Category: grief

4 Things Not to Say to Suffering People

Two days after my cancer surgery in 1990 at the age of 36, a friend came into my hospital room  with a smile on her face as she announced: “God is going to teach you great things through this trial!” I wanted to take the IV out of my arm, stab it in hers, and …

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Why did God let this happen?

When you believe in God, it can be hard to come to terms with the fact that He has allowed adversity to come into your life or your loved one’s. In the book If God Is So Good, Why Do I Hurt So Bad?  author David Biebel says there are two truths suffering people have to …

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The Tale of Two Towers

Two “tower” options…which would you prefer? An 11-day visit to Paris, including the Eiffel Tower, Louvre, Notre Dame, Sainte-Chapelle and all-you-can-eat meals on a week-long riverboat cruise up the Seine. Or a 12-day stay at Pottstown Hospital-Tower Health, including 10 days without eating or drinking, an NG tube, a PICC line and a bowel resection. …

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The Goodness of God and the “Badness” of Life

The other morning as I listened to CeCe Winans belt out the song “The Goodness of God,” I suddenly had flashbacks of “bad” things I’ve experienced in my nearly seven decades of living. A Mother’s Day miscarriage. A life-threatening cancer diagnosis. Untimely deaths of dear friends. Painful turmoil in churches. Addiction crises ending in suicides. …

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SIX THINGS ALWAYS TO SAY TO GRIEVERS

The holidays often are especially difficult for those who have lost a loved one.  How do we convey sympathy without saying something irritating or even downright painful? Have you ever felt helpless knowing what to say when someone has experienced a deep loss? Here are my thoughts on SIX THINGS ALWAYS TO SAY TO GRIEVERS. I’m …

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SIX THINGS NEVER TO SAY TO GRIEVERS

Is there anyone you’ll be missing this Christmas? I know so many who have “lost” loved ones this year. A spouse of 55 years.  A  43-year-old father of two teenage girls. An 88-year-old amazing grandpa. A 22-year-old son killed on a motorcycle. A best man from a long ago wedding.  A 9-year-old little girl tearfully …

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Are you a Titus? Or do you need one?

I remember so well the first cancer support group meeting I attended at our community  hospital. It was the summer of 1990. I was a 36-year-old reporter for a York, PA, newspaper and recently had interviewed Mary Flinner, the new group’s facilitator. When I showed up at a support group meeting a few weeks after my story …

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The Power of “Even If”

This past weekend my husband and I traveled to western New York for my first in-person speaking engagements since the pandemic began. (I’ve only been doing Zoom events so it was a little more work figuring out what pair of nice pants to wear 🙂 ) While in the area, we had the joy of …

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“Just let ’em fall like healing rain”

May I be honest and share two things?…First, this short post is mainly for me. And second, the song at the end is the best part of it. I’m writing for myself because unwelcome events have left a trail of sadness in my heart. Perhaps you can relate. I’m mourning two years of a brutal …

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Grieving something or someone this Christmas?

I thought it wouldn’t. But it did. It happened again. Kenny G was belting out jazzy, holiday cheer. A burning candle wafted a delicious candy cane scent. I was by myself happily decorating our house for Christmas. I lifted a slightly torn, rectangular box out of the large plastic storage bin and chuckled to myself. This box …

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