Author Chris Tiegreen says that God writes stories with our lives to teach us deep truths. Here’s how I learned a big one.
In March 2007, an author I was reading suggested we thank the person who “walked across the room” and first invited us to faith.
Me 1972
I knew I needed to contact Dave Sheldon, who along with my my roommate Jackie invited me to a Campus Crusade for Christ meeting at Ohio State in January 1972. (I wasn’t really interested, but said I’d go because I didn’t want Jackie to look “holier” than me!)
At that meeting I surrendered leadership of my life to Jesus and have never looked back.
Although Dave and I were friends in college, I’d never really thanked him for taking that step of inviting me to a deeper faith.
So I prayed God would help me find Dave. The last I knew he was a pastor in Columbus, so I searched online through the OSU alumni directory, phone books and church websites. I even called a few numbers, but couldn’t find him. After a couple of frustrating hours, I gave up.
Okay, God, I thought You would want me to find Dave Sheldon.But if You want me to wait until Heaven to thank him, then I guess that’s what I’ll have to do.
That Christmas when my husband, our eldest daughter Danielle and I visited my parents in Ashland, Ohio (1¼ hours north of Columbus), we wanted to see a particular movie and asked Danielle to research the day, time and place options. She chose an old theater downtown, but discovered the movie would be shown upstairs with no elevator for my Mom.
So, Danielle picked a theater in Mansfield, about 30 minutes away. We went out to lunch first and afterwards I wanted to go back to our motel and get my buttered popcorn jellybeans for the movie, but Ralph said there wasn’t time. (Amazingly, I didn’t argue.)
We drove to Mansfield arriving 40 minutes early! (Shockingly, I didn’t whine.) We bought our tickets and discussed how to kill time before the movie. Mom needed something at Walmart and the GPS indicated one nearby, but after calculating our arrival time, I decided we didn’t have time. Instead I suggested we head into Bed, Bath & Beyond next to the theater.
With Mom on my arm, we walked very slowly up the store aisle looking at our youngest daughter Lindsey’s wedding registry dishes. After about 25 minutes, I started to head back down the same aisle because it was the fastest way out, but a little voice in my head said,“Why don’t you relax and take her down another aisle to enjoy looking at some different things?”
So we walked to the far side of the store and down the last aisle. Near the end, Mom stopped at a big display of Ohio State paraphernalia.
A man standing near all the scarlet-and-gray looked up and said: “Lynn?”
I answered “Yes” and he looked quizzically at my face. “YouareLynn, aren’t you?”
Again I said, “Yes” while thinking:I’ve finally been recognized by a complete stranger who read one of my books—this is so cool!
The man grinned and said: “Dave Sheldon.”
I was speechless as I hugged him for dear life. I managed to blurt out that I had prayed to find and thank him for inviting me to the meeting which changed my life. I learned he lived in Mansfield and was in the store killing time waiting for his family! (I still marvel that Dave recognized me after 34 years–undoubtedly a perk of never changing my hairstyle!)
That night I put my head on my pillow and my smile refused to disappear as I pondered the fact God somehow managed to put Dave Sheldon and me in the same state, the same city, the same store, the same aisle, at the same display at the exact same moment in time.
My prayer was not answered as quickly or in the way I originally had hoped. Instead, God wrote a deep truth on my heart:
I have a confession to make. I’ve never even admitted it in public before.
I enjoy romantic Hallmark movies.
Yes, I know they all have the same plot: A beautiful, successful city girl visits her small hometown, where she meets/gets reacquainted with a rugged, handsome guy, who has nothing better to do than help her every day until they fall madly in love and drive off in his pickup.
I simply love happy endings.
In fact, I really don’t like to watch any movie that doesn’t have one. I guess it’s because I see so much sorrow and sickness in real life.
So, may I share a personal story with a very happy ending?
I have gone on only one blind date in my life: April 6, 1973. I was 19 and finishing up my junior year of college. My friend Janet and her husband Tom set up a next-day double date for me with the assistant manager of the Christian bookstore that Tom ran. I already had plans to play table tennis with a guy who was perfecting my forehand slam, but I broke that date (another first).
We saw the movie Doctor Zhivago and had sundaes at Friendly Ice Cream afterward. I remember I ordered a junior hot fudge because I didn’t want my date to think I was a big eater.
Apparently, my small appetite impressed him because on June 4, after two whole months of dating, Ralph proposed. I immediately said yes–basically the first and last impulsive thing I’ve ever done in my 70 years.
We married Dec. 29, 1973, which makes this Friday our 50th anniversary.
We’ve had our share of struggles–trying to make ends meet while paying my tuition and Ralph’s seminary loans, as well as hospital bills from his late wife’s battle with ALS. The ending of our first pregnancy with a Mother’s Day miscarriage in ’77. The diagnosis of my colon cancer in 1990 with a 40-percent chance to survive.
Ralph has endured replacing two shoulders and three knees (not a typo– one got infected and had to be redone after I gave him six weeks of daily IV antibiotics). Most recently I developed a small bowel obstruction, which could have taken my life, but thankfully was successfully resected.
We’ve weathered the ups and downs of more than three decades of pastoral ministry and spent years caring for aging relatives who had neither the strength nor the finances to care for themselves.
I married Ralph because I believed that together we could serve God better…and by His grace I think that has happened.
It’s incredible what one blind date has led to: three daughters, three granddaughters, four grandsons, two sons-in-law, and half-a-century of getting to know and love God more, while trying to help others do the same.
And that’s my happy-ending story.
Of course, we don’t know how it eventually ends here on earth, but praise God, we do know that an unending happily-ever-after awaits us in Heaven.
Please rejoice with our love story as you listen to this love song, which I’m dedicating to my husband…and to my Savior.
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Ralph and I were married Dec. 29, 1973, so our first husband-and-wife Christmas was ’74. I was an unemployed, recent college grad and he was making $5,000 as assistant manager of a Christian bookstore.
We were living in a family’s basement, but wanted to have our own tree, so Ralph went searching. There weren’t many left, but he found a tree lot with a few. The smallest, cheapest one was $4.
“I only have $3,” my forlorn-looking husband told the tree-seller as he held up three crumpled bills..
The gentleman thought for a moment, then agreed to the bargain price.
We decorated it with a single strand of lights, popcorn and cranberry garlands, a few ornaments my folks sent from Germany, and others I quilled from colored strips of paper.
It’s still my favorite Christmas tree memory.
Chuck & Pat in 2023
Our plans were to stay in the basement of Chuck and Pat, a local Baptist pastor and his wife, for a “a week or two” until the house we were going to rent became unoccupied. All of our furniture and meager belongings already were packed and stored in that house’s dining room.
But the rental fell through and we were pretty bummed because living in a house seemed quite preferable to residing in someone’s basement bedroom.
But of course God had a far better plan. Our “short” stay with our older and wiser friends and their two small children stretched into three months, forging a precious friendship which has endured for 49 years.
I loved learning about cooking, mothering, and serving God from my beautiful friend Pat. And I still remember the best piece of advice she gave me as we prepared to move in January 1975 to Franklinville, NY, for Ralph’s first pastoral position.
“A lot of people in the church are going to have expectations for what a pastor’s wife should do,” Pat explained. “Don’t worry about them–just listen to God and do what pleases Him.”
That advice has been my mantra as I have tried to follow Christ all theses decades. A few times I’ve heard God loud and clear, but mostly it has been His “still, small voice.” (1 Kings 19:11-12)
How about you–what are you longing to hear from our Heavenly Father? Encouragement? Direction? Comfort? Wisdom? Hope?
I love how British Anglican priest Nicky Gumbel explains five ways God speaks to us (listed from most common to least):
READING—We study the Bible, which shows God’s general will for all people at all times Psalm 119:105 says “Your word is a lamp to guide my feet and a light for my path.”
LISTENING–We quiet ourselves to hear the Spirit of God. The more we know God, the better we will recognize His voice while awake or sleeping! (John 10:3 )
THINKING–We trust our rational minds, not just our emotional leanings. Romans 12:2 says “Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.” (Renewing of your mind, not removing!)
TALKING–We seek out the counsel of other Christians. Proverbs 12:15 explains: “Fools think their own way is right, but the wise listen to others.”
WATCHING— We look for circumstantial signs–coincidences may be divine interventions! (Acts 16:6)
God still speaks to us today, my friend. May you read, listen, think, talk, and watch for His voice of truth, hope and peace.
P.S. I’m pretty sure the tree-seller on that December day in 1974 heard and responded to the voice of God …whether he ever realized it or not.
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At age 37 Chris Lawrence looked to be the picture of a happy, healthy life. He had a loving wife and a beautiful 6-month-old daughter. He led outdoor adventures for a large Christian ministry and spent his free time enjoying strenuous activities like rock climbing, whitewater rafting, downhill skiing, backpacking, long distance running and mountain climbing.
But then came the searing back pain and eventually an MRI, which in the spring of 2016 revealed bile duct cancer spread to his liver, ribs, back and pelvis.
“I had been running triathlons and doing well, only to find out my health was bankrupt,” Chris told me in our recent phone conversation.
He and his wife Elizabeth met with three oncologists and each physician issued the same dire message: stage 4…incurable…no hope any treatment will help…maybe a year or so to live.
“One doctor said ‘we’ll put a metal rod in your back to help with the pain, but you’re pretty much going to die’,” he recalls. “It was the most depressing, worst thing ever.”
The first oncologist was near Chris’s Colorado Springs home and the next two were in South Dakota, where he had relocated so his parents could help care for his family. It was there in his hometown of Sioux Falls, Chris decided to make an appointment at Avera Cancer Institute–expecting to hear the same depressing news.
After getting blood work for “genomic sequencing” to identify the unique DNA fingerprint of Chris’s cancer, the couple and his parents met with oncologist #4, researcher Dr. Brian Leyland-Jones, Chief Medical Officer of the National Foundation for Cancer Research.
“We received the results of your genomic sequencing and in short, it’s good,” said the British doc with white wispy hair . “I know how to treat this.”
Chris’s reaction was “Wait…what??? He knows how to treat this? Of course, he made no promises, but it felt like hope walked into the room.”
His elated father scribbled “HOPE” across a nearby white board, signaling its arrival for the devastated family.
After a couple months of a multi-drug experimental treatment guided by the genomic testing, scans showed all the tumors were dying. More than a year later, Chris was declared in complete remission, where he miraculously has remained for seven years, even resuming his former athletic lifestyle.
Chris always will remember the moment when medical hope walked in the door, but he is clear that he already had deep spiritual hope. In fact, his favorite verse is Psalm 71:14 “But as for me, I always will have hope.”
“I still was terrified about dying and leaving my wife and daughter,” he says. “It was incredibly difficult and there were no guarantees, but I had this hope God somehow would take care of my family.“
Unbeknownst to Chris, shortly after scrawling “HOPE” on that board, his dad also reserved the website address https://www.hopehasarrived.com
And in 2018 Chris founded Hope Has Arrived, a nonprofit dedicated to helping cancer survivors and their families through hope-filled stories, practical resources and prayer. To date they have assisted more than 3 million people.
“Our mission is to help you find hope, strength and peace against cancer,” explains Chris, who serves as the unpaid executive director, along with a team of volunteers.
“When your life is threatened and you’re in the pit, you realize just how vital hope is,” Chris says. “And for me, I found that it was the key to facing cancer.
“That’s what I want for other people facing cancer: to find hope—to find hope like I have.”
I pray the God, the source of hope, will fill you completely with joy and peace because you trust in Him.
Then you will overflow will confident hope though the power of the Holy Spirit.–Romans 15:13
My friend Bunnie is a redheaded, retired heavy equipment operator with a delightful New England accent who loves to laugh. On weekends she “clowns” around at the local Dairy Queen whipping up balloons and smiles for children. On weekdays she takes off her clown make-up and cooks hot meals, which she joyfully delivers to the homeless folks in a nearby neighborhood.
Did I mention that she has stage 4 tongue cancer, carries her portable oxygen tank everywhere and is on hospice?
The year before her diagnosis, Bunnie moved to Florida and wondered what she would do in her post-retirement life.
“I was laughing so much, I dreamt I should be a clown,” she recalls with a chuckle. Bunnie Googled “clown schools,” found one only two hours from her new home, took the courses, and became a member of the Fellowship of Christian Magicians.
Then she began volunteering at her local Dairy Queen, performing magic tricks and twisting balloons into animal shapes. While the children enjoyed their ice cream, she shared character-building stories and told them about God’s love for them.
But in August 2013, the shows stopped when Bunnie was diagnosed with inoperable tongue cancer. Doctors told her that without chemo and radiation, she probably had six months to live. She was devastated with that prognosis, but resolute in her faith: “You can even take my tongue, and I’ll still find a way to share the gospel,” she announced to her doctor.
Bunnie had thirty-five radiation and eight chemo treatments. Following a two-week hiatus, she was back clowning at Dairy Queen.
After she read a copy of my first book, When God & Cancer Meet, Bunnie felt as if God were telling her to share her story by giving away copies of that book. So she bought dozens and passed them out to cancer patients and caregivers.
Then in May 2015 more bad news–a scan showed the cancer had spread to her lungs.
“I was really, really devastated for a little while—for maybe an hour or something,” she told me, chuckling on the phone, after we became Facebook friends. “The Lord said, ‘You’re still here for Me and I’m going to use you right here at the cancer center.’”
She headed back for more treatment and armed with more books (a final total of 425, she says!).
Think about it…Bunnie had every reason to be bitter—a devastating cancer diagnosis in a new state with no family nearby, just when she was ready to relax and enjoy retirement. Cancer of the tongue when she loves to talk fast and laugh often.
But Bunnie knows what I hope you do too—that your purpose in life never changes. It is the same whether you or your loved one has a lot of cancer, a little cancer, or no cancer. Your purpose in life—and mine—is to know God and love Him more, and to help others know God and love Him more.
Bunnie says her life verse is the same one I have chosen in my retirement: “My life is worth nothing to me unless I use it for finishing the task assigned to me by the Lord Jesus
—the work of telling others the Good News about the wonderful grace of God.” Acts 20:24
As long as you have breath (even if it’s from an oxygen tank), God is not finished with you!
UPDATE: In 2018 Bunnie passed away, 4.5 years after her initial diagnosis.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ Please enjoy the incredible testimony and original song “These Walls” from Jason Davis, the pastor who lost 80-percent of his tongue to cancer.
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About Me
I’m a newspaper reporter-turned-author. And I’m a passionate encourager, but always a truth-teller. I worked for nearly two decades in a unique position as a patient advocate in my oncologist’s office and the Cancer Prayer Support Group I founded in 1991 is the country’s oldest such faith-based group.
Since my diagnosis in 1990 of locally advanced colon cancer, I’ve offered hope to hundreds of thousands of cancer patients and their caregivers. I pray you will find encouragement here, too!