May 26
For most of the past four decades I’ve been a caregiver for family members who were either physically or mentally unwell. I’ve had a relative with dementia living in our home for years, and I’ve made biweekly seven-hour car trips for months to be with another one undergoing chemo. I’ve been so physically fatigued I had to literally crawl up the stairs, and I’ve been so emotionally drained I’ve spent hundreds of dollars to pour out my woes to a counselor.
I’ve nursed my wonderful husband through replacements of three knees (yes, three!) and two shoulders. Thankfully, he is progressing well after his most recent bionic joint and now can drive, dress himself and even comb the back of his hair with his left hand!
Caregiving is incredibly hard. I get it.
But I also know we make helping others even harder when we fail to take good care of ourselves. Even if you’re not a caregiver, you probably have many people in your life counting on your aid. So don’t forget one of the two most important commandments: “Love your neighbor as yourself” (Matthew 22:36-39).
Don’t miss those last two words: “as yourself.” The Bible doesn’t just say to “love your neighbor”–it says that loving them starts with loving ourselves.
It is not selfish to do something refreshing, rejuvenating, or relaxing for yourself. Your “emotional tank” doesn’t come with a loud, flashing warning when it’s getting low. Instead, you have to pay attention to the telltale signs in your life.
Credit Unsplash
And when that figurative tank does need refilling, I recommend three sources of emotional replenishment: From yourself, from others, and supernaturally from God.
When we arrived in Macedonia, there was no rest for us.
We faced conflict from every direction,
with battles on the outside and fear on the inside.
But God, who encourages those who are discouraged,
encouraged us by the arrival of Titus. His presence was a joy.
2 Corinthians 7:5-7
The LORD gives his people strength.
The LORD blesses them with peace. Psalm 29:11
The most loving thing you may do for your loved one today is to be good to yourself. Love yourself so you can truly love your “neighbor.”
Adapted from Peace in the Face of Cancer ©Lynn Eib 2017
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Make sure to open in your browser to hear the music video “Rest for Your Soul” by Austin French.
May 12
Today Dr. Marc Hirsh, my oncologist, my brother in faith and my dear friend, turns 70. I know others who have recently, or will soon, reach this milestone, but none I’m celebrating more than this guy.
An early celebration with staff and a chocolate cake.
That’s because shortly after his birthday last year, Marc was diagnosed with a rare atypical carcinoid tumor of the thymus gland. The 12cm mass behind his heart had caused inflammation of the heart lining, collapsed one lung, difficulty breathing, and terrible pain. It seemed there would be no more birthday celebrations for this man who had dedicated his life to trying to help cancer patients, including me, enjoy more time.
“When I was diagnosed, I honestly thought there was a good chance I was going to die soon,” Marc explained as we chatted on the phone this week. “Some of the doctors at (Johns) Hopkins and other places were pretty pessimistic too, but I’m still here.”
Marc will celebrate seven decades of living by going tent-camping for a few days with his younger daughter and his 7-year-old grandson.
“It is tiring, but I like it,” he explained. (His wife Elizabeth says she now prefers the comfort of her bed over a sleeping bag on the ground and only will be joining the trio during daytime!)
When I asked Marc if he also was celebrating one year as a cancer survivor, he quickly answered.
“Definitely. I’m grateful to feel as good as I do and to be able to do things a year later,” he said. In addition to multiple camping outings, he plans to kayak, paddle board and take out his pontoon boat soon.
However, like many cancer survivors he’s having to get used to a “new normal.”
“I’m adjusting to my new reality–without my practice and without Jake,” Marc said. (His illness forced the immediate closure of his 31-year-old oncology-hematology practice in Hanover, PA, and a few months later, his beloved rescue dog, Jake–who went to the office with him every day– had to be put down.)
“I feel like in the past year I went from age 50 to age 70,” Marc explained. “I don’t have the strength and stamina I did before. I feel old and I never felt old–it’s something I don’t like.”
But Marc is thankful for some aspects of this new life.
“I’m getting to do a lot of things I enjoy, but never had time for,” he said. “I’m relearning a lot of classical (piano) music, reading a lot and doing sports with my grandson.” (Before his two granddaughters returned to their West Coast home, they enjoyed music and science lessons with him, as well as some serious Lego building!)
“I’m adjusting to my new reality and I look forward to future events,” Marc said. “Elizabeth and I are really enjoying each other and I’m getting a lot of satisfaction from my marriage. I feel like I’m in a good place spiritually. I have good faith and I don’t have many moments of fear.”
And this birthday has been especially sweet because of all the cards he’s been receiving from friends, patients and colleagues.
“It’s crazy how many birthday cards I’ve gotten,” he said. “It’s really beautiful that so many people care about me. A lot have handwritten notes thanking me for things I’ve done. I’m really grateful and humbled by all of them.
LifeHopeandTruth.com
“I was flooded with cards when I was first diagnosed and to know that people still think about me a year later is really heartwarming,” he added.
When I asked Marc what was especially encouraging to him these days, he said “I seem to be feeling a deeper sense of God and love that is almost inexpressible. It seems to be welling up inside of me and I really feel more loving.”
Marc, here’s to many more birthdays filled with God’s love and ours for you, too.
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Don’t miss the music video below, “The Love of God” by Marc and Elizabeth’s favorite Christian artist, Rich Mullins.
Apr 28
Ring the bells again!
The last time I set these bells on the arm of my husband’s La-Z-Boy recliner was January 2017 after his bilateral knee replacement. Well, today he gets a shoulder replaced. So once again I want him to be able to summon me day and night–hence TWO bells. The smaller one is for routine needs and the larger bell for more urgent requests.
When I posted a similar bell photo four years ago, there was much concern among readers that I might not hear these bells, so just to ease everyone’s minds, for this rehab I have added two maracas–he can shake one for routine desires and both for bigger needs. The shaking can double as therapy too. (I guess you can tell this is not my first rodeo!) Today’s surgery brings the replacement tally to two shoulders and three knees (if you count the one that got infected and had to be re-replaced!)
And it also ushers in the waiting.
Me, dropping my partner of 47 years at the surgicenter entrance and heading home to wait because of COVID-19 protocols. Me, with my cell phone in my pocket waiting for the surgeon to inform me that the procedure is finished. Me, waiting for my husband to emerge from anesthesia fog and FaceTime with me tonight. Me, waiting tomorrow for the word from a nurse than I can bring my bionic guy home.
And then more waiting. For muscles and nerves to heal from surgery trauma. For range of motion to improve. For strength to return. For life to feel normal again.
For what are you waiting these days?
For your body to heal?
For your marriage to be revived?
For the pain to subside?
For a loved one to trust in Jesus?
For wisdom to deal with a rude co-worker?
For patience in finding a new job?
I’m pretty sure there’s some prayer of longing on your heart today. And I’m also willing to bet that like me, you’re not a fan of the waiting. When I’m waiting, my mind often travels to not-so-good places. I begin to doubt, then worry and sometimes even fear.
The Bible is full of stories about waiting as God doesn’t seem averse to letting people wait for His promises. Scripture tells of God-loving people waiting… waiting in the desert, waiting in the belly of a large fish, waiting for a child, waiting for a prodigal, waiting in prison, waiting for healing, waiting for a Messiah. The Psalms are full of their heart cries for deliverance.
So as I wait, I choose to fix my wandering mind on their prayers.
Wait patiently for the Lord.
Be brave and courageous.
Yes, wait patiently for the Lord. Psalm 27:14
I wait for the LORD, my whole being waits,
and in His word I put my hope. Psalm 130:5
Image from LifeHopeandTruth.com
Let all that I am wait quietly before God,
for my hope is in Him. Psalm 62:5
We wait in hope for the LORD;
He is our help and our shield.
In Him our hearts rejoice,
for we trust in His holy name,
May your unfailing love be with us, LORD,
even as we put our hope in You. Psalm 33:20-22
My friend, I’m waiting in expectant hope with you for God’s answer to your prayers. I know He will be faithful.
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P.S. Yesterday as I was writing this blog, my husband walked by the living room and noticed the bells were out. I explained how I had included two maracas for his added ability to summon me, but I must say, for some reason he did not seem impressed! :-)+++++++++++++
Be sure to open in your browser to hear the music video “The Waiting” by Jamie Grace.
Apr 14
Image by PublicDomainPictures from Pixabay
I don’t think most people are truly prepared to get bad news–especially concerning our health or a loved one’s. Instead we hope against hope that things will not turn out as we fear and the whole nightmare will go away. Right up until I saw the look on my gastroenterologist’s face after my colonoscopy in June 1990, I had hoped—and believed—there was nothing wrong with me. (So much for the power of positive thinking!)
I don’t know if some bad news has taken you by surprise, but I guarantee it has not caught God off-guard.
He is all-knowing.
He is all-seeing.
He is all-powerful.
He is in control of everything.
He knows what you need and when you need it.
You may feel unprepared for what you’re facing, but God is prepared. And He is preparing things for you—good things—things you haven’t even thought of.
No eye has seen, no ear has heard, and no mind has imagined
what God has prepared for those who love him.
1 Corinthians 2:9
And I believe He literally goes before all of His followers into each new day to provide what we’ll need for that day. Hear His promise through Moses’ words in Deuteronomy 31:8:
“Do not be afraid or discouraged, for the Lord will personally go ahead of you.
He will be with you; he will neither fail you nor abandon you.”
Or as The Message paraphrase puts it:
God is striding ahead of you. He’s right there with you. He won’t let you down; he won’t leave you.
Don’t be intimidated. Don’t worry.
Authors Henry and Richard Blackaby in their devotional Experiencing God Day by Day explain God’s promise this way: 
“God never sends you into a situation alone. He always goes before His children as He did with the children of Israel when He led them with a cloud by day and a pillar of fire by night. . . . He always precedes you in any situation you encounter. God is never caught by surprise by your experience; He has already been there. He is prepared to meet your every need because He has gone before you and knows exactly what you will need for your pilgrimage.”
And the really good news is that He doesn’t just go on ahead of us, He stays with us, too, ensuring we are never alone.
“Not only does God go before you, but He also stands beside you and behind you, to provide protection and comfort,” the Blackabys add. “If you are going through a difficult or confusing time, know that the Lord has gone before you and He is present with you. He is fully aware of what you are facing, and He is actively responding to your need.”
My friend, God knows exactly what you and I need to get through today.
It’s okay if you feel disbelief or shock or unprepared for whatever’s next. Perhaps you would like to pray Psalm 25:5: Lead me by Your truth and teach me, for You are the God who saves me. All day long I put my hope in You.
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Be sure to open in your browser to hear the beautiful song “Christ Be All Around Me” by All Sons & Daughters.
Mar 31
Image by Andrea Barstow from Pixabay
There’s nothing funny about cancer. But after my diagnosis in 1990, I figured laughter could be good medicine for our family.
Upon learning that my chemo pill actually was a worming medicine designed to kill intestinal parasites in sheep and dogs, I would pop one in my mouth and start barking and chasing my squealing daughters around the house. My husband mentioned to our friends that I had been de-wormed and he was thinking of getting me a rabies shot too. The pills were expensive and he often suggested we call our cat’s vet to try and get them cheaper. (A regular comedian, huh?)
My support groups had a reputation for lots of laughing. And every time we laughed together, it reminded us we still were alive . . . and that always was worth celebrating!
Image by Andrea Barstow from Pixabay
If you don’t have a laughing support group (or a comedian husband!), Dave Dravecky’s Outreach of Hope (now https://www.endurance.org) years ago published five suggestions to “strengthen your funny bone:”
Pastor Rick Warren
In his NY Times bestseller, The Purpose-Driven Life, Rick Warren writes that our first purpose in life is to please God. Or as Warren puts it, “The smile of God is the goal of your life.”
No matter what you’ve gone through or what still lies ahead—whether you have no cancer, a little cancer or a lot of cancer; whether your trial disappears, grows more intense or perhaps never leaves—will you choose choose to please God and bring a smile to His face? It is your choice.
I have a blessing for you from Numbers 6:24-26 today:
May the Lord bless you and protect you.
May the Lord smile on you and be gracious to you.
May the Lord show you His favor
and give you His peace.
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Be sure to open in your browser to hear “The Blessing” from Bethel Music. You may even want to close your eyes and hear this as a prayer for you.
I’m a newspaper reporter-turned-author. And I’m a passionate encourager, but always a truth-teller. I worked for nearly two decades in a unique position as a patient advocate in my oncologist’s office and the Cancer Prayer Support Group I founded in 1991 is the country’s oldest such faith-based group.
