Category: families

Jun 18

Good news (and some not-so-good): My oncologist has cancer Part 12

For those of us who know and care about Dr. Marc Hirsh, we can exhale once more.

His 9-month check up last week at Hershey Medical was good news again! Blood work and a CT scan confirmed that the very rare neuroendocrine tumor of thymine origin has not changed. The 5X3 cm mass still is in front of Marc’s heart and there are cardiac issues from the high-dose radiation, but four years after multiple doctors gave him only a few weeks to live, he is alive, well, and enjoying life.

“When I was diagnosed, I figured I could only have a few weeks left–I was very short of breath and a had a lot of symptoms,” he recalled. “This cancer is normally aggressive and the prognosis from all the experts was not good.

“But I no longer expect it has to come back, and now that it’s four years, I’m actually entertaining the possibility I may be cured.”

Meanwhile, Marc is thoroughly enjoying re-learning the classical piano music he played proficiently in elementary school and “finds music very spiritually uplifting.”

And now that he is retired, Marc has found more time to read in areas of interest such as theology, philosophy and science.

“Science is just learning about God’s creation,” he noted. “And I definitely have been feeling very good about life: relationships, family, opportunities to help people.”

Pink Out cancer patient fundraiser!

But even in the midst of good news, Marc and Elizabeth have experienced a new challenge, as she recently was diagnosed with Parkinson’s disease.

“It’s the first time in my life someone has told me that I have something that I can’t get over,” Elizabeth says. “That’s the hard part.”

Parkinson’s is a chronic disorder of the central nervous system that affects a person’s movements.

Not surprisingly, Elizabeth, my dear friend and prayer-partner for 30+ years is undaunted.

“I knew something was wrong for awhile, but all the tests eliminated everything else, so I was grateful it wasn’t more serious,” she said.

“It’s something I can live with,” she added, noting that she’s ” still functioning at a pretty high level and enjoying life” despite her non-dominant side being affected with weakness and tremors. Her regular self-care routine includes walking, swimming, stretching, good nutrition and small weights for strengthening.

And how has this chronic illness  affected Elizabeth’s faith?

“I like to be in touch with the Lord all the time, but especially during a trial of any kind, I always feel closer to Him,”  she says. “I realize He’s right there with me and it brings a smile and a peace.”

Elizabeth also adds that Marc–her husband of 44 years–“has been very good to me” assisting with activities that normally need two steady hands.

Marc’s perspective on the subject is this: “Maybe God’s keeping me alive to take care of Elizabeth.”

Whatever the reason, Marc, we rejoice in your healing, and in God’s faithfulness to you both.

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Open in your browser to hear the  inspiring song “Bound to Come Some Trouble” by Rich Mullins, Marc and Elizabeth’s favorite Christian artist. I think it perfectly sums up their faith, and I pray it encourages you today.

May 21

All Shall Be Well

Like most of us, Kevin Cross’s life has been full of unexpected twists and turns–many of them wonderful, at least one terrifying. And as soon as I heard his “full-circle” story, I knew I wanted to share it.

The Cross home on the Tred Avon River

His life dream started very young.

“When I was little, I used to play at being a priest,” Kevin, 72, recalls. “I gave my sisters Necco (candy) wafers for communion!”

In college Kevin continued his dream of becoming a Jesuit priest…until he attended a Catholic retreat and met a young blonde named Barbara.

The two quickly fell in love and “that kind of ended that career choice!” Kevin says with a laugh.

They married in 1974 and after earning a Master’s in psychiatric social work, he worked in counseling and human resources for the next three decades.

Then came another unexpected turn when he and Barbara attended a retreat in 2003.

“When we got there, I found out it was a 3-day silent retreat, which didn’t sound that great,” Kevin recalls. “But afterwards as soon as I got back in the car, I started hearing in my head  ‘I want you to be a priest’.”

He wrestled with such a momentous change, but finally decided to go to seminary and become an Episcopal priest.

“Father Cross” has been his calling  ever since.

Volunteer chaplain at the National Cathedral

For the past 14 years he’s been rector at Church of the Holy Trinity, Oxford, MD, on the Eastern shore of the Chesapeake Bay. (Known as “The Village Vicar” in this community of only 600.)

The most difficult path Kevin’s been forced to take began in 2019 when he insisted his family doctor do some cardiac screening because  he was 67 and “so many of my parishioners were having strokes and heart attacks.”

The coronary calcium scan which looks for plaque in the arteries scored him a perfect zero. But the x-ray images of his heart showed something else.

“You’ve got a spot on your right lung that looks suspicious,” the doctor reported and prescribed an antibiotic in hopes it was merely an infection.

But a few months later the answer came: “It’s grown and you need to have it out.”

Kevin’s right lower lobe lung was removed and the pathology identified melanoma, which meant it was stage 4. (The primary skin site never was found.)

“This whole thing was just a shocker,” Kevin acknowledges. “There were times when I was really frightened and petrified, but my faith is what really got me through–my faith, my family and my friends.”

He began a bi-weekly infusion of immunotherapy to boost his immune system, stopping six months shy of the recommended two years because of adverse kidney effects.

Especially comforting to Kevin have been the words of 14th century mystic Julian of Norwich, who withdrew into solitude for most of her life and wrote Revelations of Divine Love (the oldest surviving book in English by a woman). Her village was filled with poverty, famine and the bubonic plague, prompting suffering folks to come to her cell  for spiritual counsel. 

It was a vision in May 1373 when Julian said she heard Jesus speak the words for which she is most well-known:

“‘All shall be well’ became my mantra,” Kevin remembers. “I obviously wanted to be healed, but I knew if I wasn’t, all will be well.”

Scans every three months continue to show No Evidence of Disease for Kevin.

“It’s always on your mind that it could recur,” he explains. “I can forget about it for a while, but it helps me remember the finiteness of life and appreciate it more.”

Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows. But take heart, because I have overcome the world.
—John 16:33

Yes, in Him, all shall be well.
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For more on the life of Julian of Norwich https://julianofnorwich.org/pages/who-is-julian-of-norwich For more of her quotes https://quotefancy.com/julian-of-norwich-quotes

Open in your browser to hear this short, beautiful arrangement of “All Shall Be Well” by an unnamed guitarist (originally composed by folk-singer Sydney Bertram Carter, best known for “Lord of the Dance”. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S8c3-GMOs10 )

Apr 23

The Day I Shook the Hand of “The Greatest”

Would you believe I shook hands with and received a mini-apology from boxing legend Muhammad Ali, a.k.a “The Greatest”?

In 1970, when I was a college freshman, my best friend Jackie and I went to hear Ali speak at the Mansfield branch campus of THE Ohio State University. We were excited, so we arrived early and sat in the front row. The person introducing the former heavyweight boxing champion presented a framed, oil painting of the Champ.

Ali looked around to see where he could safely set down the very large piece and motioned for me to come forward. I jumped up and took the portrait from him as he loudly announced: “Thanks, I always wanted a white slave!”

I thought it was a hilarious comment, but after his speech, Ali sought me out, extended his right hand, and said, “You knew I was just kidding, right?” And then the hand that would punch the likes of Sonny Liston, George Foreman, and Joe Frazier warmly clasped mine.

True story.

In 1984 Ali announced he had Parkinson’s disease, and if you watched that incredible moment at the 1996 Atlanta Olympics when he shakily lit the torch, you could see what a painful turn the former Olympic gold medalist’s life had taken https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HxUSzcp4h5k

Before his death in 2016 Ali advised: “Don’t count the days; make the days count.”

My beautiful friend Georgia, https://georgiashaffer.com author, credentialed Christian life coach and survivor of four cancers–including stage 4 lung–shares a similar philosophy: “Life is a gift, so what am I going to do with it?…Live it purposefully and passionately, and make the time I do have count!”

Good thing Georgia didn’t “count” her days after the lung cancer diagnosis as she’s alive and healthy 11 years later!

If you or someone you love has received a life-threatening diagnosis–or like me, you are noticing more wrinkles in the mirror–you’re face-to-face with your own mortality.

And if a physician has told you that your days or your loved one’s days are numbered, I hope you are not trying to count them. Do not embrace those longevity guesses and allow them to become self-fulfilling prophecies. (I’ve lost count of the scores of cancer survivors I know who have outlasted medical predictions and weren’t “supposed to be here.”)

I hope you’ll ask yourself what you care deeply about and then allow that love to nurture your spirit and give you hope. If you have regrets, make amends where necessary and be thankful for the God of second chances. Seek out and enjoy the things that help you feel God’s peaceful presence.

The Bible says we ought to learn to “number” our days, but that doesn’t mean we should try to figure how many we have left. Instead, we should realize that every person—sick or well—has a limited supply. Illness and aging do us a favor when they remind us that however long we live on earth, it’s a blink compared to eternity.

Eternal One, let me understand my end
 and how brief my earthly existence is;
help me realize my life is fleeting.
—Psalm 39:4, The Voice Bible

Teach us to realize the brevity of life,
 so that we may grow in wisdom.
—Psalm 90:12 NLT

Nobody really knows how many rounds we have left in us, but as long as you have this day, there’s no reason to throw in the towel. Ask God how you can make this day count in your life, in the life of someone you love, and for eternity.

Partially excerpted from Peace in the Face of Cancer, Tyndale Momentum, ©2017 Lynn Eib.
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Please open in your browser to hear the video “God of All My Days” by Casting Crowns. 

Dec 26

Happy Endings!

I have a confession to make. I’ve never even admitted it in public before.

I enjoy romantic Hallmark movies.

Yes, I know they all have the same plot: A beautiful, successful city girl visits her small hometown, where she meets/gets reacquainted with a rugged, handsome guy, who has nothing better to do than help her every day until they fall madly in love and drive off in his pickup.

I simply love happy endings.

In fact, I really don’t like to watch any movie that doesn’t have one. I guess it’s because I see so much sorrow and sickness in real life.

So, may I share a personal story with a very happy ending?

I have gone on only one blind date in my life: April 6, 1973. I was 19 and finishing up my junior year of college. My friend Janet and her husband Tom set up a next-day double date for me with the assistant manager of the Christian bookstore that Tom ran. I already had plans to play table tennis with a guy who was perfecting my forehand slam, but I broke that date (another first).

We saw the movie Doctor Zhivago and had sundaes at Friendly Ice Cream afterward. I remember I ordered a junior hot fudge because I didn’t want my date to think I was a big eater.

Apparently, my small appetite impressed him because on June 4, after two whole months of dating, Ralph proposed. I immediately said yes–basically the first and last impulsive thing I’ve ever done in my 70 years.

We married Dec. 29, 1973, which makes this Friday our 50th anniversary.

We’ve had our share of struggles–trying to make ends meet while paying my tuition and Ralph’s seminary loans, as well as hospital bills from his late wife’s battle with ALS.  The ending of our first pregnancy with a Mother’s Day miscarriage in ’77. The diagnosis of my colon cancer in 1990  with a 40-percent chance to survive.

Ralph has endured replacing two shoulders and three knees (not a typo– one got infected and had to be redone after I gave him six weeks of daily IV antibiotics). Most recently I developed a small bowel obstruction, which could have taken my life, but thankfully was successfully resected.

We’ve weathered the ups and downs of more than three decades of pastoral ministry and spent years caring for aging relatives who had neither the strength nor the finances to care for themselves.

I married Ralph because I believed that together we could serve God better…and by His grace I think that has happened.

It’s incredible what one blind date has led to: three daughters, three granddaughters, four grandsons, two sons-in-law, and half-a-century of getting to know and love God more, while trying to help others do the same.

And that’s my happy-ending story.

Of course, we don’t know how it eventually ends here on earth, but praise God, we do know that an unending happily-ever-after awaits us in Heaven.

Please rejoice with our love story as you listen to this love song, which I’m dedicating to my husband…and to my Savior.

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Dec 12

How to Hear God’s Voice

Ralph and I were married Dec. 29, 1973, so our first husband-and-wife Christmas was ’74. I was an unemployed, recent college grad and he was making $5,000 as assistant manager of a Christian bookstore.

We were living in a family’s basement, but wanted to have our own tree, so Ralph went searching. There weren’t many left, but he found a tree lot with a few. The smallest, cheapest one was $4.

“I only have $3,” my forlorn-looking husband told the tree-seller as he held up three crumpled bills..

The gentleman thought for a moment, then agreed to the bargain price.

We decorated it with a single strand of lights, popcorn and cranberry garlands, a few ornaments my folks sent from Germany, and others I quilled from colored strips of paper.

It’s still my favorite Christmas tree memory.

Chuck & Pat in 2023

Our plans were to stay in the basement of Chuck and Pat, a local Baptist pastor and his wife, for a “a week or two” until the house we were going to rent became unoccupied. All of our furniture and meager belongings already were packed and stored in that house’s dining room.

But the rental fell through and we were pretty bummed because living in a house seemed quite preferable to residing in someone’s basement bedroom.

But of course God had a far better plan. Our “short” stay with our older and wiser friends and their two small children stretched into three months, forging a precious friendship which has endured for 49 years.

I loved learning about cooking, mothering, and serving God from my beautiful friend Pat. And I still remember the best piece of advice she gave me as we prepared to move in January 1975 to Franklinville, NY,  for Ralph’s first pastoral position.

“A lot of people in the church are going to have expectations for what a pastor’s wife should do,” Pat explained. “Don’t worry about them–just listen to God and do what pleases Him.”

That advice has been my mantra as I have tried to follow Christ all theses decades. A few times I’ve heard God loud and clear, but mostly it has been His “still, small voice.” (1 Kings 19:11-12)

How about you–what are you longing to hear from our Heavenly Father? Encouragement? Direction? Comfort? Wisdom? Hope?

I love how British Anglican priest Nicky Gumbel explains five ways God speaks to us (listed from most common to least):

READING—We study the Bible, which shows God’s general will for all people at all times Psalm 119:105 says “Your word is a lamp to guide my feet and a light for my path.”

LISTENING–We quiet ourselves to hear the Spirit of God. The more we know God, the better we will recognize His voice while awake or sleeping!  (John 10:3 )

THINKING–We trust our rational minds, not just our emotional leanings. Romans 12:2  says “Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.” (Renewing of your mind, not removing!)

TALKING–We seek out the counsel of other Christians. Proverbs 12:15 explains: “Fools think their own way is right, but the wise listen to others.”

WATCHING— We look for circumstantial signs–coincidences may be divine interventions!  (Acts 16:6)

God still speaks to us today, my friend. May you read, listen, think, talk, and watch for His voice of truth, hope and peace.

P.S. I’m pretty sure the tree-seller on that December day in 1974 heard and responded to the voice of God …whether he ever realized it or not.
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Hear Nicky’s teaching “How Does God Guide Us? from his Alpha course https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=luiosjkvUlo

Open in your browser to hear “Let Me Hear Your Voice” by Francesca LaRosa