Category: courage

May 12

Turning 70 and Celebrating One Year as a Survivor: My Oncologist Has Cancer (Part 6)

Today Dr. Marc Hirsh, my oncologist, my brother in faith and my dear friend, turns 70. I know others who have recently, or will soon, reach this milestone, but none I’m celebrating more than this guy.

An early celebration with staff and a chocolate cake.

That’s because shortly after his birthday last year, Marc was diagnosed with a rare atypical carcinoid tumor of the thymus gland. The 12cm mass behind his heart had caused inflammation of the heart lining, collapsed one lung, difficulty breathing, and terrible pain. It seemed there would be no more birthday celebrations for this man who had dedicated his life to trying to help cancer patients, including me, enjoy more time.

“When I was diagnosed, I honestly thought there was a good chance I was going to die soon,” Marc explained as we chatted on the phone this week. “Some of the doctors at (Johns) Hopkins and other places were pretty pessimistic too, but I’m still here.”

Marc will celebrate seven decades of living by going tent-camping for a few days with his younger daughter and his 7-year-old grandson.

“It is tiring, but I like it,” he explained. (His wife Elizabeth says she now prefers the comfort of her bed over a sleeping bag on the ground and only will be joining the trio during daytime!)

When I asked Marc if he also was celebrating one year as a cancer survivor, he quickly answered.

“Definitely. I’m grateful to feel as good as I do and to be able to do things a year later,” he said. In addition to multiple camping outings, he plans to kayak, paddle board and take out his pontoon boat soon.

However, like many cancer survivors he’s having to get used to a “new normal.”

“I’m adjusting to my new reality–without my practice and without Jake,”  Marc said. (His illness forced the immediate closure of his 31-year-old oncology-hematology practice in Hanover, PA, and a few months later, his beloved rescue dog, Jake–who went to the office with him every day– had to be put down.)

“I feel like in the past year I went from age 50 to age 70,” Marc explained. “I don’t have the strength and stamina I did before. I feel old and I never felt old–it’s something I don’t like.”

But Marc is thankful for some aspects of this new life.

“I’m getting to do a lot of things I enjoy, but never had time for,” he said. “I’m relearning a lot of classical (piano) music, reading a lot and doing sports with my grandson.”  (Before his two granddaughters returned to their West Coast home, they enjoyed music and science lessons with him, as well as some serious Lego building!)

“I’m adjusting to my new reality and I look forward to future events,” Marc said. “Elizabeth and I are really enjoying each other and I’m getting a lot of satisfaction from my marriage. I feel like I’m in a good place spiritually. I have good faith and I don’t have many moments of fear.”

And this birthday has been especially sweet because of all the cards he’s been receiving from friends, patients and colleagues.

“It’s crazy how many birthday cards I’ve gotten,” he said. “It’s really beautiful that so many people care about me. A lot have handwritten notes thanking me for things I’ve done. I’m really grateful and humbled by all of them.

LifeHopeandTruth.com

“I was flooded with cards when I was first diagnosed and to know that people still think about me a year later is really heartwarming,” he added.

When I asked Marc what was especially encouraging to him these days, he said “I seem to be feeling a deeper sense of God and love that is almost inexpressible. It seems to be welling up inside of me and I really feel more loving.”

Marc, here’s to many more birthdays filled with God’s love and ours for you, too.
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Don’t miss the music video below, “The Love of God”  by Marc and Elizabeth’s favorite Christian artist, Rich Mullins.

 

 

 

 

 

Apr 28

Waiting for something?

Ring the bells again!

The last time I set these bells on the arm of my husband’s La-Z-Boy recliner was January 2017 after his bilateral knee replacement. Well, today he gets a shoulder replaced. So once again I want him to be able to summon me day and night–hence TWO bells. The smaller one is for routine needs and the larger bell for more urgent requests.

When I posted a similar bell photo four years ago, there was much concern among readers that I might not hear these bells, so just to ease everyone’s minds, for this rehab I have added two maracas–he can shake one for routine desires and both for bigger needs. The shaking can double as therapy too. (I guess you can tell this is not my first rodeo!) Today’s surgery brings the replacement tally to two shoulders and three knees (if you count the one that got infected and had to be re-replaced!)

And it also ushers in the waiting.

Me, dropping my partner of 47 years at the surgicenter entrance and heading home to wait because of COVID-19 protocols. Me, with my cell phone in my pocket waiting for the surgeon to inform me that the procedure is finished. Me, waiting for my husband to emerge from anesthesia fog and FaceTime with me tonight. Me, waiting tomorrow for the word from a nurse than I can  bring my bionic guy home.

And then more waiting. For muscles and nerves to heal from surgery trauma. For range of motion to improve. For strength to return. For life to feel normal again.

For what are you waiting these days?

For your body to heal?

For your marriage to be revived?

For the pain to subside?

For a loved one to trust in Jesus?

For wisdom to deal with a rude co-worker?

For patience in finding a new job?

I’m pretty sure there’s some prayer of longing on your heart today. And I’m also willing to bet that like me, you’re not a fan of the waiting. When I’m waiting, my mind often travels to not-so-good places. I begin to doubt, then worry and sometimes even fear.

The Bible is full of stories about waiting as God doesn’t seem averse to letting people wait for His promises. Scripture tells of God-loving people waiting… waiting in the desert,  waiting in the belly of a large fish,  waiting for a child, waiting for a prodigal, waiting in prison,  waiting for healing,  waiting for a Messiah. The Psalms are full of their heart cries for deliverance.

So as I wait, I choose to fix my wandering mind on their prayers.

Wait patiently for the Lord.
    Be brave and courageous.
    Yes, wait patiently for the Lord. Psalm 27:14

I wait for the LORD, my whole being waits,
and in His word I put my hope. Psalm 130:5

Image from LifeHopeandTruth.com

Let all that I am wait quietly before God,
for my hope is in Him. Psalm 62:5

We wait in hope for the LORD;
He is our help and our shield.
In Him our hearts rejoice,
for we trust in His holy name,
May your unfailing love be with us, LORD,
even as we put our hope in You. Psalm 33:20-22

My friend, I’m waiting in expectant hope with you for God’s answer to your prayers. I know He will be faithful.
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P.S. Yesterday as I was writing this blog, my husband walked by the living room and noticed the bells were out. I explained how I had included two maracas for his added ability to summon me, but I must say, for some reason he did not seem impressed! :-)+++++++++++++
Be sure to open in your browser to hear the music video “The Waiting” by Jamie Grace.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Apr 14

God Cannot be Surprised

 

Image by PublicDomainPictures from Pixabay

I don’t think most people are truly prepared to get bad news–especially concerning our health or a loved one’s. Instead we hope against hope that things will not turn out as we fear and the whole nightmare will go away. Right up until I saw the look on my gastroenterologist’s face after my colonoscopy in June 1990, I had hoped—and believed—there was nothing wrong with me. (So much for the power of positive thinking!)

I don’t know if some bad news has taken you by surprise, but I guarantee it has not caught God off-guard.

He is all-knowing.
He is all-seeing.
He is all-powerful.
He is in control of ­every­thing.
He knows what you need and when you need it.

You may feel unprepared for what you’re facing, but God is prepared. And He is preparing things for you—good things—things you haven’t even thought of.

No eye has seen, no ear has heard, and no mind has imagined
what God has prepared for those who love him.
1 Corinthians 2:9

And I believe He literally goes before all of His followers into each new day to provide what we’ll need for that day. Hear His promise through Moses’ words in Deuteronomy 31:8:

“Do not be afraid or discouraged, for the Lord will personally go ahead of you.
 He will be with you; he will neither fail you nor abandon you.”

Or as The Message paraphrase puts it:
God is striding ahead of you. He’s right there with you. He won’t let you down; he won’t leave you.
Don’t be intimidated. Don’t worry.

Authors Henry and Richard Blackaby in their devotional Experiencing God Day by Day explain God’s promise this way:

“God never sends you into a situation alone. He always goes before His children as He did with the children of Israel when He led them with a cloud by day and a pillar of fire by night. . . . He always precedes you in any situation you encounter. God is never caught by surprise by your experience; He has already been there. He is prepared to meet your every need because He has gone before you and knows exactly what you will need for your pilgrimage.”

And the really good news is that He doesn’t just go on ahead of us, He stays with us, too, ensuring we are never alone.

“Not only does God go before you, but He also stands beside you and behind you, to provide protection and comfort,” the Blackabys add. “If you are going through a difficult or confusing time, know that the Lord has gone before you and He is present with you. He is fully aware of what you are facing, and He is actively responding to your need.”

My friend, God knows exactly what you and I need to  get through today.

It’s okay if you feel disbelief or shock or unprepared for whatever’s next. Perhaps you would like to pray Psalm 25:5: Lead me by Your truth and teach me, for You are the God who saves me. All day long I put my hope in You.
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Be sure to open in your browser to hear the beautiful song “Christ Be All Around Me” by All Sons & Daughters.

Mar 03

Who or What are You Missing Today?

 

My parents’ 50th anniversary in 2002

My Dad would have turned 96 today if he hadn’t passed away in 2011. I can still recall my last phone conversation with him after the hospice nurse called to say his time was short. We lived several hours away and even though we left as soon as we could, we did not get there in time.

Meanwhile, my Mother–recovering from cancer surgery in an out-of-town hospital–was transported by ambulance back to their assisted living facility, but also arrived too late. Exactly three years and three weeks later, she died too.

Many years have passed, but I still miss them terribly.  And deep down, we’re all grieving some kind of loss aren’t we? Whether it’s been days or decades since we got the bad news, we all mourn something ripped from our grasp: health, marriage, finances, friendship, dreams, and so much more.

Whatever you’ve lost, I pray that my friend David’s story will encourage your weary heart today–or perhaps you’ll share it with someone else who needs uplifting.

David[1]has faced the incomprehensible twice with his family. The first time was when his youngest son Kevin died of AIDS. The second was a few years later when his middle son Alan committed suicide.

“These past months have been like a dream gone bad,” David says. “My feelings have ranged from shock and disbelief to pain, anger and guilt.”

David, a man of great faith who is a respected Bible teacher, is at a loss to understand how and why 49-year-old Alan could do the unthinkable, leaving behind his wife and three children.

Image by Liz Masoner from Pixabay

“Alan was a handsome, intelligent, free-spirited, fun-loving guy; a prankster with an extraordinary sense of humor who could make even the most orthodox double over in laughter in a heartbeat,” David says. “Alan was high voltage, fearless and loved living life on the edge. He was into dirt bikes, hunting, catching rattlesnakes and sky-diving.”

But in recent years Alan became addicted to prescription painkillers from several injuries and surgeries, David says. And on a cold winter day he left his Michigan home in deep despair and disappeared into some nearby woods where he took his own life.

The days since Alan’s death “have been most challenging to say the least,” David says. “Sudden waves of grief come rushing in from out of nowhere, twisting our souls with all kinds of emotional contortions,” David says.

And yet even as their world has been terribly shaken again, David and his wife are finding God’s supernatural strength is seeing them through.

“When we find ourselves in the deepest of despair, still underneath us are His everlasting arms,” David explains. “As believers we are not immune to the tragedies of life—even when everything around us seems to collapse, we never can be brought so low as to be beyond the reach of the Father’s everlasting arms.”

The eternal God is your refuge and underneath are the everlasting arms. Deuteronomy 33:27

My friend, whatever loss you are grieving today–please remember you never can be brought so low as to be beyond the reach of the Father’s everlasting arms.  Let Him safely hold you today.

Excerpted from When GOD & Grief Meet © 2009 by Lynn Eib.
[1] Names and a few details of David’s story have been changed to protect his family’s privacy. +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Open in your browser to hear the music video “All Who are Thirsty” Copyright Vineyard Worship featuring Benton Brown.

Feb 17

Never Lose Hope

 

If you’re like me and enjoy hearing stories about people who weren’t “supposed to be here,” please meet my friend, Nancy, a long-time survivor of incurable liver cancer.

Nancy and Tom, her husband of 60 years.

In 2005 Nancy was told she had a “very aggressive” liver cancer and there was nothing anyone could do for her.

“If you have anything you want to do, you should do it,” the doctor said, adding that she probably would die within a month.

But about two weeks later, she got a call from another physician who said she had been misdiagnosed. Indeed it was a rare, untreatable liver cancer, but a slow-growing one.

With that good news, Nancy figured the hard part of her cancer journey was over, but she was wrong. One of her doctors suggested a new, oral chemotherapy to perhaps slow the cancer’s growth. Unfortunately, a drug side effect was severe depression.

“When I would wake up in the morning, I thought I couldn’t get out of bed,” Nancy recalls. “Any desire to do anything at all was gone. I would just sit and cry.”

Nancy, of course, stopped the drug, but the depression lasted for 18 months.

Image by imagii from Pixabay

“I felt terribly alone even in a roomful of people,” she recalls. “It was the most horrible feeling I ever had–it was worse than being told I had cancer or that I was going to die.”

Now 15 years later, Nancy’s oncologist says that her cancer, “one of the rarest of the rarest,” has “dried up” half her liver, but is not immediately life-threatening .

So why am I telling you this story in a blog about encouragement for the weary? Because Nancy got through her depression and I want you to know that you and your loved ones can survive whatever darkness might rear its ugly head in your lives.

“I learned that God is faithful,” she says. “I always believed that, but not to the extent I do now. Even though I couldn’t feel close to God then, I always sensed He was there,” she says. “When I prayed to die in my sleep, the Holy Spirit was there with me whispering ‘it’s going to be OK—it’s not over yet.’ God was always there.”

Psalm 30:2-3
 O LORD my God, I cried to you for help and you restored my health.
You brought me up from the grave, O LORD.
You kept me from falling into the pit of death.

“I lived on Psalm 30 for all those months,” Nancy recalls. “I have it memorized.”

Since the pandemic hit in 2020 along with some worries for family members, she acknowledges battling depression again and once more turning to pray Psalm 30.

“(The depression) is better than it was and I just know prayer is going to bring me out of it again,” says Nancy, who also sees her family physician, a psychiatrist and a counselor.

Image by ShonEjai from Pixabay

“When I was down, just a teeny bit of hope helped me,” Nancy remembers. “If I can give that to anyone, I’d be happy. I just want to give back–I think that’s why God left me here.”

Psalm 30:11-12
You have turned my mourning into joyful dancing.
You have taken away my clothes of mourning and clothed me with joy,
that I might sing praises to you and not be silent.
O LORD my God, I will give you thanks forever! 

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Be sure to open this blog in your browser to hear the music video “Worn” by Tenth Avenue North.