Category: courage

Jun 17

Easy or hard: Which would you choose?

1st grade

3rd grade

It was early fall 1960 and my family recently had moved from Ohio to California.  I loved first-grade in the Buckeye State, but second grade apparently was “boring” in the Golden State where reading and math textbooks were the same ones I already completed.

My mother said I usually walked home from school, didn’t want to talk about anything, and then threw up. I would have suspected the cafeteria food or my tight perm, but  my parents, my teacher, and the principal got together and decided on a course of action.

After work that Friday, Dad sat on the edge of my bed with me. I don’t remember how the conversation started, but I definitely recall how it ended.

“So do you want to stay in second grade and have EASY work? Or go to third grade and have HARD work?”

With just-turned-seven-year-old exuberance, I replied: “I want to go to third grade and have HARD work, Daddy!”

On Monday morning, I took my crayon box out of my desk and marched down the hall to Miss Milford’s class, where I happily found “hard” work and stopped puking.

Pretty sure that was the last time in my life I voluntarily chose hard instead of easy.

Remember those Staples’ “easy” buttons from about 20 years ago? Personally, I would like the phrase “That was easy!” to describe my everyday life! I’m always on the lookout for ways to make life easier–for myself or people I care about. As I pray for the hurting people I know (and myself!), I always hope the answer/healing/resolution comes quickly.

But more often than not, it seems those prayers do not afford me a chance to respond with an “easy” button. Not only does life often not get any easier, sometimes it gets a whole lot harder–with no relief or explanation in sight.

I realize that many of you know exactly what I mean because  I’ve sat with you while you heard bad news. I’ve prayed with you when your world turned upside down. And I’ve cried with you as the worst actually happened.

You and I both know that life has not always been easy for you and your loved ones.

The word “easy” only appears in the Bible nine times–at least in the New Living Translation. Proverbs has a verse about lizards being “easy” to catch and the OldTestament prophet Ezekiel warns that scattered sheep make an “easy” target for predators.

But my favorite “easy” verse is found in Matthew 11:

“Then Jesus said, ‘Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens,
and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you. Let me teach you,
because I am humble and gentle at heart, and you will find rest for your souls.
 For my yoke is easy to bear, and the burden I give you is light.’”

I need to forget about the “easy” button and hoping to make life easy-peasy. Scripture never promises that God won’t give us more than we can handle, but Billy Graham preached and I believe:Billy Graham

“The will of God will not take us where the grace of God cannot sustain us.”

― Billy Graham

A yoke is not designed for one animal and neither were you designed to bear your burdens alone. Let Jesus carry them with you, resting in the sure knowledge that He will not take you where He cannot keep you.
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Open in your browser to hear “Rest for Your Soul” by Austin French.

May 20

Celebration Time: My Oncologist has cancer Part 13

Well, the milestone that no physician thought possible–but for which family, friends and patients prayed–is here.

Tomorrow, May 22, 2025, is the fifth anniversary of Dr. Marc Hirsh’s diagnosis of a stage 4 very rare neuroendocrine tumor of the thymus!

Marc doesn’t have a party planned–life itself is enough of a celebration for him.

He and wife Elizabeth–plus Golden Retriever Boondock–recently returned from two weeks of traveling south in their camper van–a trip that  seemed impossible five years ago.

Marc clearly remembers how he felt when diagnosed at age 69.

“When I saw  that it had invaded into my heart and was in my lung, I was pretty pessimistic,” he recalls. “I was having a lot of trouble breathing, short of breath and in a lot of pain. In the hospital when Elizabeth asked me if it was curable, I told her I probably would be dead in three weeks.”

The “lowest point” emotionally came during his appointment with an oncologist at Johns Hopkins, where Marc was “very hopeful” he would learn something optimistic.

Instead, the doctor recommended an extremely toxic chemotherapy regimen which had “no data that it was curative.”

“I still have the oncologist’s report…and it said that if I didn’t do what they said, I’d be dead soon.”

But Marc refused the recommended treatment.

“I knew how incredibly toxic it was and I knew how weak I was,” Marc explains. “I knew how immuno-supressed I’d be and we were in the middle of COVID. I likely would have had to spend a lot of time in the hospital and the virus easily could have killed me.”

Instead he devised his own protocol of radiation/hormone therapy/oral chemo and what had been a grapefruit-sized tumor was the size of a lime at his check-up last year.

Last week on their trip, Marc celebrated his 74th birthday with a quick stop to purchase the “State Dessert of Maryland.”

“I bought myself a Smith Island Cake and I froze it and am eating a piece every day,” he confesses with a smile.

Elizabeth added that “he’s eating it all by himself” as she  gave up  sweets decades ago!

Marc says the realization that he might not quickly die from the cancer has dawned slowly.

“After about two or three years of (the tumor) being completely stable or slightly smaller. I started thinking I might actually be cured and there’s no active tumor left,” Marc explains.

“But I’m under no illusion,” he continues, “that the cancer definitely will never come back. I have a check-up June 10 so we will see how it looks.”

In the meantime, he has joined the local senior center’s twice-weekly over-60 basketball league.

“My wind is not what it used to be and the games are pretty intense and exhausting, but I’m enjoying it.”

When I asked Marc if he had any encouragement for those facing daunting health circumstances, he replied: “No matter what the so-called experts say, there are exceptions to generalities.

“Keep living for the moment, each day, each hour, each minute, and try to find meaning and joy no matter what the situation.”

Marc, who for 30+ years has shared his faith as a Jew who believes in Jesus as Messiah, says his diagnosis reminded him that others would see whether his actions were consistent with his words.

“I knew I had the opportunity to be courageous and to live life to the fullest,” he adds. “I could be an example of how to deal with what life hands you.”

(Life has handed Elizabeth a challenge, too, as she was diagnosed in 2023 with Parkinson’s Disease and needs Marc’s assistance with tasks she no longer can do.)

And at this 5-year milestone, for what is Marc most thankful?

“I’m incredibly grateful to God that He allowed me to be here for Elizabeth after all she’s done for me.”

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Open in your browser to hear Rich Mullins, Marc and Elizabeth’s favorite Christian artist, sing “Awesome God.” It seems appropriate on this 5-year “Cancerversary” to acknowledge our awesome God, and Rich sitting at the piano sharing a little about his faith before he sings reminds me of what Marc has done at our prayer support group concerts for the past three decades.

 

 

 

 

May 06

Are you as steadfast as my youngest grandson?

My two youngest grandchildren are just 14 months apart in age and the best of buddies–although Mathis (red shirt) finds it disconcerting that even though he’s taller than his older cousin, he never can “catch up” in age to him.

A recent conversation illustrates his dilemma.

MATHIS: I’m 7 and Jack is 8…but when I’m 8, Jack will be 9 ‘cuz he’s one year older.
ME: That’s right. You’ll never be able to catch up with him. He’ll always be one year older.
MATHIS: No, he won’t.
ME: Oh, yes, he will, sweetheart. Jack always will be one year older than you.
MATHIS: No, he won’t.
ME: Yes, he will. Why do you think he won’t?
MATHIS: When I’m 99, he won’t be.
ME: Yes, he will, honey. When you’re 99, Jack will be 100.
MATHIS: No, he won’t.
ME: But he will–why do you think he won’t be?
MATHIS: Because he’ll be dead.
ME (suppressing shock): Why do you think that, sweetie?
MATHIS: ‘Cuz he’s older!

Gotta love how certain the kid is!

Obviously, Mathis’s logic may or may not hold up as I later explained to him that the older person doesn’t always die first.

“When you’re 99, Jack still might be alive and be 100, and you still could be best friends!” I told him.

He thought it over for a few moments and finally responded with a shrug and an “OK.”

That whole conversation got me thinking about how convinced–or unconvinced–are we of God’s truth? Are we steadfast in our belief that He will be faithful?

It’s pretty easy when life is going well.  But…what about when our health is precarious? Our job is cut? Our friend betrays us? Our marriage falls apart?  Our prodigal doesn’t come back? Our finances tank? Our loved one dies?

Do we refuse to be moved from God’s promises? No matter what our heart may feel. No matter what our eyes may see. No matter what our ears may hear.

Are we certain of God’s presence even in spite of what our heart may not feel, of what our eyes may not see, of what our eyes may not hear?

When God hasn’t answered our prayers the way we desperately wanted–and knew He could–are we still convinced of His loving care for us? I love King David’s answer to that question for himself and for all of us:

My soul, wait silently for God alone,
for my expectation is from Him.
He only is my rock and my salvation;
He is my defense; I shall not be moved.
In God is my salvation and my glory; the rock of my strength, and my refuge, is in God.
Trust in Him at all times, you people; pour out your heart before Him.
Psalm 62:5-8

I hope you will listen and sing along with Marty Goetz, Messianic Jewish recording artist’s song, “He is My Defense,” based on Psalm 62. Marty sings in English, Hebrew and Russian, from a live concert in Jerusalem. (Please open in your browser to hear!)

Mar 25

“Do one thing every day that scares you.”

First Lady Eleanor Roosevelt

I love this quote attributed to Eleanor Roosevelt.* I can only imagine how many “scary” things this First Lady had to do each day. She was described as a shy child, orphaned by age 10. Later her husband, Franklin D. Roosevelt, was stricken with polio, necessitating her expanded role in his political career.

Eventually she became the first First Lady to speak out on political and humanitarian issues, for which she was both strongly criticized and enthusiastically praised. I wonder if she woke up each day reminding herself: Do one thing today that scares you.

I’d like to suggest that today the scariest thing God may be calling you–and me–to do is to “be still” and trust Him.

Let me explain by sharing a great story in 2 Chronicles 20 about a scared Jewish king named Jehoshaphat. He was told that some powerful armies were coming to attack Jerusalem and his reaction was not atypical from what ours might have been—he “was terrified”!

Jehoshaphat “begged the Lord for guidance” and God answered by sending His Spirit to speak through one of the king’s men who announced:

 “This is what the Lord says: Do not be afraid! Don’t be discouraged by this mighty army, for the battle is not yours, but God’s. Tomorrow, march out against them. You will find them coming up through the ascent of Ziz at the end of the valley that opens into the wilderness of Jeruel. But you will not even need to fight. Take your positions; then stand still and watch the Lord’s victory. He is with you, O people of Judah and Jerusalem. Do not be afraid or discouraged. Go out against them tomorrow, for the Lord is with you!” (2 Chronicles 20:15-17)

The king and his people agreed to “fear not”—instead they believed God’s message and began to worship Him, praise Him, and sing to Him. At the very moment they did this, the Bible says God caused the approaching armies to fight amongst themselves and kill each other! The Israelites won the battle without a fight because God fought for them. 

Logically, standing still does not sound like a good way to win a battle. But then God’s ways are not always our ways, are they? The armies coming against Jehoshaphat were way too large and powerful to be defeated by the king and his men. The situation was hopeless from their perspective—but it was hope-filled from God’s vantage point.

One of the most difficult admonitions in Scripture for me to follow is Psalm 46:10: “Be still and know that I am God.” I’m not very good at being patiently still.

The word translated “still” in Psalm 46:10 is the Hebrew word harpu. I’m no Hebrew scholar, but I did some research and found it conveys the idea of letting go or ceasing to act. It’s the opposite of striving with our arms up, ready to fight or defend ourselves.

I think that at times we need to quit striving, acknowledge our fears, surrender the fight to God and prayerfully release His power to work in the situation.

So go ahead and do one thing today that might scare you: trust the Lord and be still–even when it doesn’t seem to make sense.

(This post is excerpted and adapted from Peace in the Face of Cancer, copyright Lynn Eib 2017.)

* Widely attributed to Eleanor Roosevelt (including in a 2013 book by the same name), I could not verify any original sources. The earliest verifiable print source appears to be a June 1997 Chicago Tribune advice column by Mary Schmich. But even if Mrs. Roosevelt didn’t utter this sentiment, I think she lived it!
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Open in your browser to hear the song I’ve been listening to every morning in the face of discouraging, seemingly hopeless circumstances: “Be Still and Know” with CeCe Winans.

 

 

Mar 11

Are you as contented as a 2-year-old?

A dozen years ago I was on our deck serving an early morning breakfast to my oldest grandchild, Bauer, 2½. Thanks to my husband’s green thumb, the deck was bursting with beautiful blooms and as I stumbled around, chiding my foggy brain to wake up, little Bauer let out a small toddler sigh.

“It’s lovely out here,” he said with a sweet smile. “We have everything we need.”

Ah, contentment.

A bowl of multigrain Cheerios with milk, a Lightning McQueen sippy cup of juice, the beauty of nature, and a day with grandma—what more could you possibly want?

Maybe a clear PET scan? Perhaps a day without turmoil? How about not struggling with depression? No more medicine side-effects would be nice. An insurance company that didn’t balk at paying for what the doctor ordered would be really great.

It’s difficult to have childlike contentment when we live in a grown-up world where in the U.S. alone, a new cancer diagnosis is made every 30 seconds and  someone is identified with Alzheimer’s every 65 seconds. On top of those sobering statistics, every second the political fight rages around us seemingly unabated.

It’s not easy to find contentment while watching ourselves or a loved one deal with  physical/emotional/mental assault.

I remember many years ago, our dear friends, Don and Jean, found their world turned upside down when she was diagnosed with inoperable, stage 4 non-small cell  lung cancer. The retired schoolteachers frantically began searching for contentment.

“I was shocked,” she told me at the time. “I thought I was too healthy to get cancer. I was doing all the ‘right’ things to be a healthy person—never smoking, eating right, exercising, weight control, regular checkups and all that.”

After that frightening diagnosis, both Don and Jean tried to live in the moment, but the admonition to “take one day at a time” was “the opposite” of their teaching careers.

“As teachers we always had to look ahead and plan for another day,” they explained.

Learning to live one day at a time—and live it to the fullest (like contentedly watching a Maine vacation sunset)—was not an easy task.

“I think both of us in our own way just turned this whole thing over to God,” Don recalled. “For me it was putting total faith in His plan—knowing it’s a perfect plan—even if I didn’t understand it all.”

I’ve thought often about my grandson’s contented sentiment, especially mornings when I sit down with my to-do list, ready to organize everything that I think needs to be done that day! Sometimes I pause, smile to myself and say: “It’s lovely here and we have everything we need.”

Perhaps that’s a sentiment with which you could start your day?  The words of a toddler could be described as childish, but if you have total faith in a loving God, they can become childlike trust.

I remember that peaceful feeling when my newly delivered, just-nursed firstborn slept in my arms. All the hours of terrible back labor and exhaustion were forgotten. The future still was unknown, but with the psalmist I could say:

 

Of one thing I am certain: my soul has become calm, quiet, and contented in You.
Like a weaned child resting upon his mother, I am quiet. 
Psalm 131:2 The Voice Bible

And on this promise I still can rest:

Keep your lives free from the love of money and be content with what you have, because God has said,
“Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.” Hebrews 13:5

 It is lovely here in my soul and with God I have everything I need.
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Please open in your browser to hear the music video “If I Got Jesus” by Ben Fuller. (I liked the words and music so much, I decided to ignore the grammar mistakes! 🙂 )