Category: strength

Apr 05

A Behind-the-Scenes Look at My Not-So-Peaceful Life

 

 

 

 

 

My new book Peace in the Face of Cancer officially released yesterday and I thought I’d share a little behind-the-scenes look at my life—just in case you have any misconception I have it all together!

Last week I had three online podcast interviews.  The first two were on Skype, which I didn’t even know existed the last time I had a book published. As grateful as I am for the opportunities to talk about the book, I’ve concluded I do not like Skype interviews.  Why? Because people can see me!

I have to be dressed in something besides a baggy sweatshirt (although I did leave on sweat pants). I have to do something with my hair and my make-up and I can’t have a bunch of “cheat” sheets helping me answer questions about what I wrote in my book more than a year ago and don’t really remember anymore!

But by the time I got to the second Skype interview, I knew the drill. I moved my big black chair out of my office because I looked too businesslike seated in it. I shoved all my tax papers on the card table behind me out of the camera view. I fixed the lighting and the blinds just right. I spent about 35-40 minutes making sure both the room and I looked presentable before I made the evening call to the show’s producer.

“Uh, could you turn off your video,” was the first thing she said to me.  “It’s only an audio interview.”

Sure, no problem–at least I’ll look good for my husband when we sit in our La-Z-Boys afterward!

I verified the third interview definitely included video and even “practiced” a call with that producer the day before. However, when it came time for the real thing, she said I looked really “grainy” and laughingly admonished her viewers not to complain about the poor quality from my VERY OLD lap top!  (For the records, the graininess helps hide wrinkles.)

 

Anyway, those were the best part of my week. The worst part was that my entire normal “support team” was either knocked out of commission or otherwise occupied:

  • My youngest daughter’s 2-year-old had the flu, her 6-month-old had a double ear infection and her husband and 4-year-old were recovering from the flu.
  • My middle daughter was tending to her 2- and 4-year-olds, both with the flu, following her own (and her 6-year-old’s) bouts with it.
  • One of my oldest daughter’s best friends was struck by a car while jogging and in trauma care fighting for her life (still is!).
  • My prayer partner of many years was recovering from the flu and couldn’t get off the couch or even talk on the phone without hacking away.
  • My closest friend from church was on vacation in another country.
  • My other good church friend was supposed to be home from vacation but totaled her car.
  • While working on my 2016 taxes—much too late this year—I discovered a clerical error made with our tax bills resulting in several thousand dollars of unpaid taxes, penalty fees galore, and a possible lien being put on our home
  • And did I mention that my poor, weary husband still had trouble with his three-month-old knee replacement and could not walk or drive more than short distances without a great deal of pain?

 

Guess who wasn’t feeling much peace? That’s right, the one who’s read every single verse about peace in several different Bible translations and wrote a whole book about how to seek and find peace. As I stressed over deadlines for taxes, FB book launch posts, blogs, magazine articles, speaking engagement preparations, and concern for so many loved ones dealing with such difficult circumstances, peace vanished.

I tried to put into practice what I “preached” in my book and I made efforts to be “good” to myself. I got a massage. I went for walks.  I sat in my hot tub. I ate big bowls of popcorn. I drank a root beer float with the popcorn. But I still wasn’t feeling it.

I prayed. I read my Bible. I listed to Jordan Smith sing “Great is Thy Faithfulness” on my iPhone. But even The Voice Season 9 winner couldn’t deliver my elusive peace.

So I texted my friend Gigi who lives out West, told her I was really stressed and asked her to call me that weekend. We’ve been friends for nearly 39 years and she always can make me laugh.

Within moments my phone beeped (while I was on it talking to the tax debt collector!). I called Gigi back as soon as I finished with the Tax-Man.

“You must be really desperate to want me to call,” she said with a laugh.

“I am!” I responded as the tears welled up.

And then I dumped it all on my dear friend. Everything I wrote about here with much more detail and many more tears. I just unloaded it all into her ears.

 

I’m not going to share exactly how she responded, other than to tell you that she calmly and prayerfully led me into the presence of Jesus so that I could feel His love for me and He could take the burdens I was never meant to carry.

In those few moments absolutely nothing changed in my circumstances and yet everything changed inside me. I trusted that God could do the impossible… and I found peace.

It happened because I put into practice something else I wrote in the new book:  “it will take trust on our part because there are amazing things that only God can do for us and in us.”

So go ahead and come to the end of yourself. When you do, He’ll supernaturally be there with His peace that doesn’t even make sense. He has done it for me time and again and He can and will do it for you, my friend.  And if you need help with your peace-seeking, do as I did, and call a trusted friend with listening ears and a warm Jesus-filled heart. You’ll be glad you did.

 

You will keep in perfect peace all who trust in you,

                All whose thoughts are fixed on you!  Isaiah 26:3 NLT

P.S.  Gigi did eventually make me laugh when she later texted: “I’ll trade you a guy who walks and drives and talks to himself aloud (and a lot) for a quiet guy who doesn’t drive or walk.” (I told you we were really good friends and yes,  I’m still considering the offer. 🙂

(If the music video below doesn’t automatically load, please copy and paste this link to enjoy https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ttEgZLg-2-Y

 

 

Mar 29

Nothing Surprises God

 

 

 

 

 

I don’t think most people are truly prepared to get bad health news. Instead we hope against hope that things will not turn out as we fear and the whole nightmare will go away. Right up until I saw the look on my gastroenterologist’s face after my colonoscopy in June 1990, I had hoped—and believed—there was nothing wrong with me. So much for the power of positive thinking!

I don’t know if your or your loved one’s diagnosis has taken you by surprise, but I guarantee it has not taken God by surprise.

 

He is all-knowing.

He is all-seeing.

He is all-powerful.

He is in control of ­every­thing.

He knows what you need and when you need it.

You may feel unprepared, but God is prepared and He is preparing things for you—good things—things that you can’t even imagine.

No eye has seen, no ear has heard, and no mind has imagined what God has prepared for those who love him. 1 Corinthians 2:9

And I believe He literally goes before all of His followers into each new day to provide what we’ll need for that day. Hear His promise through Moses’ words in Deuteronomy 31:8 (as expressed in three different Bible versions):

“The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.” NIV

God is striding ahead of you. He’s right there with you. He won’t let you down; he won’t leave you. Don’t be intimidated. Don’t worry. The Message

“Do not be afraid or discouraged, for the Lord will personally go ahead of you. He will be with you; he will neither fail you nor abandon you.” NLT

Authors Henry and Richard Blackaby explain God’s promise this way:

“God never sends you into a situation alone. He always goes before His children as He did with the children of Israel when He led them with a cloud by day and a pillar of fire by night. . . . He always precedes you in any situation you encounter. God is never caught by surprise by your experience; He has already been there. He is prepared to meet your every need because He has gone before you and knows exactly what you will need for your pilgrimage.”[i]

And the really good news is that He doesn’t just go on ahead of us, He stays with us, too, ensuring we are never alone.

“Not only does God go before you, but He also stands beside you and behind you, to provide protection and comfort,” the Blackabys add. “If you are going through a difficult or confusing time, know that the Lord has gone before you and He is present with you. He is fully aware of what you are facing, and He is actively responding to your need.”[ii]

God knows exactly what you need to be prepared for today.

It’s okay if you feel disbelief or shock or unprepared for whatever’s next. Perhaps you would like to pray with the Psalmist today from Psalm 25:5:

Lead me by Your truth and teach me, for You are the God who saves me. All day long I put my hope in You. Amen.

 

[i] Henry T. Blackaby and Richard Blackaby, Experiencing God Day by Day: Devotional (Nashville: B&H Publishing, 1998),  94. The story of the Israelites being led by God with a cloud and a fire pillar is found in Exodus 13:21.

[ii] Ibid.

If the music video below doesn’t automatically load, please copy and paste this link to enjoy: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=by6no4QTU_g

Mar 01

How to Encourage the Discouraged

 

 

 

 

I remember so well the first cancer support group meeting I attended at our community  hospital. It was the summer of 1990. I was a reporter for a local newspaper and recently had interviewed Mary, the new group’s facilitator. When I showed up at a support group meeting just eight weeks after my story ran, Mary naturally assumed I was visiting the group as a follow-up to my published article.

“How sweet that you would come to our meeting,” she said with a big smile.

“Actually, I was diagnosed with colon cancer last month,” I told her as her jaw dropped.

It was an incredible irony. I had to talk myself into attending that meeting because I wasn’t sure I really wanted to be with a bunch of people with cancer. As introductions were made around the table, I happened to be the most newly diagnosed and the last to introduce myself.

I burst into tears before I could even get out my name.

I felt really silly for falling apart like that, but I had been trying to hold it together in front of everyone else for so long that it seemed good to let down my feelings with others who had “been there, done that.”

 

After my friend Ken was diagnosed with tongue cancer in 2002, he believed for a while that he wouldn’t need things like support groups.

“I assumed that because of my (spiritual) faith I wouldn’t need other forms of support such as groups, family counseling and massage therapy, but I was dead wrong,” Ken explains.

Many years later and still cancer-free, Ken urges newly diagnosed patients not to try and go it alone.

“Circle the wagons—family, friends, co-workers and anyone else who can and will be an available asset in your battle,” he says. “You can never have too many assets!”

 

Before I retired as a patient advocate, I always  was inviting cancer patients and their caregivers to my support group meetings* (see note at end) and I heard a lot of reasons why they didn’t attend. Often people told me “I’m not really that depressed that I need to come.”

To which I replied, “I need people there who aren’t depressed to support those who are!”

I believe there are two reasons for people to attend support groups for whatever problem they face—either to be encouraged or to be an encourager. And I’m pretty sure you could fit into one of those categories!

What life difficulty are you facing or has God already brought you through? Divorce? Addiction? Weight issues? Prison? Special needs child? Relatives with dementia? Abuse? Loss of a job? Infertility? Grief?

The list of life’s trials is endless…and so is the grace of God to see us through.

“God is our merciful Father and the source of all comfort. He comforts us in all our troubles so that we can comfort others. When they are troubled, we will be able to give them the same comfort God has given us.” 2 Corinthians 1:3-4

Don’t waste the pain you’ve encountered by failing to share your experiences with others. The troubles you’ve faced with God’s strength will be a comfort to those facing the same kinds of circumstances.

When the Apostle Paul was down and out, God sent his friend Titus at just the right time to him.

“When we arrived in Macedonia, there was no rest for us. We faced conflict from every direction, with battles on the outside and fear on the inside. But God, who encourages those who are discouraged, encouraged us by the arrival of Titus. His presence was a joy.” 2 Corinthians 7:5, 6

God knows exactly what you need to deal with today’s discouragement. Ask Him to bring a “Titus” (or two) into your life to encourage you. (He might even direct you to a support group with a bunch of Tituses!). Or ask how you can be the Titus-encourager someone else needs to meet.

 I pray that we each see one another through the eyes of God–the God who encourages those who are discouraged. Yes, Lord, “give me your eyes for just one second.”

If today’s music video doesn’t automatically load, please copy and paste this link to enjoy https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7mhpLjPslbM

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7mhpLjPslbM

*** If you are seeking a faith-based cancer support group, I’m compiling a state-by-state list on my website www.lynneib.com .  Or if you are thinking about starting one of your one in your area, there are free helps available there to do just that.***

Feb 08

Wanna see my first selfie?

 

 

 

 

True confession: I am 63 years old and this is my FIRST SELFIE. When I took it two nights ago and sent it to my three daughters, one responded that she wished more people my age had never taken a selfie. Hmmmmm……..not sure exactly how to take that.first copy

Nevertheless, here it is–didn’t comb my hair first, freshen my makeup, put on an lipstick or change my sweatshirt . Obviously didn’t know how to make sure there wasn’t a reflection on the cover. Nope, no preparation whatsoever. I just held it up, grinned and took the photo because I was SO excited to show the FIRST copy of my new book to my girls. (I am pretty proud that I actually knew how to turn the camera around to take the picture!)

However, the more I looked at the photo yesterday, the more I wanted to retake it, because it’s obviously blurry, my eyes look a little crossed and I really want some lipstick. It’s definitely not perfect, and I am a perfectionist. But if I retook it, then it wouldn’t be my FIRST selfie, would it? So I left it alone and I’m sharing it with you because you probably needed something to give you a little smile today.

 

I’ve noticed that the more books I write, the more I relax and the more of my personal–not just professional–self shows through. This is book number five, (not counting the inspirational commentary for the He Cares New Testament), so I’ve really chilled on this one.

I’ve gone ahead and let my quirky sense of humor show. For ages I’ve used it with cancer patients and their caregivers as a way to lift spirits during difficult times (#yesimayhavetakenafartmachinetothechemoroom), but that’s easier done in person than in a book. So I hope when you read this book, those meant-to-be-humorous  comments make you smile and not just wonder about my sanity.

I  also wanted the format of this book to be different from my other books, so I began each chapter with a quote from a famous person or character. You’ll hear encouragement  from Snoopy, Anakin Skywalker, Bob Dylan and Steve Martin to name a few. Don’t worry, I’ve also included some more traditional founts of wisdom like Mother Theresa, Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. and Corrie Ten Boom. Of course, as always, the main source of inspiration will be the very Word of God.

 

Because I’m a newspaper reporter turned author, when I write I like to start with facts and let them create feelings. I am not good at making things up. (How people write fiction is beyond me!) In my books I tell true cancer survivor stories and share true biblical hope. I like to think of myself as a passionate encourager who always is a truth-teller.

At the end of this book, I’ve added three bonus chapters for those facing cancer that is not considered medically curable. I know so many people in this situation of “chronic” cancer/cancer-for-the-long haul that I wanted to address some of their particular needs.

Each chapter in the book also ends with what I call a “Path to Peace”–a few words intended to pour truth into your mind and peace into your heart. My prayer for all who will read this book is that you’ll discover how to foster peace in your own home and life, as well as how to find God’s supernatural peace in your heart and mind–regardless of your or your loved one’s medical prognosis.

 

Peace in the Face of Cancer will be released next month and available in bookstores and online. I’ll be posting excerpts in the coming weeks and asking some of you to hep me launch its release.  Thanks for reading today and I hope you join me in thanking God for what He has amazingly done with a four-finger typist who never really wanted to write any books.

 

Because of God’s tender mercy, the morning light from Heaven is about to break upon us, to give light to those who sit in darkness and in the shadow of death, and to guide us to the path of peace. Luke 1:78-79 NLT

Shalom.

 

If the video below doesn’t automatically load, please copy and paste this link https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dbrNFxiHuYg

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dbrNFxiHuYg

 

 

Jan 11

Happy endings only, please!

 

 

 

 

 

If this hasn’t happened to you yet, I’m pretty sure it will.

Someone finds out you or your loved one has cancer–or some other serious diagnosis–and begins to tell you a story about a relative or friend of theirs who had a similar one. I’m sure it’s an attempt to try and identify with what you’re going through, but unfortunately as the story unfolds, it’s not what you really want to hear.

People used to come up and tell me gruesome stories about their neighbor who had the same kind of cancer I did and just “wasted away” or their grandmother who was “wracked with pain.” I hated hearing these stories, but at first I tried to be polite and listen.

Finally, I decided I could take it no longer and when people started a cancer story, I would interrupt them, smile, and say, “Does this story have a happy ending? Because if it ­doesn’t, I don’t want to hear it.”

That reply ­really stopped people in their tracks, and I ­didn’t have to listen to any more hopeless cancer stories.

You may want to adopt my approach as well. Many patients tell me they have and that surprisingly it worked quite well even though some folks’ mouths dropped open at the shock of being asked to stop talking midstream! Eventually, you may be fine to listen to any and all stories, but at first I think it’s best to stick with the happy endings.

All the patients in the office where I worked as a patient advocate for nearly two decades knew that when I started to tell them a story, they could relax because it was going to have a “happy ending.” Either the person got cured or went into remission or lived much longer than predicted. You also can trust that all my books are filled with endless hope and not hopeless endings. There are plenty of books with formulas which promise that if you do this or ­don’t do that, your prayers will be answered just the way you want them to be. I know such books exist because cancer patients and their families in our office often wanted to talk with me when such a prayer formula ­didn’t work for them.

The truth is that some people get cured of cancer–or other life-threatening illnesses–on this earth and some ­don’t. I join you in hoping and praying for your cure, but I want to remind you that no matter what does or doesn’t happen to your health, you do not have to be a victim.

I hate the term “cancer victim.” It somehow implies cancer is the victor. It wins; we lose. While we can do little to choose whether we get cancer (or most other serious diagnoses), I believe we can do a lot to choose whether we are its victims. I don’t just mean whether we live or die. I mean how the diagnosis affects us in the deepest parts of who we are.

I urge you today, whether you are the patient or the caregiver, not to choose to become a victim of cancer or any other illness/condition. Do not let this disease seem more powerful than it is. Do not let it fill your mind, steal your peace, invade your soul or destroy your hope. It has no power to do those things unless you allow it to.

As you take this unwanted journey, I believe you are going to discover two things:

You are a lot stronger than you think
and God is a lot greater than you think.

If you had told me prior to June 1990 that I was going to be diagnosed with cancer and have to endure major surgery and six months of weekly chemo, I would have said there’s no way I can face that. If you had a crystal ball and showed me the terrible side effects I would suffer because I was allergic to the main chemo drug and no other alternative existed at that time, I would have said: I can’t do it. If you told me I would have to live with the knowledge that if my cancer came back, there was no second chance at a cure and I would die very quickly, I would have told you there’s no way I can live like that.

But that’s because I didn’t have a true appreciation for how great God really is. Oh, I’d believed in Him and even served Him faithfully for many years, but until I suffered personally, I’d never experienced how powerful He really is. Now I’ve seen firsthand the amazing strength of the human spirit and the incomparable greatness of the Almighty God.

The Lord is good, a strong refuge when trouble comes. He is close to those who trust him. Nahum 1:7

If you ­don’t want to be defeated by this diagnosis—no matter what it does or has done to you or your loved one, you need a supernatural touch from God.

May I pray for you? Heavenly Father, this diagnosis feels very big right now. Please show Your power in my friend’s life and let him/her see that this disease/condition is very small and weak compared to Your amazing strength. Help him/her to choose not to be a victim. Amen

(If the music video doesn’t appear below, please copy and paste this link to enjoy https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cKLQ1td3MbE