Category: disappointment

Feb 03

The Truth about Shadows

 

Sunset shadows as grandpa fishes with our granddaughters.

In grade-school science, you probably learned that a shadow is caused by the absence of light when an opaque (not see-through) object has absorbed the light. And that shadows fall opposite their light source.

That’s why your shadow is in front of you if the sun is behind you and vice versa. The way you’re facing determines whether or not you can see your shadow.

I know this is a simple scientific fact, but it is a profound spiritual truth for facing tough times: You have to keep facing the light in order not to so easily see life’s troubling shadows.

Are you old enough to remember in 1998 when the Galaxy IV communications satellite malfunctioned and rotated out of position, turning away from the earth? In an instant millions of pagers went silent, TV and radio stations couldn’t transmit, and even some gas pumps couldn’t accept credit cards. It all happened because just one satellite in the heavens turned the wrong way and couldn’t communicate with earth.

Perhaps your circumstances have gotten you out of position spiritually. You can’t figure out how a loving God would allow this situation in your life or your loved one’s. Maybe you even feel at times as if your prayers have not been heard. I hope you will check to see which way you are facing so you truly can communicate with the Lord–pouring out your heart to the One who hears, who understands, and who has the power to respond.

Once you’re facing the right direction, you also can choose to live under a different shadow. Now I know it sounds strange that you could find light by being under a shadow, but it’s true.

The shadow I want you to move under—or stay under if you’re already there—is a much, much bigger shadow than the pall cast by any of life’s struggles. It’s a safe, secure, protective shadow. There’s no other shadow that can eclipse this one. And underneath it, we’re not in the dark; we’re supernaturally in the light.

Those who live in the shelter of the Most High
will find rest in the shadow of the Almighty. Psalm 91:1

The shadow of the Almighty.

I love that word picture. Can you see yourself with a dark cloud of pain–physical, emotional, mental or spiritual–over your head, moving under the huge shadow of God Himself? Standing underneath His shadow, you can barely even see the little shadow-speck of the difficulties you’re facing.

He has hidden me in the shadow of his hand. Isaiah 49:2

Image by Franck Barske from Pixabay

Have you ever put your arms around a child during a storm and drawn them close to you as protection from the rain and the noise? Have you ever seen a mother hen spread her wings and gather her little chicks to safety as danger approached? Those are images the Bible gives of God’s love and care for us.

How precious is your unfailing love, O God!
All humanity finds shelter
in the shadow of your wings. Psalm 36:7

May I pray for you today? Almighty God, please help my friend to live not under the shadow of a pandemic, or an illness or of any of  life’s tough circumstances, but instead under Your protective shadow. And there, let my friend feel your unfailing love and find rest. Amen.

Excerpted from Finding the Light in Cancer’s Shadow ©2006 by Lynn Eib. All rights reserved.
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Make sure to open this blog in your browser to hear the music video, “Savior’s Shadow” by Blake Shelton.

Dec 16

Can You be Weary and Grateful at the Same Time?

 

Weariness…either you’re facing it or someone you love is. I recently heard from a songwriter and new FB friend Carrie Marshall* who told me that in this weary year she has been diagnosed with a concussion, COVID-19 and cancer.  “I call it the Triple C,” she explained with an added LOL.

I looked up “weary” in my little Random House pocket dictionary of synonyms and antonyms I’ve had since my college journalism days and synonyms include: exhausted, tired, fatigued, spent, impatient, dissatisfied, tedious, and irksome.

Any of those describe your feelings some days? Yes, there are so many things for which I’m grateful and yet there are so many losses piling up: worshipping together as a church; having friends into our home; hugging and holding hands with loved ones; and canceling a daughter’s 40th birthday weekend in Waco, a 50th high school reunion to southern California, special ministry events, and an exciting trip to Nova Scotia.

I constantly thank God for His blessings like the outdoor “Wild Lights” at the local zoo with the grandkids and grocery curbside pickup ready as soon as I finish writing. But if I‘m honest, I’m truly sad and grieving in the midst of my thankfulness.

Yes, I am weary.

Shannon Adducci, who knows a thing or two about weariness, describes herself as “a wife, mom, singer-songwriter, worship leader, trauma-survivor, mountain-lover, and Christ-follower.” Her recent blog about weariness was as excellent as her music. It inspired this blog and I’d like to share some of her encouraging thoughts with you.

“I have been programmed through the years to think I should just be able to choose gratitude at all times and, in every instance, flip weariness or sadness on its head and replace it with the spirit of joy – with the help of a handy, hip-pocket Scripture, of course!

“And, certainly, there is a place for simply choosing joy and gratitude. I do it often. But it also incredibly important to honor the deep emotions we might be experiencing, lest they fester unattended and infect our souls.

“So, what if it doesn’t have to be one or the other of these? Not joy instead of sadness. Or recovery in lieu of grief. Or breakthrough eclipsing stuck-ness. What if it is actually OK to be in it all at the same time? …

“What if it could all be one holy, messy struggle and me not feel guilty about it?…

“So, here’s the good news…

“Even in my utter weariness, Jesus offers me an invitation and not a rejection slip.

“Come to me,” He whispers.

“Not after you recover but in order to recover.”

“Jesus fully and gently acknowledges exactly where you and I are and encourages us to hang out with Him in our most depleted state.” (©2020 Shannon Adducci. Bold emphasis mine.)**

“Come to Me, all who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.
 Put My yoke upon your shoulders—it might appear heavy at first, but it is perfectly fitted to your curves.
Learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble of heart.
When you are yoked to Me, your weary souls will find rest.”
The VOICE Bible Matthew 11:28,29

Thank you, Jesus, that it’s okay for us to feel weary alongside thankfulness. I’m so grateful that we don’t have to just choose one or the other, but by the power of Your Spirit within us, help us to rest in Your presence.

“Long lay the world in sin and error pining
‘Til He appears and the soul felt its worth
A thrill of hope the weary world rejoices
For yonder breaks a new and glorious morn.
Fall on your knees; O hear the Angel voices!
O night divine, O night when Christ was born
O night, O Holy night, O night divine!”
(“O Holy Night” by Adolphe Adam 1847 emphasis mine)

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*To connect with Carrie and preview her beautiful, newly released single “I Will Sing,” (which she hopes “encourages others who are either in or headed into a dark and scary place”), go to https://music.apple.com/us/album/i-will-sing-single/1544622642?fbclid=IwAR29O3YQC5Ftyx2mNIFi1tZwaceUFti5zP-pThv0ilyXqlMOzd6VIRpJhEI

** To connect with Shannon and preview her incredible music, go to https://shannonadduccimusic.com/store (I have all her CDs and love them all!)

Please open in your browser to enjoy the powerful song  from the Christmas CD “Love Came for Me” by Shannon Wexelberg Adducci

Oct 29

How to Stay Calm in Football Games…and in Life

 

I’m a passionate football fan. I enjoy exciting, close games…unless the Ohio State Buckeyes or the Philadelphia Eagles are playing. Then I’m a nervous wreck and terribly worried until my team is ahead by at least three scores.

Last week I’m watching the 4th quarter of the Philadelphia-N.Y. Giants game and the Eagles are down 21-10 with a little over 6 minutes remaining.

I feel totally calm.

With 4.5 minutes to go, they still are behind, now 21-16.

I am not worried in the least.

With less than a minute to go, the Eagles get a 15-yard penalty pushing them back to the 18-yard line.

I am not remotely close to nervous.

With 40 seconds left, quarterback Carson Wentz lofts a pass to the end zone into the outstretched hands of 5’6″ Boston Scott.

We’re ahead 22-21, but, wait, there’s still time for the Giants to win it with a field goal.

I don’t feel even a tinge of anxiety and in fact am totally confident the Eagles are not going to blow this game.

Why?

Because I’m watching a recording of the game the morning after it was played. I already know the victorious ending.

I didn’t despair about penalties, fumbles, questionable plays or injuries because I knew “we” were going to be okay. Every play I watched was viewed through my absolute certainty of the 22-21 outcome.

This P&P (Pandemic and Politics) world looks pretty bleak some days–maybe even every day for you right now.

But if you know and love Jesus, you also should know how it’s going to turn out. Spoiler alert: You and your team win!

The personal fouls feel different because people who have hurt us will one day have to answer to God. Our dropped pass mistakes don’t loom as large because they will be redeemed by our heavenly Father. The questionable plays won’t haunt us because God either will explain them or give us the peace to live without those answers. And even the physical injuries to us or our loved ones don’t lead to despair because our Creator will heal…now or in eternity.

Friends, it matters when we know how it all turns out. We can view the ups and downs of this world with calm assurance–just like I did in that Eagles’ game–because we know the victorious ending.

I love how C. S. Lewis gives us a glimpse of that ending in the final book of The Chronicles of Narnia when Aslan, lion king of that magical land, speaks to the school children who have been on adventures with Him:

“There was a real railway accident,” said Aslan softly. “Your father and mother and all of you are–as you used to call it in the Shadow-Lands–dead. The term is over: the holidays have begun. The dream is ended: this is the morning.

“And as He spoke He no longer looked to them like a lion; but the things that began to happen after that were so great and beautiful that I cannot write them. And for us this is the end of all the stories, and we can most truly say that they all lived happily ever after. But for them it was only the beginning of the real story. All their life in this world and all their adventures in Narnia had only been the cover and the title page: now at last they were beginning Chapter One of the Great Story, which no one on earth has read: which goes on for ever: in which every chapter is better than the one before.”

But no matter what comes,
we will always taste victory
through Him who loved us.
–The Voice Bible Romans 8:37

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Please open in your browser to play the music video below “Into the Sea (It’s Gonna be OK)” by Tasha Layton.

 

Sep 30

Living with Uncertainty: My Oncologist Has Cancer (Part 4)

 

Would you like to hear some GOOD NEWS today?It has been 4.5 months since my oncologist and former employer, Dr. Marc Hirsh (pictured above with me in 1999) was diagnosed with an extremely rare cancer.  It has no known cure nor effective treatment, but Marc finished his self-prescribed regime of 30 days of radiation and chemotherapy a week ago. That in itself–as all of us cancer survivors know–is something to celebrate.

And there’s more GOOD NEWS.

“I’m feeling much better,” he told me in yesterday’s phone interview. “My swallowing is about 80-percent improved. The nausea is gone. I’m not as tired as I was, and my appetite is picking up.

“It feels great not to have to get up and take a treatment,” Marc added. “I felt like I was poisoning myself, but it was something I had to do.”

But there’s even more GOOD NEWS.

Marc’s radiation oncologist, Dr. Michael Watson told him that the tumor has “significantly shrunk.” More imaging will be done in about a month to measure the decrease and check for any new spots, but the early scans are encouraging.

However,  after practicing oncology for 31 years, Marc knows good news quickly can change to bad.

“The tumor is still there and it’s just a question of whether it will act up,” he explained. “I wonder how long this window of remission or ‘holiday’ will last. I have faith and believe that anything is possible and it could go on for years, but it could be only weeks or months.”

Still, given the “dramatic  and weird way” the cancer first presented May 23, Marc is grateful for how much his situation has improved.

“I had this big (12 cm) tumor pressing on my heart, pericarditis (inflammation of the heart lining), chest pain,  constant headaches from pressure on a blood vessel, a collapsed lung with a pleural effusion (excess fluid),  and I was short of breath,” he recalled. “I really thought I probably would die in a few weeks…So it’s amazing how good I feel now.”

When I asked Marc how he deals with the uncertainty his diagnosis/prognosis brings, he responded: “I’m sad and disappointed, but I still feel strong and optimistic.”

“You don’t know when adversity hits how you’re going to do,” he explained. “I’m lucky to have Elizabeth who has been at my side constantly. Not everybody has a partner with her strength and love, and my family has been here for me from the beginning.”

Marc,  a Jew who has believed in Jesus as his Messiah for the past 40 years, said he wondered if his faith would be the source of strength he expected it to be.

“I figured God would show up…and He did,” he said. “It’s been a confirmation of what I already believed.”

I asked Marc about Bible verses which have been especially encouraging during this trial and he immediately mentioned one of my absolute favorite scriptures:

Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away,
yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day.
For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us
an eternal glory that far outweighs them all.
So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen,
since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.
2 Corinthians 4:15-17

“There’s a lot of uncertainty, but I’m glad I’m not afraid of dying,” Marc added. “And I’m also very happy I’m still alive.”

We are too, Marc…We are, too.

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Be sure to open this blog in your browser to hear the music videos “Be with You” and “The Love of God” by Rich Mullins, Marc and Elizabeth’s favorite Christian artist. I couldn’t make up my mind which song to pick, so you get a double blessing today. This second one is only a little over 2 minutes long and so worth your time.

 

Aug 12

Living with Loss: My Oncologist Has Cancer (Part 2)

 

Cancer has a nasty habit of taking things away from people–things like hair and strength and jobs and time. Sometimes it takes them away for a short while and sometimes it takes them away permanently.

Even before my oncologist Dr. Marc Hirsh got an official cancer diagnosis, the disease already was robbing him of things that had been precious to him.

His first loss came without any warning: his health. At 69, Marc was still very active: biking, running, paddle boarding, downhill skiing and even kick boxing a heavy bag. He went to bed Friday, May 22 feeling fine after his daily workout, but awakened in the night with chest pain. Tests at the ER revealed a 12-cm tumor pressing on his heart and partially collapsing a lung. He left the hospital feeling weak, short of breath and with a prescription for narcotic painkillers.

And the loss of his health led immediately to his second loss: his profession.

“I realized right away what would be involved with this tumor–even in the best case scenario–and I knew I couldn’t keep up what I had been doing,” Marc explained in our recent phone interview. “The rigors of private, solo practice without back-up, on call 24/7–I wouldn’t be able to do the job I wanted to. I knew it was the end.”

Patients were quickly informed that they needed to find a new oncologist. The staff of ten–some of whom have worked for Marc for 20 or 30 years–was already in mourning and now patients and their families began grieving the loss of their oncologist’s care. (Photos are Fall 2019 patient party when staff costumed as Where’s Waldo? –the one and only year Marc ever dressed up.) 

On June 8 Marc updated his website to include this message: “I am sorry that I cannot continue as your physician.  I extend to you my prayers for your future health and happiness.  It has been my honor and privilege to be involved with your care.”

“I knew I would stop working someday, but not like this,” Marc told me. “When I finally went into the office and saw everything all boxed up, I just broke down.”

“That loss of my profession was even worse than the cancer,” he added. “I’m no longer that doctor, that oncologist. It kind of hurt.”

But the final loss was his beloved dog, Jake. Rescued some 10 years ago, the lab-hound was practically inseparable from Marc.  Jake even came to the office every day, where he won the hearts of all the dog-loving patients as he visited them in the exam rooms, happily accepting handfuls of doggie treats.

Fourteen-year-old Jake was slowing down and in the last few weeks became very sick. On July 24, the difficult decision was made to end his suffering.

“No, not Jake!” Marc recalled. “I got cancer, I lost my job and now I have to put down my dog? I was a little angry. I can’t even have my therapy dog with me.”

But Marc never thought “it’s not fair.”

“If you’re a follower of Christ, you’re still going to experience struggles, problems,” he explained. “Faith doesn’t prevent (bad) things from happening.

“I don’t blame God (for all the losses) or wonder why,” he added. “I’m 69 and I’m very grateful for all the things I’ve had. My life has been so blessed and very successful that I couldn’t complain.”

He’s even grateful to have started his radiation therapy and oral chemo yesterday after waiting three weeks for all the preliminaries to conclude.

Here’s the scripture prayer Marc posted on his website for all his patients and their families:
The LORD bless you, and keep you;
 The LORD make His face shine upon you, and be gracious to you;
The LORD lift up His countenance on you, and give you peace.
Numbers 6:24-26

NEXT WEEK AUG. 19 Faith & Family: My Oncologist Has Cancer (Part 3)
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Make sure to open in your browser to hear “If I Stand,” one of Marc’s favorite songs by Rich Mullins, who Marc describes as “our No. 1 favorite songwriter–he’s like the Bob Dylan of Christian music.”