Category: families

Mar 27

Do you have as much faith as my granddaughters?

Tens of millions of people around the country filled out online brackets for the NCAA men’s basketball tournament, including twelve in our family. We seven adults are true sports fans and the five grandkids in our group are being properly schooled in bracket lingo, including the art of choosing a cool team name. Heading into the Sweet Sixteen “Mr The B-Man Bauer,” age 8, sits alone in first-place, followed by son-in-law “Nice Guy Frank” and “Grandma’sGotGame,” while “Ben the Gryphon,” age 6, is closing in on his mom, “Lindsey’sFeelingLucky.”

There also are folks who don’t even know anything about basketball, but still participate in March Madness.

I heard a local radio DJ admit she doesn’t normally follow college basketball, but really likes cheese so she picked Wisconsin to make it to the Final Four. She selected Duke to win it all because she likes the cartoon dog Marmaduke.

But the craziest selection method I heard was a young woman who never watches basketball  and admitted: “I picked my bracket on the colors of their costumes.” (She chose Maryland to be crowned champs and although the Terrapins “costumes” are colorfully decorated with the state flag, they got beat in the second round.)

Pictured here are two of my granddaughters, “CallieCallieboBallie,” 4, and “IzzyBizzy,” 6,  first-year participants in filling out brackets. The only basketball team they have ever watched–or even heard of–is THE Ohio State Buckeyes, so guess who they both picked to take home the trophy?…Of course, Grandma’s alma mater.

Their mom, our middle daughter Bethany a.k.a. “LetsGetReadytoCrumble,” who played college basketball, gave them a choice each round between Ohio State and whomever the girls predicted they would face. Every time, each girl was unwavering in her decision. No amount of suggestion, logic, odds, statistics, or “colorful” costumes was going to change these sweet girls’ minds.

That, my friends, is childlike faith.

I think it’s the kind of faith Jesus was speaking about in Matthew 19 when His disciples tried to keep some little ones from “bothering” Him. Instead Jesus placed His hands on them, blessed them and announced that the “Kingdom of Heaven belongs to those who are like these little children.”

It’s the kind of faith the writer of Hebrews speaks of in chapters 11 and 12: “Faith is the confidence that what we hope for will actually happen; it gives us assurance about things we cannot see.”

I love the tenacity of my granddaughters’ faith and their resolve to stand by “Grandma’s team” (I only picked the Buckeyes to win in the first round!) The problem is that the object of their faith was not fully reliable.

The faith that scripture admonishes us to have is in an all-powerful, all-knowing, all-loving, merciful, just, holy, compassionate, sovereign God, who can be trusted to keep His promises. (Definitely better than the Buckeyes.)

Just having faith is not enough–we have to place that faith in a God, who will remain faithful to us…whether or not life is fair to us.

2 Timothy 2:11-13:
This is a trustworthy saying:
If we die with him, will also will live with him.
If we endure hardship, we will reign with him.
If we deny him, he will deny us.
If we are unfaithful, he remains faithful, for he cannot deny who he is.

Enjoy March Madness and let it remind you against all odds and in spite of all naysayers to have a childlike faith in your Heavenly Father. And if you want a chuckle today, enlarge the photo of my granddaughters to see the score they predicted for the championship game. Eliza has OSU winning 99-2 and Callie, who didn’t have quite as much faith, forecast the Buckeyes winning 90-4. Do you have as much faith as my granddaughters?

(Be sure you open blog this in your browser to hear the music video below: “He’s Always Been Faithful” by Sara Groves and suggested to me by my oldest daughter, “Aunt D is Ready to Win.”)

Nov 07

Kudos to Caregivers!


In honor of November being National Family Caregivers Month, I’d like to offer some special encouragement to all the weary folks who faithfully attend to the needs of loved ones.

You’re physically tired. Probably emotionally exhausted. Maybe even running on spiritual fumes. Been there…done that. Way too many times. I’ve cared for relatives with dementia, others with cancer, COPD, and failing kidneys.

I spent several months last winter caring for my husband through his bilateral knee replacements, surgical hematoma evacuation and physical therapy. My caregiving turn should have been done for a while, right? Nope. Had to do it all over again this summer when one knee got infected, the prosthesis had to be removed and eventually replaced (after six weeks of immobilization and daily antibiotics administered via PICC line by guess who?) And it certainly didn’t help my caregiving stamina when less than 48 hours before my husband’s second surgery, I was diagnosed with Lyme disease. (I was feeling as if there was a bull’s eye on my back literally and figuratively!)

Did I mention that in the middle of caring for my husband, our 12-year-old cat, Ty, started losing weight and acting strange? I tried coaxing him to eat with all sorts of special treats and offered my best TLC for weeks, but it was cancer and we had to put him to sleep.

Still, I am a fortunate caregiver because all the sick folks I’ve cared for have been appreciative of my efforts and told me so.  (Even the cat purred right up until the end. 🙂 ) Maybe you’ve been thanked for your efforts, but some of you are caring for people who either can’t or won’t express gratitude for your sacrifices..and that makes it all the more difficult.

I’d like to share with you Jesus’ words in Matthew 25:31-40 because I believe they contain wonderful encouragement for caregivers.

“But when the Son of Man comes in his glory, and all the angels with him, then he will sit upon his glorious throne. All the nations will be gathered in his presence, and he will separate the people as a shepherd separates the sheep from the goats.  He will place the sheep at his right hand and the goats at his left.

 “Then the King will say to those on his right, ‘Come, you who are blessed by my Father, inherit the Kingdom prepared for you from the creation of the world.  For I was hungry, and you fed me. I was thirsty, and you gave me a drink. I was a stranger, and you invited me into your home. I was naked, and you gave me clothing. I was sick, and you cared for me. I was in prison, and you visited me.’

 “Then these righteous ones will reply, ‘Lord, when did we ever see you hungry and feed you? Or thirsty and give you something to drink?  Or a stranger and show you hospitality? Or naked and give you clothing? When did we ever see you sick or in prison and visit you?’

“And the King will say, ‘I tell you the truth, when you did it to one of the least of these my brothers and sisters, you were doing it to me!’”

Imagine that. Jesus says that He sees all the “little” things we do for others and promises we will be rewarded for those good deeds. And even more amazing, He tells us that every time we perform one of these actions, we really are doing it for Him.

When you took time off work to go to the doctor with your loved one, you did it for Jesus.

When you spent all that time fixing food you hoped would nourish them, you did it for Jesus.

When you got up in the middle of the night to get their pain medicine, you did it for Jesus.

When you rubbed a back, cooled a brow, cleaned up a mess or sat through yet-another tedious test, you did it for Jesus.

Whether or not you got any thanks from your loved one here and now, Jesus saw your kindness and He will bless you for it. After all, you did it for Him.

To enjoy Scott Wesley Brown’s “The Language of Jesus is Love,” open in your browser or use this link https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DYucfd-5QUQ

 

Sep 05

Going to the Party by Randy Alcorn

Imagine someone takes you to a party.

You see a few friends there, enjoy a couple of good conversations, a little laughter, and some decent appetizers. The party’s all right, but you keep hoping it will get better. Give it another hour, and maybe it will. Suddenly, your friend says, “I need to take you home.”

Now?

You’re disappointed. Nobody wants to leave a party early—but you leave, and your friend drops you off at your house. As you approach the door, you’re feeling all alone and sorry for yourself. As you open the door and reach for the light switch, you sense someone’s there. Your heart’s in your throat. You flip on the light.

“Surprise!” Your house is full of smiling people, familiar faces.  

It’s a party—for you. You smell your favorites—barbecued ribs and pecan pie right out of the oven.
The tables are full. It’s a feast.

You recognize the guests, people you haven’t seen for a long time. Then, one by one, the people you most enjoyed at the other party show up at your house, grinning. This turns out to be the real party. You realize that if you’d stayed longer at the other party, as you’d wanted, you wouldn’t be at the real party—you’d be away from it.

Christians faced with terminal illness or imminent death often feel they’re leaving the party before it’s over. They have to go home early. They’re disappointed, thinking of all they’ll miss when they leave. But the truth is, the real party is underway at home—precisely where they’re going. They’re not the ones missing the party; those of us left behind are. (Fortunately, if we know Jesus, we’ll get there eventually.)One by one, occasionally a few of us at a time, we’ll disappear from this world. Those we leave behind will grieve that their loved ones have left home. In reality, however, their believing loved ones aren’t leaving home, they’re going home. They’ll be home before us. We’ll be arriving at the party a little later. [1] 

[1] Randy Alcorn, Heaven, (Carol Stream, Illinois: Tyndale House Publishers), 2004, 441-442.

Chris Tomlin “Home” music video can be viewed on your browser or with this link https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=twL3v5r8s6o

Jul 18

How Your Mind Can Help Heal Your Body

Isn’t it amazing the impact our thoughts can have on our bodies?

Back in 1990, I got chemo every Wednesday and that evening we would take our girls to Shoney’s Restaurant for supper because kids 12 and under (of which we had three!) were free. I was always pretty nauseous, so while my family enjoyed the buffet, I sipped a cup of cream of broccoli soup and ate saltines.

A couple weeks after I finished treatment, we decided to go to Shoney’s again. I was anticipating being able to enjoy the array of food, but guess what? The memory of all those stomach-churning weeks made me feel so nauseous I thought I was going to be sick just standing at the buffet! (And it took me years to be able to eat cream of broccoli soup again!)

Our oncology office had a teenage boy who used to come in for treatment and each time–before he even got a drop of chemo–he would puke. No amount of anti-nausea medicine ahead of time ever prevented it. And I also know a cancer survivor who got nauseous when she saw her oncologist at the mall! (Glad that wasn’t true for me because my oncologist and his wife became our best friends!)

Obviously, the connection between mind and body is real. But our mind’s influence on our body can be positive as well as negative. And while I don’t believe our thoughts can guarantee a better outcome for our health, I do believe they can influence it. Psychologist and author Dr. William Backus says people dealing with illness need to remember three facts:

Your beliefs create your thoughts.

Your thoughts generate feelings.

Your feelings affect your body’s healing systems.

“Psychoneuroimmunology” is the fancy label attached to the subject of mind-body healing, which is being studied increasingly by therapists and researchers, who even have discovered a hard-wire connection between the body’s immune system and the brain’s central nervous system.

So, if your brain has the ability to send messages to your immune system cells, “what you believe and tell yourself can become a powerful medication in your personal pharmacy,” according to Dr. Backus.

He advocates not just positive-thinking, but telling ourselves the truth about our situation. He has gathered many examples of truthful healing beliefs embraced by those who have survived life-threatening illnesses. Here are a few—I hope you, too, can add them to your mind’s pharmacy:

  • “I refuse to believe my diagnosis is an automatic death sentence.
  • I believe treatment is effective against this illness, especially the skillful efforts of scientific medicine combined with my strategies for replacing lying thoughts with the truth.
  • I believe my hormones and immune system were created to be on the side of my healing and can work to overcome this illness.
  • I believe God is on the side of my healing because His unbreakable Word says so.
  • I believe I am personally responsible for my treatment and for managing it.
  • I believe hope is a choice. I choose hope, not hopelessness.
  • I believe I’m on earth to share hope, and joy with others. I’m here to love others, regardless of my physical condition.
  • I believe that God’s will is good. I believe that He loves me and wants only the best for me—no matter what He is allowing me to experience right now.
  • I can recover from this illness and live a rich, productive life. But whether I recover or not, I am going to leave this life someday regardless. Until then I can live a full life of service every day for as long as I am given.” William Backus, The Healing Power of the Christian Mind (Minneapolis: Bethany House, a division of Baker Publishing Group, 1996) 96.

Don’t be impressed with your own wisdom. Instead, fear the LORD and turn away from evil. Then you will have healing for your body and strength for your bones. Proverbs 3:7-8

My child, pay attention to what I say. Listen carefully to my words. Don’t lost sight of them. Let them penetrate deep into your heart, for they bring life to those who find them, and healing to their whole body. Proverbs 4:20-22

If the music video doesn’t automatically load, open in your browser or use this link https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yzejd6r9DwE

Jul 11

I Don’t Want to Take One Day at a Time

 

There are certain “encouraging” phrases spoken to people going through difficulties which drive me nuts.

“It’s all gonna work out.” (So you have a crystal ball and can see my future?)

“I’m sure everything’s going to be fine.” (Because nothing bad ever happens to nice people?!)

“Just take it one day at a time.” (Thanks, I’d rather skip this whole month!)

I imagine the person uttering these kinds of phrases feels better after saying them, but weary listeners–myself included–aren’t necessarily cheered.

But despite my aversion to these cliches, I must admit that each does have an element of truth. Whatever trouble is happening will be worked out…eventually. I’m just not positive that each of us will see how it gets worked out in our lifetime. And everything will be fine in the sense that the things which really matter most–those of eternal value–can never be lost.

And as much as much as I don’t want anyone saying it to me right now as my husband and I walk through his health crisis, I have been admonishing myself: Just take it one day at a time.

Our grandchildren Ben and Abby have helped me keep that singular focus by making my husband a calendar to countdown the days remaining in his six weeks regimen of daily I.V. antibiotics. Ben, almost a kindergartener, drew the numbers (frontwards twos are overrated!) and Abby, almost a preschooler, helped decorate the background. (I guess 22-month-old Jack’s contribution was not ripping it up!)

Every day my husband and I smile as we rip off a calendar sheet and continue the countdown (Well, except for today as I write this. His PICC line won’t flush so I’m waiting for a nurse to come out and troubleshoot and hoping we are not headed to the hospital!)

It’s so hard to concentrate only on today. My rational mind wants to focus on the fact our entire summer is basically shot because my husband can’t walk. My brain keeps zeroing in on the fact the fall season is not going to be much better as he faces months of rehab. And it’s difficult not to dwell on the reality we’re facing many more months of sleep-interrupted nights, of too-tiring days and of what-if tomorrows.

But the truth is, it’s biblical to just take life one day at a time.

Remember in the desert when the Israelites complained God had forgotten them and they didn’t have anything good to eat? God responded by sending a delicious “flaky substance as fine as frost” which became known as “manna,” meaning “what is it?” And the instructions for gathering this daily sustenance were very specific.

Exodus 16:4: Then the Lord said to Moses, “Look I’m going to rain down food from heaven for you. Each day the people can go out and pick up as much food as they need for that day. I will test them in this to see whether or not they will follow my instructions.”

Here’s what happened next: “So the people of Israel did as they were told. Some gathered a lot, some only a little. But when they measured it out, everyone had just enough, Those who gathered a lot had nothing left over, and those who gathered only a little had enough. Each family had just what it needed.” (Exodus 16:17-18)

The people were further instructed not to try and save any manna overnight, but some didn’t listen. The next morning, the Bible says, their hoarded manna was full of maggots and smelled terrible.

Personally, I would love to stockpile a supply of manna for a whole month, or at least a week. I’d like some in my back pocket so I knew that what I needed to get through tomorrow and the next day was right there.

But it doesn’t work that way.

What the Israelites needed to get  them through the day had to be provided fresh by God each morning. And what you and I need for our journey in the desert needs to come daily from God’s hand by the power of His Spirit in us.

We are instructed to go to the Lord each morning and gather our daily sustenance–our manna–from Him. As we pray and move into His presence, we find His faithfulness, His love, His mercies, His faithfulness…our hope.

The faithful love of the LORD never ends! His mercies never cease. Great is his faithfulness; his mercies begin afresh each morning.  I say to myself, “The LORD is my inheritance; therefore I will hope in him!” Lamentations 3:22-23

O LORD, hear me as I pray; pay attention to my groaning. Listen to my cry for help, my King and my God, for I pray to no one but you. Listen to my voice in the morning, LORD. Each morning I bring my requests to you and wait expectantly. Psalm 5:1-3

So please don’t tell me I need to just take one day at a time–I’m pretty busy telling myself.

P.S. The nurse was able to troubleshoot the PICC line and get it working again. Hurray!

If the music video below doesn’t automatically load, pleas open this blog in your browser or click on this link https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VNmSrbMxMFA