 

 

 

Read more of Julie’s wisdom at http://juliecoleman.org