Category: disappointment

Aug 23

Searching for a 100-percent Guarantee

            I remember back in 1990 when doctors told me I had about a 40- or 50-percent chance of surviving my colon cancer, which had metastasized to several lymph nodes. I felt as if someone were going to toss a coin: heads, I live; tails, I don’t. I desperately wanted …

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Aug 16

Is Jesus REALLY Enough?

          My cancer diagnosis  in 1990 was especially upsetting to my husband because he had lost his first wife nearly 20 years before to ALS (Lou Gehrig’s disease) while they were still newlyweds. To watch me then face a life-threatening illness and an uncertain future was more than he felt he …

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Aug 02

How have you NOT wasted your cancer?

        I love hearing from cancer survivors and their caregivers about ways they have found to not waste the suffering/trials/changes/hardships/sorrow cancer brings. Some have walked in relays to raise money for cancer research. Some have volunteered to transport patients to medical appointments. Some have organized bone marrow drives to find matching donors. Some have …

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May 10

When Your Prayers Aren’t Answered the Way You Hoped

        May is a tough month for me. It’s the month of mournful memories—difficult prayers which were not answered the way I hoped. A miscarriage at three months into my first pregnancy on May 8, 1977—Mother’s Day of all things. My father’s death on May 20, 2011, alone in his apartment except …

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Mar 01

How to Encourage the Discouraged

        I remember so well the first cancer support group meeting I attended at our community  hospital. It was the summer of 1990. I was a reporter for a local newspaper and recently had interviewed Mary, the new group’s facilitator. When I showed up at a support group meeting just eight weeks after …

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Feb 22

How to Handle Stupid Remarks

“To handle yourself, use your head; to handle others, use your heart.” Attributed to Eleanor Roosevelt “Oh, my grandmother had that kind of cancer—she didn’t last long.” “Just stay positive and you’ll be fine.” “My neighbor had that—he was in a lot of pain.” “God doesn’t give you more than you can handle!” Heard any of …

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Feb 15

No more bad news!

        Would you believe I’m typing this blog at 11:20 p.m. the night before? I was lying in bed thinking about my day: naming things for which I’m thankful and praying for those in need when it hit me: I never wrote a blog for this week! AAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGHHHHHHH!!! Part of me thought that …

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Dec 07

Missing Someone at Christmas

          I thought it wouldn’t. But it did. It happened again this year. Kenny G was belting out jazzy, holiday cheer. A burning candle wafted a delicious candy cane scent. I was home by myself happily decorating our house for Christmas. I  pulled a yellowed and torn rectangular box out of the …

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Nov 23

Unexpected Blessings from God

        I was always amazed when the discussion at my support group meetings turned to the blessings that had come through the survivors’ cancer experiences. Somehow the words blessing and cancer in the same sentence just don’t make sense. I’m a very logical, rational person and having colon cancer at the age …

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Oct 05

Guaranteed to Survive?

      “To what do you attribute your survival?” That was the question posed to me by a newly diagnosed cancer patient in the office when I was working as a patient advocate. He was just a little younger than me and undergoing chemo for “my” kind of cancer so we had a kind of special bond. …

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