Category: waiting

Jun 06

What to Do When the Stress Never Ends

 

I just needed to hang in there until May 31.

I knew April and May would be ridiculously busy with extensive traveling, speaking engagements, ministering to cancer patients/caregivers, serving on faculty at writing conferences, milestone family celebrations, and teaching discipleship classes. But I just had to make it until May 31 and then my schedule would clear, I could relax and shift out of stressful, high-gear living. I knew I could do it.

But that was before we met with the doctor on May 30.

Unexplained, intermittent pain in my husband’s right knee–now a year-and-a-half since bilateral  replacements–led us to yet-another appointment with his surgeon.  An earlier CT scan confirmed what we already knew, i.e. something’s not right. Blood work did not indicate an infection, but the doctor wanted to aspirate some fluid “just to make sure.”

We were anticipating my husband would need a “revision” surgery, placing a small, steel rod beneath his tibia, which appeared to be slipping. It would be a much easier procedure than what he’d already been through and very little rehab required. in fact, the pain should be improved pretty much immediately.

We weren’t crazy about him having to have more surgery–he’s already had four procedures on that knee (two invasive and two arthroscopic)–but it didn’t sound like a big deal. Kind of like when you’ve survived cancer and then a doctor tells you that you have a kidney stone. The latter doesn’t seem nearly as daunting because of what you’ve already faced.

But when the surgeon withdrew the second tube of fluid, he said his “stomach dropped.” Instead of the clear color he expected, it looked yellow and cloudy–normally a sign of infection. Now the conversation shifted from “propping up” the tibia, to removing the entire replacement, cleaning out the area and at some point putting in a new joint followed by extended antibiotics and extensive rehabilitation.

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Just when I almost had made it to May 31.

Do you know that feeling? It happens when your life has been spinning out of control and you discover that the light you see at the end of the tunnel is really an oncoming train. Or when the roller coaster of bad news just keeps taking another plunge.  Or when you can’t seem to catch a break with your job, your finances, your kids, your………………..fill in the blank.

Maybe the bottom dropped out just when you thought you had gotten through it all. Just when you thought life would slow down. Just when you imagined the stress would end. Just when you could exhale.

But now, like me, you are waiting and wondering. How big and heavy is that train I see coming? Is there any chance to derail it? Can I possibly jump away before impact?

Good questions. And I don’t know any of the answers. But I do know how I prayed  after that doctor appointment  and how God answered.

“Lord, I feel terrible for my husband to have to go through pain and excruciating work AGAIN and honestly, I feel terrible for ME to have to go through exhausting caregiving again. It doesn’t make sense. And because I already know how difficult it may be, I can’t logically feel okay about it.

“But, I’m praying and believing that Your Holy Spirit can bring me a peace that passes all understanding. A peace that isn’t based on what I can see or know or even feel on my own, but simply on Your supernatural power to do more than I can ask or imagine.”

I prayed that last Friday. On Saturday morning when I read my Bible, words jumped off the page and encouraged my heart. On Sunday morning, the worship music lifted my spirits and the message was just what I needed to hear. Nothing had changed in our circumstances and no new information was obtained concerning our future, but it was well with my soul.

God will do the same for you and your loved one.

“Don’t worry about anything; instead pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he’s done. Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand, His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.” Philippians 4:6-7

P.S. Surgery–of some sort–is scheduled for 1 p.m. Friday, June 8. If I don’t blog for a while, it’s because I’m taking really good care of my guy!

If the music video below doesn’t automatically load, click here https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iCR_Fa8YV2U

 

 

 

 

 

May 30

Why You Shouldn’t Trust Everything You See and Hear

 

I was in sunny Colorado (hence the glow on our faces!) visiting Gigi, my friend of 40 years, when all the hoopla broke over “Laurel or Yanny.”  After we finally stopped talking and playing Boggle long enough to listen, I was shocked Gigi heard “Yanny,” as I would have bet my firstborn that the word was “Laurel” (sorry, Danielle). If you’ve been living under a rock, here’s the recording http://time.com/5278817/yanny-or-laurel-audio-clip-debate/  

I’m the kind of skeptical person who likes to depend on my own five senses, but debates like this one (and the white/gold or blue/black dress uproar in 2015 https://www.nytimes.com/2015/02/28/business/a-simple-question-about-a-dress-and-the-world-weighs-in.html) remind me that we can’t always trust what we see or hear as the final word. In fact most of this world is invisible to us, and yet crucial for life and many medical treatments.

The only portion of the electromagnet spectrum that the human eye can detect is visible light, but we sure depend on the rest of those electromagnetic waves to get us through the day. Very long radio waves allow us not only to listen to the radio, but also watch TV, utilize the microwave, and call or text on our cell phones. And at the other end of the spectrum, short X-rays give us useful information about our health, and even shorter gamma rays make possible specialized radiation treatment for brain tumors.

And much of the world is inaudible, too. We all know the human ear only can hear a portion of sounds—those in the 2-20 kilohertz range. Dogs can hear much higher frequencies (up to 60KHz,) as can cats, who always pretend they can’t. But did you know most people can expect age-related hearing loss called “presbycusis?” That new vocabulary word explains why my seven-years-older-than-I-am-husband can’t ever seem to hear me.

And although Ralph’s hearing is not as acute as mine, he always has had a superior sense of smell. But his keen nose is nothing compared to a dog’s super-smelling abilities—about 300 million nasal sensors, six times more than a human. Canines already are used by law enforcement agencies to search for bombs and illegal drugs, but medical researchers are studying whether man’s best friend can “sniff” out cancer, too.

A 2016 CNN report described a dog named Lucy, who was kicked out of guide dog school because she was too distracted by odors. So her owners decided to take advantage of her sniffing prowess and train her to find malignancies instead. Apparently she can detect cancer’s unique odors and was reported to correctly sniff out cancer 95-percent of the time over a seven-year period. Clinical trials are continuing. 

Other dogs have been described to accurately identify melanoma by sniffing moles and prostate cancer by taking a whiff of urine. (We already have CAT scans, why not DOG sniffs?)

Researchers also are checking to see if the volatile organic compounds found in our breath can be used to detect breast and lung cancer at early stages. Imagine taking a breathalyzer notto see if you’re too impaired to drive, but to find out if you have a malignant tumor.

And if you really want to blow your mind about the invisibility of our world, check out all the scientists who say what we can see is only a fraction of the whole universe.

I’ve read differing percentages, but most say the stars, planets and galaxies that can be seen make up only 2- to 4-percent of the universe. The remaining 96- to 98- percent can’t be seen, detected or even comprehended by astronomers!

I would never be confused with a quantum physicist, but I have known for decades that what is visible in this world is notthe sum of reality. I believe Plato knew it centuries ago when he asserted “the visible is a shadow cast by the invisible.” And the Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. echoed the Greek philosopher’s view in the 20thcentury when he wrote: “Everything we see is a shadow cast by that which we do not see.”

Romans 1:20 “For ever since the world was created, people have seen the earth and sky.
Through everything God made, they can clearly see his invisible qualities
—his eternal power and divine nature. So they have no excuse for not knowing God.”

This world is a shadow of the eternal power and divine nature of God. No matter how this world actually evolved, it started with a Creator and it will end one day with Him, too.

Don’t fix your eyes on what is seen. Don’t fix them on pathology reports or CT scans or blood work or insurance bills or statistics or anything else you can see. No matter what this life brings, fix your eyes on what is unseen. Then you will find peace…whatever you face.

Adapted from Peace in the Face of Cancer, copyright 2017 by Lynn Eib.

If the music video below doesn’t automatically load, click here https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nO4uIyz_d90

 

 

Jan 17

Isn’t There a Faster Way to Wait?

“Why does it take so long to get back my blood work?”

“I have to hang on the whole weekend for the test results?”

“What do you mean the doctor can’t see me until next week?”

“This waiting is killing me!”

Ever moaned any of these phrases? I sure have. I once made the mistake of scheduling a barium enema test on a Friday. I thought I would have ulcers by the time I finally got the results on Monday. I jumped every time the phone rang and worried every time it didn’t. black-and-white-woman-girl-sitting.jpg

The first few years after I finished chemo, I used to call and talk to the nurses prior to each of my follow-ups so I could get my tumor marker results before I went in for my appointment. I just couldn’t stand to wait.

When I have to wait, my mind begins to wander, the bad little voice of fear starts to pipe up, and I usually begin to think the worst.

A few months after I finished my chemo, I had a CT scan for some terrible abdominal pain I was experiencing. The technician asked me to wait twice while she conferred with another medical person and came back and took more pictures. Each time she came back in the little room and looked at me I became more and more convinced she looked sadder. I should have realized she probably felt sorry for me in my pitiful little blue paper gown, but instead I surmised I must be going to get terrible news.

Finally when she came back in for the third time—even though I knew she wasn’t allowed to say anything about the scan—I blurted out: “Please tell me what’s wrong. I know it must be really bad. Just tell me, I can’t stand this waiting anymore!”

She looked rather puzzled and reassured me that the only thing wrong was that the pictures were not quite clear enough so she had to take another set. I felt better for a moment and then decided she probably was paid to say that to everyone.

I went home and waited for the call from my family physician. When it came, my fear that a new tumor was obstructing my bowel was quickly put to rest. Instead I was told that I needed to take a laxative!

I am convinced that those of us who are planners, who like to be prepared and who relish being in control, make the worst “wait-ers” on the face of the earth. Waiting prevents us from planning, impedes us from being fully prepared, and thwarts our attempt to be absolutely in control of the present as well as the future.

Waiting is a common theme throughout the Bible—after God miraculously freed the Israelites from slavery in Egypt, they waited in the desert for forty years before He allowed them to enter the Promised Land. Jacob waited fourteen years to marry his beloved Rachel after he was tricked into virtual slave labor by his future father-in-law. The disciples of Jesus waited three very long, agonizing days for Him to rise from the dead.

Often when we wait we become discouraged and are tempted to give up. The Israelites whined and moaned during most of their forty years of waiting. Jacob was furious when he discovered that his father-in-law had tricked him into marrying Rachel’s older sister and he would have to work another seven years to marry Rachel. Following Jesus’ crucifixion, the disciples gave up right away and were already back fishing before His resurrection.

When you’re waiting, I have some advice for you. It’s the same advice I tell myself when things are taking too long. Don’t give up. Give in . . . to God.

Go ahead and put yourself at His mercy. That’s where you already are anyway. You might as well as admit it, because when you do then you can start to experience the transforming power that waiting can have on our character.

Don’t get confused. It’s not that the waiting itself changes us—otherwise we all would be pretty wonderful people. After all, everybody has to wait sometimes! But it’s how we respond to the waiting that can be transforming.

I love how author-pastor Rick Warren explains in The Purpose-Driven Life that godly characteristics—things like love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness, and self-control— are developed in our lives when we are put in situations in which we are tempted to respond exactly the opposite way.

Patience “is developed in circumstances in which we’re forced to wait and are tempted to be angry or have a short fuse,” Warren writes.

I put this principle into practice one day while I braked for yet another red light on my hurried lunch-hour errand trip. I looked straight at the light, smiled, and said out loud to myself: “I am not waiting for a traffic signal. I am being conformed into the image of Jesus!”

The declaration made me laugh out loud. But I’ll tell you; it was a wonderfully freeing moment. I didn’t squirm waiting for the light to change. I wasn’t frustrated that I wasn’t making good time. I just sat there and enjoyed the presence of God, which supernaturally settled over me.

Try it yourself.

I am not waiting for test results. I am learning to depend more on God.

I am not waiting for a doctor to call me back. I am learning to be patient as God is patient with me.

I am not waiting in cancer’s shadow; I am becoming more like Jesus.

There is no faster way to wait, but there is a better way.