Category: caregivers

Aug 15

SIX THINGS NEVER TO SAY TO GRIEVERS

  If you want to start a lively discussion sometime, just ask a roomful of grievers whether anyone has made an insensitive remark to them since their loved ones died. I guarantee you the recollections will be vivid, free-flowing and still hurtful no matter how much time has passed. We all encounter grieving people and …

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Aug 08

Does Everything REALLY Happen for a Reason?

  Everything happens for a reason.  Has anyone said that to you since your or your loved one’s diagnosis? I’m wondering how it made you feel? I have to be honest and say that phrase usually annoys me. So if it’s your favorite phrase in life and you love to say it or have people …

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Jul 25

Encouraging a Depressed Loved One

  The word “encourage” means to inspire or fill someone with courage, spirit or hope. But how in the world do you encourage someone who is depressed? To answer that difficult question, I’d like to share some thoughts from the book New Light on Depression by David Biebel, D.Min. and Harold Koenig, M.D. “Family members, loved …

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Jul 11

I Don’t Want to Take One Day at a Time

  There are certain “encouraging” phrases spoken to people going through difficulties which drive me nuts. “It’s all gonna work out.” (So you have a crystal ball and can see my future?) “I’m sure everything’s going to be fine.” (Because nothing bad ever happens to nice people?!) “Just take it one day at a time.” (Thanks, I’d rather …

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Jul 04

Celebrating a Second Chance at Life Together

  My husband and I celebrate two anniversaries every year–not because we married twice, but because God gave us a second chance at life together. We have celebrated December 29 for the past 44 years as the day two starry-eyed twenty-somethings said “I do” without realizing, of course, what they really were going to have …

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Jun 13

I’m Not Hanging on Any Longer

Last week I wrote about the struggle I was having to hang in there through a difficult season of stress–some of it bad, some of it good, but stress nonetheless. This week my husband and I are anticipating his knee “re-replacement” on June 18 (if it doesn’t get postponed again!) And as I write, we …

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Jun 06

What to Do When the Stress Never Ends

  I just needed to hang in there until May 31. I knew April and May would be ridiculously busy with extensive traveling, speaking engagements, ministering to cancer patients/caregivers, serving on faculty at writing conferences, milestone family celebrations, and teaching discipleship classes. But I just had to make it until May 31 and then my …

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May 16

“You never really understand a person until you…climb into his skin and walk around in it.”

  This To Kill a Mockingbird snippet of advice comes from Harper Lee’s fictional character Atticus Finch, a white attorney defending a black man falsely accused of rape in a racist 1930s southern community. Finch is adamant that his own children learn to treat everyone with compassion, regardless of their outward differences and admonishes them to try to …

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Apr 25

Do you need a vacation from illness?

  Ever feel like you need a vacation from cancer, dementia, ALS, heart disease or whatever health trial you’re facing? You probably do—at least a mental one and maybe a physical one as well. Believe it or not the chemo room at Dr. Marc Hirsh’s office, where I worked as a patient advocate for nearly 20 …

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Apr 18

Who’s taking care of YOU?

  Do you know what to do if you’re on an airplane and there’s a sudden loss of cabin pressure? Scream? Pray? Scream prayers? All good suggestions, but if you had paid attention to the flight attendant before takeoff, you would know to “secure your own oxygen mask first before you help others.”  If you …

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