Category: attitude

Oct 10

How Paris and God Brought Healing for Me

Jack (Jacques), 7, & Mathis (Matisse), 5, sporting mustaches & “French” poses!

Last month I blogged about “The Tale of Two Towers” and how I spent 12 days at Tower Health Hospital instead of 11 days visiting Paris and the Eiffel Tower (see Sept. 13 post). Today I want to share the joy of how Paris and God showed up bringing healing to my weary soul (FYI my FB friends have seen some, but not all of this story.)

So, when you’re in the hospital and don’t get to go to Paris as planned the month before, what does your family do for your 70th birthday? Of course…they bring Paris TO YOU!

 If you click here IMG_9371, you’ll see a video of the Paris welcome at our youngest daughter’s home. 

French flags everywhere. For Ralph, a black beret, and for me, a fuchsia one with matching scarf and sunglasses.  A large wall hanging featuring Paris landmarks. An Eiffel Tower replica on the table. French birthday greetings.

And lots of French food–including delicious quiches and a cordon bleu casserole made by son-in-law Frank.

And to top it off, in came our Delaware friends Bud and Carol Russell, with whom we were supposed to have gone to Paris and on a Seine River cruise.

Yes, I cried.

I finally cried over having to cancel–on the VERY day we were supposed to leave–our long-anticipated early 50th anniversary celebration.

I cried because I’m so thankful to make it to 70 after surgery for a small bowel obstruction, and a long ago colon cancer diagnosis with only a 40-percent chance of survival.

But mostly I cried because I felt so loved by God and by family members who were excited to celebrate me in such an incredibly creative way. ( I later found out the Paris party was my son-in-law Josh’s idea while I was still in the hospital!).

I wouldn’t trade all that love for a ZILLION trips to Paris. 

Before that special evening I felt quite traumatized by my hospital stay–especially the 10 days with an extremely uncomfortable nasogastric tube–and my emotions had really shut down. As you can imagine, having another colon resection brought back painful flashbacks to 1990. It was as Yankees’ catcher Yogi Berra once quipped: ” Like déjà vu all over again!”

In the hospital and eventually at home, I plodded along trying to recover physically, emotionally and spiritually. But that’s really difficult when you feel like crap–weak, no appetite, in pain, hoarse, and with poor sleep.

I honestly couldn’t even feel God’s presence in those dark days. Oh, I knew intellectually that He was there because He will never leave me. But despite the many prayers, I couldn’t feel Him.

Maybe you’ve been in this “pit” of discouragement sometime. Perhaps you’re even there right now.

Daughters Lindsey, Bethany & Danielle (on the phone with COVID!)

My friend, do not lose hope that God will show up and that supernaturally you will feel His love–and even His joy–again.

I can’t promise that your family will bring Paris to you, but God knows exactly what you need to experience His presence. Keep asking Him…and keep believing He will show up.

He lifted me out of the pit of despair, out of the mud and mire.
He set my feet on solid ground and steadied me as I walked along.
He has given me a new song to sing, a hymn of praise to our God. Psalm 40:1-3

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Open in browser to hear “God is with Us” by The Afters. (My second choice of a song was Lesley Gore’s “It’s My Party and I’ll Cry if I Want To.)

Sep 26

Family Additions: My oncologist has cancer (Part 11)

Not only is my oncologist Dr. Marc Hirsh alive and well 3.5 years after pretty much everyone expected him to die, but his family is growing.

On the same day this month that he got the good news from Hershey Medical that the 2.5-inch tumor behind his heart is still stable, he officially gained another granddaughter! Daughter Sarah adopted  a precious 3-year-old girl, whom the single mom has fostered since she was about 18 months old.

“The official adoption proceedings were great,” Marc told me on the phone a few days ago. “Social services had a big party afterwards for everyone and then Sarah had a party on the weekend with a huge blow-up water slide. It was great!”

The newest Hirsh joins big brother Levi, 9, and  another foster child whom Sarah has had since she was just a few months old.

The other new Hirsh family member is even younger…but much bigger.

Meet Boondock, a loving golden retriever who weighed about 80 pounds at 16 months when he came to Marc and Elizabeth.

Ouachita Lake State Park, Arkansas

Even though they’re both bonafide dog lovers, neither had planned on getting another dog after Marc’s beloved Jake had to be put down in 2020. But when the sweet, golden pup needed a home, it was clear to them that they should welcome “Boonie” into their house…and their 19-foot RV.

“He’s a very good traveler,” Marc said. “He really enjoys the RV although he’s too big to turn around in it and has to back up.”

Boondock is “very comfortable in small spaces” and “scrunches up” into the crawl space below the Hirshes’ bed when they lower it for sleeping, Marc said.

The three of them have plans to go out West and visit daughter Jessi and family in Oregon, with plenty of scenic stops along the way.

“I pick out all the routes and areas I want to see and make all the camping reservations,” Marc explained. “I’m the navigator and Elizabeth does all the driving.”

I asked Marc, 72, how it feels to be surviving a rare, incurable cancer for this long.

“I get anxious a couple of weeks before I go in (for a 6-month recheck) because I still have symptoms,” he acknowledged. “I get winded more easily now and you never know whether it’s old age or something else. I definitely have ‘scanxiety’ and it’s good to get a normal report.”

But he refuses to cower in cancer’s shadow, fretting about the future.

“I’m just kind of at this place where I’m really happy to be alive and have a (sound) mind and be with people I love,” he explained.

Biblehub.com

“Living in the moment really gives me peace,” he added. “I don’t worry about tomorrow. I want to be grateful and concentrate on living for today. I’m not worrying about cancer.”

P.S. Marc is moving his semi-annual checkups to summer and winter so the family can more easily take long road trips in the fall and spring.  Next check-up and blog update: June 2024.

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Open in your browser to enjoy  “You’re Always Here (Psalm 23)” by Rich Mullins, Marc and Elizabeth’s favorite Christian artist. (I wish it was better audio, but the words are still powerful.)

 

 

 

 

 

Jul 05

“Poop Happens!”

When our oldest daughter was six months old, we took her on a two-week car trip out West with my parents and she was a model passenger…well, almost.

I had just finished nursing Danielle while riding in the backseat (back before that was deemed unsafe!) and was holding her in my lap when she let loose with more than her disposable diaper could contain. (Did I mention I was wearing white slacks because we were going to eat at the Officers’ Club when we reached our destination?)

My dad pulled on to a sideroad so I could change Danielle’s diaper, her outfit and wipe off my no-longer-white slacks. And that’s when he noticed the sign: Sore Finger Road.

It seemed like such a funny name out in the middle of the desert that we all just started laughing. From them on, every blowout was judged by whether or not it was “Sore Finger Road” worthy.

Poop happens.

At predictable times, at inconvenient times, sometimes too many times, occasionally not enough times…but it happens.

As a 33-year colorectal cancer survivor, I’m probably a little more obsessed with this topic than most people. But I got the idea to blog about it when I heard songwriter-musician Tim Timmons https://www.timtimmonsmusic.com give a talk on “Poop Happens” at the Bob Goff retreat where we both spoke last month.

Tim explained (and I, of course, verified at https://www.epa.gov/sites/default/files/2015-08/documents/beneficial_uses_of_manure_final_aug2015_1.pdf ) that manure is actually extremely beneficial.

It  loosens (softens) compacted soil.

When soil absorbs manure, helpful nutrients are released, contributing to overall soil health.

It produces oxygen which helps soil breathe.

Runoff is reduced by adding manure, which as Tim explained “holds together the good stuff and lets the bad stuff go.”

It improves crop yield.

No wonder that driving by farmland in the spring assaults our noses with odoriferous country air!

But poop doesn’t just happen literally. It happens figuratively too, doesn’t it?

Something occurs in our life–or the life of someone we care about–and it really stinks! As NY Times bestselling author Rick Warren puts it, “Life is a series of problems: Either you are in one now, you’re just coming out of one, or you’re getting ready to go into another one.”

So true!  And if you’re like me, your first response is to want the “stink” gone…and fast!

But since hearing Tim’s message, I’ve been trying to view the “manure” getting dumped on me as a way God can soften my heart, increase my spiritual growth, and help me let go of the bad stuff while hanging on to the really important, good stuff.

We can rejoice, too, when we run into problems and trials, for we know that they help us develop endurance.
 And endurance develops strength of character, and character strengthens our confident hope of salvation.
—Romans 5:3-4

Dear brothers and sisters, when troubles come your way, consider it an opportunity for great joy.
For you know that when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow.
–James 1:2-3

Tim Timmons

“I lived most of my life trying to stop manure,” Tim says. “I was trying to keep my comfort…but now I ask ‘What’s it revealing about the condition of my heart?'”

In my next blog, I’ll share Tim’s amazing 22-year journey with chronic cancer, but in the meantime, poop is going to happen to you and me. Let’s allow it soften our hearts to the goodness of the Lord and in Him find our joy.

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Be sure to open in your browser to hear “This is the Day,” a very short, upbeat, encouraging song by Tim Timmons © 2021 Integrity Music . (It’s a perfect song to sing any day when poop happens!)

Jun 07

The Healing Power of Your Mind

So, who do you think you talk most to every day?

I know who that person is for me and although I can’t prove it, I bet it’s the same for you.

I don’t usually speak out loud to this person although once in awhile I have been known to blurt out a few words.

I don’t often engage in long conversations with this person, but during the night when I’d rather be sleeping they occasionally drag on.  Sometimes when I talk to this person it’s encouraging, but other times I feel worse when I hear this person speaking.

Can you guess who it is?

Well…the person with whom I converse the most each day is me! And I betting the one with whom you talk most is you.

So if we all talk that much to ourselves, what we tell ourselves becomes really important, doesn’t it?

Especially because our mind’s influence on our body can be positive as well as negative!

And while I don’t believe our thoughts can guarantee completely restored physical, emotional and mental health, I do believe they can influence all of these. Christian psychologist, the late Dr. William Backus says we need to remember three facts:

Your beliefs create your thoughts.

Your thoughts generate feelings.

Your feelings affect your body’s healing systems.

Dr. Backus advocates not just positive-thinking, but telling ourselves the truth about our situation. He has gathered many examples of truthful healing beliefs embraced by those who have survived life-threatening illnesses. Here are a few—I hope you add them to your mind’s “pharmacy” or share them with someone else who needs a healing touch:

  • “I refuse to believe my diagnosis is an automatic death sentence.
  • I believe treatment is effective against this illness, especially the skillful efforts of scientific medicine combined with my strategies for replacing lying thoughts with the truth.
  • I believe my hormones and immune system were created to be on the side of my healing and can work to overcome this illness.
  • I believe God is on the side of my healing because His unbreakable Word says so.
  • I believe I am personally responsible for my treatment and for managing it.
  • I believe hope is a choice. I choose hope, not hopelessness.
  • I believe I’m on earth to share hope, and joy with others. I’m here to love others, regardless of my physical condition.
  • I believe that God’s will is good. I believe that He loves me and wants only the best for me—no matter what He is allowing me to experience right now.
  • I can recover from this illness and live a rich, productive life. But whether I recover or not, I am going to leave this life someday regardless. Until then I can live a full life of service every day for as long as I am given.” *

You don’t just honor God when you speak pleasing words to Him, but you also honor Him when you speak pleasing words to yourself.

Gentle words are a tree of life; a deceitful tongue crushes the spirit.
–Proverbs 15:4

Kind words are like honey—
sweet to the soul and healthy for the body.–Proverbs 16:24

 

*William Backus, The Healing Power of the Christian Mind (Minneapolis: Bethany House, a division of Baker Publishing Group, 1996) 96.
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Open in your browser to hear “Let the Words of My Mouth” by Fernando Ortega.

May 24

Are you telling yourself the truth?

Do you remember the old game show “To Tell the Truth”?

My mother and I enjoyed watching that daytime show in the ’60s, but if you’re not familiar with it then or the later remakes, here’s the gist.

Three people introduce themselves as the same person–a real individual  who has an incredible story to tell. Of course, only one is telling the truth. Four celebrity panelists ask the contestants questions to try and determine whom they believe.

Sometimes my mom and I spotted the truth-teller, but other times we totally believed the convincing, but wrong person.

As a trained journalist, I like to think of myself as a diehard truth-teller. But while my writing facts are accurate, I know some of the things I tell myself (and believe) are not truth-filled. Especially when I’m physically tired and emotionally overwhelmed, my self-talk can sink into lies or at least half-truths. (I don’t know about you, but those old, discouraging “tapes” in my brain can really take over!)

Christian psychologist, the late Dr. William Backus defines self-talk as “the words we tell ourselves about people, self, experiences, life in general, God, the future, the past…all the words you say to yourself all the time.”

Dr. Backus further explains that “In emotional and mental health, what you believe is all important…Other people, circumstances, events and material things are not what make you happy. What you believe about these things is what makes you happy or unhappy.”

That’s why if you don’t want to be fooled by untruths, Dr.Backus says you need to do three things:

  1. Locate your misbeliefs
  2. Remove them.
  3. Replace the misbeliefs with truth.

Here are just a few truths Dr. Backus recommends we tell ourselves:

  • Even if the thing I’m worrying about happens, I can face it without falling apart because God’s Word says my strength is made perfect in weakness.
  • I am not responsible for providing the solutions to everyone’s problems because others can minister as well.
  • God has created me as an emotional being so I can expect to have emotions. But God also has given me the fruit of the Spirit: self-control. I will control my feelings so they can’t control me.

Jesus explained the real source of lies is Satan himself: “He has always hated the truth because there is no truth in him. When he lies, it is consistent with his character; for he is a liar and the father of lies.”

In contrast, one of the phrases Jesus often spoke was “I tell you the truth” or “Verily, verily” as the KJV translates it. He is the ultimate truth-teller and can be trusted.

Does anyone want to live a life that is long and prosperous?
Then keep your tongue from speaking evil and your lips from telling lies. –Psalm 34:12-13

The psalmist might have been thinking about not lying to others, but I believe that spiritual truth applies also to what we tell ourselves.

So what are you facing that needs some truth-telling?  Illness? A chronic health condition?  Divorce? Financial struggles? A wayward child? Grief? Loneliness?

Whatever it is, dear friend, please tell yourself and believe this truth from Dr. Backus: “My circumstances don’t have to be pleasant or happy because my joy comes from my relationship with God and His unchanging faithfulness.”

And now, dear brothers and sisters, one final thing. Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise…Then the God of peace will be with you. –Philippians 4:8-9

NEXT BLOG: THE HEALING POWER OF A CHRISTIAN MIND
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Open in your browser to hear the powerful song “Voice of Truth”  © 2003 by Casting Crowns.