Category: hope

Oct 08

A Real-Life Hero

Andrew Sone has met many interesting people–some good, others very bad–in his years as a parole officer, a Megan’s Law predator unit member, a clinical social worker and finally a therapist.  But there’s only one person he calls his hero.

“If anyone asks who’s my hero, I always say ‘my wife’,” explains 54-year-old Andrew, who has been married to Jennifer for 22 years.

To be clear, Jennifer was his hero even before she was diagnosed with cancer last summer, but her cancer journey “has just solidified it.”

Jennifer, 49, doesn’t feel like a hero. She’s physically weak, has trouble concentrating, and still misses her long hair.

Last year, she knew something wasn’t right health- wise, but it took a few months to finally get to the correct medical specialist, who could order the proper tests.

“I was crying when I first saw my scan results (online) and my initial words were: ‘I can’t believe I’m dying’,” Jennifer recalls.  “Then a few weeks later when the doctor sat me down and told me it was stage 4, I lost it again.”

Jennifer’s diagnosis of ovarian cancer spread to the lining of the lung, liver and diaphragm “was surreal,” Andrew recalls. “It’s something you never think would happen; cancer applies to someone else.”

Jennifer (before cancer) & her dog Kapua

In the fall of last year, Jennifer had chemo and surgery to shrink the 10-cm ovarian mass. That was followed by HIPEC, an aggressive surgical technique which bathes the abdominal cavity in a heated, concentrated chemo solution designed to kill residual cancer cells. Then she started  “maintenance” chemo and a PARP-inhibitor (targeted therapy that helps cells repair damaged DNA)–a regimen scheduled to be  every three weeks for two years.

Follow-up scans and blood work continue to deliver good news:  NED (No Evidence of Disease).

Andrew credits his hero-wife’s “passionate love affair with God” for guiding her through these difficult months, including her beloved dog passing away.

“Jen’s walk with the Lord is unwavering.”

“God really sustains me,” Jennifer  explains. “I just can’t believe all He’s gotten me through. We are all 100-percent in need of God all the time, but (Andrew and I) were just so helpless after my diagnosis, we really felt how much we needed Him.”

Andrew agrees and says it seemed like “the wind was knocked out of me and my faith was redefined to truly understand ‘dependency’.

“Some of the most powerful prayers I prayed contained just one word: Jesus. That one word said ‘I am completely dependent on You’.”

Jennifer acknowledges her share of “crying spells,” but says she always finds strength in Isaiah 41:10:

The couple recently started a “Praying thru Cancer” support group in their hometown of Myrtle Beach in hopes of encouraging others on difficult cancer journeys. They also regularly give away copies of 50 Days of Hope, the book a co-worker gave Jen and which led her to contact me.

Through our correspondence, I discovered that for many years the Sones lived in Pennsylvania and that her parents still live just a few miles from my home. So when the couple came this summer to visit family, we made plans to meet for breakfast.

I’m not sure who was more excited: Jennifer or me!

“I told everyone this is my Make-a-Wish to meet you,” she said with tears in her eyes.

But with tears in my eyes, I knew I had the gift of hugging a real-life hero of the faith.

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Please open in your browser to hear “I Will Fear No More” by The Afters.

 

 

 

 

Sep 24

“If I had known…”

Izzy (R), cousin Abby (center) and sister Callyn (L)

On Labor Day weekend after a fun-filled family day of kayaking, paddle boarding and picnicking at a nearby state park, our oldest granddaughter started complaining about stomach pain. Just a few days shy of her 12th birthday, Izzy couldn’t sleep that Saturday night and kept waking her parents seeking pain-relief.

No fever, no other symptoms. Did she “drink” too much lake water as she lay on the paddle board and the refreshing waves splashed her face? Had she eaten something at our BBQ that didn’t agree with her?

On Sunday morning she threw up and pleaded to go to urgent care where mom Bethany quickly took her (I know vomit is the proper word, but it gives me the heebie-jeebies).

Nothing showed during the exam at urgent care, but the doc recommended they go to Children’s Hospital of Philadelphia urgent care center in nearby King of Prussia to get an ultrasound and rule out appendicitis.

A few long hours later, Izzy was scheduled for admittance at CHOP so she could have her appendix removed in the morning.

“I was very nervous because I never had surgery before,” Izzy admits. “Everyone kept saying it would be OK, but I didn’t know that for sure and I was worried.”

And then what happened next really surprised her.

Post-surgery FaceTime

“My room was really cool and they wrote on a whiteboard ‘WELCOME IZZY!’,” she recalls. “There was a snack room and the nurses gave me chocolate ice cream. And there was a playroom and my Daddy and I played Rummikub, and if you took a paperback book to read, you could keep it!

“My Daddy stayed until I fell asleep and then Mommy came back,” Izzy adds. “The nurses were really nice and they checked on me all night.”

Shortly after her successful one-hour laparoscopic surgery, we FaceTimed with Izzy and she made this observation: “If I had known how great it was going to be, I never would have been afraid.”

That comment started me thinking about fear of the unknown, which led to pondering my eventual journey to Heaven (which, for all of us gets closer every day!) I turned 71 yesterday and if I’m truly honest, I have some apprehension, some concern…dare I say, a little  fear about some of the unknowns?

What will my earthly passing be like? How does it feel to be transported out of this body? What will Heaven REALLY be like?

“I imagine our first glimpse of Heaven will cause us to…gasp in amazement and delight,” writes Randy Alcorn in his book Heaven. “That first gasp will likely be followed by many more as we continually encounter new sights in that endlessly wonderful place.”

Maybe there will be a white board inscribed ‘WELCOME LYNN!” And I’m sure there will be really good snacks and really nice people.

Alcorn goes on to describe our first moments in Heaven like this:
“Now you see someone coming toward you. It’s Jesus, with a big smile on His face. You fall to your knees in worship. He pulls you up and embraces you. At last you are with the person you were made for, in the place you were made to be.”

And like my wise granddaughter, I imagine I will say “If I had known how great this was  going to be, I never would have been afraid!”

No eye has seen, no ear has heard, and no mind has imagined what God has prepared for those who love him. 
1 Corinthians 2:9

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Please open in browser to hear the music video “I Can Only Imagine” ©Mercy Me.

Sep 10

Wrapping People in God’s Love

Kelley & Rick with Connie’s quilt

When her best friend was diagnosed with cancer,  Kelley Carson stitched a lap quilt so Connie could be “wrapped in my love and the love of Jesus.”

But neither woman ever imagined that 20 years later nearly 9,000 more cancer patients also would be wrapped in that love.

“We started giving away a few quilts to people getting chemo with Connie,” Kelley recalls. “And then it just took off from there.”

Connie passed away in 2007, but in 2004 the two women formed Cozy Quilters Ministries https://www.facebook.com/cozyquilts2017/ at their small, country church in western New York state.

A few church ladies prayerfully stitched the quilts, which along with a note of encouragement and a copy of my first book, When GOD & Cancer Meet, were placed in a matching tote bag.

“Once word got out about what we were doing, the names starting streaming in,” Kelley says.  “And they still do. As long as we have a name and an address, we will send a quilt.”

The CQ volunteers even have sent quilts to celebrities facing cancer including former Jeopardy host Alex Trebek, singer Olivia Newton John, and actor Beau Bridges –all of whom responded with thank-you notes.

The quilters didn’t hear back from former Buffalo Bills’ quarterback Jim Kelly, but did see him in a TV interview sitting with his red, white and blue Cozy Quilt draped behind him on his recliner.

“We vowed that if we heard of a person with cancer and had a way to get a quilt to them, we would,” Kelley explains. “We want to wrap the arms of Christ around everyone that we can.”

Today there are seven CQ chapters in western New York and one in northern Pennsylvania. At the 20th anniversary celebration last month, the groups announced they had given away a total of 8,871 quilts! (No wonder When GOD & Cancer Meet just had its 20th printing!)

Quilts have gone out to all 50 states and 18 foreign countries. There is no charge to the recipient or the person requesting the quilt as all costs for fabric, postage and my books are covered by donations.

Earlier this year a quilt was called for, but Kelley didn’t need the recipient’s address.

Her husband of 38 years was diagnosed with colon cancer, so Kelley made 6′ 4′ Rick (whose nickname is “Animal”) a Sasquatch (Big Foot) patterned quilt. In May, the 63-year old retired union laborer had robotic surgery at Roswell Cancer Center in Buffalo to remove the tumor and resection his colon.

Rick with his Big Foot quilt!

“Doctors tell me that basically I’m cured,” says Rick, who especially is thankful to have been able to walk his only daughter down the aisle last month.

But even before he got word that the cancer was completely contained and removed, Rick says he “felt at peace.”

“I just felt there was no reason to worry about it because it was out of my control,” he explains.

Kelley describes Cozy Quilt Ministries “as an evangelism ministry that just happens to use quilts” and vows that “as long as God continues to provide what we need to do this, I will keep doing it.”

“None of us are in control of this ministry,” she adds. “The Holy Spirit goes with each of these quilts and touches people at just the right time. I never could have imagined what God would do.”

P.S. (For info on making a donation or starting a CQ group, email cozyquiltministries@gmail.com)
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Open in your browser to hear “O the Deep, Deep Love of Jesus” with Reawaken Hymns.

Aug 27

Navigating the Storms of Life

Photos NOT from the fateful voyage!

Many years ago my husband  and I had plans with my then-boss, Dr. Marc Hirsh and his wife Elizabeth to cruise to a marina on Maryland’s eastern shore for our annual Labor Day weekend getaway on their 32-two-foot Bayliner.

The weather looked rather foul, but Elizabeth had checked with her brother who lives right on the Gunpowder River leading into the Chesapeake Bay, and he assured us the reports didn’t look that bad despite a hurricane that was heading northward up the coast. (We later learned he had accidentally listened to the wrong forecast!)

Even though Marc and Elizabeth were seasoned boaters,  the whitecaps on the usually calm river should have been our first clue it wasn’t a good idea to head out. We had a short two-hour cruise ahead of us, but it wasn’t long before the white caps turned into three-foot waves. The wind whipped up, and then the thunder, lightning, and rain came. At first we all laughed and enjoyed the warm rain soaking us as the boat pounded through the waves.

But then I stopped laughing and my stomach started rebelling. Elizabeth handed me a supply of Ziploc bags, which I started filling.

The waves were now five feet high and crashing clear over the top of the boat’s windshield, drenching us. It was nearly impossible for Marc to see out the rain-splattered windshield, and my husband and Elizabeth were trying to read the navigational charts and look for the numbered buoys, which would keep us in the correct channel away from large shipping vessels, shallow water, and crab pots.

We were too far out to turn back toward home, yet not sure we could make it to our planned destination.

And then it got really bad.

Marc announced that according to the boat’s compass we were headed in exactly the wrong direction: south when we should have been heading north.

We all were sure we hadn’t turned around—Elizabeth was especially positive that she would have noticed if the boat had made an about-face. From past experience I knew she usually was right whenever the two of them had a boating disagreement.

The three of us looked at Marc, waiting to see what he would do. (Well, I didn’t look long because I was busy praying there were enough Ziploc bags.)

After a long pause, Marc posed his now-famous question: “Should I trust my wife . . . or the magnetic poles of the earth?”

It wouldn’t have surprised me if he’d gone with Elizabeth’s feelings because she was so adamant about them, but his scientific brain won out and Marc turned the boat 180 degrees.

Within a few moments, buoys were sighted which confirmed that we, indeed, had been going in the wrong direction despite all of us “feeling” otherwise.

The storm raging around us had distorted reality and our feelings had fallen fickle.

The same thing can happen in the storms of life. We can feel as if we’re unable to cope or that we have no hope. In those times we need a compass—something that always will steer us in the right direction.

A magnetic compass always will point you to the North Pole, and God’s Word always will point you to His unchanging truths and promises.

“The grass withers and the flowers fade, but the word of our God stands forever.”  Isaiah 40:8

Like Marc as he captained our boat that stormy trip, it’s your choice–and mine–whether or not to trust the magnetic poles of the earth. Life’s trials may distort reality, but there is a deeper spiritual reality that always an be trusted.

Excerpted from When God & Grief Meet. Copyright © 2009 by Lynn Eib. All rights reserved.
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May 21

All Shall Be Well

Like most of us, Kevin Cross’s life has been full of unexpected twists and turns–many of them wonderful, at least one terrifying. And as soon as I heard his “full-circle” story, I knew I wanted to share it.

The Cross home on the Tred Avon River

His life dream started very young.

“When I was little, I used to play at being a priest,” Kevin, 72, recalls. “I gave my sisters Necco (candy) wafers for communion!”

In college Kevin continued his dream of becoming a Jesuit priest…until he attended a Catholic retreat and met a young blonde named Barbara.

The two quickly fell in love and “that kind of ended that career choice!” Kevin says with a laugh.

They married in 1974 and after earning a Master’s in psychiatric social work, he worked in counseling and human resources for the next three decades.

Then came another unexpected turn when he and Barbara attended a retreat in 2003.

“When we got there, I found out it was a 3-day silent retreat, which didn’t sound that great,” Kevin recalls. “But afterwards as soon as I got back in the car, I started hearing in my head  ‘I want you to be a priest’.”

He wrestled with such a momentous change, but finally decided to go to seminary and become an Episcopal priest.

“Father Cross” has been his calling  ever since.

Volunteer chaplain at the National Cathedral

For the past 14 years he’s been rector at Church of the Holy Trinity, Oxford, MD, on the Eastern shore of the Chesapeake Bay. (Known as “The Village Vicar” in this community of only 600.)

The most difficult path Kevin’s been forced to take began in 2019 when he insisted his family doctor do some cardiac screening because  he was 67 and “so many of my parishioners were having strokes and heart attacks.”

The coronary calcium scan which looks for plaque in the arteries scored him a perfect zero. But the x-ray images of his heart showed something else.

“You’ve got a spot on your right lung that looks suspicious,” the doctor reported and prescribed an antibiotic in hopes it was merely an infection.

But a few months later the answer came: “It’s grown and you need to have it out.”

Kevin’s right lower lobe lung was removed and the pathology identified melanoma, which meant it was stage 4. (The primary skin site never was found.)

“This whole thing was just a shocker,” Kevin acknowledges. “There were times when I was really frightened and petrified, but my faith is what really got me through–my faith, my family and my friends.”

He began a bi-weekly infusion of immunotherapy to boost his immune system, stopping six months shy of the recommended two years because of adverse kidney effects.

Especially comforting to Kevin have been the words of 14th century mystic Julian of Norwich, who withdrew into solitude for most of her life and wrote Revelations of Divine Love (the oldest surviving book in English by a woman). Her village was filled with poverty, famine and the bubonic plague, prompting suffering folks to come to her cell  for spiritual counsel. 

It was a vision in May 1373 when Julian said she heard Jesus speak the words for which she is most well-known:

“‘All shall be well’ became my mantra,” Kevin remembers. “I obviously wanted to be healed, but I knew if I wasn’t, all will be well.”

Scans every three months continue to show No Evidence of Disease for Kevin.

“It’s always on your mind that it could recur,” he explains. “I can forget about it for a while, but it helps me remember the finiteness of life and appreciate it more.”

Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows. But take heart, because I have overcome the world.
—John 16:33

Yes, in Him, all shall be well.
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For more on the life of Julian of Norwich https://julianofnorwich.org/pages/who-is-julian-of-norwich For more of her quotes https://quotefancy.com/julian-of-norwich-quotes

Open in your browser to hear this short, beautiful arrangement of “All Shall Be Well” by an unnamed guitarist (originally composed by folk-singer Sydney Bertram Carter, best known for “Lord of the Dance”. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S8c3-GMOs10 )