Trying to Feel God’s Presence

Ever have days (weeks, months?) when you just can’t seem to feel God’s presence?

It’s not because you’re out robbing banks or tripping little old ladies. In fact, you’re not really doing anything “wrong,” and actually may be you’re doing the “right” things–praying, reading the Bible, worshipping with other believers. But the connection just isn’t there.

That was my dilemma recently. I kept going through the motions and even though I’m not a real touchy-feely person, what I really longed for was to feel God’s loving presence.

Reading more scripture didn’t change my mood, talking longer to God hadn’t helped my malaise, and singing louder didn’t do the trick.

I kept watching for something big to produce the close, connected feeling I missed.

And then out of nowhere, when I didn’t expect it…God answered.

I had switched my morning devotional book at least three times in recent weeks as I searched to find one that would “scratch the itch” in my soul. Finally, I went to my basement library and again looked through all my old devotionals. I pulled out a small hardback copy of ALL I NEED, which I had read probably a couple of decades ago.

I went back upstairs to my La-Z-Boy recliner and hot tea, book in hand. I turned to that day’s reading to see if it seemed like I might connect with its message.

It was entitled “HIS DAILY PRESENCE.” Nothing flashy, eye-opening or heart-stopping there, but it seemed relevant. I couldn’t remember when or how I had gotten this book so I turned to the front pages for a clue.

The simple inscription in beautiful penmanship, which I recognized right away was from my dear friend Carolyn Dunn, who passed away in November. I always called her my mentor, but had forgotten her words to me:

To Lynn, a sister mentor–Carolyn

The dam of unshed tears broke as I wept openly for my precious friend. I hadn’t said anything to anyone about how terribly I missed her and wished I could talk with her.

But God knew.  And His whispered message was loud and clear: I see your grief. I’ve heard your cries. I love you and gave this message today to remind you.

God-whisper. God-wink.  Godsend. People have all kinds of names for these divine “coincidences.”

Whatever the term, it reminds me of when the Jewish prophet Elijah was feeling overwhelmed, exhausted and ready to give up. He cried out to God and this is how the Almighty responded:

“And as Elijah stood there, the Lord passed by, and a mighty windstorm hit the mountain. It was such a terrible blast that the rocks were torn loose, but the Lord was not in the wind. After the wind there was an earthquake, but the Lord was not in the earthquake. And after the earthquake there was a fire, but the Lord was not in the fire. And after the fire there was the sound of a gentle whisper.
–1 Kings 19:11-12

As the song below says: “You whisper love when I feel lost, You whisper peace at any cost. No shout or sign, just quiet grace, Enough to hold me in this place. Your silence isn’t absence, Lord— It’s where Your deepest truths are stored. You speak in whispers, calm and true. And in the quiet… I hear You.”

Dear friend, if you are yearning to hear God’s voice: Keep on asking. Keep on seeking. Keep on knocking. He will answer…and it just might be a whisper.

P.S. As I was writing this blog, I realized it would post three days before what would have been Carolyn’s 82nd birthday. Another Godwink?
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Open in your browser to hear the short song “God Whispers” from Ambient Sounds.