Category: courage

May 20

Celebration Time: My Oncologist has cancer Part 13

Well, the milestone that no physician thought possible–but for which family, friends and patients prayed–is here.

Tomorrow, May 22, 2025, is the fifth anniversary of Dr. Marc Hirsh’s diagnosis of a stage 4 very rare neuroendocrine tumor of the thymus!

Marc doesn’t have a party planned–life itself is enough of a celebration for him.

He and wife Elizabeth–plus Golden Retriever Boondock–recently returned from two weeks of traveling south in their camper van–a trip that  seemed impossible five years ago.

Marc clearly remembers how he felt when diagnosed at age 69.

“When I saw  that it had invaded into my heart and was in my lung, I was pretty pessimistic,” he recalls. “I was having a lot of trouble breathing, short of breath and in a lot of pain. In the hospital when Elizabeth asked me if it was curable, I told her I probably would be dead in three weeks.”

The “lowest point” emotionally came during his appointment with an oncologist at Johns Hopkins, where Marc was “very hopeful” he would learn something optimistic.

Instead, the doctor recommended an extremely toxic chemotherapy regimen which had “no data that it was curative.”

“I still have the oncologist’s report…and it said that if I didn’t do what they said, I’d be dead soon.”

But Marc refused the recommended treatment.

“I knew how incredibly toxic it was and I knew how weak I was,” Marc explains. “I knew how immuno-supressed I’d be and we were in the middle of COVID. I likely would have had to spend a lot of time in the hospital and the virus easily could have killed me.”

Instead he devised his own protocol of radiation/hormone therapy/oral chemo and what had been a grapefruit-sized tumor was the size of a lime at his check-up last year.

Last week on their trip, Marc celebrated his 74th birthday with a quick stop to purchase the “State Dessert of Maryland.”

“I bought myself a Smith Island Cake and I froze it and am eating a piece every day,” he confesses with a smile.

Elizabeth added that “he’s eating it all by himself” as she  gave up  sweets decades ago!

Marc says the realization that he might not quickly die from the cancer has dawned slowly.

“After about two or three years of (the tumor) being completely stable or slightly smaller. I started thinking I might actually be cured and there’s no active tumor left,” Marc explains.

“But I’m under no illusion,” he continues, “that the cancer definitely will never come back. I have a check-up June 10 so we will see how it looks.”

In the meantime, he has joined the local senior center’s twice-weekly over-60 basketball league.

“My wind is not what it used to be and the games are pretty intense and exhausting, but I’m enjoying it.”

When I asked Marc if he had any encouragement for those facing daunting health circumstances, he replied: “No matter what the so-called experts say, there are exceptions to generalities.

“Keep living for the moment, each day, each hour, each minute, and try to find meaning and joy no matter what the situation.”

Marc, who for 30+ years has shared his faith as a Jew who believes in Jesus as Messiah, says his diagnosis reminded him that others would see whether his actions were consistent with his words.

“I knew I had the opportunity to be courageous and to live life to the fullest,” he adds. “I could be an example of how to deal with what life hands you.”

(Life has handed Elizabeth a challenge, too, as she was diagnosed in 2023 with Parkinson’s Disease and needs Marc’s assistance with tasks she no longer can do.)

And at this 5-year milestone, for what is Marc most thankful?

“I’m incredibly grateful to God that He allowed me to be here for Elizabeth after all she’s done for me.”

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Open in your browser to hear Rich Mullins, Marc and Elizabeth’s favorite Christian artist, sing “Awesome God.” It seems appropriate on this 5-year “Cancerversary” to acknowledge our awesome God, and Rich sitting at the piano sharing a little about his faith before he sings reminds me of what Marc has done at our prayer support group concerts for the past three decades.

 

 

 

 

May 06

Are you as steadfast as my youngest grandson?

My two youngest grandchildren are just 14 months apart in age and the best of buddies–although Mathis (red shirt) finds it disconcerting that even though he’s taller than his older cousin, he never can “catch up” in age to him.

A recent conversation illustrates his dilemma.

MATHIS: I’m 7 and Jack is 8…but when I’m 8, Jack will be 9 ‘cuz he’s one year older.
ME: That’s right. You’ll never be able to catch up with him. He’ll always be one year older.
MATHIS: No, he won’t.
ME: Oh, yes, he will, sweetheart. Jack always will be one year older than you.
MATHIS: No, he won’t.
ME: Yes, he will. Why do you think he won’t?
MATHIS: When I’m 99, he won’t be.
ME: Yes, he will, honey. When you’re 99, Jack will be 100.
MATHIS: No, he won’t.
ME: But he will–why do you think he won’t be?
MATHIS: Because he’ll be dead.
ME (suppressing shock): Why do you think that, sweetie?
MATHIS: ‘Cuz he’s older!

Gotta love how certain the kid is!

Obviously, Mathis’s logic may or may not hold up as I later explained to him that the older person doesn’t always die first.

“When you’re 99, Jack still might be alive and be 100, and you still could be best friends!” I told him.

He thought it over for a few moments and finally responded with a shrug and an “OK.”

That whole conversation got me thinking about how convinced–or unconvinced–are we of God’s truth? Are we steadfast in our belief that He will be faithful?

It’s pretty easy when life is going well.  But…what about when our health is precarious? Our job is cut? Our friend betrays us? Our marriage falls apart?  Our prodigal doesn’t come back? Our finances tank? Our loved one dies?

Do we refuse to be moved from God’s promises? No matter what our heart may feel. No matter what our eyes may see. No matter what our ears may hear.

Are we certain of God’s presence even in spite of what our heart may not feel, of what our eyes may not see, of what our eyes may not hear?

When God hasn’t answered our prayers the way we desperately wanted–and knew He could–are we still convinced of His loving care for us? I love King David’s answer to that question for himself and for all of us:

My soul, wait silently for God alone,
for my expectation is from Him.
He only is my rock and my salvation;
He is my defense; I shall not be moved.
In God is my salvation and my glory; the rock of my strength, and my refuge, is in God.
Trust in Him at all times, you people; pour out your heart before Him.
Psalm 62:5-8

I hope you will listen and sing along with Marty Goetz, Messianic Jewish recording artist’s song, “He is My Defense,” based on Psalm 62. Marty sings in English, Hebrew and Russian, from a live concert in Jerusalem. (Please open in your browser to hear!)

Mar 25

“Do one thing every day that scares you.”

First Lady Eleanor Roosevelt

I love this quote attributed to Eleanor Roosevelt.* I can only imagine how many “scary” things this First Lady had to do each day. She was described as a shy child, orphaned by age 10. Later her husband, Franklin D. Roosevelt, was stricken with polio, necessitating her expanded role in his political career.

Eventually she became the first First Lady to speak out on political and humanitarian issues, for which she was both strongly criticized and enthusiastically praised. I wonder if she woke up each day reminding herself: Do one thing today that scares you.

I’d like to suggest that today the scariest thing God may be calling you–and me–to do is to “be still” and trust Him.

Let me explain by sharing a great story in 2 Chronicles 20 about a scared Jewish king named Jehoshaphat. He was told that some powerful armies were coming to attack Jerusalem and his reaction was not atypical from what ours might have been—he “was terrified”!

Jehoshaphat “begged the Lord for guidance” and God answered by sending His Spirit to speak through one of the king’s men who announced:

 “This is what the Lord says: Do not be afraid! Don’t be discouraged by this mighty army, for the battle is not yours, but God’s. Tomorrow, march out against them. You will find them coming up through the ascent of Ziz at the end of the valley that opens into the wilderness of Jeruel. But you will not even need to fight. Take your positions; then stand still and watch the Lord’s victory. He is with you, O people of Judah and Jerusalem. Do not be afraid or discouraged. Go out against them tomorrow, for the Lord is with you!” (2 Chronicles 20:15-17)

The king and his people agreed to “fear not”—instead they believed God’s message and began to worship Him, praise Him, and sing to Him. At the very moment they did this, the Bible says God caused the approaching armies to fight amongst themselves and kill each other! The Israelites won the battle without a fight because God fought for them. 

Logically, standing still does not sound like a good way to win a battle. But then God’s ways are not always our ways, are they? The armies coming against Jehoshaphat were way too large and powerful to be defeated by the king and his men. The situation was hopeless from their perspective—but it was hope-filled from God’s vantage point.

One of the most difficult admonitions in Scripture for me to follow is Psalm 46:10: “Be still and know that I am God.” I’m not very good at being patiently still.

The word translated “still” in Psalm 46:10 is the Hebrew word harpu. I’m no Hebrew scholar, but I did some research and found it conveys the idea of letting go or ceasing to act. It’s the opposite of striving with our arms up, ready to fight or defend ourselves.

I think that at times we need to quit striving, acknowledge our fears, surrender the fight to God and prayerfully release His power to work in the situation.

So go ahead and do one thing today that might scare you: trust the Lord and be still–even when it doesn’t seem to make sense.

(This post is excerpted and adapted from Peace in the Face of Cancer, copyright Lynn Eib 2017.)

* Widely attributed to Eleanor Roosevelt (including in a 2013 book by the same name), I could not verify any original sources. The earliest verifiable print source appears to be a June 1997 Chicago Tribune advice column by Mary Schmich. But even if Mrs. Roosevelt didn’t utter this sentiment, I think she lived it!
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Open in your browser to hear the song I’ve been listening to every morning in the face of discouraging, seemingly hopeless circumstances: “Be Still and Know” with CeCe Winans.

 

 

Mar 11

Are you as contented as a 2-year-old?

A dozen years ago I was on our deck serving an early morning breakfast to my oldest grandchild, Bauer, 2½. Thanks to my husband’s green thumb, the deck was bursting with beautiful blooms and as I stumbled around, chiding my foggy brain to wake up, little Bauer let out a small toddler sigh.

“It’s lovely out here,” he said with a sweet smile. “We have everything we need.”

Ah, contentment.

A bowl of multigrain Cheerios with milk, a Lightning McQueen sippy cup of juice, the beauty of nature, and a day with grandma—what more could you possibly want?

Maybe a clear PET scan? Perhaps a day without turmoil? How about not struggling with depression? No more medicine side-effects would be nice. An insurance company that didn’t balk at paying for what the doctor ordered would be really great.

It’s difficult to have childlike contentment when we live in a grown-up world where in the U.S. alone, a new cancer diagnosis is made every 30 seconds and  someone is identified with Alzheimer’s every 65 seconds. On top of those sobering statistics, every second the political fight rages around us seemingly unabated.

It’s not easy to find contentment while watching ourselves or a loved one deal with  physical/emotional/mental assault.

I remember many years ago, our dear friends, Don and Jean, found their world turned upside down when she was diagnosed with inoperable, stage 4 non-small cell  lung cancer. The retired schoolteachers frantically began searching for contentment.

“I was shocked,” she told me at the time. “I thought I was too healthy to get cancer. I was doing all the ‘right’ things to be a healthy person—never smoking, eating right, exercising, weight control, regular checkups and all that.”

After that frightening diagnosis, both Don and Jean tried to live in the moment, but the admonition to “take one day at a time” was “the opposite” of their teaching careers.

“As teachers we always had to look ahead and plan for another day,” they explained.

Learning to live one day at a time—and live it to the fullest (like contentedly watching a Maine vacation sunset)—was not an easy task.

“I think both of us in our own way just turned this whole thing over to God,” Don recalled. “For me it was putting total faith in His plan—knowing it’s a perfect plan—even if I didn’t understand it all.”

I’ve thought often about my grandson’s contented sentiment, especially mornings when I sit down with my to-do list, ready to organize everything that I think needs to be done that day! Sometimes I pause, smile to myself and say: “It’s lovely here and we have everything we need.”

Perhaps that’s a sentiment with which you could start your day?  The words of a toddler could be described as childish, but if you have total faith in a loving God, they can become childlike trust.

I remember that peaceful feeling when my newly delivered, just-nursed firstborn slept in my arms. All the hours of terrible back labor and exhaustion were forgotten. The future still was unknown, but with the psalmist I could say:

 

Of one thing I am certain: my soul has become calm, quiet, and contented in You.
Like a weaned child resting upon his mother, I am quiet. 
Psalm 131:2 The Voice Bible

And on this promise I still can rest:

Keep your lives free from the love of money and be content with what you have, because God has said,
“Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.” Hebrews 13:5

 It is lovely here in my soul and with God I have everything I need.
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Please open in your browser to hear the music video “If I Got Jesus” by Ben Fuller. (I liked the words and music so much, I decided to ignore the grammar mistakes! 🙂 )

Nov 12

“I just felt really called into loving people with cancer”

When Tom Wilkinson* was diagnosed in 2008 with stage 4 head and neck cancer, he never imagined that God soon would use him to encourage his oldest daughter on her own cancer journey.

“He’s my hero,” says Joanna Dennstaedt, second in a family of six born to Tom and Dee Wilkinson.  “He was the voice of reason and wisdom for me through it all.”

Joanna–“Jo” to her friends–was devastated in 2014 to get the diagnosis of stage 3 melanoma at the age of 34. Her four children were only 7, 5, 3, and 15 months. Two surgeries, including a complete groin lymph node dissection knocked her off her feet before she even started chemo.

The scheduled treatment was a year-long, weekly immunotherapy drug called Interferon, which had such tough side effects patients were normally hospitalized for the infusions and few could tolerate it for 12 months.

“I made it almost 10 months before it was killing me,” Jo recalls. “My liver was shot, my thyroid was shot and I started panicking.

“I was probably rock bottom and I kept thinking ‘I’m not going to get to raise my kids”,” she adds.

Me speaking at the 2024 Radiant Hope banquet

About that time she met a woman named Ivelisse Page who through her nonprofit Believe Big https://www.believebig.org/ helped Jo find a naturopathic doctor and get complementary treatments to help heal her body. She also gave her a copy of my book 50 Days of Hope.

And then one day a beautiful “sunshine” package showed up from an anonymous person in another state, who had been reading Jo’s blog.  The enclosed note explained that the sender and her co-workers “put this box together and prayed for you.”

That’s when Jo knew.

“Why am I not doing this for others?” she asked herself. “I knew I needed to get outside of Jo.”

And the vision for Radiant Hope was birthed–months after Jo’s dad encouraged her not to “waste” her cancer and instead believe God could use “all the good and the hard.”

God confirmed Jo’s idea while at the cancer center one day He spoke to her heart: “You’re not here for you; you’re here for Me.”

“I just felt really called into loving people with cancer,” Jo explains.

And that she has.

In the nine years since the nonprofit https://www.radianthope.com/ was established in Mechanicsburg, PA, it has:

  • Served more than 7,000 people in 387 Pennsylvania counties
  • Given away 5,000+ “HOPE” boxes, which include a copy of 50 Days of Hope
  • Handed out 2,000+ water bottles at cancer treatment centers
  • Provided respite care, scholarships, holiday gifts, one-on-one mentoring, celebrations, family photos and a cancer support group

“I never really wanted to start a nonprofit,” Jo admits. “I didn’t take a single business class in college, so I was wondering what was God calling me into?”

But now she realizes that “cancer has prepared me well to serve others.”

“Radiant Hope started out of my healing journey,” Jo explains. “All I did was say ‘yes’ and God did all the rest.”

“Cancer itself is not a gift, but there are so many little gifts that come out of it along the way,” Jo says. “I thought when my Dad had cancer that it was going to be the worst thing ever, but instead we could walk through my cancer journey together.

“Now I walk with others and encourage them just like he did for me.”

*(If you missed Tom’s story, read my last blog on 10-29.)
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Open in your browser to hear “Wings”  (based on Psalm 91) by Lauren Daigle.