Category: faith

Aug 27

Navigating the Storms of Life

Photos NOT from the fateful voyage!

Many years ago my husband  and I had plans with my then-boss, Dr. Marc Hirsh and his wife Elizabeth to cruise to a marina on Maryland’s eastern shore for our annual Labor Day weekend getaway on their 32-two-foot Bayliner.

The weather looked rather foul, but Elizabeth had checked with her brother who lives right on the Gunpowder River leading into the Chesapeake Bay, and he assured us the reports didn’t look that bad despite a hurricane that was heading northward up the coast. (We later learned he had accidentally listened to the wrong forecast!)

Even though Marc and Elizabeth were seasoned boaters,  the whitecaps on the usually calm river should have been our first clue it wasn’t a good idea to head out. We had a short two-hour cruise ahead of us, but it wasn’t long before the white caps turned into three-foot waves. The wind whipped up, and then the thunder, lightning, and rain came. At first we all laughed and enjoyed the warm rain soaking us as the boat pounded through the waves.

But then I stopped laughing and my stomach started rebelling. Elizabeth handed me a supply of Ziploc bags, which I started filling.

The waves were now five feet high and crashing clear over the top of the boat’s windshield, drenching us. It was nearly impossible for Marc to see out the rain-splattered windshield, and my husband and Elizabeth were trying to read the navigational charts and look for the numbered buoys, which would keep us in the correct channel away from large shipping vessels, shallow water, and crab pots.

We were too far out to turn back toward home, yet not sure we could make it to our planned destination.

And then it got really bad.

Marc announced that according to the boat’s compass we were headed in exactly the wrong direction: south when we should have been heading north.

We all were sure we hadn’t turned around—Elizabeth was especially positive that she would have noticed if the boat had made an about-face. From past experience I knew she usually was right whenever the two of them had a boating disagreement.

The three of us looked at Marc, waiting to see what he would do. (Well, I didn’t look long because I was busy praying there were enough Ziploc bags.)

After a long pause, Marc posed his now-famous question: “Should I trust my wife . . . or the magnetic poles of the earth?”

It wouldn’t have surprised me if he’d gone with Elizabeth’s feelings because she was so adamant about them, but his scientific brain won out and Marc turned the boat 180 degrees.

Within a few moments, buoys were sighted which confirmed that we, indeed, had been going in the wrong direction despite all of us “feeling” otherwise.

The storm raging around us had distorted reality and our feelings had fallen fickle.

The same thing can happen in the storms of life. We can feel as if we’re unable to cope or that we have no hope. In those times we need a compass—something that always will steer us in the right direction.

A magnetic compass always will point you to the North Pole, and God’s Word always will point you to His unchanging truths and promises.

“The grass withers and the flowers fade, but the word of our God stands forever.”  Isaiah 40:8

Like Marc as he captained our boat that stormy trip, it’s your choice–and mine–whether or not to trust the magnetic poles of the earth. Life’s trials may distort reality, but there is a deeper spiritual reality that always an be trusted.

Excerpted from When God & Grief Meet. Copyright © 2009 by Lynn Eib. All rights reserved.
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Aug 13

How Anger Evolved into Peace

The early days of the pandemic were pretty tough on everybody, especially those–like my friend Erin–dealing with serious health issues.

“After months of doctors dismissing my symptoms, they worsened in April 2020,” recalls Erin, who was 42 and experiencing abdominal pain with occasional fevers. “I had a few Zoom visits–because of COVID, I couldn’t get anyone to see me. They kept saying the symptoms were from COVID, which I didn’t think they were, but no one would listen.”

Finally on Aug. 21, 2020–her 43rd birthday–surgery was scheduled at Johns Hopkins, near her Maryland home.  CT scans had revealed an infection and doctors expected to treat a diverticulitis abscess.

“But I woke up from surgery to hear they found a tumor in my sigmoid colon and a hysterectomy was needed because of widespread infection inflammation,” Erin says. “I was a very healthy woman who had taken good care of myself, but I became a crumbled, devastated mess.”

Erin, a wife and mother of three–aged 10, 13, and 15 at the time– says she was “terrified” when she heard the news, including the fact cancer had spread to three lymph nodes and she would need six months of weekly chemo.

Erin’s family 2020

“Everything was spiraling out of control and it all felt very unfair.”

Having a life-threatening illness was especially traumatic because her only sibling–younger brother Dominic–died in 2004 from a drug overdose at age 23.

“I was worried about my kids, my husband and my parents,” she explains. “I’ve already lost my brother; they’ve already lost their son. Hasn’t our family had enough tragedy?”

Erin and my paths first crossed in November 2020 when she messaged me on Facebook, thanking me for how helpful 50 Days of Hope had been. Shortly after that, she joined my Moms’ Cancer Prayer Support Group  on Zoom and garnered a bit of relief for the isolation she felt.

However, chemo was tough for Erin–her fingers peeled so much she couldn’t open her cell phone by touch, and she lost all her hair–despite the nurses’ assurance that never happened with her treatment regimen!

Then 22 months after her diagnosis, a blood test revealed abnormalities. Follow-up scans showed an 8mm (pea-size) tumor on her liver.

Erin, a businesswoman https://www.erinpelicano.com with an engineering degree, found the new diagnosis “more devastating” than the first one.

“I have a brain for numbers and everything added up to stage 4 disease that I probably  wouldn’t survive,” she recalls.

In July 2022 she had surgery to remove the small spot, followed by complementary treatments intended to boost her immune system.

When I asked her how this roller coaster ride has affected her spiritual faith, she says it has “evolved.”

“At first I was incredibly angry with God because we had lost my brother and I had tried to be a good person and do the right thing. And I kept looking for someone to give me the reassurance that I was going to be alright, but no one would.

“Eventually I realized I had to lean on God and prayer to provide me peace in my day,” she explains. “I didn’t want to die young, but I came to a sense of peace after so much anger.”

And that peace came even before she sent me this text last month.

Erin says she continues to encourage others not to ignore their symptoms because “you know your body.”

“I knew something wasn’t right, but I couldn’t get doctors to listen to me. I think God can speak through our instincts,” she adds. “Don’t doubt yourself–fight for answers!”

Erin is committed to hearing truth everyday, so at 10 AM her favorite Bible verse pops up on her cell with some very wise words for the weary:

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Open in your browser to hear “In the Valley” by CityAlight and featuring Sandra McCracken.

Jun 18

Good news (and some not-so-good): My oncologist has cancer Part 12

For those of us who know and care about Dr. Marc Hirsh, we can exhale once more.

His 9-month check up last week at Hershey Medical was good news again! Blood work and a CT scan confirmed that the very rare neuroendocrine tumor of thymine origin has not changed. The 5X3 cm mass still is in front of Marc’s heart and there are cardiac issues from the high-dose radiation, but four years after multiple doctors gave him only a few weeks to live, he is alive, well, and enjoying life.

“When I was diagnosed, I figured I could only have a few weeks left–I was very short of breath and a had a lot of symptoms,” he recalled. “This cancer is normally aggressive and the prognosis from all the experts was not good.

“But I no longer expect it has to come back, and now that it’s four years, I’m actually entertaining the possibility I may be cured.”

Meanwhile, Marc is thoroughly enjoying re-learning the classical piano music he played proficiently in elementary school and “finds music very spiritually uplifting.”

And now that he is retired, Marc has found more time to read in areas of interest such as theology, philosophy and science.

“Science is just learning about God’s creation,” he noted. “And I definitely have been feeling very good about life: relationships, family, opportunities to help people.”

Pink Out cancer patient fundraiser!

But even in the midst of good news, Marc and Elizabeth have experienced a new challenge, as she recently was diagnosed with Parkinson’s disease.

“It’s the first time in my life someone has told me that I have something that I can’t get over,” Elizabeth says. “That’s the hard part.”

Parkinson’s is a chronic disorder of the central nervous system that affects a person’s movements.

Not surprisingly, Elizabeth, my dear friend and prayer-partner for 30+ years is undaunted.

“I knew something was wrong for awhile, but all the tests eliminated everything else, so I was grateful it wasn’t more serious,” she said.

“It’s something I can live with,” she added, noting that she’s ” still functioning at a pretty high level and enjoying life” despite her non-dominant side being affected with weakness and tremors. Her regular self-care routine includes walking, swimming, stretching, good nutrition and small weights for strengthening.

And how has this chronic illness  affected Elizabeth’s faith?

“I like to be in touch with the Lord all the time, but especially during a trial of any kind, I always feel closer to Him,”  she says. “I realize He’s right there with me and it brings a smile and a peace.”

Elizabeth also adds that Marc–her husband of 44 years–“has been very good to me” assisting with activities that normally need two steady hands.

Marc’s perspective on the subject is this: “Maybe God’s keeping me alive to take care of Elizabeth.”

Whatever the reason, Marc, we rejoice in your healing, and in God’s faithfulness to you both.

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Open in your browser to hear the  inspiring song “Bound to Come Some Trouble” by Rich Mullins, Marc and Elizabeth’s favorite Christian artist. I think it perfectly sums up their faith, and I pray it encourages you today.

Jun 04

Restoring What the Locusts Have Eaten

This is the story of one woman’s pain, her mistakes, and her grief. But it’s especially the story of how God redeemed her heartaches…and her soul.

My dear friend Carmen grew up with an angry, abusive father, whom her mother divorced when Carmen was about 11 or 12. As she looks back on her rough childhood, she believes she suffered from undiagnosed clinical depression from her teens through early adulthood.

“I remember being tired, bored, lonely, and feeling nothing really made me happy,” she recalls.

Eventually she met a handsome star athlete as she was moving into her dorm at Temple University in Philly. They quickly were in a “serious dating relationship,” but before long, he “cheated” on her.

“My depression became worse and I internalized all the hurt,” Carmen says. “I thought the only way out of the pain was to end my life.

“That was the first attempt to take my life and then I compounded the problem by marrying him,” she acknowledges.

The second suicide attempt came after her new husband continued to stray.

“I tried to end my life again, but God wouldn’t have it,” Carmen remembers. “Even then, God had a bigger purpose for my life.”

The infidelity pain was compounded by two tragedies: Before the couple married in 1985, a baby boy born without kidneys who survived a mere 16 hours; then another son born in 1986 with multiple birth defects, who lived only 16 months.

Carmen was devastated.

Renea & Carmen

“I was so angry with God I went to see my friend Renea, who talked about knowing God–and I wanted some answers!,” she recalls. “I always thought she was the best friend and that she would be a really great friend if she’s just quit talking about Jesus!”

But when Carmen took her angry questions to her friend, “she gently and kindly told me about Jesus–a real Savior who wanted a relationship with me.”

The two women, friends since teenagers, started going to worship together, and Carmen still remembers the pastor’s sermon which changed her life. It was the story in 2 Chronicles 20 where the Israelites prayed and “raised a hallelujah,” and God made a way where there seemed to be no way.

“For the first time, the Word of God actually made sense to me,” Carmen says. “I went down front (of the sanctuary) and gave my life to the Lord on January 31, 1988.”

“Since then it has been a beautiful adventure,” she says, “I was miraculously healed of the depression and when my husband cheated on me again, I didn’t blame myself because I knew I was a child of God!

“I looked up and said ‘I deserve better than this!’ and that gave me the strength to leave him.”

Fast-forward to August 1997 when a co-worker introduced Carmen to his friend Greg. It was another whirlwind romance, but Carmen was not the same person.

“My criteria was a husband who loved God even more than he loved me, and I found one,” she explains.

Carmen’s recent 60th birthday party

The couple married in March 1998 and have since adopted two children, son Quinn (now 16) from Ethiopia and daughter Makenzie (now 11) born in the States.

“God has restored everything that was taken from me,” Carmen says. “He completely healed my broken heart over my babies and He’s given me two beautiful children and a wonderful husband…this is a testimony of what God has done!”

No wonder one of Carmen’s favorite verses is Joel 2:25:

I will restore to you the years the locusts have eaten.

Carmen has been in my weekly women’s Bible study for almost four years and our group was shocked to learn of the heartaches she has faced, as she is known for her beautiful, glowing smile.

“It’s joy!,” she told us. “It’s not happiness; before I was seeking happiness and now I have JOY!

“I don’t share my story so you will feel sorry for me, but because I want you to know the miracle of God,” she explains. “I know God is real!”

As an adult, Carmen forgave and reconciled with her dad and they had many good years together before his death in 2005.

“He was just a flawed human being in need of forgiveness, just like the rest of us,” she explains. “And like my favorite song says: May my whole life prove that God is good.”

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Please open in your browser so you don’t miss Carmen’s favorite song, “God is Good” by Jonathan McReynolds. “The first time I heard it, I just broke down,” she says.

May 21

All Shall Be Well

Like most of us, Kevin Cross’s life has been full of unexpected twists and turns–many of them wonderful, at least one terrifying. And as soon as I heard his “full-circle” story, I knew I wanted to share it.

The Cross home on the Tred Avon River

His life dream started very young.

“When I was little, I used to play at being a priest,” Kevin, 72, recalls. “I gave my sisters Necco (candy) wafers for communion!”

In college Kevin continued his dream of becoming a Jesuit priest…until he attended a Catholic retreat and met a young blonde named Barbara.

The two quickly fell in love and “that kind of ended that career choice!” Kevin says with a laugh.

They married in 1974 and after earning a Master’s in psychiatric social work, he worked in counseling and human resources for the next three decades.

Then came another unexpected turn when he and Barbara attended a retreat in 2003.

“When we got there, I found out it was a 3-day silent retreat, which didn’t sound that great,” Kevin recalls. “But afterwards as soon as I got back in the car, I started hearing in my head  ‘I want you to be a priest’.”

He wrestled with such a momentous change, but finally decided to go to seminary and become an Episcopal priest.

“Father Cross” has been his calling  ever since.

Volunteer chaplain at the National Cathedral

For the past 14 years he’s been rector at Church of the Holy Trinity, Oxford, MD, on the Eastern shore of the Chesapeake Bay. (Known as “The Village Vicar” in this community of only 600.)

The most difficult path Kevin’s been forced to take began in 2019 when he insisted his family doctor do some cardiac screening because  he was 67 and “so many of my parishioners were having strokes and heart attacks.”

The coronary calcium scan which looks for plaque in the arteries scored him a perfect zero. But the x-ray images of his heart showed something else.

“You’ve got a spot on your right lung that looks suspicious,” the doctor reported and prescribed an antibiotic in hopes it was merely an infection.

But a few months later the answer came: “It’s grown and you need to have it out.”

Kevin’s right lower lobe lung was removed and the pathology identified melanoma, which meant it was stage 4. (The primary skin site never was found.)

“This whole thing was just a shocker,” Kevin acknowledges. “There were times when I was really frightened and petrified, but my faith is what really got me through–my faith, my family and my friends.”

He began a bi-weekly infusion of immunotherapy to boost his immune system, stopping six months shy of the recommended two years because of adverse kidney effects.

Especially comforting to Kevin have been the words of 14th century mystic Julian of Norwich, who withdrew into solitude for most of her life and wrote Revelations of Divine Love (the oldest surviving book in English by a woman). Her village was filled with poverty, famine and the bubonic plague, prompting suffering folks to come to her cell  for spiritual counsel. 

It was a vision in May 1373 when Julian said she heard Jesus speak the words for which she is most well-known:

“‘All shall be well’ became my mantra,” Kevin remembers. “I obviously wanted to be healed, but I knew if I wasn’t, all will be well.”

Scans every three months continue to show No Evidence of Disease for Kevin.

“It’s always on your mind that it could recur,” he explains. “I can forget about it for a while, but it helps me remember the finiteness of life and appreciate it more.”

Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows. But take heart, because I have overcome the world.
—John 16:33

Yes, in Him, all shall be well.
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For more on the life of Julian of Norwich https://julianofnorwich.org/pages/who-is-julian-of-norwich For more of her quotes https://quotefancy.com/julian-of-norwich-quotes

Open in your browser to hear this short, beautiful arrangement of “All Shall Be Well” by an unnamed guitarist (originally composed by folk-singer Sydney Bertram Carter, best known for “Lord of the Dance”. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S8c3-GMOs10 )