Category: strength

Sep 30

Still Learning to Love (and Live) Like Carolyn

Last month when Carolyn Dunn, my dear friend of 40+ years had a biopsy to diagnosis the “spots” on her liver and pancreas, we prayed it would be “just” lymphoma.

It was not.

Instead, she and husband David, a retired pastor, received what most would consider a devastating diagnosis–Stage 4 pancreatic cancer.

“I was stunned,” Carolyn said when she called with the CT scan news, which first revealed the lesions.

The couple, married 62 years, had been spending the summer at their remote, lakeside Maine cabin, affectionately named Dunn Inn. Their family took turns visiting and enjoying swimming, fishing, boating, lobster-eating and celebrating Carolyn’s 81st birthday.

In the spring, Carolyn had had stomach issues which seemed to resolve with medication, but in July the pain returned, along with a fever. After Maine ER docs and blood tests couldn’t find an answer, the Dunns headed back early to PA for more tests. That proved to be a wise decision as a CT scan revealed a pulmonary embolism (blood clot in the lung) and Carolyn was immediately admitted to the hospital.

After long conversations with her oncologist–a compassionate Christian man–Carolyn decided not to take chemo, but instead receive palliative (comfort) care.

I still am weeping.

I have considered Carolyn my mentor since David was on the committee which chose my husband in 1983 to pastor the new church plant in Spring Grove, PA. Ten years older than me, with three daughters–including a Bethany in the middle–Carolyn was the perfect wise woman from whom I could learn.

And learn I have.

I’ve watched her deal with the shock of teenage pregnancy, the pain of divorce, the estrangement of family, and the betrayals of ministry. And in each trial, she showed me how it looks to love unconditionally. To pray impossible prayers. To wait patiently on the Lord. To be the hands and feet of Jesus.

And in the good times (especially women’s retreats), I watched as she taught me to laugh at embarrassing moments–like when you’re fishing at your cabin and your husband bends over to tie up the boat, but you accidentally snag his underwear with your fishing hook, and then you’re laughing so hard you can’t get the hook out!

Now with this health news, I am watching my wise friend teach me to face my own mortality.

“I know my life is coming to an end, but I choose to focus on the goodness of God,” Carolyn said. “I want my life to bring glory to God–I want it to be a showcase for His glory!”

I am not surprised that Carolyn is facing death the same way she has faced life. What an incredible, eternal inheritance she is leaving her three daughters and their families, including seven granddaughters and six great-grandchildren (and yes, she finally got some boys!)

Casting Crowns’ lead singer Mark Hall has a beautiful song (video below) which says: “I don’t want to leave a legacy and I don’t care if they remember me–only Jesus.”

And then Hall’s song poses two great questions: “Did I live the truth to the ones I love?” and “Was my life the proof that there was only One whose name will last forever?”

Carolyn, just in case you ever wonder, I’d like to answer those questions for you.

YES, you lived the truth to the ones you love.

And YES, your life has been proof that there is only One whose name will last forever.

 I am one of the thousands who will remember you because of your legacy of loving and living like Jesus. From the bottom of my heart, thank you, dear friend.
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Please open in your browser to hear “Only Jesus” ©2018 Provident Label Group LLC, a division of Sony Music Entertainment

Sep 09

When Eagles Get Too Wet

If you’re wondering how I’m feeling after my August mini-sabbatical set aside for renewal and refreshment, I can describe it in two words:

Wet eagle.

No, not wet beagle…wet eagle. And I don’t mean a damp eagle, I mean a really soaking wet eagle.

Confused? Let me explain.

Four days before our scheduled family vacation the first week of August, my husband developed back pain so severe he couldn’t even stand straight. His chiropractor–after twice attempting adjustments–sent him to orthopedic urgent care. X-rays were negative and the diagnosis was sciatica with an Rx for six days of tapering prednisone.

Back at  home I parked my usually very helpful husband into a La-Z-Boy recliner and began caring for him while I finished all the packing for our week-long trip to a lakeside cabin coincidentally named “Eagles’ Landing.” Unfortunately, all that extra walking, leaning and carrying exacerbated my two medical issues: a plantar plate tear on the bottom of my foot, and the post-herpetic neuralgia in my back (think burning shingles pain which doesn’t go away).

I’ll spare you the play-by-play of our health saga, but more than a month later, we now know Ralph has a herniated L4 disc. Thankfully, he can stand up straight, but still has a long way to heal.

Meanwhile, my pain persists, which brings me back to wet eagles.

Did you know that an eagle’s estimated 7,000 feathers are not fully waterproof?  If they get saturated with too much moisture, these majestic birds actually get waterlogged and become aerodynamically unable to fly.

And if this occurs when they’re on the water–perhaps fishing for prey which fights and pulls them under–the eagle doesn’t have the lift necessary to take off. So it must start swimming toward land as evidenced in the link to this amazing 9-second video IMG_3615 taken recently by our friend Chris Gaffga as he kayaked on the Potomac River beside a too-wet-eagle.

After climbing ashore, Chris’s eagle spread its feathers and waited on the rocks for the sun to dry them before attempting to fly again.

That leads us to an important truth. While bald eagles normally soar up to 10,000 feet and golden eagles up to twice that high…

Sometimes even eagles can’t soar. 

I wanted to “soar” last month, but it didn’t happen. And I know many of you can relate. You or your loved one is dealing with a chronic condition. Or facing a serious diagnosis. Or reeling from life-altering circumstances. Perhaps you’ve felt water-logged for months, years or even decades.

Physically, some of us or our loved ones aren’t going to “soar” again here on Earth, but I believe spiritually we all can be lifted above the turmoil.


He gives power to the weak
    and strength to the powerless.
Even youths will become weak and tired,
    and young men will fall in exhaustion.
But those who trust in the Lord will find new strength.
    They will soar high on wings like eagles.
They will run and not grow weary.
    They will walk and not faint.--Isaiah 40:29-31

Image by rise-a-mui from Pixabay

Even if the physical deliverance doesn’t come in the way we prayed, God can give us emotional strength and spiritual power to not grow weary or faint. Who knows? He might send an eagle or maybe a  whole flock of them to carry us.

In the meantime, keep swimming, keep flapping, and keep trusting in the LORD. I’m right there with you…while I wait for the Son to someday dry my feathers.
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Open in your browser to hear “Lead Me to to the Rock” by Carly Fletcher.

 

 

Jul 29

“Just to Get through This!”

When Layne Lebo recently was diagnosed with cancer, his plan was “just to get through this.”

But he quickly realized God had a much bigger–and  better–plan in mind.

The journey actually started routinely enough.

“I was combing my hair and discovered a lump on my arm,” recalls Layne, then 58, and the lead pastor at a large church in Mechanicsburg, PA.

He felt fine and had been exercising quite a bit, so Layne didn’t really think it was anything of concern. At his next primary care physician check-up he casually mentioned the lump.  The doctor wasn’t particularly concerned either, but recommended an MRI just to be sure.

The ensuing biopsy results were delivered Feb. 6.

“The good news was I didn’t need surgery to have the cyst removed, but the bad news was I had non-Hodgkin lymphoma,” Layne explains.

The normally optimistic guy was reeling, but had to go home and share the report with Greta, his wife of 32 years. Together they “processed” the life-threatening diagnosis, including how best to share it with their three kids, ages 21, 25, and 27.

That same day Greta promptly wrote a list of six commitments she hoped the family would embrace:

Armed with that simple plan, Layne began chemo in April with his family–near and far–cheering him on.

Around that time, one of the pastors on staff at his church sent a text saying that as she prayed for him, she “strongly sensed” God would use this cancer journey to give him “more compassion for the suffering of others.”

“I think I’m a pretty nice guy,” says Layne, “but I find it challenging to relate and show compassion to others (facing) things I haven’t experienced.

“My life has been pretty easy…I probably have ‘compassion deficit’,” he adds with a smile.

But it wasn’t long before Layne began to see God softening his heart toward others.

Layne before chemo

He started reaching out to patient families at the cancer center and trying to encourage them by gifting a copy of 50 Days of Hope. (Layne admits that when he first was given that book, he didn’t plan to read it because he often finds “devotionals to be cheesy and shallow.” But eventually he did open it up and instead found God inspiring him through the pages.)

He also shared the book with his oncologist, a Christ-follower, who now has multiple copies in his waiting room for patients to read or take home.

Layne is especially excited to share his journey and help others find hope. He sends out personal updates, not only to his congregation, but to pastors in a large network of area churches he leads, as well as the school board on which he serves.

“I’m understanding scripture in a new way and feel like God is giving me insights for myself and for others,” he explains.

“God told me ‘I want you to look for armies of people who don’t know Christ’,” he adds.

Layne finished chemo a couple of months ago and radiation therapy last week, but won’t know for certain until next month’s PET scan whether the cancer is completely in remission.

Still “whatever happens my life is in God’s hands,” he declares. “I choose to place my trust in God whether I’m experiencing the sunshine of life or encountering storms.”

Sounds like Layne’s “compassion deficit” is no more.
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Open in your browser to hear one of Layne’s favorite songs: “Firm Foundation (He Won’t)”  with Maranatha Music.

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Jul 01

“I thought I was invincible!”

Terry Musser thought he had it all…until he lost his health and discovered all he had been missing.

“I thought I was invincible,”  the 70-year-old associate real estate broker told me as we recently chatted. “I had commercials on TV and for years was one of the top Realtors in the Tri-County area. I felt like I had everything.”

But when February 2024 rolled around, Terry didn’t feel quite so invincible.

Severe episodes of vomiting led Terry to drive himself to the ER (still feeling slightly invincible!) Doctors determined he was “spewing bile” so they inserted a nasogastric tube and placed two stents in his bile duct. At first, tests did not detect malignancy, but eventually a diagnosis was made: pancreatic cancer spread into nearby lymph nodes.

“They kept saying ‘you have cancer’ and I kept saying ‘no, I don’t’,” Terry recalled. “It was really hard to believe.”

Despite the fact Terry and I live only about 10 miles apart and were attending the same (large) church, we didn’t know one another when he was diagnosed. But then a copy of Peace in the Face of Cancer came in the mail from a stranger in Texas who his sister “happened” to meet. And then a copy of When GOD & Cancer Meet was gifted from a local friend.

Terry’s girlfriend Deb knew of me from our church, so we met and prayed together in the foyer one Sunday.  Shortly after that, Terry had an 8.5-hour Whipple procedure, which removed the head of the pancreas, duodenum, gallbladder and part of the bile duct. (Only about 20-percent of pancreatic cancer patients are candidates for this surgery.)

Terry and I had some heart-to-heart talks and he decided to have the recommended chemo, designed to increase the slim possibility of a cure.

Before his diagnosis, Deb had been trying to get Terry more involved in the church, but he wasn’t interested.

“She was kind of a pain in the butt,” Terry said with a smile. “Even though I was going to church I was minding my own business and just wanted to sit in the back and rush out to an open house at 1 o’clock,” he explained.

No photo description available.

“Team Musser”: Terry & his his real estate agent daughters

“But I kind of feel like the cancer was a gift–of lifestyle change, mind change and heart change,” Terry explained. “I always thought I didn’t need all that, but I was full of myself. 

“I was into yoga and Eastern religions, and I was always searching, searching, searching for something,” he added. “I was a ‘party man,’ but I haven’t had a drink in a year-and-a-half and I don’t miss it.”

Terry’s cancer/faith journey led him to slowing down his “exhausting” lifestyle. He still works when able, but lets his two daughters handle most of his busy agency, which employs another nine agents. He spends time enjoying caring for plants, scenic train rides, playing pickleball, reading inspirational books, attending a weekly men’s Bible study, and memorizing his favorite scripture,  Psalm 23.

“I found real faith and I feel less anxiety now with cancer than I did before without cancer.”

Recently Terry got the discouraging news that cancerous cells have shown up in fluid removed from his abdomen and he has restarted chemo.

“I thought I was put on this earth to help people with the big (real estate) decisions, but now I feel like I’m being kept alive to just help people,” he said. “I have a higher purpose than real estate.”

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Open in your browser to hear the music video “Still Water (Psalm 23) ” by Leanne Crawford, Aspire Christian Music–less than 4 minutes long!

Jun 17

Easy or hard: Which would you choose?

1st grade

3rd grade

It was early fall 1960 and my family recently had moved from Ohio to California.  I loved first-grade in the Buckeye State, but second grade apparently was “boring” in the Golden State where reading and math textbooks were the same ones I already completed.

My mother said I usually walked home from school, didn’t want to talk about anything, and then threw up. I would have suspected the cafeteria food or my tight perm, but  my parents, my teacher, and the principal got together and decided on a course of action.

After work that Friday, Dad sat on the edge of my bed with me. I don’t remember how the conversation started, but I definitely recall how it ended.

“So do you want to stay in second grade and have EASY work? Or go to third grade and have HARD work?”

With just-turned-seven-year-old exuberance, I replied: “I want to go to third grade and have HARD work, Daddy!”

On Monday morning, I took my crayon box out of my desk and marched down the hall to Miss Milford’s class, where I happily found “hard” work and stopped puking.

Pretty sure that was the last time in my life I voluntarily chose hard instead of easy.

Remember those Staples’ “easy” buttons from about 20 years ago? Personally, I would like the phrase “That was easy!” to describe my everyday life! I’m always on the lookout for ways to make life easier–for myself or people I care about. As I pray for the hurting people I know (and myself!), I always hope the answer/healing/resolution comes quickly.

But more often than not, it seems those prayers do not afford me a chance to respond with an “easy” button. Not only does life often not get any easier, sometimes it gets a whole lot harder–with no relief or explanation in sight.

I realize that many of you know exactly what I mean because  I’ve sat with you while you heard bad news. I’ve prayed with you when your world turned upside down. And I’ve cried with you as the worst actually happened.

You and I both know that life has not always been easy for you and your loved ones.

The word “easy” only appears in the Bible nine times–at least in the New Living Translation. Proverbs has a verse about lizards being “easy” to catch and the OldTestament prophet Ezekiel warns that scattered sheep make an “easy” target for predators.

But my favorite “easy” verse is found in Matthew 11:

“Then Jesus said, ‘Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens,
and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you. Let me teach you,
because I am humble and gentle at heart, and you will find rest for your souls.
 For my yoke is easy to bear, and the burden I give you is light.’”

I need to forget about the “easy” button and hoping to make life easy-peasy. Scripture never promises that God won’t give us more than we can handle, but Billy Graham preached and I believe:Billy Graham

“The will of God will not take us where the grace of God cannot sustain us.”

― Billy Graham

A yoke is not designed for one animal and neither were you designed to bear your burdens alone. Let Jesus carry them with you, resting in the sure knowledge that He will not take you where He cannot keep you.
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Open in your browser to hear “Rest for Your Soul” by Austin French.