Category: faith

Dec 31

Are you tired of all the bad news?

Interviewing Atty. F. Lee Bailey 1989

Sometimes I miss my days of being a newspaper reporter–reading three daily papers and chasing after big stories (like interviewing F. Lee Bailey, attorney for such notorious defendants as the Boston Strangler, O.J. Simpson, and Dr. Sam Sheppard, a.k.a. “The Fugitive.”).

But most of the time nowadays I don’t even want to hear much of the news.

Devastating wars, the constant threat of terrorism, political unrest,  severe weather disasters, so much hate, and too many friends and relatives battling illnesses.

Life is not only hard; it’s downright unfair, as some people seem to have more than their share of trouble. You or your loved one might even be one of those people.

Wouldn’t it be wonderful if we lived in a world where everything was fair, people didn’t get sick and sad things didn’t happen? That would be a great place to call “home.”

Did you ever wonder why there’s such a longing in each of us for just such a place? It’s a longing for home, you know.  A longing for our real home. You see, we weren’t created to live in Pennsylvania or New York or anywhere else on the face of this planet. We were created for our real home…Heaven.

Image by Tumisu from Pixabay

The Bible describes Heaven as the place where God “will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and there will be no more death or sorrow or crying or pain.” (Revelation 21:14)

And why won’t there be any more tears or death or pain? Not because we’ll have all the money we ever wanted. Or all the success. Or all the beauty. Or any other tangible item.

It’s because we’ll have God Himself.

“Look! God’s home is now among his people! He will live with them and they will be his people.” (Revelation 21:13)

We’ll have what we always really needed to be whole—the constant presence of God Himself.

The great 17th-century philosopher and mathematician Blaise Pascal wrote that we all have a “God-shaped vacuum” inside. There’s a hole, so to speak, in our souls that leaves us longing for something more than this world has to offer.

God has “planted eternity in the human heart” the writer of Ecclesiastes tells us.

God knows only He can fill that hole of longing even though we try to fill it ourselves. Some of us try to fill it by buying “stuff” or with relationships or with work or sports or with learning or religious rituals. Some even try things like food or sex or drugs or alcohol. But none of these can fill the God-shaped vacuum in us…instead they only make it bigger.

The only thing that fills that hole and makes us whole is when God fills it with Himself by putting His very Spirit inside us. And when God’s Spirit lives in us, we discover our purpose for living.

It’s really quite simple…Do you know what it is?

We were created to praise God.

That’s right. We find true joy, true fulfillment, when we realize there’s Someone bigger than us. Someone greater than us. Someone worthy of every bit of praise we can give.

If you’ve not really had praise for God well up in your heart lately (or ever!), I pray that you will today.

And if you’re still trying to fill that God-shaped vacuum with other things, I pray you’ll allow God to fill you with Himself and satisfy that longing for your real Home

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Open in your browser to hear “Indescribable” by Chris Tomlin and please sing along–out loud or in your heart.

And here’s a bonus video of Chris singing about “Home.”

Dec 10

For Those Without the Christmas Spirit

It’s the time of year when people talk about “getting in the Christmas spirit.” I’m not exactly sure what is meant by that phrase, but it certainly implies feeling joy and excitement for celebrating this yuletide season (like attending a CeCe Winans’ Christmas concert!)

But what about those who aren’t “in” the spirit? Those who are deeply grieving  the death of a loved one. Those who are battling depression and can barely get out of bed. Those whose hearts are breaking over a family member’s addiction. Those whose spirits are crushed by a spouse’s betrayal.

What do weary folks like these need to do at this time of year?

That’s the situation in which my friend Connie found herself back in 2004 just three months after her 47-year-old husband Brad collapsed and died while doing light construction work at a Guatemalan orphanage.  Facing the Christmas season without her “best friend, soul mate and life partner” was overwhelming.

“I felt terrible that because of Brad’s death I did not want to celebrate Jesus’ birth,” Connie recalls. “There is an unending ache in my heart and I just want him to come home–I just want to see him again.”

Thankfully, a good friend gave her some insight that helped ease the young widow’s holiday pain.

He asked and answered a question for her: “Do you want to know what Jesus is doing this Christmas season?…He’s weeping. He’s weeping with you.”

I love that image. Jesus wasn’t urging Connie to get in the spirit of the season. He wasn’t chiding her for expressing the painful feelings. The Lord wasn’t disappointed that she couldn’t just put a smile on her face.  He didn’t care whether she had a Christmas tree or sent out holiday cards or baked cut-out cookies.

No, He wept with her because her world had been rocked and her spirit was crushed.

Perhaps that’s how you feel this holiday season or maybe someone you love is struggling to “get in the spirit” because of their painful circumstances. Or perhaps you have a little of the “Christmas spirit,” but think you should do more.

What a great time to show grace either to yourself or someone else.

That mental picture of Jesus weeping with Connie in her grief helped her believe that her Lord truly did understand what she was feeling…even if no one else really could. She stopped worrying about a holiday to-do list and instead prayed:

“Just for today, I need to see Jesus.
Just for today, I need to seek Jesus.
Just for today, I need to serve Jesus.”

She celebrated the Savior…without the Christmas spirit. And I believe all of us weary ones can too.

“Somewhere in your silent nightHeaven hears the song your broken heart has cried.Hope is here, just lift your headFor love has come to find youSomewhere in your silent night.”

 

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Open in your browser and click “Watch on YouTube” small arrow in bottom left corner to hear the beautiful song “Somewhere in You Silent Night” by Casting Crowns.

 

 

 

 

Nov 26

When Life is “One Holy, Messy Struggle”

Weary…I’m guessing either you feel it or someone you love does.

I looked up  the word “weary” in my little Random House pocket dictionary of synonyms and antonyms I’ve had since my college journalism days and synonyms include: exhausted, tired, fatigued, spent, impatient, dissatisfied, tedious, and irksome.

Any of those describe you or your loved one these days?

There are so many things for which I’m grateful, like grandkids nearby (with a cuddly new family member!). And yet there are so many hurts piling up.  A cousin enduring chemo; another one awaiting biopsy results. Friends burying their young son. Marriages on the verge of break-up. Christians without compassion for others created in God’s image. A massive stroke paralyzing a wonderful husband and father. And six months of pain/doctors/scans/therapies after my “treadmill takedown.” (But that’s a story for another blog.)

If I‘m honest, I’m sad and grieving in the midst of Thanksgiving week. Yes, I am weary.

Shannon Adducci, a self-described “wife, mom, singer-songwriter, worship leader, trauma-survivor, mountain-lover, and Christ-follower,” once blogged about her emotional struggles:

“I have been programmed through the years to think I should just be able to choose gratitude at all times and, in every instance, flip weariness or sadness on its head and replace it with the spirit of joy – with the help of a handy, hip-pocket Scripture, of course!

“And, certainly, there is a place for simply choosing joy and gratitude. I do it often. But it also is incredibly important to honor the deep emotions we might be experiencing, lest they fester unattended and infect our souls.

“So, what if it doesn’t have to be one or the other of these? Not joy instead of sadness. Or recovery in lieu of grief. Or breakthrough eclipsing stuck-ness. What if it is actually OK to be in it all at the same time? …

“What if it could all be one holy, messy struggle and me not feel guilty about it?...

“So, here’s the good news…Even in my utter weariness, Jesus offers me an invitation and not a rejection slip. ‘Come to me,’ He whispers. ‘Not after you recover, but in order to recover.’

“Jesus fully and gently acknowledges exactly where you and I are and encourages us to hang out with Him in our most depleted state.” *

Let’s cling to the truth in the words of the beautiful Christmas hymn, O Holy Night written in 1847 by Adolphe Adam:

Long lay the world in sin and error pining
‘Til He appears and the soul felt its worth
A thrill of hope the weary world rejoices
For yonder breaks a new and glorious morn.
Fall on your knees; O hear the Angel voices!
O night divine, O night when Christ was born
O night, O Holy night, O night divine!

Thank You, Lord, for coming to our weary world and calling us into Your presence where we can find rest.

*©2020 Shannon Adducci. Bold emphasis mine.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Open in your browser to hear the encouraging words in Shannon Wexelberg Adducci’s song “Whole Heart.”

 

Oct 29

Not Your Average Survivor

It’s no exaggeration to say that Tom Wilkinson is not your average survivor.

For one thing, he’s a 16-year survivor of stage 4 head and neck cancer. And secondly, he believes he knows exactly how and why he received that diagnosis.

Rewind to 2008 when Tom, then a 56-year-old brewers grains company vice-president was plagued with earaches and a sore throat.

“The antibiotics would knock it out for a while and then it was back,” he recalls.

In August of that year, Tom was ready to lead a team of mostly young people to Germany where they would minister to the locals through a “sports and English camp.” But the day before  departure, Tom’s  new Ear, Nose and Throat specialist called with his imaging results.

“He said I needed to come in the morning for a biopsy, because he saw a tumor and I probably had cancer,” Tom remembers.

But Tom was a man on a mission–literally–and told the ENT he would get the biopsy when he returned. Ten days later he arrived for the procedure, but while he was away, a lump appeared on his neck and grew to golf-ball size.  A biopsy confirmed stage 4 tonsil cancer.

The first surgeon Tom and his wife Dee saw was pretty discouraging, so they sought out a doctor-acquaintance at their church–even though they had no idea what kind of physician he was.

The doctor said Tom “absolutely” should get a second opinion and offered to get him an appointment ASAP at the hospital where he just happened to be head of the ENT department!

An evaluation led to intra-oral surgery, a technique which uses a laser to cut through soft tissues without the usual scalpel trauma. It took 18 painstaking hours to remove his tonsils,  resect both sides of his neck and extract 43 lymph nodes.

Tom spent nearly three weeks in the hospital, followed by radiation and chemo which left him “pretty spent.” He lost 30 pounds in a month, but never needed a feeding tube thanks to Dee’s excellent management of his liquid nutrition.

At Tom’s 5-year appointment in 2013, his doctor pronounced him cured.

Like other cancer survivors, Tom is extremely grateful for “extra” time to have seen all six of his children married, 15 grandchildren born and celebrated 47 years of marriage.

Doctors said Tom’s cancer was a sexually transmitted one caused by high-risk HPV (human papilloma virus). Nearly all people are infected with HPV soon after becoming sexually active, but most infections are cleared by the body’s immune system. Studies show that multiple sexual partners increases the risk of HPV-related cancers.

“I had been wild and crazy in college (at Virginia Tech) before I came to know the Lord a few years later,” Tom acknowledges. “I had many years of indiscretions as a young man and it came back to haunt me.

“So I never struggled over why I had this: I knew why I had it,” Tom explains. “It was a consequence of my sin. I don’t believe it’s a punishment; it’s just a consequence,”

When I asked Tom what got him through the treatments and recovery, he quickly mentioned Psalm 145.

“Three or four people shared that psalm with us and it became our mantra,” he says. “I memorized it and still recite the first ten verses every day.”

I will exalt you, my God and King,
    and praise your name forever and ever.
 I will praise you every day;
    yes, I will praise you forever.
 Great is the Lord! He is most worthy of praise!
    No one can measure his greatness.
Let each generation tell its children of your mighty acts;
    let them proclaim your power.
Psalm 145:1-4

Perhaps not the average way to start the day…but then, Tom Wilkinson is not your average survivor.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Open in your browser  and click on  the “Watch on YouTube” arrow  to hear “Praise the Lord (Psalm 145)” by Bishop Jos Tharakan.

 

Oct 08

A Real-Life Hero

Andrew Sone has met many interesting people–some good, others very bad–in his years as a parole officer, a Megan’s Law predator unit member, a clinical social worker and finally a therapist.  But there’s only one person he calls his hero.

“If anyone asks who’s my hero, I always say ‘my wife’,” explains 54-year-old Andrew, who has been married to Jennifer for 22 years.

To be clear, Jennifer was his hero even before she was diagnosed with cancer last summer, but her cancer journey “has just solidified it.”

Jennifer, 49, doesn’t feel like a hero. She’s physically weak, has trouble concentrating, and still misses her long hair.

Last year, she knew something wasn’t right health- wise, but it took a few months to finally get to the correct medical specialist, who could order the proper tests.

“I was crying when I first saw my scan results (online) and my initial words were: ‘I can’t believe I’m dying’,” Jennifer recalls.  “Then a few weeks later when the doctor sat me down and told me it was stage 4, I lost it again.”

Jennifer’s diagnosis of ovarian cancer spread to the lining of the lung, liver and diaphragm “was surreal,” Andrew recalls. “It’s something you never think would happen; cancer applies to someone else.”

Jennifer (before cancer) & her dog Kapua

In the fall of last year, Jennifer had chemo and surgery to shrink the 10-cm ovarian mass. That was followed by HIPEC, an aggressive surgical technique which bathes the abdominal cavity in a heated, concentrated chemo solution designed to kill residual cancer cells. Then she started  “maintenance” chemo and a PARP-inhibitor (targeted therapy that helps cells repair damaged DNA)–a regimen scheduled to be  every three weeks for two years.

Follow-up scans and blood work continue to deliver good news:  NED (No Evidence of Disease).

Andrew credits his hero-wife’s “passionate love affair with God” for guiding her through these difficult months, including her beloved dog passing away.

“Jen’s walk with the Lord is unwavering.”

“God really sustains me,” Jennifer  explains. “I just can’t believe all He’s gotten me through. We are all 100-percent in need of God all the time, but (Andrew and I) were just so helpless after my diagnosis, we really felt how much we needed Him.”

Andrew agrees and says it seemed like “the wind was knocked out of me and my faith was redefined to truly understand ‘dependency’.

“Some of the most powerful prayers I prayed contained just one word: Jesus. That one word said ‘I am completely dependent on You’.”

Jennifer acknowledges her share of “crying spells,” but says she always finds strength in Isaiah 41:10:

The couple recently started a “Praying thru Cancer” support group in their hometown of Myrtle Beach in hopes of encouraging others on difficult cancer journeys. They also regularly give away copies of 50 Days of Hope, the book a co-worker gave Jen and which led her to contact me.

Through our correspondence, I discovered that for many years the Sones lived in Pennsylvania and that her parents still live just a few miles from my home. So when the couple came this summer to visit family, we made plans to meet for breakfast.

I’m not sure who was more excited: Jennifer or me!

“I told everyone this is my Make-a-Wish to meet you,” she said with tears in her eyes.

But with tears in my eyes, I knew I had the gift of hugging a real-life hero of the faith.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Please open in your browser to hear “I Will Fear No More” by The Afters.