Category: peace

Mar 17

Heard any insensitive remarks lately?

 

“Oh, my grandmother had that kind of cancer—she didn’t last long.”

“My neighbor has what you have—he’s in so much pain.”

“I thought you’d be over this grieving by now.”

Heard any such insensitive (dare I say “stupid”) remarks?  I think I’ve heard them all and then some.

I remember bumping into a church friend at the grocery store shortly after I my cancer diagnosis in 1990. She apologized for not being in touch with me.

“I thought I heard you were going to die. I didn’t know if that was true, so I just didn’t know what to do,” she quickly spit out.

She kept babbling for a while, and I remember I ended up trying to comfort her in the fresh vegetable aisle.

Ken ready for the annual Ride For Roswell Cancer Center fundraiser.

I think relatives, friends, and acquaintances are usually at a loss for words when they hear about someone’s diagnosis or recurrence, so they say something to either a.) try to identify with the person or b.) try to lift their spirits. Often they succeed with neither, especially when they immediately begin spouting Bible verses.

Someone started quoting scripture to my western New York friend Ken just moments after he was given the devastating news of tongue cancer requiring life-altering surgery, radiation, and chemotherapy.

“I only heard the first few words and wanted to scream at my friend, ‘Stop! Just stop!’” Ken still recalls 19 cancer-free years later.

First Lady Eleanor Roosevelt

I’m willing to bet you can remember some not-very-helpful comments made to you or your loved one. How do we handle such insensitivity?

I like the advice attributed to first lady Eleanor Roosevelt: “To handle yourself, use your head; to handle others, use your heart.”

Do you think my friend at the grocery store saw me standing by the romaine lettuce and thought, “I’ll walk over to Lynn and say something that will make her feel really bad?”

Of course not. I’m sure her heart was feeling love for me and concern over my well-being, however poorly she expressed it. And the same was surely true for Ken’s Bible-quoting friend.

Think about the last  life-struggle conversation you had with someone that left you feeling worse instead of better. Ask yourself whether you think that was the person’s intention. If yes, I recommend you speak with someone who can help you establish healthy boundaries with a spiteful person!

But if you answered no, then ignore that person’s words and just hear his or her heart for you.

Photo by Humphrey Muleba on Unsplash

We always want people to give us the benefit of the doubt or cut us some slack, but we have to admit, it’s not always easy to do the same for others—especially when our world has been rocked by a life-altering event. Our emotions are fragile, our bodies are hurting, and our spirits can be wounded easily. That makes it hard to be patient with well-meaning but insensitive folks.

So if you want to find peace in the face of life’s difficulties, use your head to handle yourself and your heart to handle others. And most of all, keep both your heart and mind open to receive the Lord’s perfect peace.

I am leaving you with a gift—peace of mind and heart.
 And the peace I give is a gift the world cannot give.
So don’t be troubled or afraid. –Jesus speaking in John 14:27

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Be sure to open in your browser to hear the music video “Perfect Peace” by Laura Story

Feb 03

The Truth about Shadows

 

Sunset shadows as grandpa fishes with our granddaughters.

In grade-school science, you probably learned that a shadow is caused by the absence of light when an opaque (not see-through) object has absorbed the light. And that shadows fall opposite their light source.

That’s why your shadow is in front of you if the sun is behind you and vice versa. The way you’re facing determines whether or not you can see your shadow.

I know this is a simple scientific fact, but it is a profound spiritual truth for facing tough times: You have to keep facing the light in order not to so easily see life’s troubling shadows.

Are you old enough to remember in 1998 when the Galaxy IV communications satellite malfunctioned and rotated out of position, turning away from the earth? In an instant millions of pagers went silent, TV and radio stations couldn’t transmit, and even some gas pumps couldn’t accept credit cards. It all happened because just one satellite in the heavens turned the wrong way and couldn’t communicate with earth.

Perhaps your circumstances have gotten you out of position spiritually. You can’t figure out how a loving God would allow this situation in your life or your loved one’s. Maybe you even feel at times as if your prayers have not been heard. I hope you will check to see which way you are facing so you truly can communicate with the Lord–pouring out your heart to the One who hears, who understands, and who has the power to respond.

Once you’re facing the right direction, you also can choose to live under a different shadow. Now I know it sounds strange that you could find light by being under a shadow, but it’s true.

The shadow I want you to move under—or stay under if you’re already there—is a much, much bigger shadow than the pall cast by any of life’s struggles. It’s a safe, secure, protective shadow. There’s no other shadow that can eclipse this one. And underneath it, we’re not in the dark; we’re supernaturally in the light.

Those who live in the shelter of the Most High
will find rest in the shadow of the Almighty. Psalm 91:1

The shadow of the Almighty.

I love that word picture. Can you see yourself with a dark cloud of pain–physical, emotional, mental or spiritual–over your head, moving under the huge shadow of God Himself? Standing underneath His shadow, you can barely even see the little shadow-speck of the difficulties you’re facing.

He has hidden me in the shadow of his hand. Isaiah 49:2

Image by Franck Barske from Pixabay

Have you ever put your arms around a child during a storm and drawn them close to you as protection from the rain and the noise? Have you ever seen a mother hen spread her wings and gather her little chicks to safety as danger approached? Those are images the Bible gives of God’s love and care for us.

How precious is your unfailing love, O God!
All humanity finds shelter
in the shadow of your wings. Psalm 36:7

May I pray for you today? Almighty God, please help my friend to live not under the shadow of a pandemic, or an illness or of any of  life’s tough circumstances, but instead under Your protective shadow. And there, let my friend feel your unfailing love and find rest. Amen.

Excerpted from Finding the Light in Cancer’s Shadow ©2006 by Lynn Eib. All rights reserved.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Make sure to open this blog in your browser to hear the music video, “Savior’s Shadow” by Blake Shelton.

Jan 20

Living with an “Empty Spot”: My Oncologist Has Cancer (Part 5)

Marc celebrating Hanukkah with granddaughters Estella, 7, and Lily, 10.

It’s been more than four months since I’ve interviewed Dr. Marc Hirsh about his journey with a rare cancer, so I called him a few days ago.

“Just got back from a half-hour run with (older daughter)Jessi’s two dogs,” Marc said on the phone as he fixed himself a glass of juice.

“You’re jogging?” I asked incredulously.

“Yeah, I don’t jog fast,” Marc replied. “I’ve also been skiing six times and am punching the heavy bag. I’m pretty much doing everything I used to–just at a lower level.”

Not bad for a 69-year-old man who doctors said last spring could expect to die soon after being diagnosed with atypical carcinoid of the thymus gland–a cancer so rare there are only about 160 documented cases.

“People thought I was going to die,” Marc recalled. “But I feel good and I don’t feel like I have any recurrence symptoms. I only have mild chest pain, which hasn’t changed for months.”

In March he heads back to Hershey Medical Center for blood work and a CT scan to assess how well he’s doing clinically after completing his self-determined treatment of radiation, oral chemo and a hormone shot in September.

“I’m pleasantly surprised how the last six months have gone since I finished treatment and have been enjoying life,” he said.

With both his daughters and three grandchildren spending extended time at his home during the pandemic, Marc’s recent days have been filled with his wife and him giving “a lot of piano lessons,” reading countless books, and celebrating the holidays.“I know (the odds are) I’m probably going to die in a couple years, but I’m still not convinced of that,” Marc added. “I’ve come to terms with that and I’m not obsessed with it.”

One of the scriptures that Marc, a Messianic Jew for 40 years, finds most helpful is Philippians 4:6,7:

Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything,
by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving,
present your requests to God.
And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding,
will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.

“Be anxious for nothing is what I try to live by,” he added.

Photo by Benjamin Earwicker from FreeImages

Still Marc acknowledged there are struggles which have come with having to close his Hanover, Pa., practice immediately after the diagnosis.

“I miss not seeing all my patients and I miss going into the office and being an oncologist,” he told me. “It’s definitely an empty spot in me.

“When I think about all those patients, I miss them, and I wonder how they’re doing,” Marc added. “I do love them and miss them–it’s really an empty spot.”

He also said he misses our semi-annual Cancer Prayer Support Group dessert concerts, when 50-100 patients and their family members would show up for food, fellowship and fabulous music with Marc on keyboard, saxophone and sometimes harmonica.

“I miss the summer and the Christmas concerts,” he said. “Maybe sometime if I’m still feeling well and the pandemic is over, I can play some music again for everyone. But if not here, definitely in the afterlife!”

I was glad to hear him say that because I, for one, already have been praying to hear another earthly concert.

(P.S. If you want to be in touch with Marc, you can send mail to: 3601 Lakeview Rd., Spring Grove, PA 17362, or subscribe to his blog at https://marchirshmd.wordpress.com . For Parts 1-4 in this series, see posts on 9/30; 8/19; 8/12;  and 8/5.)

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Be sure to open in your browser to enjoy the song below “Sometimes by Step,” by Rich Mullins, Marc and Elizabeth’s favorite Christian artist.

Dec 02

“She stood in the storm and when the wind did not blow her way—and surely it has not—she adjusted her sails.” –Elizabeth Edwards

 

I think it was quite an understatement when Elizabeth Edwards, wife of then-U.S. Senator and former Democratic presidential candidate, John Edwards asserted that the wind had not blown her way.

Elizabeth’s firstborn was killed in a car accident at the age of 17. Later while she was fighting recurrent breast cancer, her husband had an affair resulting in an out-of-wedlock child. After six years of a very public battle with cancer, Elizabeth passed away in 2010 at the age of 61.

Definitely not the way anyone would choose the wind to blow.

My friend Jen has been learning to “adjust her sails” since a frightening storm crashed into her happy life July 23, 2012.

That’s the day the 32-year-old wife and mother of a 2 ½ -year-old was told she had stage 4 ovarian cancer and wouldn’t live past Christmas.

“Our lives were shaken with fear and disbelief over the crazy thought of dying,” Jen recalls.

Three weeks later she saw an oncologist who informed the young couple her diagnosis was not ovarian cancer, but GIST (Gastrointestinal Stromal Tumor), a rare tumor of the digestive tract.  At first Jen and husband Ryan were relieved, but quickly “were crushed” to find out there was no cure for GIST.

“I was told then that I would need to be on chemo for the rest of my life and would probably face upwards of ten surgeries during my lifetime,” Jen remembers.

“Never in a million years did I think this would be my journey,” says Jen, who now has been on targeted oral therapy for more than eight years and faced multiple recurrences, including one this March which necessitated a week-long hospital stay with no family allowed to visit.

“I’m not in denial over my health, but choose not to dwell on having an ‘incurable’ disease,” Jen explains.  ” I definitely think of living with cancer in light of eternity knowing that all of our time is limited on this earth.

“In a way the ‘cure’ is in what God gives me every day to make it through, and not in a textbook ‘cure’ of cancer being gone. I guess that’s the way I look at it,” she says. “I’m still exercising daily, running Addison (now 11) to dance, and doing all the normal things.”

“Living with cancer keeps me so close to God,” Jen adds. “I know that might sound terrible, but I’ve never been so close to God before in all my life and perhaps it’s because I now trust Him with everything.

“I have peace just knowing that God can heal me completely if and when He wants to,” she continues. “But it’s His plan and not mine … I choose to walk in God’s peace today.”

Choose to walk in God’s peace.

Would you dare to make that choice today? Will you ask God to show you how to adjust your sails to better face your unique storm? And will you trust that He will supernaturally empower you to adapt in ways that perhaps you never dreamed were possible?Jen has found peace in midst of a terrible storm—unimaginable peace considering her circumstances. And He wants to do the same for you—though it may not come as a one-time answer to a single prayer.

“I have to pray and put my life and Addison’s life and Ryan’s life in His hands every day,” explains Jen. “I’ve learned how to wait in the middle of the storm and to totally rely on Him in every area of my life.”

Sounds like a very good, daily adjustment.

(Based on an excerpt from Peace in the Face of Cancer copyright by Lynn Eib 2017.)

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Be sure to open this blog in your browser to hear the music video below “Peace in the Midst of the Storm by Beyond the Ashes.

Oct 14

“Cancer will not steal one day from me!”

 

Not long after Donna Wishowski was diagnosed with cancer, she made a decision which would radically shape the next 17 years of her life: “Cancer will not steal one day from me!”

It was a choice that no matter how many days she had left–or didn’t have left–she would not allow a disease to control them.

Oh, cancer tried plenty hard to do just that. It tried to steal her joy when she was first diagnosed in 2003 at the age of 52.  But she went through surgery, chemo and radiation–all the while trusting that “God has a purpose for my life.”.

And then less than two years later it tried to steal her faith by metastasizing to her lung. But she endured more surgery–always choosing to seek God as she “let the day unfold” before her.

In 2008 cancer made a desperate plea to steal Donna’s hope by taking Lee, her husband  of 40 years. But instead she insisted she would “be present in the moment” and not future what-ifs.

Then in 2015 cancer attempted to steal Donna’s strength as her long remission ended and the disease returned with a vengeance. But Donna persevered with her T.A.C.O. philosophy: Trust, Adventure, Challenge & Opportunity.

I didn’t know any of Donna’s story when she and her friend Jeanine emailed me in 2018 to tell me they had been praying with and giving away copies of my books to all the cancer patients they met.

The two ladies invited me to come to Ladysmith, Wisconsin, and share my “When God & Cancer Meet” seminar. I honestly tried to get out of it when I saw what a hassle it was going to be to get to their little town in the middle of nowhere: a 90-minute ride to the airport, two plane flights, and then a three-hour car ride. But it’s really hard to say “no” to a Stage 4 cancer patient who is determined to share the love of Jesus with hurting people.

And that’s how I had the distinct pleasure of meeting Donna in June of 2019.

Her daughter Bobbi says that year her mom’s “faith continued to grow stronger even as her blood counts fell and her cancer markers climbed.”

Declining health didn’t stop Donna’s ministry of encouragement. In March of this year, she ordered more of my books to give away and talked to my husband about how to start a prayer ministry at her church.

In July Donna decided to stop treatment, but cancer was not about to steal her love of the outdoors (including gardening, hiking, kayaking, snowshoeing and tubing). On July 17 she went for her final kayak ride (pictured above). On August 15 she planned to be boating on the river again, but was too weak to walk or climb into the kayak. Instead friends lifted her wheelchair into the water as she waved and flashed her beautiful smile.

Two days later–just shy of her 70th birthday–Donna Wishowski went Home to her Lord and Savior, having kept her promise that “cancer will not steal one day from me.”

Philippians 3:12-14 was her life scripture:

I don’t mean to say that I have already achieved these things
or that I have already reached perfection.
 But I press on to possess that perfection
for which Christ Jesus first possessed me.
No, dear brothers and sisters, I have not achieved it,
but I focus on this one thing:
Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead,
  I press on to reach the end of the race and
receive the heavenly prize for which God,
through Christ Jesus, is calling us.

And that, my friends, is  how we keep cancer–or anything else–from stealing even one day from us.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Be sure to open this blog in your browser to hear the music video below “Joy” from Rend Collective. (The word “joy” was one of Donna’s absolute favorites, Bobbi says.)