Category: trust

Nov 07

Nothing Can Steal This Clown’s Joy

My friend Bunnie is a redheaded, retired heavy equipment operator with a delightful New England accent who loves to laugh. On weekends she “clowns” around at the local Dairy Queen whipping up balloons and smiles for children. On weekdays she takes off her clown make-up and cooks hot meals, which she joyfully delivers to the homeless folks in a nearby neighborhood.

Did I mention that she has stage 4 tongue cancer, carries her portable oxygen tank everywhere and is on hospice?

The year before her diagnosis, Bunnie moved to Florida and wondered what she would do in her post-retirement life.

“I was laughing so much, I dreamt I should be a clown,” she recalls with a chuckle. Bunnie Googled “clown schools,” found one only two hours from her new home, took the courses, and became a member of the Fellowship of Christian Magicians.

Then she began volunteering at her local Dairy Queen, performing magic tricks and twisting balloons into animal shapes. While the children enjoyed their ice cream, she shared character-building stories and told them about God’s love for them.

But in August 2013, the shows stopped when Bunnie was diagnosed with inoperable tongue cancer. Doctors told her that without chemo and radiation, she probably had six months to live. She was devastated with that prognosis, but resolute in her faith: “You can even take my tongue, and I’ll still find a way to share the gospel,” she announced to her doctor.

Bunnie had thirty-five radiation and eight chemo treatments. Following a two-week hiatus, she was back clowning at Dairy Queen.

After she read a copy of my first book, When God & Cancer Meet, Bunnie felt as if God were telling her to share her story by giving away copies of that book. So she bought dozens and passed them out to cancer patients and caregivers.

Then in May 2015 more bad news–a scan showed the cancer had spread to her lungs.

“I was really, really devastated for a little while—for maybe an hour or something,” she told me, chuckling on the phone, after we became Facebook friends. “The Lord said, ‘You’re still here for Me and I’m going to use you right here at the cancer center.’”

She headed back for more treatment and armed with more books (a final total of 425, she says!).

Think about it…Bunnie had every reason to be bitter—a devastating cancer diagnosis in a new state with no family nearby, just when she was ready to relax and enjoy retirement. Cancer of the tongue when she loves to talk fast and laugh often.

But Bunnie knows what I hope you do too—that your purpose in life never changes. It is the same whether you or your loved one has a lot of cancer, a little cancer, or no cancer. Your purpose in life—and mine—is to know God and love Him more, and to help others know God and love Him more.

Bunnie says her life verse is the same one I have chosen in my retirement:
“My life is worth nothing to me unless I use it for finishing the task assigned to me by the Lord Jesus
—the work of telling others the Good News about the wonderful grace of God.” Acts 20:24

As long as you have breath (even if it’s from an oxygen tank), God is not finished with you!

Excerpted from Peace in the Face of Cancer ©2017 Lynn Eib. All rights reserved.

UPDATE: In 2018 Bunnie passed away, 4.5 years after her initial diagnosis.
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Please enjoy the incredible testimony and original song “These Walls” from Jason Davis, the pastor who lost 80-percent of his tongue to cancer.

Oct 24

A Diagnosis Bringing Life…Not Death

Cancer could have killed her, but instead it’s teaching her how to live.

That’s how my friend Kim DeVries describes the past four years since a breast cancer diagnosis at the age of 51 rocked her world.

“I used to say ‘maybe someday I’ll do that,’ but now it’s more like ‘I’m going to do that!'” explains Kim, who recently hiked 20 miles at high elevation near her Colorado home.

She and Curt, her husband of 33 years, used to talk about “someday checking out” scenic sights. Now they’re more likely to say “Let’s go this weekend.”

And since finishing her surgery and radiation, Kim says she “appreciates the little things in life more.”

Photo taken from Kim’s yard

“I’ve always enjoyed watching sunrises and sunsets, but I appreciate them even more now,” she says. “Small things like a good cup of coffee, I take note of more easily.  And I see and appreciate the little details in nature more.”

Kim. a part-time library administrative assistant, says her cancer diagnosis “came as a complete shock.” No family history of breast cancer and no indications there was anything amiss until the tumor showed up on a mammogram.

Fortunately the cancer was caught early, but for a few weeks after the surgery, she waited anxiously to hear whether the tumor’s characteristics would require chemo.

“As I was relaxing one Sunday afternoon on the back deck of my house,” Kim recalls, “a house finch sitting on the deck railing looked directly at me and sang.

“The instant the bird flew away I heard a still, small voice saying, ‘Be still and know that I am God.’ I knew that no matter what happened God was in control and taking care of me.”

Shortly afterward, Kim and Curt were taking a walk and she decided to discuss a ministry called “Be Still and Know” with her husband…a self-admitted worrier.

“I feel like there’s something I’m supposed to be doing with all this,” Kim said as she explained her idea for “encouragement bags” for patients and caregivers with items that helped bring her peace during her cancer journey.

Curt’s response surprised and thrilled her; “I love that idea and if God has laid that on your heart, I’m not even worried about the cost.”

In 2021 Kim began putting bags together in her laundry room and handing them out for free to local cancer centers and churches. By 2022, she had a designated room in their home for the operation and to date, Kim estimates about 1,440 encouragement bags have been gifted.

At first, Kim hand stenciled “Let your Faith be Bigger than your Fear” on each bag, but eventually hired a supplier to do that job. However, she still personally packs and prays over each bag.

“We want to be a light in the dark for others and show that God is with them,” Kim says.

Recently, Curt heard from a business associate that her dear friend had stage 4 cancer, so he offered to send a bag.

“We have no idea whether this friend knew God before her diagnosis,” Kim says, “but on three separate occasions Curt’s business contact has specifically brought up that the Be Still and Know bag has changed her friend’s life. The friend has even  read the book (50 Days of Hope) twice!”

“Be still, be calm, see, and understand I am the True God.” Psalm 46:10 The Voice Bible

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ ++++++++++++++++Be Still and Know is a 501(c) nonprofit, https://www.bestillandknowinc.org which is funded solely through individual donors. You can donate online to have a bag sent to either a male or female patient, or a caregiver. https://www.facebook.com/BeStillandKnowInc  

Open in your browser to hear “Be Still and Know” by Stephen Curtis Chapman.

Sep 26

Family Additions: My oncologist has cancer (Part 11)

Not only is my oncologist Dr. Marc Hirsh alive and well 3.5 years after pretty much everyone expected him to die, but his family is growing.

On the same day this month that he got the good news from Hershey Medical that the 2.5-inch tumor behind his heart is still stable, he officially gained another granddaughter! Daughter Sarah adopted  a precious 3-year-old girl, whom the single mom has fostered since she was about 18 months old.

“The official adoption proceedings were great,” Marc told me on the phone a few days ago. “Social services had a big party afterwards for everyone and then Sarah had a party on the weekend with a huge blow-up water slide. It was great!”

The newest Hirsh joins big brother Levi, 9, and  another foster child whom Sarah has had since she was just a few months old.

The other new Hirsh family member is even younger…but much bigger.

Meet Boondock, a loving golden retriever who weighed about 80 pounds at 16 months when he came to Marc and Elizabeth.

Ouachita Lake State Park, Arkansas

Even though they’re both bonafide dog lovers, neither had planned on getting another dog after Marc’s beloved Jake had to be put down in 2020. But when the sweet, golden pup needed a home, it was clear to them that they should welcome “Boonie” into their house…and their 19-foot RV.

“He’s a very good traveler,” Marc said. “He really enjoys the RV although he’s too big to turn around in it and has to back up.”

Boondock is “very comfortable in small spaces” and “scrunches up” into the crawl space below the Hirshes’ bed when they lower it for sleeping, Marc said.

The three of them have plans to go out West and visit daughter Jessi and family in Oregon, with plenty of scenic stops along the way.

“I pick out all the routes and areas I want to see and make all the camping reservations,” Marc explained. “I’m the navigator and Elizabeth does all the driving.”

I asked Marc, 72, how it feels to be surviving a rare, incurable cancer for this long.

“I get anxious a couple of weeks before I go in (for a 6-month recheck) because I still have symptoms,” he acknowledged. “I get winded more easily now and you never know whether it’s old age or something else. I definitely have ‘scanxiety’ and it’s good to get a normal report.”

But he refuses to cower in cancer’s shadow, fretting about the future.

“I’m just kind of at this place where I’m really happy to be alive and have a (sound) mind and be with people I love,” he explained.

Biblehub.com

“Living in the moment really gives me peace,” he added. “I don’t worry about tomorrow. I want to be grateful and concentrate on living for today. I’m not worrying about cancer.”

P.S. Marc is moving his semi-annual checkups to summer and winter so the family can more easily take long road trips in the fall and spring.  Next check-up and blog update: June 2024.

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Open in your browser to enjoy  “You’re Always Here (Psalm 23)” by Rich Mullins, Marc and Elizabeth’s favorite Christian artist. (I wish it was better audio, but the words are still powerful.)

 

 

 

 

 

Sep 12

The Tale of Two Towers

Two “tower” options…which would you prefer?


An 11-day visit to Paris, including the Eiffel Tower, Louvre, Notre Dame, Sainte-Chapelle and all-you-can-eat meals on a week-long riverboat cruise up the Seine.

Or a 12-day stay at Pottstown Hospital-Tower Health, including 10 days without eating or drinking, an NG tube, a PICC line and a bowel resection.

Is your choice made? Yeah, I thought mine was, too. But that was before the worst pain and nausea of my life convinced me to go to the ER late on the night of Aug. 12.

A CT scan showed a small bowel obstruction and I was admitted the next morning.

Did I mention that our suitcases were packed for our nonstop Paris flight leaving that night with traveling companions Bud and Carol Russell?  Oh, and by the way, this was to be an early celebration of our 50th wedding anniversary coming in December!

Doctors and we decided to wait-and-see if the twisted loops would untangle themselves. We enlisted family and friends to pray and I changed our departing flight from Sunday to Wednesday night, in hopes we could still make the cruise which began Thursday afternoon.

Meanwhile, a thin, flexible plastic nasogastric tube was inserted in my nose, down my throat and esophagus, and into my stomach to suction out its contents.  A few ice chips became the only item on my daily menu.

By Tuesday afternoon it seemed obvious that the bowel was not going to untwist itself in time and I canceled our Paris flight, notified the cruise ship and the travel insurance companies. On Friday, I was in the operating room having a bowel resection–eerily reminiscent of 33 years ago when I had a colon resection, but thankfully, this time without a cancer diagnosis.

I stayed in the hospital another week post-surgery, while my seven grandkids all prayed for Grandma to pass gas (marching and shouting “Fart! Fart!”). 

I’ve been home a little over two weeks now and am trying to build up my stamina, find food that tastes good, gain weight, and get my digestive system settled into another new normal.

Homecoming day–exhausted, but had to wash my hair!

I debated about whether to even write about this ordeal, but I’ve tried to be so honest and transparent in my books and blogs that it just didn’t feel right not letting people know.  Still, I worried about sharing my story when so many of you have tons of stress in your life already. And  besides, I know that missing out on an amazing trip is nothing compared to so many other losses.  I also thought perhaps I should wait to write until I had some profound piece of wisdom or spiritual gem learned from all this, but nothing materialized.

(Of course, I’m thankful that God didn’t allow this to happen on the 7-hour flight or after we arrived in a foreign country. But if I’m honest, I wish He would have delayed it until after we got back home!)

 

Last week a question posed in a Rick Warren devotion got me thinking: “What about the problems you’re going through right now–they’re a test of your faithfulness. Will you continue to serve God even when life stinks?”

So here’s my “wisdom”: life STINKS, but I will serve God no matter what.

I make this choice because I agree with Babbie Mason “When you don’t understand. When you can’t see His plan. When you can’t trace His hand, trust His heart.”

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Open in your browser to hear Babbie Mason sing this beautiful song “Trust His Heart.”

 

 

 

 

 

Jul 26

What Happened when I Didn’t Feel Thankful

Photo by Alexas_Fotos on Unsplash

Struggles and afflictions in life produce an assortment of emotions…thankfulness is not usually one of them. In 1990 when I found out my cells had gone awry and allowed cancer to grow inside me, gratefulness was about the last thing I felt.

But I kept thinking about the Bible verse to “give thanks in all circumstances” (1 Thessalonians 5:18). I knew it didn’t mean I had to praise God for ­every­ awful thing, but instead, that I could have a thankful heart even in the midst of awful things.

So a few weeks after my diagnosis, I looked for something for which to be thankful.

Summer 1989

Let’s see . . . I have cancer at the age of 36 after taking good care of myself. No…can’t think of anything worthy of thanks there.

My three little girls may have to grow up without a mother. Nope, that ­doesn’t work either.

My husband already has buried one wife and now I have a  60-percent chance of dying soon. Naw, that isn’t inspiring any words of praise.

­I’m going to have to take toxic chemotherapy, when I ­don’t even like to take an aspirin. Not much there to feel grateful about.

Finally, it came to me.

Dr.  Marc Hirsh! I have a Messianic ­Jewish oncologist—who knows, maybe the world’s ­only Messianic ­Jewish oncologist—who last year began practicing medicine just seven miles from my home.

For the first time since hearing the words “you have cancer,” I thanked God in the midst of my devastation.

Father, you know I ­don’t feel any thankfulness, but I want to thank You for leading Dr. Marc Hirsh here to be my doctor.

I can ­only imagine God smiling and saying, “Now you’re getting it. Just wait and see how ­really thankful you’re going to be when I use this doctor to bless and change your life.”

©Kevin Glibert, “Physician” Magazine

The short story of what happened with our “doctor-patient relationship” is that our families became close friends and in 1996, Marc and his wife offered me a position as a patient advocate providing emotional and spiritual care to his cancer patients and their caregivers.

I ­can’t imagine what my life would have been like without being a patient advocate for nearly 20 years. It’s incredible to me what one small prayer of thankfulness set in motion.

Dear friend, I don’t know what trial or heartache you’re facing, but I’m wondering if you have found anything for which to be thankful in the midst of your circumstances?

The Old Testament prophet Habakkuk penned a wonderful example of thankfulness even when everything around him was going wrong:

Even though the fig trees have no blossoms,
And though there are no grapes on the vines;
Even though the olive crop fails,
And the fields lie empty and barren;
Even though the flocks die in the fields,
And the cattle barns are empty,

Yet I will rejoice in the LORD!

I will be joyful in the God of my salvation! Habakkuk 3:17,18

Go ahead, be thankful in all things—even when the chemo hair follicles have no “blossoms,” even though your strength “fails”” and even though your dreams “lie empty and barren.” Go ahead and rejoice in the Lord because a prayer of thanksgiving can unleash the power of God in truly amazing ways.
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Be sure to open in your browser to hear “Good God Almighty” by Crowder ©2021.